Archive for Compassionate CONservatives

Sleazed And Abused

Controversial Republican candidate for Senator in Alabama and bible thumper extraordinaire, Roy Moore, has recently become even more reprehensible, if that’s possible. Moore is running for Senate in a special election against Democrat Doug Jones to fill Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III’s seat. But last week, a woman came forward and claimed that Moore initiated a sexual encounter when she was 14 and Moore was 32. Yikes!!! Talk about sleazy! But more women have come forward since. Today, a fifth woman has accused Moore of sexual misconduct when she was 16.

What’s even more disturbing than Moore’s seeming penchant for teenage girls are the boneheaded responses from Moore supporters in the GOP actually defending his actions. The stupidest was Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler’s response that “Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus,”. Wow!  In a unbelievable outbreak of good sense, some GOP senators, including Turtle Boy, Mitch McConnell, have stated that Moore should probably leave the race.

If Moore does leave the race, he can always go hang around with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson, from Dazed and Confused, and they can scope out the high school girls.

Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey's creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do.

Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do.

Maybe The Problem Is The Pizza

John Schnatter, the founder and owner of Papa John’s pizza, recently came under fire for complaining that his pizza sales were down because of the NFL protests.

This from a man who complained back in 2012 that Obamacare would force him to raise the price of his pizza a measly fourteen cents to cover healthcare for his own employees. Let’s repeat that…his own employees. So Papa John is such a cheapskate, he doesn’t even want to protect the very people who made it possible for him to build a 40,000 square foot mansion. Boy, we thought we were misers here at the Bucket, but Papa John is definitely the World’s Stingiest Man.

Because of the stance against the players protesting, Papa John’s has become the ‘official pizza’ of the alt-right. To John Schnatter’s credit, he doesn’t want to be associated with Nazis so he’s had to come out and beg white supremacists not to buy his pizza. Too late Papa John…you’re one of them.

We here at the Bucket think that maybe Papa John’s pizza sales are down because the cardboard box the pizza comes in tastes better than the pizza.

A consumer suggests to Papa John that his sales suck not because of the NFL player protests but because the pizza box tastes better than the pizza and that he's a stingiest man alive.

A savvy consumer enlightens Papa John about the true reasons his pizza sales are lagging.

General Disappointment

When American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump appointed former general John Kelly as Chief of Staff, many breathed a sigh of relief in hoping that maybe the stoic ex-Marine could keep Trump in line. Ahhh! What naivete! John Kelly has proven in recent weeks that he’s not really not that different from Trump and that he’s only another enabler to the orange haired man-child who is our current President.

Take Kelly defending Trump’s recent call to a military widow where he told a grieving widow “he knew what he signed up for”. Kelly not only defended Trump but criticized Representative Frederica Wilson’s criticism of Trump’s wording. Trump’s press secretary,a.k.a. secretary of deception, Sarah Huckabee Sanders even went as far as to say it was inappropriate of Wilson to question Kelly because he was “a four star general”. Well how authoritarian of you Ms. Huckabee Sanders!  Mr. Kelly isn’t in the military anymore. This is a democracy and there is such a thing as freedom of speech and freedom of the press, which is guaranteed by the U.S. constitution. When John Kelly says and does things which are undemocratic and wrong, it is our right as Americans to question him.

Speaking of which…last week, Kelly showed his ignorance on history when he claimed that the Civil War could have been avoided if only the South and North would have been willing to compromise. Like Professor Stephanie McCurry says, “That statement could have been given by [former Confederate general] Jubal Early in 1880”. Well, the North and South did compromise before in 1820 (Missouri Compromise) and the Compromise of 1850 and those compromises only postponed the inevitable. It took a war to rid this nation of the disgusting institution of slavery. But unfortunately, thanks to the botched Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, racism persists today. Unbelievably, we have Confederate revisionists in power in this country who want to return to those glory days of white supremacists, KKK marches and frightened minorities. Mr. Kelly: your authoritarianism and racism are showing and it’s pretty ugly.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, sez if only the slaves would have compromised and agreed to a pay cut,  the Civil War could have been avoided, which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, revises history by claiming failure to compromise caused the Civil War which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.

