Tag Archive for house of representatives

The Russian Connection

A huge scandal has arisen just three weeks into the Trump Administration and it’s all hands on deck for Republicans as they try to lie and spin their way out of yet more treachery and deceit. This time, Michael Flynn has resigned as National Security Advisor due to his contacting Russian officials about sanctions against Russia in the waning days of the Obama Administration. Initially, Flynn said he didn’t but now the truth has come out and he did. Hence, the first casualty of the Trump administration. More caca will hit the fan soon as pressure mounts to investigate who knew what and when.

What’s more is that initially, Utah congressman and smuggest person in the House of Representative, Jason Chaffetz, who is chair of the House Oversight Committee, said that there will be no investigation of Flynn and his connections to Russia. WHAT???!!! Are you freakin’ kidding!!! But Chaffetz wants to continue to investigate Hillary Clinton over her emails even though no wrongdoing was reported by the FBI in numerous investigations. Republicans are acting that they’re very concerned about the possible connections between Russia and Trump, but you can bet they will give a half-ass effort in investigating any wrongdoing. Even Rand Paul admitted “I just don’t think it’s useful to be doing investigation after investigation, particularly of your own party.” Wow! What integrity!

So will the press grow a spine and dig further into this stinking pile of dung like they should? Will the Republicans show actual ethics and integrity and investigate other Republicans for possible wrongdoing? Will America’s CEO/Dictator quit his job to go golfing? Stay tuned for answers to these and other burning questions on the next exciting episode of The Apprentice President.

In the wake of National Security Advisor Michal Flynn's scandalous resignation because of possible treasonous connections with Russia, smuggest Congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz bravely proposes that we investigate Hillary Clinton's emails which pleases America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, who loves a good lackey.

In the wake of National Security Advisor Michal Flynn’s scandalous resignation because of possible treasonous connections with Russia, smuggest Congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz bravely proposes that we investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails which pleases America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, who loves a good lackey.

The Benghazi Witch Hunt

In the aftermath of the first Democratic debates, more Republican stupidity…

California GOP congressman Kevin McCarthy made headlines recently in a couple ways. First, he was next in line to replace John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) as Speaker of the House. But upon seeing that he would somehow have to spend every waking moment trying to wrangle the Tea Party wingnuts, he decided to remove his name from consideration, thus throwing the House of Representatives into even more chaos.

The second way, which was the cause of the aforementioned event, was that McCarthy showed his incompetence by opening admitting that the Benghazi hearings were nothing more than a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton at the expense of the taxpayers money. So, seeing that he pretty much blew the Republican’s cover, he bowed out.

A Benghazi whistleblower came forward last week pretty much saying the same thing as McCarthy, which brought forth the lead investigator of the Benghazi witch hunt, South Carolina GOP Congressman Trey Gowdy from his underground lair to denounce the whistleblower and McCarthy. Which in turn brought a surprise response from CNN denouncing Gowdy.

What this all means is what most sane Americans have suspected all along. The Benghazi investigation is nothing but a political character assassination campaign by the GOP against Hillary Clinton in order to prevent her from being elected President. Now the teabagger Republicans in the House are going to start another witch hunt at the taxpayers expense investigating Hillary’s private e-mail server she kept as Secretary of State. If they want true justice, then they should also investigate former Secretary of State Colin Powell, who also relied on personal e-mails. While they’re at it, investigate all those e-mails that got erased from Dubya’s White House account back in 2007. Oh that’s right! We keep forgetting. It’s okay when Republicans do it.

Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton for Benghazi and her e-mail server.

Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton.

Boehner’s Holy Revelation

There was some huge news this past week and we here at the Bucket are suffering from a massive case of Schadenfreude. Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has announced that he is resigning effective the end of the month. Of course, Boehner milked the moment for every thing it was worth in true christian martyr fashion, proclaiming by stepping down he is saving congress. However, we believe that Papa Francisco’s visit had a lot to do with the Orange Man’s departure. Boehner, a life long Catholic, was very moved by the pope’s visit. We think that while listening to his speech and looking out at the ‘christian’ Republicans sitting in the Senate and House, Boehner had a gobsmack revelation when he realized what astounding, hypocritical assholes he and his colleagues were in comparison with the pope.

Boehner provided a lot of laughs for us here at the Bucket over the years but we’re sure that his nut job replacement as Speaker will soon be providing comedic gold for satirists everywhere. We say good riddance to the Chief Oompa Loompa with one more photo-toon for the road.

Pope Francis' visit to Congress opened Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner's eyes and helped him realize what a colossal asshole he has been.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner, bids farewell to Congress after realizing what a colossal asshole he has been.

 

GOP Insanity Plea

Just when you thought the Republicans couldn’t get any more irrational… Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has decided to sue President Obama for doing his job. According to the increasingly mentally unbalanced Republicans who control the House of Representatives, they see President Obama’s perfectly by the book executive orders as overreach of his authority. This despite the fact that President Obama has far fewer executive orders than any of his predecessors. We like that President Obama has finally given up trying to be the Compromiser-in-Chief and that he has said that he is doing his job because Congress is not doing theirs. Booom! There it is!  But the House GOP may have taken the final step for placement into the loony bin when they demanded action from Obama on the influx of immigrants into the southwestern USA after suing him for taking too much action. Talk about wasting taxpayers money! So let’s get this straight: Obama is damned for taking action and he’s damned for not taking action. Yep! Get the straight jackets ready. Boehner and Co. are officially lip-diddling insane.

Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, explains that President Obama is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, dressed in his stylish new straightjacket, explains why people need to vote the Republicans out of Congress this November.

Diplomacy Is So Wimpy

President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are making the case for taking limited military action against Syria for allegedly using chemical weapons on it’s own people. We’re not sure more military action in the Middle East is wise at this time but what’s most disturbing is one of the reasons stated by our illustrious Democratic and Republican leaders: that we need to take action because we don’t want to look wimpy. Really? This is an important reason for taking military action in a hotbed of civil unrest? We don’t want to look wimpy???!!!  Right, diplomacy is so wimpy. Gee, don’t forget we want to impress the cheerleaders and cool kids, too. We’ve come to expect this grade school reasoning from Republicans, but come on President Obama and John Kerry! Screw using our tax money on jobs, employment, infrastructure and education IN THIS COUNTRY!!! Let’s get into another Middle Eastern quagmire, because we don’t want to look wimpy. Geez, you can almost see the marionette strings on our leaders as they are being manipulated by the military industrial complex.

President Obama explains the importance of looking tough to avoid the painful wedgies and swirlies which may follow from trying to use wimpy diplomacy.

 

 

Holding The Nation Hostage

Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, reveals the GOP’s patriotic plan to save America from the horrors of Obamacare.

 

Congress Is Great…At Sucking

It appears that our congress has reached a new level of ineptitude. According to recent polls, congressional approval is down to 10% in a Gallup poll and 11% in a recent Rasmussen poll. Of course, this is to be expected since our Congress is made up of jellyfish (Democrats) and crybabies (Republicans). This says a lot about Americans as well. It’s been this way for some time and yet we continually send these same clowns back to Washington instead of sending new faces with fresh ideas from other parties. It’s like a certain segment of our population is comfortable with this clearly dysfunctional representation. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Maybe for the next election, we should try electing new people and new parties in Washington.

At least our bought-off-and-paid-for-corporate-loving congress has agreed on a bipartisan message for all us Americans who aren’t a corporation.

The United States congress has finally come together for a special message to the non-corporate American electorate.