And Now, For Our Next Fake Emergency…

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, upset that he didn’t get all the money he wanted for his precious, unnecessary border wall, pulled a trick out his authoritarian dictator hat and declared a national emergency for a border crisis that doesn’t exist and which most sane Americans agree is bogus. According the 1975 National Emergencies Act, the president can declare a national emergency, but the specific emergency powers must be outlined and declared first. Some examples of national emergencies declared by other presidents include the 9/11 attacks (under Dubya), the Iran hostage crisis (Carter) or the 2009 H1N1 flu pandemic (Obama). All these seem to be legitimate declarations. But legitimacy doesn’t matter to our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child who pretends to be the President of the United States. He’s drunk with power and he wants to flaunt it like any other dictator in the world. And true to form, feckless Republicans like Lindsey Graham lined up to support Trump.

Fortunately for democracy, a bipartisan group of 58 former national security officials have decided to stand up to Trump and declare that “there is no factual basis” for his emergency. Hopefully, the slew of lawsuits being filed will also stop this nonsense.  If Trump gets away with this, then he will no doubt declare other fake national emergencies as well in the future. We wonder what the next ‘crisis’ declaration will be by Trumpty Dumpty in order to get what he wants.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, declares a national emergency so that the McRib becomes permanent, to which sycophant Lindsey Graham wholeheartedly approves and Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell cowers in his shell.
Spineless sycophant Lindsey Graham fecklessly supports any crisis, real or imagined, that American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, comes up with, while Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell cowers in his shell.

All The Money And Power, No Responsibility

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez(AOC) has made quite a splash in Washington D.C. The freshman congressperson has managed to tick off the stodgy old corporate Democrats and Republicans while invigorating Progressives across the nation. Perhaps her biggest headline so far is her push for a 70% top marginal tax rate. This means that the top earners in this country, people who earn more than $10 million, would pay a 70% tax rate. This has made most conservative Republicans, like the fine folks over at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, apoplectic. Republithugs and plutocrats alike have stepped forward to denounce the ‘socialist’ ideology of AOC. Former Wisconsin governor and derp-monger Scott Walker embarrassed himself by providing an inane example of the tax rate to school children. Billionaire Howard Schultz has stepped forward to proclaim, with a straight face no less, that this would not be good for him. Ahhhhh…poor little rich man!

Even people on the left have criticized AOC. Whoopi Goldberg, co-host on The View, stated that she needs to hush up and pay her dues. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (like the true corporatist she is) has pooh-poohed the Green New Deal that AOC is proposing. Whenever we hear people criticizing this young idealistic woman, we think of the words of David Bowie from his classic song Changes.

And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re goin’ through

We think that the only reason these critics on the left are pissed is that they sold out to corporate or monied interests instead of vigorously pursuing the ideological dreams that AOC pushes. Of course, Hollywood is infamous for people having to ‘pay their dues’.  It takes years, sometimes decades for actors and actresses to become ‘players’, so Ms. Goldberg’s comments shouldn’t surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last fifty years.

The fact is that the 70% top marginal tax rate has been done before very successfully. During the ’50s, the “good ol’ days” as most conservative Republicans would call them, the top marginal tax rate was well above 70% and guess what…prosperity broke out. The interstate highway system was completed. The space program was booted up which kick started numerous industries which employed millions. And it worked because Eisenhower was president and no spoiled, well-to-do corporate plutocrat had the cojones to question the leader of the D-Day invasion. Ike knew what sacrifice meant and he expected all Americans, even the rich, to participate and aid the country. Now the plutocrats and the oligarchs have an entire party, the Republicans, to do their bidding and they’ve managed to steal away the wealth from most of the citizenry of America. The richest 1% owns 40% of this nation’s wealth, the greatest wealth gap in history.

Unfortunately, in doesn’t just stop in America. Because of capitalism, on a world wide scale, just under 50 people have more wealth than the bottom 3.7 billion people in the world. That’s greed, egotism, selfishness, competitiveness and materialism gone amuck in a ‘bigly’ way.

We wish AOC all the best on her Green New Deal crusade and her political career. It’s about time politicians in Washington start giving a damn about our planet and preparing for the future of all species of life. Give ’em hell, AOC!

Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.
Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.

Rewind: Dubya’s 2007 SOTU Speechifying

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump finally gave his State of the Union address this past week after having it postponed due to the shutdown of the government for 35 days  because he wanted his unnecessary border wall. In typical Republican fashion, he pleaded for unity while simultaneously bashing the Democrats for the Russia probe or as Don the Con called it ‘partisan investigations’.

