Archive for March 26, 2020

The Virus Whisperer

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump ratcheted up his audacity to yet another level of absurdity this past week. Upset that his precious stock market gains were being erased by the coronavirus, our grown-up Bart Simpson President proclaimed that things will officially be back to normal by Easter, which caused countless simultaneous facepalms by health professionals throughout the world. This shouldn’t be surprising since Trump was pretty pissed off that Hurricane Dorian changed course last year and made dear Leader look bad.

Trump’s colossal ego and narcissism is not only boundless but dangerous. His delusion that he’s somehow on equal footing as scientists and doctors produced a drastic result this past week as an Arizona man died taking chloroquine phosphate, a derivative of an anti-malaria drug cholorquine that Trump touted as being a possible cure for coronavirus, which again prompted a multitude of facepalms from science professionals. You can’t just tell a virus what to do no more than you can tell a hurricane what to do, but don’t tell that to ‘master scientist’ Trump. Apparently, he thinks he’s some kind of virus whisperer. Fortunately, Dr. Anthony Fauci, one the country’s leading disease experts and a member of Trump’s coronavirus team, stepped up and said that the virus makes the timeline not humans. We’re predicting that with that kind of attitude toward facts, truth and honesty, Dr. Fauci may not be on Trump’s team much longer.

Trump’s choice of Easter is also very telling of another group in his base that he’s trying to appease; the evangelical christians. Remember: he’s got holier-than-thou rapture freaks Mike Pence, Mike Pompeo and Bill Barr in his administration. What better symbolism could you ask for than having America reborn from a horrible scourge on Easter, the day Jesus ‘resurrected from the dead’. Trump says he even wants to pack the churches with the faithful to celebrate. As we mentioned in our last post, we have no doubt Trump will politicize the coronavirus for the upcoming election. If everything appears to be fine by Easter then he will proclaim it to be an ‘Easter miracle’ and he will appear even more like ‘the chosen one’ to his brain dead zombie followers.

Actually, we have no problem with Trumpty Dumpty’s plan of packing the churches on Easter. Just ignore stories of pastors who thought coronavirus was a hoax and died or an entire congregation who met at a church event resulting in three dozens infections. It’s just fake news. Trump knows best. If Trump’s MAGA supporters want to defy doctors and scientists and gather together and spread the COVID-19 to other sheeple in the flock, then we here at the Bucket say go right ahead. Let Jesus take the wheel. When you get sick, just don’t go to the ‘evil’ scientists or doctors for help; just hunker down and pray to God or Donald Trump to be magically cured. Yeah . . . that will work well.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it's killing and endangering innocent people, but because it's lowering his precious stock market gains.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it’s killing and endangering innocent people, but because it’s lowering his precious stock market gains.

Coronavirusing The Election

The coronavirus pandemic has brought out the strangeness of humanity. On one hand you have the Italian people singing from balconies in a touching effort to stay connected with each other. On the other hand, for some strange reason, people are hoarding toilet paper and acting like this is the apocalypse, which has now caused problems with the sewers in California with people using alternatives. The stock market has lost just about all its gains from the Trump era. Not only that, Republicans are somehow embracing socialism, proposing sending every American one thousand dollars to deal with the crisis.

While Covid-19 has wreaked havoc on the world, Vladimir Putin has pulled strings in Russia so that he will remain President until 2036. Hell, let’s just call this what it is: President-for-life(a.k.a.dictator) . . . and quite possibly even after his death (we’re sure he’ll find a way). This is hardly the actions of a healthy democracy now is it. Speaking of healthy, Russia seems to avoiding coronavirus surprisingly well. Hmmmmmm….

Yet we have no doubt that America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump is green with envy about his man crush Putin. Trumpty Dumpty has hinted on more than one occasion about how being ‘president for life’ would be a wonderful thing for America. The Republicans have been working feverishly to enact voter suppression laws across America. Last week we saw that fear of coronavirus kept some people away from primaries and many states are even postponing their presidential primary elections. Reports have indicated that Covid-19 may come in waves so that we will have to be on guard until next year. Could it be that Trump, in an effort to keep power, cancels the 2020 election due to a serious coronavirus wave outbreak? If it sounds evil and vile, then you can bet Republicans are probably going to do it. The Republican-led Senate just gave Trump a free pass on impeachment despite him being guilty as hell, thus suspending rule of law, checks and balances and democracy. So, Trump can do whatever he wants. Republicans under Bush tried to create a perpetual war with its war on terrorism after 9/11. Now with many waves of coronavirus possible and the American public panicking like never before, Republicans will absolutely politicize the hell of it because if there’s one thing the GOP knows how to do, it’s fearmonger.

