Got The Blahs? Read A Book!

In case you haven’t noticed, we haven’t published many posts in 2021. Joe Biden is doing a great job so far, but our motivation levels here at the Bucket are anemic. Maybe we’re still fatigued from four years of non-stop insanity from Trump and the Republicans. Or maybe we’re dismayed with all the continued mass shootings, the ongoing pandemic, the Chauvin trial, anti-maskers and continued Republican chicanery. We weren’t sure why we’ve been so demotivated lately but we found an article about having the blahs that suggested a cause and possible solution. Just like a lot of Americans, we seem to be languishing – a feeling of joylessness and aimlessness.

One of the solutions for languishing is focusing on a small goal and give yourself uninterrupted time to accomplish said goal. We’ll refer to a post from a year ago when America had just started quarantining from the pandemic. We recommended everyone read a book. Guess what? We still highly recommend it. Take a look at the reading list we provided, chock full of informative, entertaining books pertaining to science, nature, politics and history.

We also recommend books over at Copper Cactus E-books, which contains science fiction stories by budding Arizonan sci-fi writer S. Zarkon. His primary series, Tales of Zarkon, which are inspired by The Twilight ZoneStrange Tales and The Outer Limits, are science fiction/suspense stories exploring the quirky, dark and bizarre aspects of humanity and reality. Strange twists and odd turns will lead the reader down shadowy paths where anything can happen and nothing is as it seems. And many of Zarkon’s tales are set in Arizona, too. Hopefully, we’ll all get through our languishing period and some normalcy will return to our lives soon.

Got the blahs? Read a science fiction story like one of S. Zarkon’s Tales of Zarkon at szarkon.com.
Got the blahs? Read a science fiction story like one of S. Zarkon’s Tales of Zarkon at szarkon.com.

Quarantine Blues? Read A Book!

The coronavirus has temporarily changed the way of life in America. Most states have issued stay at home orders and only essential businesses remain open. Americans are practicing social distancing and many people are reportedly getting the quarantine blues. What’s the solution?

Here’s a novel idea… read a book! Yes, that old tried and true way of obtaining information and entertaining oneself is still a wonderful way to pass the time. We’ve compiled a list of some of our staff’s favorite books in science, nature, politics and history.

Or if you’re in the mood for lighter fare, check out the e-books available at Copper Cactus E-books, which includes the Tales of Zarkon science fiction series by Arizonan S. Zarkon. As staff member Lamebeard the Pirate sez, “Arrrghhh! They’re ripping good yarns!” They’re affordably priced, too.

Got the coronavirus quarantine blues? Read a book like one of S. Zarkon's Tales of Zarkon at szarkon.com.
Got the coronavirus quarantine blues? Read a book like one of S. Zarkon’s Tales of Zarkon at szarkon.com.

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.

Trump’s Z-List Inaugural Jamboree

Much is being said about Donald Trump’s upcoming inauguration as the 45th President of the United States and the lack of star power he has so far attracted to the event. Much like the GOP convention, it looks like there will be a dearth of A-list entertainment options despite claims to the contrary by Trump and all his pals. About the only celebrities willing to perform are Kid Rock and Ted Nugent. We’re also sure Scott Baio is probably available. Maybe he could play some songs off of his albums. Actually, Alec Baldwin, who has been comically portraying Trump on SNL, has offered to perform at the inauguration if he can sing AC/DC’s Highway to Hell.

We think that maybe Trump will have to turn to the animal kingdom for performers. Maybe some YouTube cats, or some drum playing hound or maybe a piano playing squirrel. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Donald Trump is attracting top notch, A-List entertainers to perform at his inauguration like Nutsy, the piano playing squirrel.
Donald Trump is attracting top notch, A-List entertainers to perform at his inauguration like Nutsy, the piano playing squirrel.

Must…Worship….Celebrities!

And now for something completely different…

Remember when there was a dearth of celebrity worship shows? Neither do we. Here’s an article from our January 4, 2004 issue.

American Crisis: Shortage Of Celebrity Worship Shows

America is facing a huge crisis of gargantuan proportions the likes of which haven’t been seen in some time: the shortage of celebrity worship shows. Entertainment industry experts proclaim this year could be dire for celebrity obsessed Americans.

Hollywood Beat reporter Joel Tinsel said “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! It’s just brutal out there! Currently, the only way to keep track of your favorite celebrities are shows like Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, Extra, Celebrity Justice, Cribs, Celebrity Stalker, Celebrity Anus Probe and Entertainment Studios.com. Then there are celebrity talk shows like David Letterman, Conan, Tonight Show, Carson Daly, Craig Kilborn, El Gordo y la Flaca, Sharon Osbourne, Ellen DeGeneres, The View, Ali and Jack, Regis and Kelly, Bumphus and Mortimer, and Toolin’ with Aunt Tootie. And then there are the game shows which really are celebrity worship shows like Hollywood Squares, 10,000 Dollar Pyramid and Tinseltown Airheads. As you can see, this clearly is not enough for the millions of Americans that are clamoring to touch a star!”

Jill Knotts of Brainerd, Minnesota said, “I need to know what Britney Spears is doing morning, noon and night. You see, I don’t have a life of my own, so I need to live through her. If I don’t know what she’s doing I just cower in the corner of my closet and suck my thumb for hours on end.”

Tyler Moore of Eagle Butte, Idaho said, “I’m all about couples news, man. I need to know which couples are together and which have broken up. You know the power couples, like Brad and Jennifer, Will and Jada, Bennifer, Michael and Catherine Zeta Jones, Julia Roberts and whoever, Anne Heche and whatever. If I lose track of this vital information I’d probably kill myself.”

Mary Deacon of Claypitt, Georgia said, “Before I develop my own opinion on any subject, I wait until I hear what the celebrities think on the subject. I mean after all, they’re the most intelligent people on the planet. They’re so much better than I am. If Jessica Simpson says no to world hunger, then that’s all I need to know.”

Industry insiders have mentioned that electronic tracking devices will soon be implanted into all celebrities so that reporting on their activities will be much easier. Trials have already been performed on such top celebs as Anna Nicole Smith, Pauly Shore and Victoria Jackson. Marilu Henner even has a twenty-four hour channel documenting every phase of her life.

Tinsel reacted tearfully to the new technology. “This is sooooooo fantastic! Americans will never be without knowledge of celebrity whereabouts ever again! OMG! Marilu Henner is cutting her toenails!”