The Normalization Of Dubya

The Trump presidency has been frightening enough, but another disturbing trend is becoming more frequent since Trump’s election: the normalization of right wing conservatism. For some reason, only Republicans like Bob Corker and super-hypocrite Jeff Flake are heralded for ‘standing up’ to Donald Trump, even though they’ve voted for everything he’s pushed forward.

Now for some reason, some people, including Democrats are willing to forget the horrendous presidency of George W. Bush or at least say he wasn’t all that bad. Are you freaking kidding???!!!! Bush and his cadre royally fucked this country up and now people are embracing him just because Donald Trump is so awful?  Bush even recently gave a resounding well received speech about the evils of Trumpism. That’s right, DUBYA!!!! This is how screwed up this country is! We commented before about how Megyn Kelly has been hired to try and normalize right wing conservatism. We’re seeing it all over the place in the main stream corporate media. Chris Wallace has been presented as a somewhat sane veteran ‘journalist’ now instead of the partisan hack he truly is. If you ask us, you should never trust Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network and you should never praise Dubya as being a font of wisdom. In case you’ve forgotten, he was the worst president since Nixon. He should never be forgiven for the clusterf*ck that was Iraq, the Great Recession, which his policies help create or for his almost completely running this country into the ground with his massive tax cuts for the rich, not to mention gutting environmental regulations and denying climate change like Trump is doing. From 2003-2009, we mocked and ridiculed Dubya and his fellow Republicans for the lies and deception they spewed on the American public and now the Republicans are doing it again, with a different moron in charge.

We came across one of our old photo-toons from 2006, when Dubya got counseling from James Baker through the Iraq Study Group that staying in Iraq was a bad idea. Hell getting into Iraq was an even worse idea. But typical of all conservative Republicans, they will never admit that they made a mistake. To this day, Bush won’t admit that his decision to unilaterally invade Iraq was a mistake, despite the fact that it has brought turmoil to the Middle East likely for the next half century. His trillion dollar debacle destabilized the whole region and gave rise to not only Al-Qaeda infiltrating Iraq, but the rise of ISIS later on during Obama’s presidency. His stubbornness to listen to any other voice other than Republican Neo-cons like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, put this country in the dumper. It was only the political ‘thumping’ the Republicans took in the 2006 election, which brought Democrats back into power that he considered other options about Iraq. And now were seeing another conservative Republican named Donald Trump pulling the same ‘I’m the Decider’ crap that Dubya pulled. The only evolution that is occurring in the Republican party is from having a President who is a moron to one that is a f*cking moron.

The Republican President has evolved from being a childish moron to being a childish f*cking moron.

The Republican President has evolved from being a childish moron to being a childish f*cking moron.

Trump and Pruitt’s EPA: Nothing To See Here Folks

Trump’s EPA, with Scott Pruitt at the helm is the planet’s worst nightmare. We’ve commented before about this climate change denier and complete jackass here and here. This corporate lackey has been single-handedly destroying all the mechanisms in place to keep the coal, gas, oil, mining, logging and polluting industries from running amok and destroying what’s left of our environment. We claim to be a nation of laws. Regulations are laws that corporations have to abide by, just like citizens have to obey civil law. Regulations are an essential check and balance to guarantee that corporations don’t go too far like they did in the twentieth century before the creation of the EPA.

Among the things Pruitt has done recently:

Pruitt and his EPA attacked an AP reporter for reporting about flooded Superfund sites in the Houston area. But apparently journalists are supposed to turn a blind eye, like Republicans do, if there’s any environmental problems. Nothing to see here folks!

Pruitt has gutted water regulations that will allow fracking waste dumping in the Gulf of Mexico. The Gulf is still recovering from the 2010 Deepwater Horizon spill and is now dealing with a new 600,000+ gallon oil spill that the national press doesn’t seem interested in covering because…you know…stock prices might go down. Nothing to see here folks!

