Tag Archive for evangelical

The Golden Calf Still Bleats

America’s twice impeached former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump, a.k.a. TFG, is still bleating to his MAGA Moron followers how persecuted he is with some of his sheeple touting him as the new Jesus. We delivered a post back on April Fool’s Day in 2017 which pretty much sums up what Donald Trump is.

Since nothing has changed about this charlatan since then, our analysis still applies: If you make under 100k a year and you vote Republican, you are voting against your own self interests and you are a sucker and a fool. Or to put it in biblical terms, you are worshiping a modern day golden calf and that calf’s name is Donald Trump.

Donald Trump - Modern Day Golden Calf
The biblical myth of the golden calf has resurrected itself in the form of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Trump & Jeebus: Peas In A Pod

One of our features here is Capitalist Jesus where we present Jesus dressed in his best suit and tie ensemble commenting how wonderful capitalism and right wing conservative christianity is. Because nothing is more christian than the unregulated greed and selfishness brought on by unregulated capitalism. Like we’ve said before, unregulated capitalism is just indirect cannibalism. We’re killing each other for fun and profit.

Which reminds us of TFG, a.k.a. former twice impeached American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. We posted a photo-toon of Capitalist Jesus back in 2016 when TFG started running for President which pretty much sums up how hypocritical modern evangelical christians in the GOP are when it comes to supporting this pathological liar. Since Con-a-thon 2024 is basically a repeat of Con-a-thon 2020 and Trump ran during the Con-a-thon 2016, our job here is pretty easy. Since the Republican Party is rinsing and repeating with the stupidity of Donald Trump, we can rinse and repeat with our photo-toons because one thing hasn’t changes since 2016: Donald Trump is still a greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted and oppressive asshole.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

Rewind: R U Rapture Ready?

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The recent turmoil in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestinians have the got the conservative evangelical christians thumping their bibles salivating for the end times and the rapture when all good christians will be slurped up to heaven (which is presumably somewhere in Earth’s atmosphere although no satellite photos have shown its precise whereabouts).


Of course, anytime anything goes wrong in the Middle East (which is pretty much every day) the christians scream about the end times and how Jesus is coming again. Back in July and August of 2006, the Lebanon War between Hezbollah and Israel had evangelicals sounding the alarm. But alas, the end of the world didn’t happen and nobody was raptured. The fact that at that time, legitimate news organizations like CNN would actually mention the rapture should make logical, intelligent and reasonable citizens very weary of any news organization that would promote such ridiculous bunk as the rapture. It’s kind of like entertainment shows that still feature astrologers and horoscopes. But then again, America elected Trump in 2016. Stupid is as stupid does.

This photo-toon is from our August 11, 2006 issue.

The escalation of hostilities in the Middle East has launched an obsession of talk about the Apocalypse, the end of the world and the Rapture on supposedly responsible news networks like CNN.
The escalation of hostilities in the Middle East has launched an obsession of talk about the Apocalypse, the end of the world and the Rapture on supposedly responsible news networks like CNN.

Rewind: SEGUMUCA Nation Redux

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The big news this past week is all the nineteen defendants in Georgia’s RICO case have turned themselves in and had their thugshots taken including the head thug TFG, who predictably is trying to profit off of it by offering merchandise to grift his followers. It’s been a horrible eight years since TFG first came down the escalators to announce his candidacy and the American people’s sanity has gone down the drain because of him. The petulant, megalomaniacal man-child has dominated the corporate media because the corporate media loves him. Even liberal sites cover him because he boosts their ratings. If there’s one thing that has become self-evident during the Trump era is that greed, avarice, materialism, ratings, followers and likes are the most important things in the world now, which is probably why democracy is on the brink of destruction.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from our May 17, 2016 post where we lamented our predicament with candidate Trump and unfortunately things have worsened since then. Our analysis then still rings true today. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way.  Add to the fact that conservative evangelicals now view Trump as a better role model than Jesus and we’ve got a hell of a problem on our hands. So what do we do? We’ll just repeat our final paragraph from that post for simplicity’s sake.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.
Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.

