Tag Archive for authoritarian

Quid Pro Quos Are Good…mmmmkay

The impeachment inquiry has been formalized and the Republicans continue to stonewall despite admission by the Trump administration that there was a quid pro quo. Acting Chief of Staff/Trump babysitter Mick Mulvaney confessed to one before Halloween. The conservative Republican winged monkeys have been scrambling ever since to try and cover their asses on Mulvaney’s gaffe. The Mickster tried to walk back his statement trying to tell people that they didn’t hear what they heard. How Orwellian! Even Chris Wallace from Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network called him on his lying. Now the whole mantra from the GOP seems to be that there’s nothing wrong with a quid pro quo. How typically Republican: it’s okay when we do it.

We couldn’t help but notice while Mulvaney bumbled, sweated and strained in front of the press, telling them to ‘get over’ the quid pro quo, that with his bulbous, balding head, whiny expressions and round glasses he resembles the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey. He’s even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”

OMB director, carnival barker, corporate lackey, and acting Chief of Staff/babysitter, Mick Mulvaney, bears a striking resemblance to the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey and has even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”
OMB director, carnival barker, corporate lackey, and acting Chief of Staff/babysitter, Mick Mulvaney, bears a striking resemblance to the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey and has even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”

The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine

The impeachment inquiry rolls on and more disturbing evidence is surfacing about America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s shakedown on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for information about Democratic rival and former Obama administration Vice President Joe Biden. Damning testimonies like those of William B. Taylor portray our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House as some kind of mafioso wise guy trying to put the screws to Zelensky whose country needs help from western NATO nations but is also being squeezed from the east by Putin’s Russia.

The whole operation sounds fubarred from the very beginning. Supposedly, Trump’s carny barker and chief of staff Mick Mulvaney brought in the Donald’s three amigos, or in this case, the three stooges to coordinate the action. Slick Mick thought that Kurt Volker, Gordon Sondland and Rick Perry could convince various people in the Ukraine to arrange a deal for information on Joe Biden’s son Hunter’s business dealings which might help Trump in the 2020 election. Volker and Sondland have both testified before the House with Sondland stating that there was some kind of quid pro quo involved.

The really funny thing about this is that Rudy ‘Captain Colludiani’ Giuliani became involved with his now arrested henchman Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, who look like they came directly from central casting, and allegedly used them to try and dig up dirt on Biden, thus fubarring the operation even more. Add Mick Mulvaney’s confession of a quid pro quo agreement and impeachment is looking now like a done deal even without the ten cases of obstruction laid out by the Mueller report. (Helpful reminder and hint: the Mueller report wasn’t a witch hunt because it produced 37 indictments. We repeat 37 INDICTMENTS!!! Please, corporate media – mention this FACT next time poor, little victim Trump cries that he is being persecuted or lynched!)

Which is why Trump desperately tried a little tail wagging the dog action this past weekend by announcing that terrorist ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi  was killed by special op forces. This is a good thing and we should be able to pat Trump on the back. . . but he made it impossible to do even that. In true Trumpian fashion, he made the operation all about him. He bragged about the killing and morbidly regaled the press with how al-Baghdadi cried and died like a dog. Many people have even compared Obama’s address when Osama bin Laden was killed to Trump’s and well. . . there’s no comparison: Obama is the adult and Trump is the arrogant, spoiled little child looking for attention. Trump even got royally booed at game 5 of the Astros-Nationals World Series as the crowd broke into chants of “Lock him up!” Oh, the irony! So Trump’s little distraction action failed miserably and it looks like Nancy Pelosi is bringing forth a vote to formalize the impeachment inquiries.

But at least we can enjoy Donald Trump’s latest film about all the hilarious hijinx that happened (or didn’t happen) The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine, featuring, of course, the very best people: Kurt Volker as Larry, Gordon Sondland as Curly, Rick Perry as Moe and Rudy Giuliani as Captain Colludiani, rated I for Impeachable.

The Three Stooges - Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.
The Three Stooges – Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.

Trump’s Impeachment Stonewall

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has finally built his wall. But it’s not the one his supporters expected on the southern border. This wall is the stonewall that the orange-haired man child has constructed around the White House to protect him from the impeachment inquiry currently being conducted by the Democrat-led House of Representatives.