Pruitt has issued a directive to curb settlements with outside groups, otherwise known as sue and settle. Showing that he’s a true corporate lackey, this is another attempt by corporations to limit the harm the public can do. On the finance front, look at this week’s vote by Republicans to make it harder for class actions suits against banks and credit card companies. This is because the Republicans care only about their corporate benefactors. They could give a rat’s ass about the consumer protection. Nothing to see here folks!

Pruitt pulls climate change scientists out of a climate change conference because…you know…they might actually show that Pruitt is full of shit. Nothing to see here folks!

Pruitt announces that the EPA will repeal the Clean Power Plan enacted by President Obama. Like other conservative Republicans, they just can’t accept the fact coal is a dying industry and like oil and gas,a thing of the past. It would be much better to invest in clean, renewable energy solutions like wind, solar, hydrogen and biofuels. But again, nothing to see here folks!

Let’s get one thing straight: Scott Pruitt is a lawyer. He knows squat about science. How is it that a lawyer is telling scientists what science is good and what science is bad? He’s got about as much business being head of the EPA as a wolf should be in charge of the hen house. Maybe that’s why he’s increased the security detail around him. He knows he’s being an asshole and he thinks some environmentalist may actually get sick of his shit enough to do something drastic about it. We’ve got a solution Mr. Pruitt: quit being a goddamn dick!!!

Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and friend to polluters everywhere, Scott Pruitt is now attacking the press for reporting potentially dangerous leaks and spills to the general public because the precious energy companies may lose their stock value, which in this country is more important than human lives.

Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and friend to polluters everywhere, Scott Pruitt is now attacking the press for reporting potentially dangerous leaks and spills to the general public because the precious energy companies may lose their stock value, which in this country is more important than human lives.

Hurricane Devastation = God’s Love

The 2017 Atlantic hurricane season has been one for the record books. It has been one of the most active in recorded history and has produced some record breaking hurricanes. Unfortunately, much damage and loss of life accompanies these monstrous storms. They can also shed light on people in power as well.

George W. Bush completely botched the recovery effort for Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and it harmed his presidency irrevocably. The same is happening now with American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s response to the damage from Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. He has gotten pretty much a free pass from corporate media for the responses to Harvey and Irma, but he’s been receiving a lot of bad press with his war of words with San Juan mayor, Carmen Yulín Cruz. His appearance in Puerto Rico where he threw paper towels to the crowd was also quite strange, as he oddly stated that “I was having fun, they were having fun”. But a common thread among all the hurricane responses has been him talking to stricken people and telling them, “Have a good time.”(links here and here) Rex Tillerson was right about one thing, these are the actions of an absolute moron!  Does he go to funerals and tell the grieving family members, “I can’t make it to the wake, but have a good time.” No, he actually tells a grieving widow of a military serviceman that “he knew what he signed up for.” Clueless, absolutely clueless!

Speaking of clueless, then there is the story of Joel Osteen, who perceives himself as Jesus’ very own favorite son; very own fabulously rich son (check out Osteen’s $10 million dollar mansion). Most of America knows of his latency in opening up his gargantuan church for people seeking refuge from the flooding from Hurricane Harvey. But then this numbnuts has the stupidity to say that the hurricane is actually a sign of God’s love. So God must really love humans this year to the tune of $188 billion dollars in damage and 425 lives lost, not to mention all the people injured and lives disrupted or destroyed. The people in Barbuda, Dominica and Puerto Rico have had their islands completely devastated. It will take years for them to recover. Houston is still dealing with toxic waste issues from their leaking Superfund sites. But don’t worry folks; this is all because God loves you. Gee, we wonder what would happen if God hated us.

But of course the most unbelievable thing is that after Osteen uttered his inane words, people still send him money and support his ‘ministries’. These are the same idiotic sheeple that support Trump folks and unfortunately, they’ve got the ears of most Republicans, who unfortunately, control this country.

