Tag Archive for Middle East

World War III: Trumpocalypse Now

We’re not pulling any punches here at the Bucket. We are vehemently anti-Donald Trump. Sure Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect, but she is basically a centrist Democrat and a moderate Republican. Like our guy Bernie Sanders has said, even on her worst days, she’s still one thousand times better than Mr. Trump.

There are countless reasons to not elect GOP frontrunner Donald Trump president. So far, he’s been as fickle as the wind on foreign and domestic issues alike. Oh, it’s Tuesday, then he’s for punishing women for abortions. If it’s Wednesday’s and the wind’s from the northwest, then women shouldn’t be punished. He used to be for gun control, but now he’s all for everyone having guns everywhere. Other issues he’s been for and against: transgender bathroom usage, same-sex marriage, NATO, reducing the national debt, Planned Parenthood, violence for political gain, etc…

But probably the biggest reason not to elect this psychopath is his foreign policy experience. We can’t think of a more dangerous person to have his finger on the nuclear button than this egomaniacal, authoritarian rage monster. The thought should make every sane Americans blood run cold. Let’s take the recent incident when U.S. sailors ventured into Iranian waters and were taken prisoners. Within a day, thanks to diplomacy by the Obama administration, the sailors were released. But Mr. Trump wanted to get tough with Iran (and possibly start World War III), which will undoubtedly be a nuclear war. He’s already sending mixed messages on foreign war policy as well. He stated that the U.S. shouldn’t be involved in foreign wars. But then he turns around and says he’d carpet bomb ISIS and show force in Syria. Can you imagine the Donald handling incidents with North Korea, China, the Ukraine, the Middle East. Just the slightest provocation would send Trump to the nuclear button. He’s already said, he would use nuclear weapons. Who knows — if Mexico doesn’t agree to build the border wall that Trump wants, he may send a few warheads southward.

The bottom line is this; if a person is thinking about voting for Trump, then that person should be prepared to go to war themselves, or send their sons, daughters or grandchildren to war. And this war won’t be just any war. It will be World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump's new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump’s new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

Rewind: Transformers Of The Middle East

Continuing with our brief Coming Soon To A Theater Near You retrospective…

Here’s a theater poster from our July19, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production Transformers of the Middle East starring Dick ‘Rustbucket’ Cheney, Condoleezza ‘Chevtron ‘ Rice and George W. Bush as Lil’ DubDub, the chief Neocon transformer of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice invade Iraq with one mission: to transform the Middle East come Hell or the Apocalypse. Let the Quagmire Commence!

Transformers of the Middle East: Neocon transformers George W. Bush (Lil' DubDub), Dick Cheney(Rustbucket) and Condoleeza Rice(Chevtron) invade Iraq to transform it and the rest of the Middle East into an oil producing heaven for the west. Will they succeed or will they fan the flames of hatred and start an apocalyptic quagmire from which America will never recover. Rated R for Reprehensible.

Diplomacy Is So Wimpy

President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are making the case for taking limited military action against Syria for allegedly using chemical weapons on it’s own people. We’re not sure more military action in the Middle East is wise at this time but what’s most disturbing is one of the reasons stated by our illustrious Democratic and Republican leaders: that we need to take action because we don’t want to look wimpy. Really? This is an important reason for taking military action in a hotbed of civil unrest? We don’t want to look wimpy???!!!  Right, diplomacy is so wimpy. Gee, don’t forget we want to impress the cheerleaders and cool kids, too. We’ve come to expect this grade school reasoning from Republicans, but come on President Obama and John Kerry! Screw using our tax money on jobs, employment, infrastructure and education IN THIS COUNTRY!!! Let’s get into another Middle Eastern quagmire, because we don’t want to look wimpy. Geez, you can almost see the marionette strings on our leaders as they are being manipulated by the military industrial complex.

President Obama explains the importance of looking tough to avoid the painful wedgies and swirlies which may follow from trying to use wimpy diplomacy.

 

 

The Whole System Is Out Of Order

Another one from the “You’ve Got to be Kidding” file. It appears that President Obama’s new idols are the members of the Bush Administration. Recently, it was reported that the Obama Administration’s Department of Justice wants to grant immunity to the Bush Administration for war crimes in Iraq even though the Republicans will no doubt continue to kick the President in the teeth on anything he may want to accomplish. Something is rotten in Washington and in the media (as if we didn’t know already). In the past year, we’ve seen Dubya re-emerge into the public spotlight as an ‘enlightened’ artist, polls that indicate that people are starting to view the Bush presidency favorably, and even that more Republicans in Louisiana are blaming Obama for the sad response to Hurricane Katrina (see previous post), even though it was three and half years before he took office. Not only that, whistleblower Bradley/Chelsea Manning is a criminal for exposing government lies and the Bush Administration is getting a free pass for lying to the public and getting us involved in the clusterf*ck known as the Iraq War. The next thing you know, the Obama Administration will want to go to war with another country in the Middle East because, based on intelligence, they may have weapons of mass destruction. Oh….right….Syria. Didn’t we do this crap already and it ended badly for us? Like a trillion dollars in the hole, bad. Oh well, chalk up another win for the military-industrial complex. War is just good business!

President Obama shows his unrequited love for the Bush Administration.

Romney’s Geography Problem

There were many memorable moments from Monday’s presidential debates. President Obama’s comment about ‘horses and bayonets’ was our personal favorite. But another comment by GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, showed that maybe he’s not ready to be commander-in-chief. He referred to Syria as being “Iran’s route to the sea”. In fact, Iran doesn’t share a border with Syria and has a large coastline bordering the Persian Gulf, the Straits of Hormuz and the Gulf of Oman, which leads to the Arabian Sea and in turn the Indian Ocean. This isn’t the first time he’s made the gaffe either.  Not knowing geography is okay if you’re a college student. But if you’re the leader the largest country in the free world, you need to know the geography of countries and regions, especially those which have a history of being problematic. We here at the Bucket think we know who briefed Romney on world geography.

GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, consults with his geography tutor before the third Presidential debate last Monday.

Condoleezza Rice’s Legsplomacy

The world is abuzz with the downfall of longtime Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi. Today, rebel forces stumbled across a photo album in Gaddafi’s Bab al-Aziziya compound in Tripoli of Condoleezza Rice. Apparently, the Libyan strongman was quite fond of the former Bush Secretary of State. In a 2007 interview with Al Jazeera, Gaddafi said of Rice, “I support my darling, black African woman. … I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. … I love her very much. I admire her, and I’m proud of her because she’s a black woman of African origin.” Yeesh! That’s creepier than Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.

Actually, we at the Bucket have known for a long time, Condoleezza Rice’s power over men. Here’s a photo-toon from our August 11, 2006 issue.

After failing to secure peace in the Middle East, Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, reveals her new diplomatic tactic in dealing with foreign leaders, especially males.