Rewind: Reality Check

The election season is driving us crazy so this post deals with something remarkable thanks to the scientists at NASA. Recently, NASA’s spacecraft Lucy sent back stunning photos of the Earth and the Moon from about a million miles and half a million miles away that reminds us how insignificant we are in the universe. It’s not the first to show the Earth and moon together but it’s probably one of the best.

We’re reposting a pic from July 26, 2013 when the Cassini spacecraft was still operational. That probe sent back an astonishing photo of the pale blue dot through Saturn’s rings. We thought it appropriate to add a little notation as a reality check to the denizens of planet Earth that God and all the other mythical gods were created on that insignificant speck by the species of animal known as homo sapiens. That’s right, folks: God didn’t create man; man created God.

The people of Earth created God not the other way around
The Cassini spacecraft orbiting Saturn sends a reality check to all religious people on the pale blue dot called Earth.

The Ignominious MTHead

The up and coming Republicans in the House of Representative are notorious for one reason – they’re all colossally stupid. Take Matt Gaetz … please. Much like his mentor TFG, Gaetz makes ten inane comments each day before breakfast. Then there is Colorado’s answer to Sarah Palin, Lauren Boobert (misspelling intended). She thinks she’s actually in the same class as AOC, but her comments and actions say otherwise. But the biggest ass on the GOP’s team has to Marjorie Taylor Greene, a.k.a. MTG or as she should be called MTHead. This living relic of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons mating has collected an astonishing collection of insipid statements in just less than two years of serving as a representative for Georgia’s 14th district which covers the northwest corner of the state.

Just how dumb is this woman? Here’s just a partial summary of her stupidity. MTHead stated that the 2018 California wildfires was started by Jewish space lasers. MTHead stated that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi uses her gazpacho (instead of Gestapo) police in order to spy on House members. MTHead was stripped of committee assignments because she spread QAnon conspiracy theories and incited violence against Democrats. MTHead has repeatedly called coronavirus a hoax and proudly spread anti-vaccine disinformation which won her a ban from Twitter. MTHead has been at the forefront of supporting TFG’s big lie about non-existent election fraud. MTHead has openly supported Russia’s dictator Vlad Putin in his illegal war against Ukraine. MTHead is famously pro-gun and anti-abortion. Her latest of countless gaffes is her conspiracy about Bill Gates forcing us to eat burgers made in peach tree dishes (instead of petri dishes). Holy Freaking Zeus, folks!!! This woman is a complete train wreck!!! What a MORON!!!

Unfortunately, the problem is that the district MTHead represents is heavily right wing conservative Republican. She just handily won her primary and looks to be a shoo-in for another two years despite being possibly the stupidest Congressperson in history. We know one thing: we will never visit that section of Georgia. The people who would elect this imbecile are not worth knowing.

The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia's 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.
The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia’s 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.

The Rise Of The Sanctimonious Assholes

With the impending Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, thus ending a woman’s autonomy over her own body, the radical, right wing, authoritarian conservative christians are finally making their move. It’s been fifty years in the making and it shouldn’t be surprising to anybody who has been paying attention. The Republican Party has been taken over by the evangelical christians and it’s never been more evident than during the disastrous presidencies of George W. Bush and TFG here in the twenty-first century.

John Dean’s excellent book Conservatives Without Conscience mentions the rise of the religious extremists and how former Arizona Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater lamented their influence over the Republican party. It was Goldwater who suggested the book to Dean as a warning to what would happen if these zealots took over the party. Amazingly, Goldwater would probably be booted out of the party he once headed because his stances would be considered too moderate for today’s GOP. For instance, Goldwater was pro-choice, supported medical marijuana and advocated for gay rights. The former Senator stated about conservative christians:

Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.

