Tag Archive for hearings

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.

Sham And Shame


The week is up on the sham FBI inquiry into Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford and it looks like the boozy, partisan judge will likely be confirmed given the preposterously limited scope of the investigation. There were many people who weren’t even questioned. We’re thinking that agents probably just sat around eating pizza and drinking beer; maybe even playing that popular drinking game The Devil’s Triangle.

There were several witnesses and people who claimed that Brett Kavanaugh lied under oath who were completely ignored by the probe. Why? Because this is a rush to justice by the hypocritical Republicans who can never admit they’re wrong on anything or anybody. They could easily nominate someone else who isn’t such a lightning rod, but no…that would be admitting defeat to a bunch of liberals. Kavanaugh will be a reliable cog in the conservative seizure of power in the nation.

So is this shameful Kavanaugh inquiry what we can expect from the Mueller FBI probe? Will Mueller finally come out and say ‘nothing to see here, folks’, after a year and a half of leading people on that there was malfeasance by Trump during the 2016 election? We’ve just about lost any shred of respect for supposedly venerable institutions of law, order and justice in this country. In America, there is shamefully only justice for the elite, well connected people with money, wealth and influence; namely Republicans in the vein of Brett Kavanaugh. The system is truly broken.

P.S. We recommend going to a chiropractor, Jeff Flake, since you seem to have a colossal problem with your spine. We knew your posturing for the FBI investigation was nothing but political theater. Way to stand up for women, you phony, feckless coward! We look forward to you leaving the Senate next year.

Since the scope of the FBI investigation is limited to pizza and beer by Donald Trump, agents research the drinking game Devil's Triangle.

FBI agents diligently perform research into the more intricate aspects of the Brett Kavanaugh investigation, like eating pizza and drinking beer.