The investigation is ratcheting up and more and more crimes committed by the Trump administration are coming to light. For instance, the testimony by acting ambassador William B. Taylor Jr. clarifies that there definitely was a quid pro quo with Ukraine for aid contingent on finding dirt on Joe Biden. The House has subpoenaed several members of the Trump administration but many like Mike Pompeo and Rudy Giuliani have ignored them. The official stance of the Trump White House is that it will not comply with any of the impeachment proceedings as Trump perceives it as a ‘witch hunt’, which is what he calls any kind of investigation into his laundry list of dubious actions, lies and fabrications. This obvious stonewalling is obvious obstruction, which is against the law and an impeachable offense. But that doesn’t matter with Trump. In his weak, feeble, authoritarian mind, he is above the law and can do no wrong. Only he can fire people, not vice-versa. His tenure as president is nothing more than a reality show for him and a nightmare for every sane person in America and the free, democratic world.

So what are the Democrats going to do with all these refusals of subpoenas? Should they arrest people who don’t honor them? What good is the impeachment inquiry if they’re not going to apply the law and the Republicans do whatever they want with no repercussions? The Republicans are still betting on Trump’s authoritarian thuggery to carry the party forward (or backward, if you like reality). They’ve even ‘stormed’ the hearings in an attempt to ‘demand transparency’ when in reality it’s just to try and portray themselves as victims of the mean ol’ Democrat heathens who are out to get the saintly Trump. They seem to have forgotten that when they conducted impeachment proceedings against Clinton in the ’90’s, the hearings were closed as well. But like the LA Times says, “It’s so much easier for Trump’s supporters on Capitol Hill to bleat about the process of the inquiry than it is to deny Taylor’s account or defend the quid pro quo”. The conservative GOP will never admit they’re wrong, so they’re willing to destroy their own party rather than admit the President is a crook and move on to their next leader, whoever that may be. They’re even attacking Spiff Romney, who had the audacity to speak out against Trump. For the Republicans, it’s party over country and they have every intention to authoritatively shove their ideology down everyone’s throats.

We know one thing: Trump’s stonewalling is further threatening democracy and the rule of law. The Democrats must start holding Republicans accountable now! If that means locking them up to obey subpoenas then that’s what they should do! For Pete’s sake, the Republicans ran on a platform of honoring law and order and yet they thwart regulations, checks and balances and rule of law every chance they get. If the Republicans don’t start playing by the rules and the Democrats don’t start enforcing the law, then chaos will reign in this country and we’ll be nothing more than a nation straight out of a comic book with a Joker as the President.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he's erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike 'Puritan' Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he’s erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike ‘Puritan’ Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.

IMPEACH!!!

Finally. . . the Democrats have started an impeachment inquiry! And all it took was America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump brazenly and stupidly asking another country for dirt on a political opponent. In yet another candidate for the ‘Are you freaking kidding me’ file, Trump asked Ukraine President and former comedian Volodymyr Zelensky in a phone conversation to do Trump a favor and investigate Joe Biden and his son Hunter. The orange haired man child even released partial transcripts which proves a quid pro quo element to the dialogue. Of course, this little kerfuffle with Ukraine and its naive new President only helps Trump’s best buddy, Vladimir Putin. But to make sure that breaking the law doesn’t bother Trump, he just asked China for dirt on Biden as well.

Not only is Trump in trouble, but Attorney General Bill Barr and Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani are also implicated in the mob style pressuring and the corresponding cover up. Whistleblowergate is blowing the Trump administration to smithereens and in true Trumpian fashion, the narcissistic megalomaniac is throwing everyone under the bus except himself. Trump is unraveling before the nation’s eyes, even calling for the identity of the whistleblower and threatening civil war if he is impeached. Most of the nation’s militias are right-wing and they are disturbingly taking Trump’s threats seriously.

Will Whistleblowergate finally be the straw that removes Trump from office? We’re skeptical but hopeful. Many Republicans are showing signs of abandoning Trump. Even Jeff Flake (if he can truly be believed) mentioned that if Republicans in the Senate could vote silently, at least thirty-five would vote for Trump to be impeached and removed. We’re hoping Adam Schiff and the Dems in the House keep up the pressure and overwhelming convince the nation that Trump is nothing more than a bully, a con artist and a crook. Polls indicate that more and more Americans are approving of the impeachment inquiry. This is a good thing for not only this nation but every nation on the planet.

Impeach Trump!
Impeach Trump!

Hurricane Commander

The Trump administration recently added another level to its already towering pile of preposterous bullshit it has spewed upon the American electorate in the last three years. Apparently, now meteorologists have to check with our dear leader before making any weather forecasts. Yes, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s ego is so weak and fragile that telling him he’s wrong on weather forecasts could get you fired.

It all started when Hurricane Dorian approached the Bahamas and was threatening Florida and the southeastern United States. Trump tweeted that people in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas should be aware but he also included Alabama. Now when Dorian was passing by Puerto Rico, spaghetti plots suggested that maybe Alabama would get hit. But as the cyclone approached the Bahamas days later, it became evident from the updated forecast models that Alabama was in little to no danger. The models had changed. This is when Trump sent out his infamous tweet. The National Weather Service in Alabama tweeted a correction to Trump’s tweet stating that Alabamans need not worry because they were not threatened.