Unfortunately, his prescient words have come to pass. The Supreme Court is loaded with regressive thinking religious conservatives who believe that Americans should be connecting to a first century database instead of a twenty-first century one. Furthermore, as we have found out in the past twenty years, compromise is a four letter word to them as they think that going to church every Sunday and saying prayers by rote like the sheeple they are somehow makes them superior to everyone else. Like we’ve mentioned before, they want to make America into the Holy Corporate Empire by any authoritarian means possible.

The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.
The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.

GOP Baby Factories – a.k.a. Women

The right-wing dominated Supreme Court has shown their true intentions about abortion rights by recently letting stand severe abortion bans in Texas and Mississippi. We’ve been screaming about their intentions for years here at the Bucket. States with Republican leadership ranging from bible thumping states like South Dakota and Alabama to our home state of Arizona have been slowly chipping away at abortion rights over the last twenty years. Religious zealots have seized control of state and federal government and forced their horribly archaic, first century viewpoints upon the citizenry of the country because these holy huckster bible thumpers still view the woman as nothing more than a baby factory. If these people were truly pro-life, they’d realize that the woman’s life should come first. But then hypocrisy does seem to be commonplace with these sheeple. They claim to be pro-life but then fervently support gun rights. They claim to be pro-life but then violently protest getting a life saving vaccine against a disease that has claimed over 800,000 people in the US and over 5 million word wide.

We’re re-posting a photo-toon from January 11, 2006 when ol’ Dubya nominated Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. This was the beginning of the end because since then, Alito, Thomas, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett (the Handmaiden’s Justice) have formed a staunch conservative religious bloc on the court that not only wants to force women through unwanted pregnancies but also to knock down the wall between church and state, thus forcing all of us to adhere to outdated, biblical philosophy whether we like it or not. Like we’ve stated before, we’re regressing rapidly toward America becoming the Holy Corporate Empire.

Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool (a wire hanger)which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he's on the bench.
Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he’s on the bench.

Portrait Of Failure: The Trump Revolution

Inauguration Day has finally come and once again America has a President again instead of an orange-haired, megalomaniac, ranting, raving, man child CEO/Dictator. Donald Trump has flown off to his lair in Florida and competency has returned to the White House. Sane, intelligent, democracy loving Americans are breathing freely again as well as people in countries around the world, as Joe Biden prepares to , once again, clean up another fricking mess made by Republicans.

We don’t usually toot our own horn here at the Bucket, but we predicted what the coming conservative revolution led by Trump might look like back in our post of November 17, 2012. After the 2012 election, Donald Trump started whining about how Mitt Romney was robbed, thus laying the groundwork for Republican claims of election fraud in the future. Trump, who was a Tea Party/Teabagger darling at that time, also threatened to run for President which prompted our photo-toon (which we’ve reposted below) showing the complete ridiculousness of the prospect of a Trump presidency as he incites his Teabagger/future MAGA warriors onward to a glorious conservative revolution while he sits in his luxurious CEO chair stroking his hair and his massive . . . ego.

Unfortunately for the world, Trump unbelievably became President in 2016 and his presidency turned out to be every bit as catastrophic as people thought it would be, culminating in a despicable, treasonous assault on the Capitol on January 6th. In true Trump fashion (and like we predicted), he egged his sycophantic supporters on to commit treason while he took a cushy seat in the White House watching the mayhem. It should be noted that no pardons were issued for any of the people who stormed the Capitol at Trump’s request. But Steve Bannon, the man who ran a scam collecting money from the sheeple for the non-existent border wall, was pardoned. The MÆGAMoron, QAnon, evangelical rubes finally found out the hard way that Trump was nothing but a con artist who conned them nine million ways to Sunday.

In photo-toon summary, this is how Trump’s ‘revolution’ turned out.

Here’s our photo-toon from November 17. 2012 – the Inception

Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.
Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.

Here’s our latest photo-toon – the Insurrection. It sucks to be a Trump supporter.

A couple of ardent, redneck Trump supporters find out the hard way that they were duped nine million ways to Sunday by megalomaniac man child Donald Trump.
A couple of ardent, redneck Trump supporters find out the hard way that they were duped nine million ways to Sunday by megalomaniac man child Donald Trump.