Tag Archive for GOP

Another Blameless, White Plutocrat

The big news last week was the rather weak sentence handed down to former Trump campaign chairman and ostrich suit aficionado, Paul Manafort. Federal guidelines recommend 19-24 years sentences for the kind of crimes Manafort committed.  But T.S. Ellis, a right wing conservative judge seated during the Reagan administration, took pity on Manafort and gave him an ostrich feather light 47 months or one month shy of 4 years. Only 4 years! Talk about your privilege for white plutocrats.

Needless to say, there is some uproar about the lenient sentence with many stating that people who’ve committed far less offensive crimes have gotten far stiffer sentences. But the bitter pill to swallow in all this is that other than his tax crimes, Ellis stated that Manafort lived an ‘otherwise blameless life’. Blameless! Are you freaking kidding!!! This man rubbed elbows with brutal dictators and deflected criticism of their regimes thus amassing millions of dollars. Even Manafort’s daughter said he has no moral compass. There is nothing blameless about him. He and Donald Trump are the epitome of the worst of American greed and the capitalistic lust for power, money and material possessions.

Manafort is up for sentencing this week for his other charges linked to conspiracy and illegal lobbying related to the Mueller investigation. Hopefully, the judge, U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson, will throw the book at this greedy piece of dung and let him rot the rest of his ‘blameless’ life in jail.

United States District Court Judge T.S. Ellis boldly mollycoddles blameless fraudster and ostrich suit aficionado Paul Manafort by finally giving a poor, white plutocrat some justice.

United States District Court Judge T.S. Ellis boldly mollycoddles blameless fraudster and ostrich suit aficionado Paul Manafort by finally giving a poor, white plutocrat some justice.

The Singing Rat

The big news the past week was the explosive testimony given by Michael Cohen, the former personal lawyer and ‘fixer’ for American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump.  In a hearing before the House Oversight committee, the rat Michael Cohen sang like a canary much to the chagrin of the House Republicans like Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows and Paul Gosar, who made absolute asses of themselves during the ‘interrogation’. They never questioned him but chose, in typical Republican fashion, only to assassinate his character, which we’ve all already surmised is abysmal. Even Cohen admitted he was a fool. The GOP logic: “You can’t trust a liar”.  The Republicans are also considerably irony impaired considering Cohen was the RNC’s deputy finance chairman up until eight months ago. Oh yeah…and then there’s the fact that Trump’s lie count is over 9,000.

One colossal buffoon was GOP Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, who said Cohen was testifying against Trump only because he had ‘sour grapes’ for not getting a White House job. Then Jordan pulled another typical Republican prank of trying to twist Cohen’s words, which caused Cohen to reply, “Shame on you, Mr. Jordan.” This is the same Jim Jordan, who kept quiet about alleged sexual abuse at Ohio State. So, Jordan is certainly not someone who should throw stones.

Another mammoth idiot was Arizona’s own Paul Gosar, who embarrassingly resorted to playground taunts of “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” and even had a poster with the same next to him at the hearing to which Cohen responded to Gosar, “Are you referring to me or the President?” Gosar  is famous for having six of his siblings take out an ad to vote against their brother in Arizona’s 4th district election in 2018. The fact that Gosar still won speaks more to the conservative loons in the 4th district who put this nutbag back into office. Maybe Gosar and Trump can retire and hang out at a grade school playground where they can ply their bullying tactics and be undisputed ‘kings’.

So what’s next for Michael Cohen besides much deserved jail time? How about a thrilling crime drama about an everyday goombah for a national criminal organization who turns state evidence against his crooked boss called ‘The Singing Rat’, rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

And Now, For Our Next Fake Emergency…

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, upset that he didn’t get all the money he wanted for his precious, unnecessary border wall, pulled a trick out his authoritarian dictator hat and declared a national emergency for a border crisis that doesn’t exist and which most sane Americans agree is bogus. According the 1975 National Emergencies Act, the president can declare a national emergency, but the specific emergency powers must be outlined and declared first. Some examples of national emergencies declared by other presidents include the 9/11 attacks (under Dubya), the Iran hostage crisis (Carter) or the 2009 H1N1 flu pandemic (Obama). All these seem to be legitimate declarations. But legitimacy doesn’t matter to our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child who pretends to be the President of the United States. He’s drunk with power and he wants to flaunt it like any other dictator in the world. And true to form, feckless Republicans like Lindsey Graham lined up to support Trump.

