Tag Archive for sheeple

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.
Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Nobody Knows The Trouble Trump’s Seen

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been impeached by the Democratic controlled House of Representatives and the Republicans are in full, whiny, crybaby persecution mode. They’ve done everything from having a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Trump in 2016 (what about the 66 million who voted for Clinton or the 8 million who voted for third party candidates!) to one GOP congressman from Georgia actually comparing Trump’s impeachment to the trials and tribulations of Jesus. Jesus Christ!!! What a load of malarkey!!!!

We’ve droned on forever about how hypocritical the evangelical, conservative christian sheeple are for supporting Trump but this takes the cake. At least one christian magazine has come forward and openly supports impeaching the orange-haired megalomaniac. Maybe, just maybe, this will start a backlash that will start christians waking up and realizing that Trump is nothing more than a golden calf. Yeah right!!! But hey, it’s the supposedly ‘magical’ holiday season – we can dream can’t we!

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.

The Trump Memorial

As the impeachment investigation rolls on, a disturbing piece of news bubbled to the top of the news cycle last week, (as if the last three years haven’t been disturbing enough). Apparently, in a recent poll, over 50% of Republicans perceive that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is a better president than the very first Republican president Abraham Lincoln, who most historians rank as the best president in the history of the United States. This is clear evidence that the conservative Republicans enabling and propping up Trump, especially the evangelical sheeple, are indeed cult-like in their devotion of this modern day golden calf and are seriously deranged. We’ll put this in a simple, blunt, concise statement. There’s no f*cking way Trump is even close to being better than Lincoln!!! Are you f*cking kidding!!!

We think it’s interesting to note that when Trump began his clusterf*ck of a presidency, he proclaimed himself to be like Andrew Jackson. Lincoln’s predecessor, James Buchanan, who served as Jackson’s ambassador to Russia in 1831, also idolized Jackson as a strong chief executive when he won the presidency in 1856. But Buchanan ended up being the worst president in this nation’s history and his incompetent actions, or inactions, led to a bloody Civil War which tore this nation apart for four years with repercussions that lasted well into the 20th century. Trump’s actions have also greatly divided this nation and has made the United States a laughingstock of the world. But the always egotistical Trump has openly suggested another Civil War if he is impeached and many of his armed, pliant supporters are ready to take action. So Trump is much closer to being like James Buchanan, the worst, than Abraham Lincoln, the best.

The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

Religion: Humanity’s Security Blanket

If you’ve read any post or articles on this site, you know that we’re atheists. Our world view is solidly connected to a 21st century database of logic, reason and scientific knowledge obtained by thorough scientific methods and inquiry. Adherents to religion on the other hand, seem solidly connected to 1st century, 6th century or x century databases that may have made sense in those antiquated times, but given our advanced knowledge of the universe surrounding us, are now woefully obsolete.

Proponents of religion also claim that only they have the answers to life’s questions. Inevitably it boils to certain individuals in the upper echelons of the religious organizations who want to completely control their adherents or sheeple. History has many examples of bloody wars between adherents of one ‘faith’ disagreeing with followers of another leaving nothing but death and scorched earth behind. Many religions state that God made man in his image and that God created the Earth with man as ruler over all other animals. This directly conflicts with scientific evidence uncovered in the last three hundred years which concludes that man created God (or Odin or Zeus or Iron Man. . .pick you favorite fictitious deity) in his image and has used God and capitalism to commandeer and take control of the planet for fun and profit. Even the authoritarian dictator Napoleon commented that “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” That’s why there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing out there making a killing off of the gullible sheeple. There’s also a link between religion and vaccine refusal. So people are dying unnecessarily because the religious leaders are telling their flock to trust prayer (basically thinking good thoughts) over science.

We would think that modern day humans would see religion for what it is: a bloody, soiled security blanket to give us a warm fuzzy about capitalistic, materialistic life on this planet. All you really need to live an ethical and moral life is adherence to the golden rule or the law of reciprocity, which predates christianity or any other modern religions. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. You don’t need to tithe or give money to evangelical preachers so they can buy private jets to spread the gospel or ‘talk to God’. Just be kind and respect your fellow human beings and like Jesus (who was a human being, not a god) taught, share with others and help them when you can. Most major religions have this in their dogma. We’ll even go a step further and say respect animals and nature. The fact that so many evangelical rapture enthusiasts are salivating for complete destruction of the Earth, should be proof that they are insane. Why would anyone who loved God want to ruin his ‘ultimate creation’? And how can conservatives be against conservation? Given the knowledge we’ve obtained about the universe in the last three hundred years, the most important thing a human can do is maintain and preserve life on Earth. There is no planet B, folks. Since we’ve taken over the planet, it is up to us to preserve the life on it.