Keep the sheeple scared and keep ’em away from the polls! Yep, Trump’s definitely angling to join the President for Life club with his pal Vlad and his Republican sycophants are no doubt going to do their damnedest to try and make it happen.

Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America's Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals that he'll just cancel the 2020 election so that he will be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals a plan that will enable him to be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Our Simpson-esque Man Child Dictator

We received this week for the umpty-ninth time of the Trump administration a glaring colossal reason why America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump should not be re-elected. In a televised speech to the nation, Trumpty Dumpty in typical Trumpian fashion failed to admit any fault in his response to the coronavirus and instead of calming the nerves of people worldwide, prompted more panic as stock markets again plunged Thursday morning. That’s almost an 8,000 point drop since mid February, folks; basically erasing any stock market gains since 2017. And remember: the ‘strength’ of the stock market was supposedly Trump’s mightiest accomplishment. Ooops!

A hallmark of the Trump presidency is that he constantly boasts how everybody loves him, what a stable genius he is and that ‘some people’ proclaim that he’s the greatest president in history. This monstrous narcissism was on display last week at a press conference at the CDC where our orange-haired megalomaniac blathered on about how a relative of his was a ‘super-genius’ and how scientists were coming up and telling him how smart he was and that he’s got ‘a natural ability’. Scientist, doctors and engineers around the world collectively vomited at this point. Trump’s vanity and ego truly know no bounds!

We’ve noted Trump’s resemblance to perpetual cartoon brat back in 2016 when we did a photo-toon explaining the 2016 election, Simpsons style with Hillary Clinton as Lisa and Trump as Bart. Trump’s constant boasting over the last three years reminds us of a classic episode of the Simpsons in Season 4 (Lisa’s First Word) when a little two year old Bart paraded around the house banging a pot proclaiming to all within earshot “I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me! I am so great!” Or here’s a hilarious 10 minute loop of Bart’s proclamation. (We’ve also embedded the vids below.) Gee, sound familiar? Yes, our Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump certainly does bear a striking resemblance to rotten little imp Bart Simpson. Cowabunga, dude!

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, bears a striking resemblance to rotten, little imp Bart Simpson from the Simpsons and has even adopted walking around proclaiming loudly to all how great he is.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, bears a striking resemblance to rotten, little imp Bart Simpson from the Simpsons and has even adopted walking around proclaiming loudly to all how great he is.
Donald Trump proclaiming his greatness to all.
Donald Trump perpetually proclaiming his greatness.

Rewind: A Promise Too Far

The 2020 presidential election has become clearer in the past week with the results of Super Tuesday. Joe Biden won a clear victory and is now the front runner with Bernie Sanders not too far behind in second place. Michael Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar have bowed out and given their support to Biden. Unfortunately, for all Americans, Elizabeth Warren, the smartest candidate running in this election, has also called it quits. So, basically it’s a two horse race between a couple senior citizens; one a corporatist, one a social democrat. We’ve got the funny feeling that once again, despite having a myriad of social programs(Medicare, Social Security, etc…) already in place, Americans are still having a collective brain fart on social democracy and socialism.

Honestly, we prefer the Warren-Sanders wing of the Democrat Party. However, although we here at the Bucket are progressive independents, we are voting for whomever the Democratic nominee is, just like we have for the past twenty-eight years. Just look at the Trump administration in addition to the Bush administration (not to mention the first Bush and the Reagan administrations) and you’ll understand why we’ll never vote for another Republican as long as we live. But we’ve been around long enough to know that Joe Biden is not the perfect candidate. Let’s face it, folks; Biden likes to bullshit and he’s a big time gaffe master. If there’s a chance he’ll stick his foot in his mouth or tell embarrassing tall tales, he will. Back in 2008 when Obama named Biden his VP, we collectively slapped our foreheads and said “Oh, oh!” But thankfully, Biden turned out to be a commendable Vice President. He is a good, honorable man who will do the right thing for all Americans. But, he will also do and say some stupid things along the way, guaranteed. So, don’t let the conservative corporate media or Fox News Republican propaganda machine fool you. Yes, Biden’s having senior moments, but then again Trumpty Dumpty is outpacing Uncle Joe on that front by a country mile. Donald Trump is by the far the WORST choice for America and the world and he proves it on a daily basis.

