Tag Archive for Florida

Hurricane Commander

The Trump administration recently added another level to its already towering pile of preposterous bullshit it has spewed upon the American electorate in the last three years. Apparently, now meteorologists have to check with our dear leader before making any weather forecasts. Yes, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s ego is so weak and fragile that telling him he’s wrong on weather forecasts could get you fired.

It all started when Hurricane Dorian approached the Bahamas and was threatening Florida and the southeastern United States. Trump tweeted that people in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas should be aware but he also included Alabama. Now when Dorian was passing by Puerto Rico, spaghetti plots suggested that maybe Alabama would get hit. But as the cyclone approached the Bahamas days later, it became evident from the updated forecast models that Alabama was in little to no danger. The models had changed. This is when Trump sent out his infamous tweet. The National Weather Service in Alabama tweeted a correction to Trump’s tweet stating that Alabamans need not worry because they were not threatened.

Now a normal, sane human being would just say, “Oops. My bad.” and get on with life. Not Trump. No, the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House who in his warped conservative mind is never wrong and claims to be the ‘chosen one’ doubled down and presented a weather chart a few day later that had obviously been altered by a sharpie to include Alabama in the forecast’s cone of uncertainty. This touched off Sharpiegate which unfortunately has taken center stage over the death and destruction that occurred in the Bahamas due to Hurricane Dorian.

To make matters worse, an unsigned notice from admin people in NOAA(National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) popped up last week saying they were wrong to contradict the President. Apparently, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross threatened that heads would roll if the meteorologists didn’t apologize to dear leader. Of course, meteorologists, scientists and thinking intelligent humans are not accepting this at all and calls for Ross’s resignation have been inundating the White House like storm surge from a hurricane.

And then, just because he’s the biggest asshole on the planet, Trump forbade a ship full of storm survivors from the Bahamas to dock in Florida because. . . you know . . . there might be ‘very bad people’ trying to sneak in with the refugees. What a dick!

The point is that Donald Trump is so unstable that he shouldn’t be counted on for anything, even compassion for his fellow human beings. Think about it. Meteorologists have to make sure their forecasts don’t offend or contradict the President? Hurricane victims who just lost everything can’t even seek refuge within the United States? Are you kidding???!!! His incompetence isn’t funny anymore, it’s frightening. He’s a danger to this country and the planet. He is subverting democracy right under our noses. World events, like the recent Saudi Arabia attacks, are happening now that need a calm cool head, not an idiot who thinks he’s the ‘chosen one’, denies climate change yet somehow can control the weather and will never admit he’s wrong even when you shove the facts in his face. Democrats, grow a spine and do your job! IMPEACH THIS JOKER – NOW!!!

American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed 'chosen one', Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn't follow his commands.
American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn’t follow his commands.

Paranoid States of America


The verdict from the George Zimmerman trial is in and unbelievably he was found not guilty. Right wingers and gun nuts have declared victory for justice in America. Really? Well, it is a golden age for gun makers since everybody and their brother will be buying up arms, especially in Florida, so they don’t feel threatened. So just remember folks: if you’re walking down the street all locked and loaded and itching to shoot and you see some young hooligan wearing a hoodie, go ahead and pop him one, because you know anyone wearing a hoodie is sure to be threatening you.

In the wake of the Zimmerman trial, neighbors are reaching out to each other all across America.

The Party of New Ideas


Former Republican Governor of Florida and brother of the bestest President ever, George W. Bush, laid the ground work this past week for a possible run at the White House in 2016 when he said on Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, that he believes that there isn’t any Bush baggage at all. Wow! We want to know what color the sky is in Jeb Bush’s wonderful wacky world.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush comes up with a fresh proposition for America, because the Republicans are the party of new ideas.

Are You Threatening Me?

With the recent mass shootings and the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman incident, the United States Mint has decided to re-issue the Florida state quarter to honor of the state’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ law which states that a person may use necessary force to defend themselves if they ever feel threatened. And who better to represent this wacky law than lovable, cartoon legend Beavis (with apologies to Mike Judge), who is depicted as his paranoid alter ego, the Great Cornholio. NRA spokesmen claim this is a fitting tribute to a nation that truly loves its guns and hopefully will put us one step closer to the apocalyptic world of The Road Warrior. Yessirree! Arizona and Florida: leading the country in crazy!

The United States mint has reissued a new state quarter for Florida to honor it’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ law with a fitting portrait of lovable, cartoon legend Beavis as his no-nonsense, paranoid alter ego, the Great Cornholio, uttering his famous catchphrase, which has coincidentally become the motto for the law’s supporters.