Archive for Zany Zealots

Peace Through Ineptitude

Last week, North Korea and South Korea took a huge step toward peace when North Korea’s Kim Jong Un met with South Korea’s leader Moon Jae-in in the demilitarized zone on the border between the two countries. Kim Jong Un has announced his intention to make strides toward a nuclear free Korean peninsula.

So what caused Kim Jong Un’s about face after threatening the west with nuclear annihilation for the past seven years or ever since he came to power? Well, apparently North Korea’s test facility has completely collapsed after the last test and may be unusable. So that would definitely change Kim Jong Un’s tune if he couldn’t back up his churlish threats with, you know, actual firepower. We’re thinking that’s a of lot of egg on Kim Jong Un’s face.

But what is really strange is that Trump is somehow receiving credit for the Korean peace summit. Top Republicans have even submitted his name for a Nobel Peace Prize. But what’s even more peculiar is that the United States press and media has seemingly buried the test site’s collapse. Go ahead and Google ‘north korea test site collapse’ and the latest stories all date to April 25-26, 2018. Instead of stating the obvious reason for Kim Jong Un’s sudden enthusiasm for peace, it’s letting slide the narrative that Donald Trump is responsible for ridding the Korean peninsula of nuclear weapons without even mentioning the collapsed site. We think the destroyed test site is huge! Why is this news not getting more attention by the media? Not even the late night comedians have mentioned it. Just more bizarre events in a bizarro world where Donald Trump is somehow now the world’s greatest peacekeeper.

Now that Trump has nixed the Iran deal despite urgent pleas from our allies in France, U.K. and Germany, not to, we wonder if America’s CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’ will use the same game of nuclear brinkmanship that he used with North Korea. For the sake of the planet, we certainly hope not.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he's all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/'Peace Guru', Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he’s all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’, Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

A Hair Raising Predicament

Things haven’t been going well for America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump lately. Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has been pushing forth on the Russia investigation and has impaneled a grand jury, which may or may not indicate an indictment is near. Not only that, Trump’s approval ratings continue to drop. So, as it so often goes when things go south for world leaders and they need a distraction, the one thing that can change everything around in a hurry is a war. And Trump has a very convenient obnoxious opponent waiting in the wings to give Trump a boost.

Kim Jong Un has been saber rattling…or shall we say…missile rattling ever since he came to power in 2011. He tried to rattle Obama, but failed. But Trump has a man-child mentality exactly like Kim Jong Un does (which is why Jong-Un supported Trump for President). When the North Korean leader started boasting that he was going to hit the United States, instead of a calm, even, adult response, Trump acted like any eighth grader would and stoked the nuclear fires with promises of ‘fire and fury’. Then Kim Jong Un responded by threatening to hit Guam, which is a U.S. territory in the Pacific Ocean.

So now it’s game on, much to the horror of every living thing on this planet. The two most infantile leaders on Earth have exchanged barbs over who has the biggest missiles. Now every nation on edge thanks to the little boy in North Korea with a bad hair cut, who wants to prove what a manly man he is by picking a fight with the most powerful country in the world, whose leader is an unstable megalomaniac, who openly wondered why we didn’t use nuclear weapons. We just hope the subject doesn’t change to who has the wackiest hair; then it’s game over.

The two most infantile leaders in the world, North Korea's Kim Jong Un and America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, have decided to start a nuclear war over who has the wackiest hair because...you know...they're insane.

The two most infantile leaders in the world, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un and America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, have decided to start a nuclear war over who has the wackiest hair because…you know…they’re insane.

Slavery Was Fun!

Hey everyone! America’s favorite right wing blowhard at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, Bill O’Reilly, has a new book out. O’Reilly, who has appointed himself as America’s history detective and has authored other ‘history’ books like Killing Kennedy, Killing Lincoln and Killing Reagan, assassinates more truth with his new book entitled Slavery Was Fun! In it, he backs up his recent claim that slaves who worked building the White House were well fed and happy. O’Reilly states that slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot! He even got the black guy who works with him at Fox to write the foreward. This is a must have book for the racist or Trump supporter in your family. Get it now!

