Archive for Trump Comix

The Virus Whisperer

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump ratcheted up his audacity to yet another level of absurdity this past week. Upset that his precious stock market gains were being erased by the coronavirus, our grown-up Bart Simpson President proclaimed that things will officially be back to normal by Easter, which caused countless simultaneous facepalms by health professionals throughout the world. This shouldn’t be surprising since Trump was pretty pissed off that Hurricane Dorian changed course last year and made dear Leader look bad.

Trump’s colossal ego and narcissism is not only boundless but dangerous. His delusion that he’s somehow on equal footing as scientists and doctors produced a drastic result this past week as an Arizona man died taking chloroquine phosphate, a derivative of an anti-malaria drug cholorquine that Trump touted as being a possible cure for coronavirus, which again prompted a multitude of facepalms from science professionals. You can’t just tell a virus what to do no more than you can tell a hurricane what to do, but don’t tell that to ‘master scientist’ Trump. Apparently, he thinks he’s some kind of virus whisperer. Fortunately, Dr. Anthony Fauci, one the country’s leading disease experts and a member of Trump’s coronavirus team, stepped up and said that the virus makes the timeline not humans. We’re predicting that with that kind of attitude toward facts, truth and honesty, Dr. Fauci may not be on Trump’s team much longer.

Trump’s choice of Easter is also very telling of another group in his base that he’s trying to appease; the evangelical christians. Remember: he’s got holier-than-thou rapture freaks Mike Pence, Mike Pompeo and Bill Barr in his administration. What better symbolism could you ask for than having America reborn from a horrible scourge on Easter, the day Jesus ‘resurrected from the dead’. Trump says he even wants to pack the churches with the faithful to celebrate. As we mentioned in our last post, we have no doubt Trump will politicize the coronavirus for the upcoming election. If everything appears to be fine by Easter then he will proclaim it to be an ‘Easter miracle’ and he will appear even more like ‘the chosen one’ to his brain dead zombie followers.

Actually, we have no problem with Trumpty Dumpty’s plan of packing the churches on Easter. Just ignore stories of pastors who thought coronavirus was a hoax and died or an entire congregation who met at a church event resulting in three dozens infections. It’s just fake news. Trump knows best. If Trump’s MAGA supporters want to defy doctors and scientists and gather together and spread the COVID-19 to other sheeple in the flock, then we here at the Bucket say go right ahead. Let Jesus take the wheel. When you get sick, just don’t go to the ‘evil’ scientists or doctors for help; just hunker down and pray to God or Donald Trump to be magically cured. Yeah . . . that will work well.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it's killing and endangering innocent people, but because it's lowering his precious stock market gains.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it’s killing and endangering innocent people, but because it’s lowering his precious stock market gains.

Hurricane Commander

The Trump administration recently added another level to its already towering pile of preposterous bullshit it has spewed upon the American electorate in the last three years. Apparently, now meteorologists have to check with our dear leader before making any weather forecasts. Yes, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s ego is so weak and fragile that telling him he’s wrong on weather forecasts could get you fired.

It all started when Hurricane Dorian approached the Bahamas and was threatening Florida and the southeastern United States. Trump tweeted that people in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas should be aware but he also included Alabama. Now when Dorian was passing by Puerto Rico, spaghetti plots suggested that maybe Alabama would get hit. But as the cyclone approached the Bahamas days later, it became evident from the updated forecast models that Alabama was in little to no danger. The models had changed. This is when Trump sent out his infamous tweet. The National Weather Service in Alabama tweeted a correction to Trump’s tweet stating that Alabamans need not worry because they were not threatened.

Now a normal, sane human being would just say, “Oops. My bad.” and get on with life. Not Trump. No, the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House who in his warped conservative mind is never wrong and claims to be the ‘chosen one’ doubled down and presented a weather chart a few day later that had obviously been altered by a sharpie to include Alabama in the forecast’s cone of uncertainty. This touched off Sharpiegate which unfortunately has taken center stage over the death and destruction that occurred in the Bahamas due to Hurricane Dorian.

To make matters worse, an unsigned notice from admin people in NOAA(National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) popped up last week saying they were wrong to contradict the President. Apparently, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross threatened that heads would roll if the meteorologists didn’t apologize to dear leader. Of course, meteorologists, scientists and thinking intelligent humans are not accepting this at all and calls for Ross’s resignation have been inundating the White House like storm surge from a hurricane.

And then, just because he’s the biggest asshole on the planet, Trump forbade a ship full of storm survivors from the Bahamas to dock in Florida because. . . you know . . . there might be ‘very bad people’ trying to sneak in with the refugees. What a dick!

The point is that Donald Trump is so unstable that he shouldn’t be counted on for anything, even compassion for his fellow human beings. Think about it. Meteorologists have to make sure their forecasts don’t offend or contradict the President? Hurricane victims who just lost everything can’t even seek refuge within the United States? Are you kidding???!!! His incompetence isn’t funny anymore, it’s frightening. He’s a danger to this country and the planet. He is subverting democracy right under our noses. World events, like the recent Saudi Arabia attacks, are happening now that need a calm cool head, not an idiot who thinks he’s the ‘chosen one’, denies climate change yet somehow can control the weather and will never admit he’s wrong even when you shove the facts in his face. Democrats, grow a spine and do your job! IMPEACH THIS JOKER – NOW!!!

American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed 'chosen one', Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn't follow his commands.
American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn’t follow his commands.

Space Cadet Trump Of The Space Force


One of the more curious things Trump has done lately is to promote a future branch of military in outer space called the Space Force. We say curious because Trump doesn’t give a rat’s ass about science or space. The only reason he’s doing this is obvious: more distractions so that the Republican wrecking machine can keep on destroying our government. The GOP currently has their sites set on Social Security and Medicare cuts.

We’ve commented before about about space exploration. Sure, maintaining satellite safety and cleaning the ever growing field of space debris is important.  Space.com has an excellent article about whether or not a Space Force and the militarization of space is a good idea or not. We believe the exploration of space is perfect for robots, drones and other mechanical and electronic machines. But we also think that humans are not equipped to live in space and these proposals for any country to build space stations in orbit around the moon, or colonies on the moon or Mars are a colossal waste of money and a disaster waiting to happen for any nation which chooses to pursue this endeavor. Like we’ve said before in the link referenced above, the best spaceship possible is planet Earth.

We also think that in Trump’s obtuse, non-scientific mind, the idea of a Space Force is more like Star Wars, Star Trek, The Jetsons and a dash of The Simpsons all mashed together. So, we’re looking forward to more incredible space adventures from America’s ace Space Cadet, Donald Trump of the Space Force.

American CEO/Dictator and ace Space Cadet of the Space Force, Donald Trump, boldly proves that scientists are wrong and the vacuum of space is just fake news and is really full of space air.

American CEO/Dictator and ace Space Cadet, Donald Trump, promises his sheep-like followers plenty o’ space adventures in the future if they join the Space Force.