Archive for Puritan Pence

Just Pray The Virus Away

Once again the Trump administration has trolled the world, this time with its response to the coronavirus breakout which has infected 90,000 worldwide. The stock market has also had a roller coaster ride the last two weeks, with daily swings of at least 800 points seemingly every day. We mentioned a few posts ago, we think the media is sensationalizing things just like they did in the past fifty years with the swine flu, MERS, SARS and Ebola. You know the old corporate media adage: if it bleeds, it leads; if it can scare, then we care. With every one of these breakouts, which were supposed to be the next plague, scientists were able to get things under control – using science – and a true pandemic crisis was averted. Education, prevention, proper hygiene, listening to the scientific experts and lack of panic are key elements in battling any potential medical emergency.

So who does America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, choose to be his coronavirus czar? None other than Mr. Anti-Science himself, Vice President Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence. Pence doesn’t accept evolution as fact, folks. He believes in the biblical explanation of creation and he also is one of the rapture cultists along with Mike Pompeo who have infiltrated the executive branch. He probably even doubts gravity exists. So what will be Puritan Pence’s solution to the crisis? We have no doubt that there will be a heaping helping of prayer involved. We’ve already seen evangelical nutbag Jim Bakker push his cure all elixir on his bible thumping show. Could Pence push something like this to Trump’s sheeple followers? Hey, there’s money to be made from these rubes and as we all know, Trump loves the green stuff. So, you betcha.

We’re also positive that Trump could care less about the coronavirus or its victims. His only concern is how to use it politically so he can get re-elected. So, if the breakout does actually become a pandemic, then he can blame Puritan Pence. If the breakout turns out to be like Ebola in 2014, then he can blame the media for over-hyping the situation, which he’s already doing. Either way, Trump has set himself up not to be the fall guy, in typical Trumpian fashion; nothing is ever his fault. And more importantly for the power hungry, authoritarian GOP, his path to re-election is clear and unobstructed. No wonder the conservative Republicans love him; they’ve never accepted responsibility for anything in the last sixty years, other than tax cuts to their plutocrat overlords.

Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike 'Puritan Pants' Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.
Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.

Trump’s Impeachment Stonewall

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has finally built his wall. But it’s not the one his supporters expected on the southern border. This wall is the stonewall that the orange-haired man child has constructed around the White House to protect him from the impeachment inquiry currently being conducted by the Democrat-led House of Representatives.

The investigation is ratcheting up and more and more crimes committed by the Trump administration are coming to light. For instance, the testimony by acting ambassador William B. Taylor Jr. clarifies that there definitely was a quid pro quo with Ukraine for aid contingent on finding dirt on Joe Biden. The House has subpoenaed several members of the Trump administration but many like Mike Pompeo and Rudy Giuliani have ignored them. The official stance of the Trump White House is that it will not comply with any of the impeachment proceedings as Trump perceives it as a ‘witch hunt’, which is what he calls any kind of investigation into his laundry list of dubious actions, lies and fabrications. This obvious stonewalling is obvious obstruction, which is against the law and an impeachable offense. But that doesn’t matter with Trump. In his weak, feeble, authoritarian mind, he is above the law and can do no wrong. Only he can fire people, not vice-versa. His tenure as president is nothing more than a reality show for him and a nightmare for every sane person in America and the free, democratic world.

So what are the Democrats going to do with all these refusals of subpoenas? Should they arrest people who don’t honor them? What good is the impeachment inquiry if they’re not going to apply the law and the Republicans do whatever they want with no repercussions? The Republicans are still betting on Trump’s authoritarian thuggery to carry the party forward (or backward, if you like reality). They’ve even ‘stormed’ the hearings in an attempt to ‘demand transparency’ when in reality it’s just to try and portray themselves as victims of the mean ol’ Democrat heathens who are out to get the saintly Trump. They seem to have forgotten that when they conducted impeachment proceedings against Clinton in the ’90’s, the hearings were closed as well. But like the LA Times says, “It’s so much easier for Trump’s supporters on Capitol Hill to bleat about the process of the inquiry than it is to deny Taylor’s account or defend the quid pro quo”. The conservative GOP will never admit they’re wrong, so they’re willing to destroy their own party rather than admit the President is a crook and move on to their next leader, whoever that may be. They’re even attacking Spiff Romney, who had the audacity to speak out against Trump. For the Republicans, it’s party over country and they have every intention to authoritatively shove their ideology down everyone’s throats.

We know one thing: Trump’s stonewalling is further threatening democracy and the rule of law. The Democrats must start holding Republicans accountable now! If that means locking them up to obey subpoenas then that’s what they should do! For Pete’s sake, the Republicans ran on a platform of honoring law and order and yet they thwart regulations, checks and balances and rule of law every chance they get. If the Republicans don’t start playing by the rules and the Democrats don’t start enforcing the law, then chaos will reign in this country and we’ll be nothing more than a nation straight out of a comic book with a Joker as the President.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he's erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike 'Puritan' Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he’s erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike ‘Puritan’ Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.

