Archive for In Guns We Trust

GOP Wants Pistol Packing Teachers

We’ve commented many times about gun control here. We’ve even created a category. This subject seems like a no-brainer to most civilized, intelligent citizens. For starters, reinstate the assault weapon ban and mass school shootings will decline. All logic points to this action.

But American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and his Republican pals continue to lick the ass of their masters, the NRA, and push for ludicrous, asinine solutions. Just this past week Trump trotted out the old “let’s arm the teachers” suggestion to widespread and deserved ridicule. Then he backtracked and suggested that the cruel media was putting words in his mouth. Then he suggested that he’d run in and save the children. This from a man who got five deferments from Vietnam, one for bone spurs. He couldn’t even protect his son and wife from rain with his umbrella. And yet, Trump would charge into a school without a weapon to attack a shooter?  Not bloody likely!

Let’s make no mistake: arming teachers is a horrendous idea. Arming students is a horrendous idea. Voting for Republicans is a horrendous idea. Modern day conservative Republicans are broken human beings and need to be removed from any kind of position of power.  And Democrats, who also feed at the NRA trough, need to start stepping up to the plate, grow a spine and start pushing for legislation against assault weapons.

And as if on cue, this just in… there’s news that a teacher in Georgia barricaded himself inside a school and fired a gun. Hey Republicans…still think arming teachers is a great idea?

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

In Guns We Trust

Another day, another mass shooting. With the Orlando shooting last weekend, we’ve had 182 mass shootings alone in the U.S. this year. Ahhh…life in 21st century America. We’ve commented ad infinitum about the need for gun control in this country, especially for assault weapons (just do a search for gun on this website). But our feckless, craven, Republican congressmen and senators are too beholden to the NRA and the gun lobby to do anything about it. Apparently, this is what our ‘compassionate’ conservative, GOP leaders want for this nation; people loving guns more than they do other people. This is the new norm. We might as well mint a new $1 dollar coin announcing our new national motto, “In Guns We Trust”.

Republican senators and congressmen, in conjunction with the NRA, have authorized the minting of a new $1 coin with the new national motto, 'In Guns We Trust' emblazoned on the obverse side, to show the world that in America, guns are more important than people.

Republican senators and congressmen, in conjunction with the NRA, have authorized the minting of a new $1 coin with the new national motto, ‘In Guns We Trust’ emblazoned on the obverse side, to show the world that in America, guns are more important than people.

World War III: Trumpocalypse Now

We’re not pulling any punches here at the Bucket. We are vehemently anti-Donald Trump. Sure Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect, but she is basically a centrist Democrat and a moderate Republican. Like our guy Bernie Sanders has said, even on her worst days, she’s still one thousand times better than Mr. Trump.

There are countless reasons to not elect GOP frontrunner Donald Trump president. So far, he’s been as fickle as the wind on foreign and domestic issues alike. Oh, it’s Tuesday, then he’s for punishing women for abortions. If it’s Wednesday’s and the wind’s from the northwest, then women shouldn’t be punished. He used to be for gun control, but now he’s all for everyone having guns everywhere. Other issues he’s been for and against: transgender bathroom usage, same-sex marriage, NATO, reducing the national debt, Planned Parenthood, violence for political gain, etc…

But probably the biggest reason not to elect this psychopath is his foreign policy experience. We can’t think of a more dangerous person to have his finger on the nuclear button than this egomaniacal, authoritarian rage monster. The thought should make every sane Americans blood run cold. Let’s take the recent incident when U.S. sailors ventured into Iranian waters and were taken prisoners. Within a day, thanks to diplomacy by the Obama administration, the sailors were released. But Mr. Trump wanted to get tough with Iran (and possibly start World War III), which will undoubtedly be a nuclear war. He’s already sending mixed messages on foreign war policy as well. He stated that the U.S. shouldn’t be involved in foreign wars. But then he turns around and says he’d carpet bomb ISIS and show force in Syria. Can you imagine the Donald handling incidents with North Korea, China, the Ukraine, the Middle East. Just the slightest provocation would send Trump to the nuclear button. He’s already said, he would use nuclear weapons. Who knows — if Mexico doesn’t agree to build the border wall that Trump wants, he may send a few warheads southward.