We’ve talked before that the best spaceship is our own planet. We need to stop being greedy materialists and live within our means. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “Simplify, Simplify”. We need to listen to modern day scientists. They know what they’re talking about. We need to attenuate our consumption and more importantly reduce the human population using the ethical means of birth control and contraception. By doing this, we can lessen our carbon footprint, decrease our pollution and in general, return the planet to a healthy equilibrium. Ridding ourselves of the antiquated dogmas of religion and embracing environmental science will also go a long way to preserving all life on planet Earth.

Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.
Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.

Christians: The Original Sheeple

One of the most astonishing thing about Trump supporters that is unbelievably and stupefyingly mind boggling is that many of them are in fact, evangelical christians. Some are even speaking in tongues to protect Donald Trump. We’ve commented ad infinitum about their willingness to follow not just Trump but George W. Bush or any Republican leader who claims to love God, since the days of Dubya’s craptastic administration, which is basically since we started online back in 2003 (or aught three as old fart staff member, Chester Einstein, puts it). How can people who worship Jesus as their lord and savior support someone who represents the exact opposite of the person Jesus taught us to be?

Well, you can thank their teachers, pastors, priests and leaders for brainwashing them from day one to believe everything they say and that anybody who says otherwise is an agent of Satan. We’re atheists here at the Bucket, but we do abide by the golden rule, which pre-dates christianity. We were brought up in an religious environment, so we know from whence we speak. The organized christian religions are very authoritarian in nature; just look at the catholic church. The pope is considered to be infallible. That means he is never wrong and if you even suggest that he could be wrong, then you will face the consequences of excommunication or damnation in that mythical place of pain and suffering, hell. Dex Rexter, BilgeBucket editor, remembers very well the nuns searing into his young, malleable catholic brain to never, never, NEVER be a doubting Thomas or Jesus will be very upset with you and cast you into the pit of hell for all eternity. Fear is used as a weapon from day one on people in organized religious environments and used quite effectively. Just look at the art work of Hieronymous Bosch from the fifteenth century. Do what the preacher says and you’ll get to go to heaven; disobey and go to hell and get poked by demons with pitchforks. Of course, in reality, heaven and hell don’t exist. But this use of fear by religious authoritarians is the same methodology employers in corporate America get their employees to do whatever they want. They dangle that golden carrot telling their subordinates that if they work extra hard they’ll be rewarded with riches beyond their dreams, knowing full well that when the employee inevitably burns out or outlives their usefulness, they’ll be fired. Just ask the employees of Enron, Carrier or any of the other shit load of companies who’ve screwed their employees and consumers to augment the coffers of the top executives.

Another thing that is astonishingly aggravating is that many christians are anti-science and actually call critical thinking, logical and rational people who accept the truth of such things as climate change or evolution, sheeple. Really!? How ironic! Christians are the original sheeple! It’s even built into the dogma. Every christian is forced to pray the mantra “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” or think for that matter. The metaphor of Jesus as the shepherd and everyone else as the sheep is everywhere in the christian faith. That is why the congregation must do what the pastor, priest or minister tells them to do, like vote for Trump, because the self acclaimed holy me are tighter with God than the average commoner. That’s how these prosperity gospel charlatans get away with their crap and the people’s money for materialistic wealth that Jesus taught against.

Make no mistake; the Republicans have exactly who they want in the Oval Office, that is why they are sitting on their keisters why all chaos descends on the White House and this country. Trump is the ultimate CEO; the exemplary authoritarian who barks out orders and condemns those who dissent. We ask the christian sheeple to wake up and realize that this wolf in sheep’s clothing, this golden calf, is nothing like Jesus, who preached the golden rule, to have tolerance and respect for others even if they were different and to eschew greed and materialistic wealth and to take care each other.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

The Hypocritical Mulligan

We’ve commented ad infinitum over the last ten years about the unbelievable hypocrisy of the evangelical christians in this country. Well that hypocrisy was on full display last week when Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, stated that Donald Trump should get a mulligan for paying hooker Stormy Daniels hush money about an illicit rendezvous in 2006, when Trump’s wife Melania was recovering after giving birth to their son Barron.  The evangelicals had a cow when Bill Clinton had a affair, but when Donald Trump had one just after his son was born, they just turned their sanctimonious heads and look the other way. Wow! What a horde of HYPOCRITES!

And unfortunately the evangelicals will probably never be convinced on what a slime bucket Trump is. Millions of evangelicals “believe the election of President Trump represented God giving us(christians) another chance.” The Young Turks gave a thoughtful and frightening analysis of this, stating that because the ‘faithful’ believe God wanted Trump to be President and God is never wrong, the sheeple must therefore support Trump come hell or the apocalypse. So just like Donald Trump predicted on the campaign trail, he could probably murder somebody in cold blood and the sheeple would still support him. And people wonder why we’re anti-religion atheists here at the Bucket; when you can’t think critically about your leaders, or anything for that matter, you’re putting not only the entire country at risk, but with man-child Donald Trump in the White House, the entire planet.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, defends American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, for paying hush money to a hooker because who among us hasn't like that wild night in Jericho with Mary Magdalene.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, defends American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, for paying hush money to a hooker because hey…you know…who hasn’t.

