Archive for Grand Old Plutocrats

Australia On The Barbie

These are trying times not just for the United States, but for the entire world. Tensions are high in the Middle East with America’s assassination of Iran’s general Qassem Soleimani and Iran’s retaliatory attack on U.S. bases in Iraq, not to mention Iran’s accidental shooting down of a commercial airliner. There is the impeachment saga of Donald Trump and his continuing attempts with help from his flying monkey lackeys in the Senate at distracting Americans (see Iran attack).

But probably the most gut wrenching events happening now are the wildfires in Australia. We’re environmentalists here at the Bucket and it’s depressing to see the loss of so much wildlife to these raging fires, which are exacerbated by climate change. Estimates are that possibly one billion animals have been killed by the conflagrations which are consuming wide swaths of eastern Australia. Some threatened species like the tiny dunnart, potoroo and glossy black-cockatoo are being pushed to the brink of extinction. The damage is devastating and heartbreaking.

But the most frustrating thing about it is that the conservative leaders in Australia, much like their conservative counterpart Republicans in the United States are big time climate change deniers. Prime Minister Scott Morrison has received a boatload of flack for his handling of the crisis. He actually took a vacation to Hawaii while Australian citizens grappled with the fires. Of course, Morrison blamed it all on a “breakdown in communications”. He was also roundly booted from a town in New South Wales where citizens, fed up with the government inaction, heckled him thus driving him away from their town. In our estimation, Morrison deserves every bit of criticism. His and other corporatists attitude is to protect the fossil fuel industries at all cost and to ignore the obvious results of climate change, flippantly dismissing bushfires as something Australia always have had, this year it’s just a little more severe. But Australia’s summer temperatures have broken records for the last several years and the hot, dry air is only making the bushfires that much worse.

The crisis is real and Australia is in danger of losing not only its unique land wildlife but also its diverse sea life as well. The Great Barrier Reef is also in tremendous peril. The leaders of the world need to stop being greedy and consumed by materialism and the pursuit of capitalistic wealth. Like we’ve said over and over here, there is no planet B! If the living plants and creatures on this world die, we die! Since humans have commandeered this planet, it’s our responsibility as its ‘smartest’ species to make sure all life survives. Capitalism is killing life on this planet. It’s time for our leaders to pull their greedy fricking heads out of their greedy fricking asses and pass laws, a.k.a regulations, against polluting industries throughout the world.

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.
Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Nobody Knows The Trouble Trump’s Seen

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been impeached by the Democratic controlled House of Representatives and the Republicans are in full, whiny, crybaby persecution mode. They’ve done everything from having a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Trump in 2016 (what about the 66 million who voted for Clinton or the 8 million who voted for third party candidates!) to one GOP congressman from Georgia actually comparing Trump’s impeachment to the trials and tribulations of Jesus. Jesus Christ!!! What a load of malarkey!!!!

We’ve droned on forever about how hypocritical the evangelical, conservative christian sheeple are for supporting Trump but this takes the cake. At least one christian magazine has come forward and openly supports impeaching the orange-haired megalomaniac. Maybe, just maybe, this will start a backlash that will start christians waking up and realizing that Trump is nothing more than a golden calf. Yeah right!!! But hey, it’s the supposedly ‘magical’ holiday season – we can dream can’t we!

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.

Wooly Bully

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump blew a gasket this past week and it wasn’t about impeachment. Time magazine awarded its Person of the Year award to teenage environmental activist Greta Thunberg, who boldly pleaded with and shamed world leaders this past year for not doing more about climate change or basically screwing up the place for future generations. This did not sit well with Trump who tweeted that Thunberg needed to go to anger management classes(pot calling the kettle black) and chill out at a movie with a friend.

Miss Thunberg handled the controversy like the champ she is. She changed her twitter bio to read, “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.” So let’s recap: The President of the United States bullies a teenager and then gets completely outclassed in every way possible by the teenager. Yes, Greta Thunberg is living rent free, 24/7 inside Trump’s ‘very, very large brain’.

Adding to the hypocrisy, First Lady Melania Trump, who threw a hissy fit last week during the impeachment hearing when Barron Trump’s first name was briefly mentioned, has no problem with her husband mocking a teenager stating that Thunberg is a public persona who gives speeches. So much for that ‘anti-bullying crusader’ bullshit! Still proud of the completely moral and christ-like Trumps, you hypocrital, conservative christian Republicans?