The bottom line is this; if a person is thinking about voting for Trump, then that person should be prepared to go to war themselves, or send their sons, daughters or grandchildren to war. And this war won’t be just any war. It will be World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump's new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump’s new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

Only The Powah of Prayer Can Help

Another day, another shooting…aaaah, life in 21st century America. This time, instead of radical christian terrorists, it was radical islamic terrorists…but still radical religious terrorists. This husband and wife team killed 14 people and injured 21 with assault weapons, which according to every gun enthusiast, is vital to living a happy life in this country. Again the response by Republicans has been pathetic. GOP presidential candidate, Marco Rubio, proclaimed that gun control legislation won’t help and many Republicans, including the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, said they’re sending their prayers to the victims. In fact, President Obama caused quite a ruckus when he rightfully said “God isn’t fixing this” and correctly pushed for gun control legislation. The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a. Fox News, jumped in and offered the insipid response that if you’re not praying you’re for the terrorists.(That’s sounds a lot like Dubya’s old catchphrase). And of course, the NRA High Priest, Wayne LaPierre, made a video designed to make everyone want to go out, buy a gun and join in the melee, in the name of national security. At least The New York Daily News came out with a full page headline blasting Republicans on their inaction. Maybe this will light a match under the Republicans to grow a pair and stand up to the special interest groups like the NRA and the gun industry, who control them like they’re puppets. Will it work? Let’s just put it this way; we wonder where the next shooting is going to be.

GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American's sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, which gets an amen and hallelujah from NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.

GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American’s sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, much to the evangelical delight of NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.

Christian Terrorists? What Christian Terrorists?

This past weekend, an anti-choice, conservative, religious zealot, Robert Dear, barricaded himself inside a Planned Parenthood clinic and killed three people and injured nine others. If that wasn’t unsettling enough, take into account the aftermath of this tragedy. As one could predict, the media is being incredibly stupid, postulating on what his possible motive could be despite his grumbling the phrase “no more baby parts” as he was being jailed. This was in line with Republicans, who also took the Sgt. Schultz approach. (Christian Terrorists? What christian terrorists?) Probably the most inane comment was by the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, who said there was nothing linking him to the anti-abortion stance (pay no attention to the “no more baby parts” statement) and that he was a “transgendered leftist activist” and not a crazed anti-abortionist, right wing, christian terrorist. The wife of Dear even said he was conservative , religious and anti-abortion. But in Ted Cruz’s demented world vision, we need to be very afraid of people like Laverne Cox, Kaitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono, who seem to be pretty docile and friendly people. And this clown, Cruz, wants to be President.

This was obviously a politically motivated shooting and it shows how the Republican rhetoric toward defunding Planned Parenthood has created a toxic attitude toward the important organization, which provides vital reproductive and counseling services to women. We’ve mentioned before the lies and deceptions by the conservative media and Carly Fiorina concerning Planned Parenthood.  When the media and right wing conservative politicians fail to quell the hatred but instead incite it, then they should be held accountable. For instance, Ted Cruz recently crowed about an endorsement for his campaign from Troy Newman,who has openly endorsed violence against abortion providers. Another wack-a-doodle GOP candidate, Mike Huckabee, likened Planned Parenthood to ISIS. Of course, everyone of these ‘pro-lifers’ are totally for starting wars in the Middle East, which will kill thousands of people in the process. Pro-life indeed! And everyone of these ‘freedom loving conservatives’ are for getting government out people’s lives, except when it comes to women’s reproductive systems, then by all means let’s monitor their vaginas and uteri 24/7. Hypocrites indeed!

Ted Cruz says Robert Dear was a trangendered activist, while the media remains clueless about his motivation despite the shooter saying 'no more baby parts.'

Top notch sleuth and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, offers the pliant media a possible solution to the mystery of why Robert Dear attacked Planned Parenthood.