Fortunately for democracy, a bipartisan group of 58 former national security officials have decided to stand up to Trump and declare that “there is no factual basis” for his emergency. Hopefully, the slew of lawsuits being filed will also stop this nonsense.  If Trump gets away with this, then he will no doubt declare other fake national emergencies as well in the future. We wonder what the next ‘crisis’ declaration will be by Trumpty Dumpty in order to get what he wants.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, declares a national emergency so that the McRib becomes permanent, to which sycophant Lindsey Graham wholeheartedly approves and Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell cowers in his shell.

Spineless sycophant Lindsey Graham fecklessly supports any crisis, real or imagined, that American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, comes up with, while Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell cowers in his shell.

All The Money And Power, No Responsibility

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez(AOC) has made quite a splash in Washington D.C. The freshman congressperson has managed to tick off the stodgy old corporate Democrats and Republicans while invigorating Progressives across the nation. Perhaps her biggest headline so far is her push for a 70% top marginal tax rate. This means that the top earners in this country, people who earn more than $10 million, would pay a 70% tax rate. This has made most conservative Republicans, like the fine folks over at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, apoplectic. Republithugs and plutocrats alike have stepped forward to denounce the ‘socialist’ ideology of AOC. Former Wisconsin governor and derp-monger Scott Walker embarrassed himself by providing an inane example of the tax rate to school children. Billionaire Howard Schultz has stepped forward to proclaim, with a straight face no less, that this would not be good for him. Ahhhhh…poor little rich man!

Even people on the left have criticized AOC. Whoopi Goldberg, co-host on The View, stated that she needs to hush up and pay her dues. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (like the true corporatist she is) has pooh-poohed the Green New Deal that AOC is proposing. Whenever we hear people criticizing this young idealistic woman, we think of the words of David Bowie from his classic song Changes.

And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re goin’ through

We think that the only reason these critics on the left are pissed is that they sold out to corporate or monied interests instead of vigorously pursuing the ideological dreams that AOC pushes. Of course, Hollywood is infamous for people having to ‘pay their dues’.  It takes years, sometimes decades for actors and actresses to become ‘players’, so Ms. Goldberg’s comments shouldn’t surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last fifty years.

The fact is that the 70% top marginal tax rate has been done before very successfully. During the ’50s, the “good ol’ days” as most conservative Republicans would call them, the top marginal tax rate was well above 70% and guess what…prosperity broke out. The interstate highway system was completed. The space program was booted up which kick started numerous industries which employed millions. And it worked because Eisenhower was president and no spoiled, well-to-do corporate plutocrat had the cojones to question the leader of the D-Day invasion. Ike knew what sacrifice meant and he expected all Americans, even the rich, to participate and aid the country. Now the plutocrats and the oligarchs have an entire party, the Republicans, to do their bidding and they’ve managed to steal away the wealth from most of the citizenry of America. The richest 1% owns 40% of this nation’s wealth, the greatest wealth gap in history.

Unfortunately, in doesn’t just stop in America. Because of capitalism, on a world wide scale, just under 50 people have more wealth than the bottom 3.7 billion people in the world. That’s greed, egotism, selfishness, competitiveness and materialism gone amuck in a ‘bigly’ way.

We wish AOC all the best on her Green New Deal crusade and her political career. It’s about time politicians in Washington start giving a damn about our planet and preparing for the future of all species of life. Give ’em hell, AOC!

Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.

Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.

Rewind: Dubya’s 2007 SOTU Speechifying

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump finally gave his State of the Union address this past week after having it postponed due to the shutdown of the government for 35 days  because he wanted his unnecessary border wall. In typical Republican fashion, he pleaded for unity while simultaneously bashing the Democrats for the Russia probe or as Don the Con called it ‘partisan investigations’.

This reminded us of a similar State of the Union address by none other than ol’ Dubya after the GOP got thumped in the 2006 elections because of the Republicans’ disastrous policies during the Bush administration. In that SOTU, Bush trashed the Democrats while all of a sudden supporting things like healthcare and climate change. (For a hilarious breakdown of that 2007 event, watch Jon Stewart’s classic video…belly laughs even after 12 years!).  Of course, all the corporate media, including late night comedians like David Letterman, could focus on was how many times new Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi blinked her eyes. We even made a photo-toon having fun with it, which we’ve rehashed below with our article about Dubya’s speechifying.

But Nancy Pelosi performed very well during this SOTU with her sarcastic clapback. We hope that Ms. Pelosi’s strong attitude toward the Republicans continues. The last thing we need is four more years of the orange haired man child in the White House, which is what happens if the Democrats let the Republicans control the narrative in the media like they’ve done too many times in the past.