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump with blessings from his 'anti-bullying crusader' wife Melania proceeds to bully the hell out of teenage activist and Time Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, who calmly and effortlessly outclasses the petulant, orange-haired man child and his gold-digging plagiarist spouse.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump with blessings from his ‘anti-bullying crusader’ wife Melania proceeds to bully the hell out of teenage activist and Time Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, who calmly and effortlessly outclasses the petulant, orange-haired man child and his gold-digging plagiarist spouse.

The Trump Memorial

As the impeachment investigation rolls on, a disturbing piece of news bubbled to the top of the news cycle last week, (as if the last three years haven’t been disturbing enough). Apparently, in a recent poll, over 50% of Republicans perceive that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is a better president than the very first Republican president Abraham Lincoln, who most historians rank as the best president in the history of the United States. This is clear evidence that the conservative Republicans enabling and propping up Trump, especially the evangelical sheeple, are indeed cult-like in their devotion of this modern day golden calf and are seriously deranged. We’ll put this in a simple, blunt, concise statement. There’s no f*cking way Trump is even close to being better than Lincoln!!! Are you f*cking kidding!!!

We think it’s interesting to note that when Trump began his clusterf*ck of a presidency, he proclaimed himself to be like Andrew Jackson. Lincoln’s predecessor, James Buchanan, who served as Jackson’s ambassador to Russia in 1831, also idolized Jackson as a strong chief executive when he won the presidency in 1856. But Buchanan ended up being the worst president in this nation’s history and his incompetent actions, or inactions, led to a bloody Civil War which tore this nation apart for four years with repercussions that lasted well into the 20th century. Trump’s actions have also greatly divided this nation and has made the United States a laughingstock of the world. But the always egotistical Trump has openly suggested another Civil War if he is impeached and many of his armed, pliant supporters are ready to take action. So Trump is much closer to being like James Buchanan, the worst, than Abraham Lincoln, the best.

The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.

Soulless Capitalism

Facebook’s CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently came under fire for stating that he won’t fact check political ads in the upcoming 2020 election thus clearing the way for possibly more election interference from foreign agents. The Mueller report clearly stated that dubious foreign entities played a part in the 2016 election by disseminating false information on social media sites and even hacking into some election systems in Florida. To her credit, Elizabeth Warren challenged Zuckerberg by purposely running a fake news ad on Facebook to draw attention to what a serious problem this is for democracy.

We shouldn’t be surprised though. We’ve commented before about how unregulated capitalism (a.k.a. no laws to check corporations or corporate power) breeds colossal amounts of greed, avarice, selfishness and corruption. We’ve become a SEGUMUCA nation. More people than ever are trying to get rich quick using whatever possible method, even if it’s illegal. Just watch some episodes of American Greed. It’s enough to make you sick. Capitalism is nothing more than indirect cannibalism.

So Mark Zuckerberg is no different than Donald Trump or any greedy capitalist serving in his administration(Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin, etc…) or unethical Republican in the House or Senate who looks the other way while Trump commits crime after crime. They worship the almighty buck and will support all others with the same money-grubbing, materialistic mindset. These callous automatons are only interested in our data so they can make more money off of us schmucks in the middle class who do all the work. And right now, these greedy, soulless capitalists are in complete control of this nation.

Truth and justice don't matter to today's capitalists like Mark Zuckerberg; they're only interested in your data and your money.
Truth and justice don’t matter to today’s capitalists like Mark Zuckerberg; they’re only interested in your data and your money.

WWTD: What Would Trump Do?

As more and more information comes to the forefront in the House’s impeachment investigation, it appears that instead of re-evaluating their support for America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and seeing the light, Trump supporters, especially those of the evangelical variety, seem to be doubling down in their almost cult-like worship of a man who is the epitome of the golden calf mentioned in the old testament of the bible. Seriously, folks . . . Jesus’ preaching smacked of socialism and yet people choose the greedy capitalist who likes to grab women by the pussy as they’re new savior?

So why are these supposedly holy people supporting the polar opposite of their lord and savior Jesus Christ? Good question. Here at the Bucket, we’ve been completely baffled for the last four years. Could it just be that they love ‘owning the libs’? How can evangelicals support bashing skulls in the name of Jesus? This one article asserts that modern evangelicals reject the reality based world in the 21st century – you know, facts, logic, reasoning and the worst taboo of all, science – and whole-heartedly embrace the world presented to them by Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network and Donald Trump. As we’ve noted here before, it’s a fusion of Nazism, corporatism and christian theocracy, a holy trinity of authoritarianism if you will, which is creating the Holy Corporate Empire in which we now live in. Thus, there is the cult-like following of the evangelicals, especially in the rural areas of the South and Midwest, who are wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.

