We think that sanctimonious Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to another little bible thumper from the ’60s: little Davey from the Davey and Goliath stop motion claymation puppet show that preached the bible to kids every Sunday morning. Little Davey, along with his dog Goliath and his holier-than-thou family shoved their religion down every child’s throat. Just watch some of these old shows, especially the ‘lost episode’ about the Polka Dot Tie. The cringe is massive. And now America has a little Davey second in line for the Presidency. May Zeus help us all!
We’re still kind of in our malaise here at the Bucket but can you blame us. Geez, look at all the crap that’s happening right now: Russia’s war against Ukraine, the coronavirus’ war against all humans, the Republicans war against democracy and . . . drum roll please . . . the Republicans war against women.
We’ve commented before about Cotton. He has the charisma of a wet diaper but he is way smarter than TFG. Would he stand a chance in 2024? We’ve seen that the Republican base will support even a jackass like TFG, so yes he would. Democrats should be wary of this Cletus Spuckler doppelganger because he would be just as ruthless as Trump and he has the intelligence to turn the United States into fascist nation or the Holy Corporate Empire.
However, the real star of the VP debate was the fly that landed on Mike Pence’s head midway through the debate. But this fly was no ordinary fly. This scene stealing ‘Super Fly’ stayed put for almost two minutes while Pence rambled on with his propaganda and drivel. It’s become an internet sensation. We here at the Bucket noticed that the image of the fly on Mike Pence bore an uncanny resemblance to a fly on a pile of shit. The similarities are remarkable. We’re sure some alt-right, QAnon nut job will come up with some conspiracy theory that good ol’ Super Fly was some kind a miniature drone built by the Democrats in order to make Mike Pence look bad. Sorry, conservative wing nuts; old Puritan Pence is quite capable of looking bad all by himself.
We couldn’t help but notice while Mulvaney bumbled, sweated and strained in front of the press, telling them to ‘get over’ the quid pro quo, that with his bulbous, balding head, whiny expressions and round glasses he resembles the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey. He’s even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”
But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.
The mask has been removed from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and as it turns out, it doesn’t seem that he’s not all that committed to rule of law as his title may imply. Many details have come to light about how Rosenstein had to walk a political tightrope to mollify our petulant, man child CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump. And he even became angry at the press for treating Trump unfairly. Oh, boo-hoo! You’re supposed to uphold the law and instead you let Trump piss all over the constitution. As one ex-DOJ critic summarized, Rosenstein was weak. “He shouldn’t be talking to the president about an investigation into the president under any circumstances and he shouldn’t be giving him assurances about how that investigation will end and he especially shouldn’t be doing it at a time when he’s begging and pleading for his own job… The way to understand Rod is he’s weak, and he’s always been weak. He was weak at the beginning of this investigation when he signed off on the Comey firing and gave the president the excuse, despite––we now know, having read the Mueller report––that he knew why the president was firing Comey, that it was over the Russia investigation.”
So what can we conclude from his testimony? That America’s Attorney General is quite a trolling con artist and not as just and proper as his supporters claim he is. The Mueller report lasted 2 years and cost the taxpayers almost 5 million dollars. So you no what? Americans have a right to see every bit of that report. We paid for it, we get to see every sentence, every word and every period…NO REDACTIONS!!!
We here at the Bucket also noticed that the corpulent Attorney General bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon troublemaker Peter Griffin from the animated sitcom Family Guy. But don’t worry folks: Bill Barr is only trolling America for fun and profit – heh-heh-heh-heh.
Tucker Carlson, ‘journalist’ at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network and man with a perpetual brain fart. recently got himself in a lot of hot water. It seems that…brace yourselves…the Tuckwad is a bit of a white nationalist. Media Matters uncovered audio of Tucktard’s appearance on the Bubba the Love Sponge show (you can’t make this stuff up) and ol’ Tucknuts let loose with a torrent of misogynistic and racist gems. What’s more, in true Trumpian fashion, he has refused to apologize for them. Of course, this isn’t shocking to anybody who’s been paying attention since 2004. We’ve made note of his ‘journalistic integrity’ before (here and here).
We’re old-timers here at the Bucket and we remember another thinking impaired person from Mel Brooks’ classic comedy Blazing Saddles, the town simpleton Mongo. Yes, Tucker Carlson could easily be mistaken for him with the befuddled, eternally constipated look on his face. Mongo’s famous mantra could even be updated for the former bow-tie wearing douchebag: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”
Fox News ‘journalist’ and man with a perpetual brain fart, Tucker Carlson, bears a striking resemblance to another thinking impaired simpleton, Mongo from the 1970s Mel Brooks classic movie, Blazing Saddles and has even updated his famous mantra: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”
But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.
Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.