Now a normal, sane human being would just say, “Oops. My bad.” and get on with life. Not Trump. No, the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House who in his warped conservative mind is never wrong and claims to be the ‘chosen one’ doubled down and presented a weather chart a few day later that had obviously been altered by a sharpie to include Alabama in the forecast’s cone of uncertainty. This touched off Sharpiegate which unfortunately has taken center stage over the death and destruction that occurred in the Bahamas due to Hurricane Dorian.

To make matters worse, an unsigned notice from admin people in NOAA(National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) popped up last week saying they were wrong to contradict the President. Apparently, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross threatened that heads would roll if the meteorologists didn’t apologize to dear leader. Of course, meteorologists, scientists and thinking intelligent humans are not accepting this at all and calls for Ross’s resignation have been inundating the White House like storm surge from a hurricane.

And then, just because he’s the biggest asshole on the planet, Trump forbade a ship full of storm survivors from the Bahamas to dock in Florida because. . . you know . . . there might be ‘very bad people’ trying to sneak in with the refugees. What a dick!

The point is that Donald Trump is so unstable that he shouldn’t be counted on for anything, even compassion for his fellow human beings. Think about it. Meteorologists have to make sure their forecasts don’t offend or contradict the President? Hurricane victims who just lost everything can’t even seek refuge within the United States? Are you kidding???!!! His incompetence isn’t funny anymore, it’s frightening. He’s a danger to this country and the planet. He is subverting democracy right under our noses. World events, like the recent Saudi Arabia attacks, are happening now that need a calm cool head, not an idiot who thinks he’s the ‘chosen one’, denies climate change yet somehow can control the weather and will never admit he’s wrong even when you shove the facts in his face. Democrats, grow a spine and do your job! IMPEACH THIS JOKER – NOW!!!

American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed 'chosen one', Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn't follow his commands.
American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn’t follow his commands.

The Joker

Joaquin Phoenix’s new movie Joker has opened to rave reviews and large box office projections for his performance as a mentally defective wanna-be comedian who becomes a psychotic super villain spreading chaos and disorder everywhere he goes.

In eerily parallel reality, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump continues to be a mentally defective wanna-be world leader who has led America into a world of chaos that threatens the very tenets of democracy and is ripping this country to shreds while simultaneously ruining our country’s standing on the world stage.

Apparently these days, Americans seem to be obsessed with psychotic sociopaths who want to create chaos.

Joker: Not to be outdone by Joaquin Phoenix, American CEO/Dictator and 'stable genius' Donald Trump releases his own Joker movie where he promises law and order but delivers chaos that promotes hatred and violence thus threatening to rip apart the democratic institutions on which the nation was founded. Rated R for Repulsive.
Joker: Not to be outdone by Joaquin Phoenix, American CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump releases his own Joker movie where he promises law and order but delivers chaos that promotes hatred and violence thus threatening to rip apart the democratic institutions on which the nation was founded. Rated R for Repulsive.

The Last Responder

The Trump presidency continues on its catastrophic way while America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, keeps spinning more lies, delusions and deceptions to the American people. The Washington Post lie counter is well over 12,000 and the petulant man child shows no sign of letting up. He really has a penchant for alternative facts and alternative history as well like his Battle of Yorktown Airport speech just last month. As we’ve noted before, his cronies also serve up a heaping helping of distracting flak as well.

In keeping with his history of distraction, Donald Trump recently regaled the media and a group of first responders with tales of how he was actually at Ground Zero after 9/11 helping out the firefighters despite there being no actual evidence that he did anything. He also claimed to have predicted 9/11, saw thousands of Muslims celebrating and saw people jumping from the Twin Towers from his penthouse. All false statements. Of course, facts don’t matter to Trump or to his supporters. Anytime someone accuses him of stretching the truth he projects, like his conservative Republican cohorts, and calls the real news ‘Fake News’, while everything that spews forth from his gaping maw is ‘the truth’. This is red meat to his troll like followers. If Trump said 2+2=4 is fake, his followers would blindly follow. And as we’ve seen, when he speaks hateful rhetoric like ‘go back to where they came from’, his followers load up their guns and take aim.

So, let’s delve into that warped mind that is Donald Trump. Let’s imagine what it was like on that fateful day back on September 11, 2001, when Golden Man of Truth, Donald Trump, the muscles of his sculptured body rippling, stepped to the forefront upon a piece of wreckage and proclaimed to the weary firefighters, “Follow me, boys”; and then proceeded to save the soul of not only New Yorkers but all Americans. It’s all there folks, in Donald Trump’s imagination.