Oval Office Follies


The big story this week was the Oval Office budget meeting between America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence and Democratic House and Senate leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We’ve had our doubts about both Pelosi and Schumer because they’re both corporatists who do their fair share of cozying up to moneyed interests and they’ve shown in the past a willingness to cave in a little too quickly to Republican demands (like many other Democrats have done in the past twenty years, i.e. the Iraq War, Patriot Act, etc…).

But we’ve got to admit that we like what we saw from Pelosi and Schumer. They made Trump look like a buffoon by getting him to take ownership of any looming government shutdown on video for the whole country to see. Meanwhile, Mike Pence sat like a bump on a log in his chair, doing absolutely zilch, zippo, nada, bupkis, diddly-squat. We love all the Pence memes that are making the rounds this past week. We like that comment that he looked like he was at a strip club. Yes, America… if Trump is impeached, then we’ll be in the stoic, ultra-conservative hands of Puritan Pence, which gives no sane person in America a warm fuzzy.

In a recent Oval Office budget meeting with Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence tries to keep his thoughts pure while America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump tries to keep his thoughts empty.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence use impressive conservative skills to outmaneuver Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi in a recent Oval Office budget meeting.

Take A Knee America

We’re back from our longer than expected respite from TFS(Trump Fatigue Syndrome)…for how long, we don’t know. Under normal circumstances, with a normal President, not that much would have happened in a month. But America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump does more stupid things in a month than most people do in a lifetime. Add to that the incompetence, cowardice, corruption and greed of the Republicans in congress, the invisibility of the Democrats, and the normalization of the right wing by the corporate media and we just don’t have much hope left for this country. We just may fold up our tent and move to a remote island somewhere in the South Pacific, far away from the selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra-materialistic, ultra-competitive assholes who now seem to proliferate and run this country.

We’ve got some posts readied for the hurricane responses, but first we’ll take a look at the ‘feud’ between Trump and the NFL over players taking a knee during the national anthem, which culminated with Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence leaving the stadium during the Colts-49ers game because some of San Francisco’s players kneeled during the national anthem in protest of racial discrimination in America. Trump admitted that this was a planned stunt. Not only that, but the cheap political stunt was at the taxpayers’ expense. We don’t care much for the NFL or any professional sports for that matter. Both the owners and players make WAY too much money and have WAY too much influence on modern culture. But that being said, players have the right to kneel in protest because…THIS IS AMERICA. We have a thing here which separates us from other countries called freedom of speech. The players were kneeling as a way to draw awareness to racial discrimination which still plagues this country. Their protest in no way was to disrespect the flag or those who fought for it. But the poor ‘widdle’ rich guys in the NFL executive front offices and the poor ‘widdle’ rich guys in the Republican party see it as an affront to their authority, which in their puny, narrow minded, conservative mind set is absolute. I mean how dare any one with less money criticize the actions of the people in charge. Of course, they had quite a different opinion during the Obama era.

Well if Trump and Pence are so sensitive to people taking a knee, we wonder what would happen if all of America took a knee during the national anthem. Would they leave the country? Hey, it’s worth a try, folks. We have no doubt, Trump and Pence could crash with their pal Vlad in Russia.

Maybe if all Americans took a knee during the national anthem, easily offended American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his Puritan Vice President Mike Pence would leave the country and stay with their old buddy Vlad Putin in Russia.

Maybe if all Americans took a knee during the national anthem, easily offended American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his Puritan Vice President Mike Pence would leave the country and stay with their old buddy Vlad Putin in Russia.

The Perfidious Plot of Puritan Pence

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, recently grabbed headlines away from Donald Trump, which isn’t easy to do nowadays. First, Pence cast the deciding vote on a bill which paves the way for defunding Planned Parenthood. Donald Trump just signed it into law. Pence is a full fledged evangelical zealot, whose religious intentions seem to be taking America back to the seventeenth century. This bill is an affront to women everywhere, but that doesn’t seem to matter to conservative christian males, who still base their views of women on the antiquated views postulated in the bible. The picture of the people (all white males) who decided women’s healthcare, which has become viral, shows that these troglodytes view women as mere possessions, who should only do household chores, have babies and shut up.

The second incident has to do with an interview Pence did back in the 2002 where he stated that he would never have dinner alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife. While many in the corporate news media defended Pence, claiming how gallant and gentlemanly this is, we here at the Bucket tend to think otherwise. We haven’t come to our atheism and our aversion to evangelical christians without experience. This is blatantly about Pence not wanting to tempt himself, which the article linked to above, addresses. There are many christians who are so sexually repressed that they can’t even say the words vagina or penis without turning twenty shades of crimson and dying of embarrassment. In their minds, sex or anything having to do with sex should not be discussed and any kind of modern thinking on contraception and birth control is wrong.

What makes Pence so dangerous is that compared to Trump, he seems reasonable. He’s becoming normalized by the media and he’s anything but normal. He is a right wing, radical, christian zealot. If he has his way, women’s rights, will be turned back a generation…or more.  We wouldn’t be surprised if Puritan Pence resurrects public shaming of women who have had an abortion or may even want an abortion; akin to making Puritan women wear a scarlet letter on their frocks. Behind that genteel smile, is a perfidious plot to take away women’s rights and return them to the kitchen, barefoot, pregnant and silent.