It has become crystal clear: the Republicans are no longer the party of Lincoln. They aren’t even the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan. The last two Republican commanders-in-chief, Bush and Trump, have been the worst presidents since World War II and that’s including Nixon, he of the Watergate break-ins who was ‘not a crook’. The GOP is a broken, criminal party and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near government ever again. Like we’ve mentioned before: modern day Republicans don’t want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! And they just proved it with the longest government shutdown in history!

This article is from our January 31, 2007 issue.

Bush Addresses Nation; To ‘Surge’ On Healthcare, Global Warming

At his State of the Union address last week, President Bush touched upon many issues like the war in Iraq, the economy, and two issues that have suddenly become very important for him; healthcare and global warming.

After introducing new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, Bush got down to business. “We’ve got a new Democrat congress so I’ll dumb it down a little bit this year. Heh-heh. People we need to give ‘Surge’ a chance. Now there are some people who think we need to leave Iraq, like the Democrats, the Republicans, the Iraqi Study Group, the Iraqis, a majority of people in the World, and even one of my dogs, Ms. Beazley…the damn bitch. Now I acknowledge their opinion, but since I’m the Decider, we will stay in Iraq whether they like it or not. And we will confront any Iranians which may be trying to influence the Iraqi government. You see, only we can meddle in other country’s affairs. It’s not only in the Constitution but God told me so. Remember, I’m tight with the Big Guy.”

“And speaking of ‘Surge’,” continued Bush. “Did you like my little segue? Pretty cool, huh. Anyhoo, we need to not only ‘Surge’ on our new way forward, we need to ‘Surge’ ahead on the very real threat of global warming. Now I know what you’re all thinking, ‘Who’s going to win that swell Super Bowl game?’ Well folks, I think the best defense is a good offense, which is precisely our strategy in the Middle East. See how everything comes around. Wait a second… my train of thought derailed.” Bush then excused himself, turned and talked to Vice President Cheney, who hit himself in the forehead with his hand and brusquely reprimanded the President while Nancy Pelosi blinked in disbelief.

After a few seconds of confusion, Bush continued his address. “Like I was saying. We need to ‘Surge’ ahead on stopping global warming. That’s why I’m proposing we spend a whopping one thousand dollars to combat this menace. I also propose a New Way Forward Health Plan which will make health insurance affordable to all Americans…with an income over $100,000 a year. The rest of you will just have to work harder. Fortunately, the economy is going like gangbusters. Plus, according to our new federal accountants, who, by the way, did the books over at Enron, we’ve only got a deficit of $250 billion now. By next year it’ll be gone. See tax cuts to the rich do work.”

“I’d like to close by saying, I’m taking the Colts by ten. Oh, I almost forgot. Terror. Terror. Terror. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. God Bless America only!”

Afterwards, the President addressed his many critics. “A lot of people were disappointed that I didn’t mention anything in my speech about New Orleans. Well, I was going to mention them but the Saints lost to the Bears so I lost that reference. Why else would I mention New Orleans? Did something important happen there in the past couple of years that I should know about?”

President Bush gives a warm welcome to members of both parties at the 2007 State of the Union address. Vice President Cheney and new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, react in the background.

President Bush gives a warm welcome to members of both parties at the 2007 State of the Union address. Vice President Cheney and new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, react in the background.

Stoney The Pinhead

Roger Stone has been plastered all over the news lately as the FBI raided his house last week and arrested the Trump crony and confidant in connection with lying about pursuing Russian hacked emails related with Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. Predictably, now Stone has been making the rounds whining about what a victim he is. A judge has even suggested a gag order to shut him up.

Stone is one weird, weird individual. He describes himself as an ‘agent provocateur’If anybody calls themselves an ‘agent provocateur’, run; run away fast – because that person is a colossal douchebag. Stone also has a tattoo of one of the most corrupt politicians of all time, Richard Nixon, on his back. Because of his admiration of Nixon, he proudly calls himself a ‘dirty trickster’, which may now get him in hot water with the Mueller investigation. Many jokes have been made about his attire, which transform him into some bizarre steampunk Batman villain.

But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Let Them Get A Loan

Wow! Is Wilbur Ross clueless or what?! We’ve commented before about the Secretary of Commerce’s absolute lack of knowledge about foreign countries like Saudi Arabia. But this inane plutocrat showed off a stunning lack of empathy or insight into the plight of the average American, many who are living paycheck to paycheck. As the Trump government shutdown has dragged on for over a month, many federal employees were working for free! Some were having difficulties paying their mortgages, bills or even feeding their families.