America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, recently regaled the masses with the story of how on 9/11, he stepped to the forefront and bravely led the first responders in rescuing many New Yorkers and saving the soul of America.
America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, recently regaled the masses with the story of how on 9/11, he stepped to the forefront and bravely led the first responders in rescuing many New Yorkers and saving the soul of America.

Moscow Mitch; Or Moscow’s Bitch

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, has been in the headlines a lot lately. Apparently poor little Mitchy doesn’t like his new nickname, ‘Moscow Mitch’, given to him for his refusal to pass election security bills that would ensure Russia doesn’t interfere with the 2020 elections like they did in 2016. Why would anyone, especially a United States Senator, want a hostile foreign nation to interfere with our democratic elections?

Well, Turtle Boy knows that without Russian help, Republicans have no hope of winning. Ever since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in the presidential elections once – that’s right folks – one time(2004). The only reason they’re even competitive in the House of Representatives is because districts are so gerrymandered by GOP controlled states that Republicans have a distinct advantage over Democratic candidates. Even Robert Mueller warned of Russian interference in his recent testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. The Russians hacked elections in all fifty states in 2016. Furthermore, Moscow Mitch knew about it and still did nothing to stop it in 2016 and he will continue to nothing about it because Moscow Mitch places the Republican party above country.

Moscow Mitch also has dubious ties to Russia in that Kentucky has gotten some pretty sweet deals from Russian oligarchs. Yes, Moscow Mitch has sold out his country for fun and profit and yet he has the audacity to accuse Democrats and media outlets of ‘modern day McCarthyism’. How is this dipshit still getting elected despite an approval rating in the thirties in his home state of Kentucky? Maybe its because voting machine companies donate heavily to his coffers. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; Corporate America has fixed it so Moscow Mitch gets elected time and time again because . . . you know. . . corporations are people, too. Thanks Supreme Court!

So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname 'Moscow Mitch' while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname ‘Moscow Mitch’ while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.

The British Trump

The United States isn’t the only country being overrun by right wing conservatives seizing control of the power structures. Many countries throughout the world have seen hard line conservative parties gain power and predictably are establishing authoritarian measures to make sure they stay in power. This past week, conservative Boris Johnson became the new Prime Minister in the United Kingdom. Johnson has been described as the British Donald Trump . . .you know . . . narcissistic womanizer with not a bit of intelligence. We thought that the U.K. went off the deep end when they voted for Brexit. With Boris Johnson taking the helm, we’re pretty sure the sun has set on the British Empire.

So, what is behind the rise of all these right wing, authoritarian conservative gaining power throughout the western world? Could Russian President Vladimir Putin have something to do with the rise of authoritarianism and the decline of western democracies? We’re thinking, yes. Modern day Russia is basically a corrupt oligarchy, where only the rich and powerful have a say so in how the country is run. Since the fall of communism and the Soviet Union in the early ’90s, Russia has gone through some pretty rough years which has given rise to the oligarchs. Putin was pretty peeved that his country lost the Cold War. But the former KGB operative is intelligent and very clever. Over the past twenty years, he and the deep pocketed Russian oligarchs have systematically used capitalism as a weapon against the western capitalist democracies and, as we’re seeing now, to devastating effect. They know that one common trait among all capitalistic countries is greed; the life’s blood of capitalism. There are any number of egotistical, power hungry people in western democracies who’d sell out their own mother for money, wealth and power. Trump’s connections to Russia are well known despite his protests and denials. Boris Johnson also has conflicts. Other countries have also shown a susceptibility to make corrupt deals with Russia.

In his testimony to Congress this past week, Robert Mueller explicitly warned that Russia interfered in the 2016 election and is on it’s way to mucking up our elections in 2020. And the Mueller report also states that Trump openly welcomed Russian interference (there are videos of Trump openly asking Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails). Russian oligarchs have used corrupt, crony capitalism to amass their considerable fortunes and they will spare no expense supporting the best hackers available in undermining our democratic institutions. And yet Mitch McConnell blocked legislation that would provide protection against hacking in the upcoming election. We guess Turtle Boy knows that the Republicans can’t win again without Russia’s help.

So Britain now has it’s own Donald Trump. We here at the Bucket see Putin as a James Bond Super Villain who dispenses helpful hints for those wanting to remake western democracies into Putin-style oligarchies. All you have to do is buy off wacky haired, egotistical, narcissistic, populist, capitalist megalomaniacs like Boris Johnson and Trump, who love money, fame and power. Oh, and don’t forget those wacky haired communist leaders like Kim Jong Un.

Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.
Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.

The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.