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, who is boldly trying to return America to the 17th century, courageously turns down a dinner invitation from a foul temptress who has a scarlet letter A on her chest indicating that she had or was thinking about having an abortion.

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, who is boldly trying to return America to the 17th century, courageously turns down a dinner invitation from a foul temptress who may or may not have had an abortion.

 

Pence’s Inspiration

We’ve commented before about Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence’s admiration for former Bush administration VP Dick Cheney.  Yes, Pence wants to be just like the lying, disingenuous architect of the clusterf*ck called the Iraq War in every phase including garnering an inspirational 13 percent approval rating. Way to aim high, Puritan Pence! We have no doubt that with his 17th century mindset, he’ll achieve his goal.

Vice President elect and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, vows to achieve the same lofty 13% approval ratings as his idol, Bush administration Vice President Dick Cheney.

Vice President elect and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, vows to achieve the same lofty 13% approval ratings as his idol, Bush administration Vice President Dick Cheney.

Pence Lies Like A Real Boy

The Vice Presidential debate was last night and as predicted is was pretty lackluster. What kills us is that many ‘pundits’ think Pence won the debate because he merely denied that Donald Trump said all the horrible, rotten, despicable things he has actually said during the course of the last year of this clusterf*ck that is Con-a-thon 2016. Since when did lying your ass off win you a debate? Oh that’s right, he’s Republican and the corporate news media is conservative. Hell, Republicans were claiming victory two hours ahead of the debate.

However, the Clinton campaign has released a pretty damning video showing the dishonesty and deception of Mike Pence and the Trump campaign. If Puritan Pence keeps lying like Pinocchio, he’ll severely jeopardize his chances of entering into his christian heaven.

GOP Vice President nominee, Puritan Mike Pence spins some Pinocchio-like deception by claiming Donald Trump called Mexicans therapists and not rapists.

GOP Vice Presidential candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, spins some Pinocchio-like deception and dishonesty which may hinder his chances of getting into christian heaven.

Pence Loves Dick

This past week, GOP VP nominee and everyone’s favorite Puritan, Mike Pence came out of the conservative closet and proudly pronounced to all that Dick Cheney, architect of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War, is his VP role model. If we had any respect for this man, (we didn’t), it was completely lost with this confession.

As a policy we started last year, whenever Dick Cheney appears in the press spouting his lies or one of his surrogates like Pence pops up praising him, we’d repeat Cheney’s biggest lie on Iraq. This is precisely the same strategy taken by the Bush Administration and the Republican Fear and Noise Machine, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a Fox News; to repeat things ad nauseum until the sheeple get it. Every person in America needs to see this video because it proves that at least one very influential person in the Bush Administration knew the Iraq War would be a quagmire and went ahead with it anyway saying instead that we would be greeted as liberators. Bush and Cheney are liars and need to be prosecuted! PLEASE…take time out and view this video!

Here’s another video released by the White House which shows how wrong Dick Cheney has been about everything and that his credibility level is zero. All we have to say about Cheney is WHAT A DICK!!!

The Peachy Keen VPs

The Vice Presidential candidates for the Democrats and Republicans couldn’t be more different from their respective running mates. Mike Pence is pretty much a modern day Puritan and the complete opposite of the bombastic and coarse Donald Trump. Tim Kaine is a walking Disney character and his squeaky clean demeanor is in contrast with the popular perceptions of Hilary Clinton as untrustworthy. Amazingly, the same adjectives are being used to describe both candidates: bland, boring, dull and our favorite, milquetoast.

We think the upcoming debate between the two candidates could be one of the biggest snooze-fests ever. Of course, it will probably be one of the most polite political events ever, too. We do have a bit of advice for the Democrats. If the Democrats don’t want another Dukakis-in-a-tank moment, do not use Kaine as an attack dog. Use Biden, Bill Clinton, Bernie Sanders or Obama to rip Trump a new one. Kaine is a nice guy. Let him be a nice guy. When he tries to be mean…it just looks bad.

GOP Vice President candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, excoriates Disneyesque Democrat VP candidate, Tim Kaine, for using the g d words.words.

GOP Vice President candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, excoriates Disneyesque Democrat VP candidate, Tim Kaine, for using the g d words.

Sticks And Stones

Thanks to the disastrous Trump campaign, we’re given on a daily basis such a plethora of gaffes and blunders to choose from, the satire just writes itself. Take for instance, Mike Pence recently stating that name calling has no place in politics; this from the Vice Presidential candidate of a man who’s made his living for the last year calling his opponents childish nick names like Lyin’ Ted, Little Marco and Low Energy Jeb Bush. We think ol’ Puritan Pants is a bit irony impaired.

Irony impaired GOP President and Vice President candidates, Trumpy McSmallHands and Puritan Pants blather on about how name cailling has no place in politics.

Irony impaired GOP President and Vice President candidates, Trumpy McSmallHands and Puritan Pants blather on about how name cailling has no place in politics.