Enter Wilbur Ross, spoiled plutocrat. Last week during the Trump government shutdown, Wilbuuuuurrr noted that instead of standing in line for food, federal workers ought to suck it up and go get a nice low interest loan while their not getting their paychecks. What sound financial advice! That’s right, poor person. Go try and get a loan that you probably can’t get because you’re already in debt up to your eyeballs. While you’re at it, maybe  get a loan for a yacht or maybe even by that dream cottage in the Hamptons. What a compassionate conservative!

This was Wilbuuuuurrr’s ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ moment and we think good ol’ Mr. Ed would probably be able to explain it best to this insipid, uncaring, out of touch bonehead of a plutocrat.

Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and 'compassionate' conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump's government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.

Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and ‘compassionate’ conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump’s government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.

Turtle Boy’s Disappearing Act

Senate Majority Leader and mutant Turtle Boy, Mitch McConnell, has once again pulled his patented disappearing act during the current record setting Trump government shutdown, which is coming up on the one month mark. We’ve remarked before on Turtle Boy’s uncanny ability to avoid responsibility when news first emerged about Russia’s involvement with the Trump campaign in December 2016. And who can forget after the 2012 election, the talks to avoid the dreaded fiscal cliff. We usually don’t like to repeat photo-toons, but when we got one that works, we stick with it.

McConnell refuses to act as a leader of the Senate and stand up to Trump. He has twice blocked votes against ending the shutdown. Apparently Turtle Boy doesn’t care about the government workers scraping by to pay their mortgages (or food) and working for free because hey…it ain’t hurting him. What a compassionate conservative! He’s also up for re-election in 2020 and since Trump is more popular than he is in Kentucky, he has courageously disappeared and decided not to rock the boat. Way to go, Turtle Boy!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, boldly performs his patented turtle act to avoid any responsibility for ending the record setting Trump government shutdown.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, boldly performs his patented turtle act to avoid any responsibility for ending the record setting Trump government shutdown.

Hamberder Heaven

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, recently make a big deal that the Clemson national championship football team was making a visit to the White House. So did billionaire Trump break out the bucks to entertain these athletic lads with a fine dining experience? In true Trumpian fashion, he treated them to piles and piles of hamburgers and other junk foods from fast food chains. We guess he just assumed that since he loves this crap, everybody else must do it as well.

Trump also glaringly lied about the numbers served saying one time 300 hamburgers were served. Then he tweeted hilariously that a 1000 ‘hamberders’ were served.  So if Trump isn’t lying, he’s misspelling…hugely. There’s that old adage that says “You are what you eat.” Well apparently, Trump is a pile of junk food.

America's CEO/Dictator and junk food and 'hamberder' aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

America’s CEO/Dictator and junk food and ‘hamberder’ aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

The New Flake In Town

The new members of the Senate and House have been sworn in and with it an old familiar face is back on the American scene. Utah’s ‘new’ Senator replacing useless, senile fossil, Orrin Hatch, is none other than Spiff Romney, 2012 GOP presidential candidate and used car salesman extraordinaire. The Spiffster dominated our Conathon 2012 coverage with his gleaming white Pepsodent smile and promises to serve the people, and by people we of course mean corporations.

Romney appears to be taking up the mantle of his departed fellow Mormon, Arizona’s own Jeff Flake, in that he immediately wrote a ‘scathing’ article critical of Donald Trump. Really???!!! Even Trump saw through that one, calling Spiff the new Flake in one of his temper tantrum tweets. It didn’t take long for Romney to show what a feckless adversary he would be by remaining mum on of the current border wall bullshit.

As if on cue, the corporate media announced that Romney and Nebraska’s Ben ‘Sassy Boy’ Sasse are the GOP’s new ‘mavericks’.  Really???!!! And people still think the corporate media is liberal in bias? Only conservative entities would brand these two stick in the muds as ‘mavericks’. So we’re wagering that in the next two years both Romney and Sasse will be promoted as ‘sane’ alternatives when the S.S. Trump eventually sinks and corporations are looking for new lackeys to promote the Republican, plutocrat and corporate media mantra of ‘tax cuts for the rich, screw all others’. Ahhhh! The capitalism con game continues!

Former GOP candidate and new feckless Senator, Spiff Romney, proclaims himself to be the new Jeff Flake who will bloviate against and then boldly cave in to every demand of America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Former GOP candidate and new feckless Senator, Spiff Romney, proclaims himself to be the new Jeff Flake who will bloviate against and then boldly cave in to every demand of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.