Fox News talk show host and America's history detective, Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn't just fun, it was a laugh riot.

Fox News talk show host and America’s history detective, Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot.

It’s The Size That Counts

The last photo-toon in our zany zealot retrospective features Osama Bin Laden from our October 28, 2007 issue. Yes, relive those glorious years of the Bush Administration when you proved how much you loved America by wearing a flag lapel pin at all times, even in the hot tub. Remember, in America: the bigger, the better.

Al-Qaeda leader and the world's biggest pain in the ass, Osama Bin Laden, released another tape recently where he denied that he was a terrorist.

Oh, It’s Bora Bora…

Continuing with our zany zealot retrospective…we finally switch to the biggest pain in the world’s rear, Osama Bin Laden, who like Saddam Hussein, was a monster created by the United States. He was one of the Afghan freedom fighters against the Soviet occupation that were much heralded by then President Ronald Reagan. The mastermind of the 9/11 attacks and other terrorist attacks around the globe, and the leader of the terrorist group Al-Qaeda hid successfully in Pakistan, our supposed ally, for ten years until President Barack Obama ordered the attack that killed him last year. BTW, we think President Barack Obama has a right to tout the attack. If Dubya can don an enhanced flight suit, land on aircraft carrier and use 9/11 repeatedly for political purposes for his re-election in 2004, then we have no problem with Obama doing the same.

Here’s a photo-toon from our December 5, 2004 issue, when Osama Bin Laden was supposedly hiding in the Tora Bora region in eastern Afghanistan.

Last week, Pakistan intelligence sources revealed Osama Bin Laden isn't in Tora Bora in Afghanistan, he is in Bora Bora in Tahiti.

Saddam’s Grim Visitor

Another Saddam photo-toon, this time from our November 13, 2006 issue. A certain Mr. Reaper pays a visit to the pillar of humanism to remind him of his grim prospects.

Saddam Hussein, who was sentenced to death last week in his trial in Iraq for crimes against humanity, has his tirade interrupted by a special visitor.

Saddam’s Lawyer?

Our zany zealot retrospective continues with more Saddam Hussein… This photo-toon is from our July 18th, 2004 issue and features Saddam’s surprise choice of lawyer for his criminal trial in Iraq. We think he may have watched too much American TV.

Saddam Hussein surprised the world when he introduced Ben Matlock to be his defense attorney for his upcoming trial.

 

Judge Judy Dispenses Justice

More Saddam Hussein…this photo-toon is from our December 21, 2003 issue, not long after Saddam was caught lounging in his spider-hole. Who should administer justice to this rogue dictator?  In 2003, the answer was obvious.

America recently dispatched it's mightiest warrior, Judge Judy, to dispense justice to captured Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein.

The Real WMDs: Wieners of Mass Destruction

Enough Kim Jong Il…onto Saddam Hussein. Yes, the former Iraq dictator was a pain in the world’s ass for many years, but America made this monster back in the 80’s when he was heralded by the Reagan administration for fighting against the Ayatollah in Iran for eight years. And as with all tin horn dictators propped up by an enormous empire, they get too big for their britches and must be removed by the powers who enabled them in the first place (see every empire since the dawn of civilization).

Here’s a photo-toon from our August 14, 2003 issue, when Saddam Hussein was still on the loose after the “slam dunk” invasion of Iraq.

Saddam Hussein was recently located in a Steubenville, Ohio parking lot distributing WMDs: wieners of mass destruction.

Daffy and Dethpicable

Kim Jong Il reportedly was a huge Daffy Duck fan. He owned the complete collection of episodes and also had a humongous collection of memorabilia. Who knows? Maybe he wanted to be Daffy Duck? Here’s a photo-toon of the dethpicable dictator from our October 28, 2006 issue.

North Korean dictator and Daffy Duck afficionado, Kim Jong Il, reflects on detonating a nuclear device last week, thus possibly jeopardizing regional and world peace.