Archive for Redneck Wisdom

Onward Christian Thugs

America’s CEO/Dictator has returned from his first trip abroad and it turns out that with the exception of authoritarian Saudi Arabia, Russia and perhaps Israel, the rest of the world despises the orange haired, megalomaniac rage monster as much as we do.

But despite the ongoing investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia, his base supporters are still trumpeting his greatness. In an eerie parallel to the militias which rose up with the right wing National Socialist Party in 1930’s Germany, there appears to be a rise in right wing thuggery in American, seemingly as a response to the growing likelihood of some kind of legal action against Trump. There’s the GOPer in Texas threatening to shoot their colleagues, in ‘self defense’ of course. There’s a Republican in Oregon suggesting that white supremacists militias need to form to protect Republicans in the wake of the murderous rampage of a lunatic right winger in Portland.

But probably the oddest endorsement of thuggery was from evangelical preacher David Daubenmire, who proudly proclaimed that all christians should show some of that famous christian love of Jesus and start bashing some skulls. They’ll know we are christians by our love, indeed.

Could it be that the Republicans would endorse the formation of militias to defend Trump? Some Trump supporters look like they’re going to support their supreme leader to the bitter end, just like certain right wing conservatives did in Germany in the 30s and 40s and we know that did not end well.

Some members of the redneck intelligentsia discuss healthcare, golf and the possibility of hanging with their illustrious leader at his exclusive resort.

Some members of the redneck intelligentsia discuss healthcare, golf and the possibility of hanging with their illustrious leader at his exclusive resort.

If It Sounds Muslimy, Bomb It

From the unfrickingbelievable file…

In the wake of the recent Republican debate for the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016, where frontrunners Ted Cruz and Donald Trump announced proudly that they would carpet bomb ISIS in Syria, a poll conducted by the Public Policy Polling (PPP) found that 30% of Republicans and 41% of Donald Trump supporters were in favor of the United States magic carpet bombing the city of Agrabah. The only problem is that the city of Agrabah is the fictional city in Disney’s film Aladdin. But as evident in the last twenty years, facts and reality don’t matter to today’s right wing, teabagging, conservative, christian Republican. Their motto; if it sounds muslimy, bomb it!

Reneck Republican voters and Trump supporters say if it sounds muslimy, then bomb it.

Some red state Republican voters intellectually discuss the necessity of carpet bombing the very muslimy sounding city of Agrabah.

Ebola Is Coming! Ebola is Coming?

Remember those halcyon days before the election when the Republicans and, not coincidentally, the supposedly ‘liberal’ media were blathering on and on about how immigrant children were amassing at the border ready to flow into America and take everyone’s jobs; and ISIS was amassing at the border ready to take hostages and behead Americans; and of course the biggest threat of all, the Ebola virus was amassing at the border ready to infect Americans and cause a hideous and painful death. Not surprisingly, these fear tactics worked like gangbusters on the American sheeple. Lo and behold, Congress and the Senate are now filled with Republicans. Nowadays, there’s rarely mention of these menacing invaders ready to take freedom from every American. Surely, Ebola will resurface next year, when the Republicans need to scare the public into voting for Jeb Bush or whoever the Republican Presidential candidate is.

Rednecks discuss how Republicans scared away the Ebola virus and will now make everyone rich.

Some red state Republican voters discuss the brilliance of the GOP fearmongering campaign during the 2014 election, which not only scared away the Ebola virus but will certainly make everyone rich.

 

Some Elephants Do Forget

From the “You’ve Got to be Kidding” file…According to a recent poll, apparently almost 30% of Louisiana Republicans think that Obama was responsible for the horrendous response by FEMA to Hurricane Katrina in 2005 despite being almost 3 and 1/2 years before Obama even came into office. And almost 45% aren’t sure whose fault it is. Only 28% thought Bush was responsible for the lousy response. It appears that certain members of the GOP species (elephantus redneckius) have a truly serious memory problem. Unfortunately, it also appears that Obama has officially replaced Bill Clinton as the new Republican scapegoat for all the woes in the world.

A couple of Louisiana Republicans kick back and have an intellectual discussion about American history as they see it.

 

 

The Trump Revolution

We mentioned in a previous post about Donald Trump’s asinine tweets early on election night when Spiff Romney had more popular votes than President Obama. Really? Donald Trump leading a revolution? We think it would go something like this photo-toon.

Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.

Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaires

Author John Steinbeck famously observed that “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” We think this insightful comment best explains why anybody in the United States would vote for putting Republicans back in charge of the country after eight disastrous years of Bushonomics (tax cuts for the rich, spend the country into bankruptcy and the middle class foots the bill). Oh, that’s right. Spiff Romney is rich and he’ll make us all rich, too. Ah, the trickle down myth lives on!

A couple of temporarily embarrassed millionaires contemplate their march to grandeur under a Spiff Romney presidency.

PatrioTrend’s Gun Toting Inflatible Jesus

Here’s a SKYMart product just in time for the holidays. Get it for that Jesus loving, gun waving, patriotic Teabagger in your life.

What’s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell…all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That’s why we’re teaming with SKYMart, America’s favorite in-flight crap merchant shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!

Just in time for the holidays...Nothing says Merry Christmas America more than this house size inflatable Jesus who is toting an AK-47 and wearing an American flag lapel pin. Prove how much you love America and hate the terrorists by buying the biggest inflatable on the block. As we all know, bigger is better, especially in America. This large, inflatable savior means business and will put the fear of God into all those secular humanists and atheists. Inflate with hot air only. From the leader in trendy, exploitative, expensive, patriotic goods, PatrioTrends. Sale Price: only $12,250.