Here’s a photo-toon from our March 7, 2009 issue, where Obama assures the American populace that Biden will not insert his foot into his mouth while Uncle Joe has some reservations about that prospect.

President Obama may have made one promise he can't keep. concerning Vice President and gaffe master Joe Biden.
President Obama may have made one promise he can’t keep.

Just Pray The Virus Away

Once again the Trump administration has trolled the world, this time with its response to the coronavirus breakout which has infected 90,000 worldwide. The stock market has also had a roller coaster ride the last two weeks, with daily swings of at least 800 points seemingly every day. We mentioned a few posts ago, we think the media is sensationalizing things just like they did in the past fifty years with the swine flu, MERS, SARS and Ebola. You know the old corporate media adage: if it bleeds, it leads; if it can scare, then we care. With every one of these breakouts, which were supposed to be the next plague, scientists were able to get things under control – using science – and a true pandemic crisis was averted. Education, prevention, proper hygiene, listening to the scientific experts and lack of panic are key elements in battling any potential medical emergency.

So who does America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, choose to be his coronavirus czar? None other than Mr. Anti-Science himself, Vice President Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence. Pence doesn’t accept evolution as fact, folks. He believes in the biblical explanation of creation and he also is one of the rapture cultists along with Mike Pompeo who have infiltrated the executive branch. He probably even doubts gravity exists. So what will be Puritan Pence’s solution to the crisis? We have no doubt that there will be a heaping helping of prayer involved. We’ve already seen evangelical nutbag Jim Bakker push his cure all elixir on his bible thumping show. Could Pence push something like this to Trump’s sheeple followers? Hey, there’s money to be made from these rubes and as we all know, Trump loves the green stuff. So, you betcha.

We’re also positive that Trump could care less about the coronavirus or its victims. His only concern is how to use it politically so he can get re-elected. So, if the breakout does actually become a pandemic, then he can blame Puritan Pence. If the breakout turns out to be like Ebola in 2014, then he can blame the media for over-hyping the situation, which he’s already doing. Either way, Trump has set himself up not to be the fall guy, in typical Trumpian fashion; nothing is ever his fault. And more importantly for the power hungry, authoritarian GOP, his path to re-election is clear and unobstructed. No wonder the conservative Republicans love him; they’ve never accepted responsibility for anything in the last sixty years, other than tax cuts to their plutocrat overlords.

Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike 'Puritan Pants' Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.
Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.

GOP Ventriloquist Theater

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s revenge vendetta is still going strong following his sham acquittal during his impeachment ‘trial’ in the Senate. Now, our orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House is using mafioso tactics using the Department of Justice as his muscle to enforce whatever the Don wants.

Chief among the controversial, authoritarian tactics is the brow beating of prosecutors to get his pal and major conehead Roger Stone a reduced sentence for seven counts of lying to Congress and witness tampering. The original prosecutors suggested a seven to nine year sentence, but thanks to Trump’s rage tweeting and Attorney General Bill Barr’s intervention, Stone got just a forty month sentence. Trump’s also pardoned several high profile, white collar criminals such as former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, junk bond king Michael Milken, tax cheat and Rudy Giuliani pal Bernie Kerik and Medicare fraudster Judith Negron.

What’s even more dubious is the political theater performed by the Trump administration trotting out Bill Barr to act like a put upon Attorney General who has, gosh darn it, just about had enough, to which master ventriloquist Trumpty Dumpty dismissed the criticism stating that he has a ‘legal right’ to meddle in DOJ cases. This ventriloquist act reminds us of the crap Cheney did with Dubya back during the Bush administration (you know Cheney was pulling the strings during the Bush administration). This lame ass performance is fooling only sycophantic Republican senators like Lisa Murkowski, Lamar Alexander and Susan Collins, who are convinced that Trump has learned his lesson and will be a good boy from now on. Alexander is not running for re-election and Murkowski’s seat isn’t up until 2022. But we’re hoping that the good citizens of Maine have learned their lesson and will choose to send the oft ‘concerned’ and addled Collins to a retirement home come this November.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as 'concerned' Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as ‘concerned’ Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.