This reminded us of a similar State of the Union address by none other than ol’ Dubya after the GOP got thumped in the 2006 elections because of the Republicans’ disastrous policies during the Bush administration. In that SOTU, Bush trashed the Democrats while all of a sudden supporting things like healthcare and climate change. (For a hilarious breakdown of that 2007 event, watch Jon Stewart’s classic video…belly laughs even after 12 years!).  Of course, all the corporate media, including late night comedians like David Letterman, could focus on was how many times new Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi blinked her eyes. We even made a photo-toon having fun with it, which we’ve rehashed below with our article about Dubya’s speechifying.

But Nancy Pelosi performed very well during this SOTU with her sarcastic clapback. We hope that Ms. Pelosi’s strong attitude toward the Republicans continues. The last thing we need is four more years of the orange haired man child in the White House, which is what happens if the Democrats let the Republicans control the narrative in the media like they’ve done too many times in the past.

It has become crystal clear: the Republicans are no longer the party of Lincoln. They aren’t even the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan. The last two Republican commanders-in-chief, Bush and Trump, have been the worst presidents since World War II and that’s including Nixon, he of the Watergate break-ins who was ‘not a crook’. The GOP is a broken, criminal party and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near government ever again. Like we’ve mentioned before: modern day Republicans don’t want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! And they just proved it with the longest government shutdown in history!

This article is from our January 31, 2007 issue.

Bush Addresses Nation; To ‘Surge’ On Healthcare, Global Warming

At his State of the Union address last week, President Bush touched upon many issues like the war in Iraq, the economy, and two issues that have suddenly become very important for him; healthcare and global warming.

After introducing new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, Bush got down to business. “We’ve got a new Democrat congress so I’ll dumb it down a little bit this year. Heh-heh. People we need to give ‘Surge’ a chance. Now there are some people who think we need to leave Iraq, like the Democrats, the Republicans, the Iraqi Study Group, the Iraqis, a majority of people in the World, and even one of my dogs, Ms. Beazley…the damn bitch. Now I acknowledge their opinion, but since I’m the Decider, we will stay in Iraq whether they like it or not. And we will confront any Iranians which may be trying to influence the Iraqi government. You see, only we can meddle in other country’s affairs. It’s not only in the Constitution but God told me so. Remember, I’m tight with the Big Guy.”

“And speaking of ‘Surge’,” continued Bush. “Did you like my little segue? Pretty cool, huh. Anyhoo, we need to not only ‘Surge’ on our new way forward, we need to ‘Surge’ ahead on the very real threat of global warming. Now I know what you’re all thinking, ‘Who’s going to win that swell Super Bowl game?’ Well folks, I think the best defense is a good offense, which is precisely our strategy in the Middle East. See how everything comes around. Wait a second… my train of thought derailed.” Bush then excused himself, turned and talked to Vice President Cheney, who hit himself in the forehead with his hand and brusquely reprimanded the President while Nancy Pelosi blinked in disbelief.

After a few seconds of confusion, Bush continued his address. “Like I was saying. We need to ‘Surge’ ahead on stopping global warming. That’s why I’m proposing we spend a whopping one thousand dollars to combat this menace. I also propose a New Way Forward Health Plan which will make health insurance affordable to all Americans…with an income over $100,000 a year. The rest of you will just have to work harder. Fortunately, the economy is going like gangbusters. Plus, according to our new federal accountants, who, by the way, did the books over at Enron, we’ve only got a deficit of $250 billion now. By next year it’ll be gone. See tax cuts to the rich do work.”

“I’d like to close by saying, I’m taking the Colts by ten. Oh, I almost forgot. Terror. Terror. Terror. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. God Bless America only!”

Afterwards, the President addressed his many critics. “A lot of people were disappointed that I didn’t mention anything in my speech about New Orleans. Well, I was going to mention them but the Saints lost to the Bears so I lost that reference. Why else would I mention New Orleans? Did something important happen there in the past couple of years that I should know about?”

President Bush gives a warm welcome to members of both parties at the 2007 State of the Union address. Vice President Cheney and new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, react in the background.
President Bush gives a warm welcome to members of both parties at the 2007 State of the Union address. Vice President Cheney and new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, react in the background.

Stoney The Pinhead

Roger Stone has been plastered all over the news lately as the FBI raided his house last week and arrested the Trump crony and confidant in connection with lying about pursuing Russian hacked emails related with Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. Predictably, now Stone has been making the rounds whining about what a victim he is. A judge has even suggested a gag order to shut him up.

Stone is one weird, weird individual. He describes himself as an ‘agent provocateur’If anybody calls themselves an ‘agent provocateur’, run; run away fast – because that person is a colossal douchebag. Stone also has a tattoo of one of the most corrupt politicians of all time, Richard Nixon, on his back. Because of his admiration of Nixon, he proudly calls himself a ‘dirty trickster’, which may now get him in hot water with the Mueller investigation. Many jokes have been made about his attire, which transform him into some bizarre steampunk Batman villain.

But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.
Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.