The Tragedy Of Clogged Prayer Lines

Pope Francis made Mother Teresa a saint this past week so now the catholic sheeple have yet another semi-deity to whom they can pray. Yay!

In honor of this nonsense, here’s another golden oldie article from our archives covering the tragedy that occurs when prayer lines get clogged. Oh the horror! The horror!

This is from our April 10, 2005 issue.

Prayer Lines Clogged For Schiavo, Pope

A crisis occurred last week in heaven when billions of people across the globe simultaneously prayed for Terri Schiavo and Pope John Paul II causing ancient prayer lines to temporarily clog, preventing many prayers from getting through to intended saints, angels, and deities.

Lead prayer center agent, Saint Sixtus said, “Jesus Christ, what a mess! Oops did I just use the Lord’s name in vain. Well, I’m sorry J.C! We’ve really got to update our technology here. I mean we might have been able to keep Terri Schiavo alive for a few more days if those prayers hadn’t been lost. Boy, St. Paul really chewed my butt out for that one.”

President Bush spoke on behalf of Jesus Christ. “People, we’re going to need to update these old prayer lines. I mean don’t you hate it when you pray for something and don’t get it? It hasn’t happened to me lately, but it’s still annoying. Why I was talking to God just this morning, and the connection was all garbled. I could have sworn he said to invade Iran. Now I can’t take chance on orders from the Big Guy, so I guess we’re going to have to invade Iran. The bottom line is, if we don’t help streamline prayer technology those terrorists prayers to Allah will get through quicker and then who knows what will happen. Fear, fear, fear! Terror, terror, terror!”

Reverend Eugene Bilkwell of the Fourth Evangelical Church of Latham, Louisiana said, “I’ve been predicting this for years. My brethren, we need to upgrade to PT1 or PT3 lines as soon as possible. This technology offers wider bandwidth so Christian prayers get through quicker than Muslim, Hindu or Jewish prayers and they have less of chance of getting dropped. But it’s going to take money folks and lots of it. So be sure and give generously to your church each and every week. We’ll make sure it gets to the right people in heaven. Remember – we’ve got better connections with the Man Upstairs because we’re holier than you disgusting, degenerate sinners.”

All signs seem to indicate the panic has subsided. Saint Sixtus said, “Well everything has calmed down for now. We were hitting spikes for the Michael Jackson trial, but traffic seems to have dropped off precipitously. Yeesh! I ain’t voting for that guy to get in here. But those crappy old Seraphim 1000 lines, that are as old as Methuselah, aren’t going to hold much longer, especially if Bush invades Iran. It’s going to be the apocalypse!” After a short pause, a perplexed Saint Sixtus remarked, “Are you sure this Bush guy is in good with Jesus? Because he really seems like a bonehead to me.”

The Prankin’ Pope

Pope Francis has become a very popular pope among the world’s catholics and non-catholics alike. Since he’s become pope he’s come out with some pretty bold, controversial statements criticizing capitalism, supporting evolution, supporting the big bang, acknowledging gay rights and stating that climate change is real. It’s gotten such that even tea party darling Sarah Palin has commented how liberal the pope has sounded. (Wow, imagine that…a pope acting liberal, just like Jesus!)

We here at the Bucket are atheists and while we give Papa Francisco some props for his views on capitalism and his ‘evolution’ on scientific matters, we think he’s still way off on many issues such as women’s rights, birth control and of course, the whole God thing. But what annoys us the most isn’t the pope; it’s about the majority of humans, not only in this country but worldwide. Scientists have been touting evolution, the big bang, climate change and other scientific discoveries and facts  for years and nobody listens. Scientists base their findings on solid data and evidence gathered over many years using the scientific method and religious people reply to this with an ‘oh I’m skeptical’ reply, ignoring the implausibility of their own ‘beliefs’. And yet Papa Francisco, who knows far less about science than your average scientist, comes out and says climate change and evolution are real, and suddenly, all the sheeple say, ‘Oh maybe there is something to this.’ So humanity won’t listen to people who actually know something about how the universe works but they’ll listen to somebody like the pope, who in our opinion, knows little about how the universe functions. Hmmm, could that be why the world is in such a colossal mess?

But wouldn’t it be funny if Papa Francisco’s next bombshell for the sheeple was that the whole God thing was… a prank. Move over Ashton Kutcher; we’ve got a new Punk Master!

Pope Francis states that there's no God and that the sheeple have been pranked for the last two thousand years for fun and profit.

Pope Francis reveals his latest bombshell to his pliant, unquestioning flock.