Unfortunately, even if Trump gets impeached, it may be quite a dilemma to remove him from office. Trump supporters, like this one MLB umpire, are even crowing that they’ll actually take up arms. Thus, we have no doubt that Trumpies from all across the nation could very well take to the streets and use thuggery and the word of Trump to impose their will on the nation. Onward christian thugs: praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

Some red state Republican voters discuss how truly christlike Donald Trump is and ponder forcefully spreading his word to some unsuspecting immigrants.
Some red state Republican voters discuss how truly christlike Donald Trump is and ponder forcefully spreading his word to some unsuspecting immigrants.

Quid Pro Quos Are Good…mmmmkay

The impeachment inquiry has been formalized and the Republicans continue to stonewall despite admission by the Trump administration that there was a quid pro quo. Acting Chief of Staff/Trump babysitter Mick Mulvaney confessed to one before Halloween. The conservative Republican winged monkeys have been scrambling ever since to try and cover their asses on Mulvaney’s gaffe. The Mickster tried to walk back his statement trying to tell people that they didn’t hear what they heard. How Orwellian! Even Chris Wallace from Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network called him on his lying. Now the whole mantra from the GOP seems to be that there’s nothing wrong with a quid pro quo. How typically Republican: it’s okay when we do it.

We couldn’t help but notice while Mulvaney bumbled, sweated and strained in front of the press, telling them to ‘get over’ the quid pro quo, that with his bulbous, balding head, whiny expressions and round glasses he resembles the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey. He’s even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”

OMB director, carnival barker, corporate lackey, and acting Chief of Staff/babysitter, Mick Mulvaney, bears a striking resemblance to the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey and has even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”
OMB director, carnival barker, corporate lackey, and acting Chief of Staff/babysitter, Mick Mulvaney, bears a striking resemblance to the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey and has even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”

The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine

The impeachment inquiry rolls on and more disturbing evidence is surfacing about America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s shakedown on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for information about Democratic rival and former Obama administration Vice President Joe Biden. Damning testimonies like those of William B. Taylor portray our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House as some kind of mafioso wise guy trying to put the screws to Zelensky whose country needs help from western NATO nations but is also being squeezed from the east by Putin’s Russia.

The whole operation sounds fubarred from the very beginning. Supposedly, Trump’s carny barker and chief of staff Mick Mulvaney brought in the Donald’s three amigos, or in this case, the three stooges to coordinate the action. Slick Mick thought that Kurt Volker, Gordon Sondland and Rick Perry could convince various people in the Ukraine to arrange a deal for information on Joe Biden’s son Hunter’s business dealings which might help Trump in the 2020 election. Volker and Sondland have both testified before the House with Sondland stating that there was some kind of quid pro quo involved.

The really funny thing about this is that Rudy ‘Captain Colludiani’ Giuliani became involved with his now arrested henchman Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, who look like they came directly from central casting, and allegedly used them to try and dig up dirt on Biden, thus fubarring the operation even more. Add Mick Mulvaney’s confession of a quid pro quo agreement and impeachment is looking now like a done deal even without the ten cases of obstruction laid out by the Mueller report. (Helpful reminder and hint: the Mueller report wasn’t a witch hunt because it produced 37 indictments. We repeat 37 INDICTMENTS!!! Please, corporate media – mention this FACT next time poor, little victim Trump cries that he is being persecuted or lynched!)

Which is why Trump desperately tried a little tail wagging the dog action this past weekend by announcing that terrorist ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi  was killed by special op forces. This is a good thing and we should be able to pat Trump on the back. . . but he made it impossible to do even that. In true Trumpian fashion, he made the operation all about him. He bragged about the killing and morbidly regaled the press with how al-Baghdadi cried and died like a dog. Many people have even compared Obama’s address when Osama bin Laden was killed to Trump’s and well. . . there’s no comparison: Obama is the adult and Trump is the arrogant, spoiled little child looking for attention. Trump even got royally booed at game 5 of the Astros-Nationals World Series as the crowd broke into chants of “Lock him up!” Oh, the irony! So Trump’s little distraction action failed miserably and it looks like Nancy Pelosi is bringing forth a vote to formalize the impeachment inquiries.

But at least we can enjoy Donald Trump’s latest film about all the hilarious hijinx that happened (or didn’t happen) The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine, featuring, of course, the very best people: Kurt Volker as Larry, Gordon Sondland as Curly, Rick Perry as Moe and Rudy Giuliani as Captain Colludiani, rated I for Impeachable.

The Three Stooges - Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.
The Three Stooges – Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.