Holy huckster extraordinaire, Joel Osteen, compassionately lectures a completely devastated hurricane victim that her loss is just proof that God cares and that she should donate handsomely to his church to show appreciation for God's undying love.

Holy huckster extraordinaire, Joel Osteen, compassionately lectures a completely devastated hurricane victim that her loss is just proof that God cares and that she should donate handsomely to his church to show appreciation for God’s undying love.

Take A Knee America

We’re back from our longer than expected respite from TFS(Trump Fatigue Syndrome)…for how long, we don’t know. Under normal circumstances, with a normal President, not that much would have happened in a month. But America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump does more stupid things in a month than most people do in a lifetime. Add to that the incompetence, cowardice, corruption and greed of the Republicans in congress, the invisibility of the Democrats, and the normalization of the right wing by the corporate media and we just don’t have much hope left for this country. We just may fold up our tent and move to a remote island somewhere in the South Pacific, far away from the selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra-materialistic, ultra-competitive assholes who now seem to proliferate and run this country.

We’ve got some posts readied for the hurricane responses, but first we’ll take a look at the ‘feud’ between Trump and the NFL over players taking a knee during the national anthem, which culminated with Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence leaving the stadium during the Colts-49ers game because some of San Francisco’s players kneeled during the national anthem in protest of racial discrimination in America. Trump admitted that this was a planned stunt. Not only that, but the cheap political stunt was at the taxpayers’ expense. We don’t care much for the NFL or any professional sports for that matter. Both the owners and players make WAY too much money and have WAY too much influence on modern culture. But that being said, players have the right to kneel in protest because…THIS IS AMERICA. We have a thing here which separates us from other countries called freedom of speech. The players were kneeling as a way to draw awareness to racial discrimination which still plagues this country. Their protest in no way was to disrespect the flag or those who fought for it. But the poor ‘widdle’ rich guys in the NFL executive front offices and the poor ‘widdle’ rich guys in the Republican party see it as an affront to their authority, which in their puny, narrow minded, conservative mind set is absolute. I mean how dare any one with less money criticize the actions of the people in charge. Of course, they had quite a different opinion during the Obama era.

Well if Trump and Pence are so sensitive to people taking a knee, we wonder what would happen if all of America took a knee during the national anthem. Would they leave the country? Hey, it’s worth a try, folks. We have no doubt, Trump and Pence could crash with their pal Vlad in Russia.

Maybe if all Americans took a knee during the national anthem, easily offended American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his Puritan Vice President Mike Pence would leave the country and stay with their old buddy Vlad Putin in Russia.

Maybe if all Americans took a knee during the national anthem, easily offended American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his Puritan Vice President Mike Pence would leave the country and stay with their old buddy Vlad Putin in Russia.

Phony Feckless Flake

We’ve commented many times before about Arizona’s junior Senator Jeff Flake. Why? Well, we live in Arizona for one thing and it’s our duty and right to comment about our government representatives. We also happen to think he has Mitt Romney-esque used car salesman abilities. He was for and against gun control. He claims to be a champion of the people, and yet continually votes in favor of corporate interests. He claims to be Mr. Bipartisan, but continually votes with along party lines with his Republican colleagues. If you’re looking for a hypocrite of the first order, look no further than Flake.

Flake made a big deal about not endorsing Donald Trump for President. Even now he’s come forward stating that Republicans need to stand up to him. Of course, in true salesman fashion, he’s also plugging his new book, which we will not provide a link to because we have no doubt it’s loaded with self serving bullshit. While stating how against Trump he is, he’s voted for most of Trump’s agenda 95% of the time, including his horrendous health care bill, which didn’t pass because Arizona’s senior Senator (in more ways than one) voted against it. Flake’s behavior is pretty much the actions of a feckless enabler.

To show you how much he’s in step with Trump, here’s a statement by orange haired rage monster’s about rolling back ‘job killing’ regulations for the polluting oil, gas and coal industries:

…We’re going to get real results when it comes to removing job-killing regulations and unleashing economic opportunity

Compare them to a blurb from Flake‘s own newsletter that he mails out to Arizona constituents touting his great actions:

Arizona ratepayers and businesses shouldn’t be forced to shoulder the burden of EPA’s costly, convoluted regulations. By holding EPA accountable for its actions, we can keep our air clean without creating job-killing regulatory uncertainty.

