Archive for Separated At Birth

Putin’s Puppet’s Puppet

Former Trump advisor, lackey and puppet, Omarosa Manigault Newman has captured the attention of the nation this past week with the release of her new book and tapes of the many lies told by the many liars who reside in the Trump administration. While we’re enjoying the barrage of leaks about this disastrous presidency, we’re also incredibly skeptical of Omarosa’s statements. Let’s be clear here – she’s a self-aggrandizing, obnoxious, mendacious, attention whore just like everyone else in the Trump White House including the orange haired man child. When she claims that Trump was eating paper like a spy out of espionage thriller… well… we have our doubts. Especially when she was such a colossal sycophant to Trump while she worked in the White House and praised him on the 2016 campaign trail.

Of course, now that Omarosa has switched teams, Trump, who once praised her, now vilifies her and has sicked his minions to attack her. Which brings us to Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s Queen of Alternative Facts, who recently emerged from her liars lair to spin lies and deception to protect Trump. Last week Conway denied that Trump was racist but yet had a hard time naming any staff members who were African-American. Omarosa’s leaked tapes seemed to have nullified this  particular claim. This week, Conway’s domestic troubles with her husband, who is strongly anti-Trump, have surfaced. Every time Conway opens her mouth, lies spew forth like a geyser of misinformation.

We’ve noticed that Trump’s puppet of alternative facts bears a striking resemblance to another puppet: from the 1970s, Wayland Flowers’ Madame.  Slap a turban on Conway’s head and load up the blue eye shadow and … Voila! We just wish Conway was as enjoyable as Madame was.

The Queen of Alternative Facts, Donald Trump's principal prevaricator puppet, Kellyanne Conway, bears a striking resemblance to Wayland Flower's beloved puppet from the 1970s, Madame.

The Queen of Alternative Facts, Donald Trump’s principal prevaricator puppet, Kellyanne Conway, bears a striking resemblance to Wayland Flower’s beloved puppet from the 1970s, Madame.

Melania: We Don’t Care About You Anymore

Believe it or not, we’ve got standards here at the Bucket. We usually don’t poke fun at the family of a politician unless they themselves are politicians. We did have fun with the Bush twins(they were adults) and Laura Bush during Dubya’s regime and likewise with Michelle Obama. But Sasha and Malia were off limits as is Barron Trump. We did do one photo-toon with Trump’s children Eric, Donald Jr. and Ivanka, but again, they are adults. We also aren’t going to waste our time mocking them because…quite frankly…they aren’t worth it.

We’ve refrained from poking fun at First Lady Melania Trump because she seems to be truly miserable in her current position. Of all the Trumps, she seemed to be the one person who maybe, just maybe had a heart. We thought that until last week proved otherwise…hugely.

As she took off to visit the immigration camps last week, she chose to wear a jacket which had emblazoned on its back “I don’t really care, do u?” Now, Ms. Trump is really rich. She’s got tons of jackets from which to choose. This should’ve been a no-brainer. But apparently she’s as cold and ruthless as her husband. She could have chosen a less offensive item of clothing. But no. She chose to be a troll. Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt would’ve warn a jacket like that? Do you think the recently deceased Barbara Bush would’ve worn a jacket like that? No – of course not. They were human beings. Well, we’ve decided to take Melania off our personal do-not-disturb list and reward her for her truly ugly display of intolerance. We think, because of her action, she resembles a horse’s ass. But honestly, the horse’s ass wears that jacket much better.

Dear Melania Trump: We don't care about you anymore. P.S. The horse's ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Dear Melania Trump: We don’t care about you anymore. P.S. The horse’s ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Giuliani: The Melting Man

Former mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani has returned to the spotlight recently and just as quickly may be returning to oblivion. Giuliani was hired to be on America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump’s legal team after Ty Cobb resigned. Giuliani immediately stuck his foot in his big mouth by making the rounds in the media and stating that Trump did pay back the hush money to Michael Cohen that he doled out to porn actress Stormy Daniels, which promptly proves that Trump lied about not knowing anything about hush money payments. In each of Giuliani’s television appearances, he appeared completely out of sorts, yelling at times and appearing completely bamboozled and lost. We think the term ‘meltdown’ is very appropriate. He reminded us of the famous face melting scene of Major Arnold Toht in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Of course, we’ve never really understood why Giuliani was so popular. True, he was mayor of New York during 9/11 and he displayed a calmness through the resulting tumult that was reassuring. But beyond that…zilch. He always seemed like a bit of a mobster and he’s certainly acting like it now. At least he fits in with the Trump administration, which has been one embarrassing event after another since January 16, 2017. Mr. Giuliani’s media tour has been a complete fiasco. He has proven he is incompetent enough to be associated with Donald Trump. Way to go, Rudy!

Hot from his recent media meltdowns, Trump lawyer Rudy Guliani bears a striking resemblance to the melty face Major Arnold Toht from the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Hot from his recent media meltdowns, Trump lawyer Rudy Guliani bears a striking resemblance to the melty face Major Arnold Toht from the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.