Yes those nasty ‘job-killing regulations’, what an annoyance they are. Why not just get rid of all of them, then industry can dump their waste where ever they want and pollute the air just like China. But the point is made; Trump and Flake are on the same page, just like all the other Republicans. The GOP’s so called opposition to Trump is nothing but bullshit!

It’s no secret that Flake supports corporate America over average Americans. But he is also a big time corporate lackey, like most Republicans are, of the big polluting industries in this country. As a matter of fact, Flake has a career 9% lifetime score on the League of Conservation Voters Environmental Scorecard. So we ask Mr. Flake, what’s the point of repealing ‘job killing’ regulations if those said jobs end up killing people with the resultant pollution and poisonous wastes and by products?

Finally, Trump has launched attacks on Flake because of what he’s said about Trump in his book. Trump has announced support for nutty Teabagger patriot Kelli Ward (known by her moniker ‘Chemtrail Kelli’) in the upcoming 2018 senate race. But again, this is just political theater because Flake has sided with Trump 95% of the time like this article at FactCheck.org states. So now, not only is Flake being attacked by the Democrats, but the radical right wingers in his own party are attacking him as well.

So we implore Arizonans to send Mr. Flake back to his hometown of Snowflake, AZ, which is a truly appropriate place for this Republican to live. We certainly hope the Democrats in Arizona get their act together and put forth a decent candidate to run against this hypocritical used car salesman in 2018.

Dressed in his finest used car salesman ensemble, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake tries to sell people that he's against America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, when actually he has supported nearly everything he's done, to which Arizona voters call him on his hypocrisy and suggest he move back to his hometown of Snowflake, AZ.

Dressed in his finest used car salesman ensemble, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake tries to sell people that he’s against America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, when actually he has supported nearly everything he’s done.

One Fine Nazi

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump gave a ‘rally’ speech Tuesday night here in Phoenix, Arizona which drew thousands of protesters despite the 107 degree heat. Inside the rally, an unhinged Trump ranted about how victimized he was by the press while conveniently forgetting his claim of there being ‘fine Nazis’ and both sides being at fault at Charlottesville. He again blamed everything again on the media because that’s what conservatives do: they never take responsibility for their actions and always blame somebody else because in the conservative mindset, they never make mistakes.

Once again, Trump exaggerated the crowd size just like he did in July 2015 and certainly the local media, which has a strong Republican bias, did their part to build up the crowd size, which thinned out as the night wore on. Trump supporters even posted false photos of the crowd size as real photos and videos showed the room half empty.

We have no doubt in Trump’s media addled mind that when he’s speaking of ‘fine Nazis’, he’s thinking of Sgt. Schultz from the 60s sitcom Hogan’s Heroes. Who knows, Trump may even name Schultz to be the new press secretary.

One fine Nazi, Sergeant Schultz, who 'knows nothing' will make a perfect press secretary for American CEO/Dictator and Nazi sympathizer Donald Trump.

Rumor has it that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, will name ‘one fine Nazi’, Sergeant Schultz, as his new press secretary.

Trump Defies Sun

The big news over the weekend has been the ouster of chief strategist and Neo-Nazi, Steve Bannon, from the White House. There’s speculation from all sides on what this will mean to an already turbulent Trump administration.

But a simple action by Trump today clearly illustrates what Donald Trump is about. Defying all advise, he stared directly at the sun during the solar eclipse because…well…he’s Donald Trump, King of the World. Nothing can defy him, not even a bigger bag of gas. But don’t worry folks. It won’t hurt his eyesight. He’s blind already…to so many things.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump declares that he doesn't fear the sun because he's King of the World, while a curious onlooker notes that he's already blind.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, ever the rebel, defies that tyrant the sun and stares directly at the solar eclipse.