Do Unto Your Brother; But Only If He’s Christian

The big news lately in the wake of the Paris terrorists’ attack last week is what to do with the Syrian refugees. Many Americans are against letting them into the country at all, while others are demanding stricter standards for allowing them into the country. While we think sending troops to Syria is a knee jerk reaction, we  think stricter vetting of the refugees isn’t such a bad idea. We should use the same solid background checks that we use for any American who wants to purchase a gun. What could possibly go wrong with that plan? (Side note:Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, recently piped up and said Jesus would have loved guns.)

We also find it a bit odd that the most christian of the christians of the Republican candidates are saying that only christian refugees should be allowed into the country. Hmmmm…what would Capitalist Jesus have to say about that?

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests to use them on Syrian refugees because Christians rule.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests a use for them to his gun loving Christian followers.

 

The Republicans’ Toxic Masculinity Problem

The Republicans’ stupid has been coming fast and furious lately…it’s been hard for us to keep up. But we’ve got to comment on Jeb Bush’s statements following the school shootings in Oregon last week. In an interview following the tragedy, ‘compassionate conservative’ Jeb stated that you know ‘Stuff happens’. Can’t you just feel the sympathy oozing from his pores? Just the latest in our corporate lackey politicians licking the gun barrels of the NRA, the weapons industry and the military industrial complex. Because you know you can’t possibly be a man unless you have a gun and of course, as in all things manly, you’ve got to have either a big gun or a lot of them.

There’s a new buzzword that’s been making the rounds lately called ‘toxic masculinity’ and this catch phrase fits today’s gun culture perfectly.  Since December 2012, we’ve had 990 mass shootings. When you care more about a gun than living beings, that’s a sign of a sick society. Our spineless politicians should stand up to the gun lobbyists and say enough is enough. It’s incredible that Republicans are so myopic that they’re still focusing on the 4 lives lost at Benghazi and not the 1249 people lost to gun violence in the past three years. It’s time for Americans to vote these incompetents out of office. If our elected officials won’t take the necessary steps to make this country safer, then maybe it’s time for new elected officials.

GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that 'stuff happens' while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval.

GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that ‘stuff happens’ while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval.

Top Holiday Gifts For 2013

The holiday season is in full swing. If you haven’t spent yourself into bankruptcy yet and are still looking for the right gift for that special someone in your life, look no further. Our intrepid staff has conveniently compiled a list of the hot “gotta have it” items for this years holiday season. Take this to the mall and don’t forget your helmet, spiked gloves and shoulder pads. Holiday shopping is dangerous!

  • An Official Miley Cyrus Foam Finger
  • A painting by George W. Bush of George W. Bush in the bathtub
  • ‘Moby Dick’ by Rand Paul
  • The NSA Super Snooper Spy Kit – For Kids
  • Ted Cruz’s new fragrance: Arrogant Ass
  • A lump of coal autographed by Dick Cheney
  • ‘The Great Gatsby’ by Rand Paul
  • Sarah Palin’s Book ‘Good Tidings and Great Joy’ Yule Log
  • ‘Kwanzaa For Dummies’ by Paula Deen
  • A Carlos Danger Action Figure with Realistic Twerkin’ Motion
  • Walter White’s Meth Starter Kit – For Kids
  • ‘Atlas Shrugged’ by Rand Paul
  • A ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ T-Shirt (blatant capitalistic plug)
  • Guns, guns and more guns
  • Healthcare

 

Tolerance Is Sooooooo Overrated

Recently, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus stated in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) “I don’t know if I’ve used the word ‘tolerance,’ I don’t really care for that word myself”.

It’s stunning that today’s christian conservative Republicans are such blatant hypocrites. Let’s review a little: today’s modern, conservative, christian Republican, should not want their neighbors to have affordable healthcare; should not give any kind of opportunity to anyone from another country who has come to this country in search of a better life; should mistrust anyone who has a different skin color; should hate anyone who has a different religious point of view; should not allow a woman to make her own health decisions in regard to her reproductive system; should despise people who have different sexual orientation; and should own several guns and use them if they are EVER threatened by the aforementioned groups of people. Yep, tolerance is very overrated. Jesus would surely be proud of today’s christians.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, lends support to his disciple, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, on how overrated tolerance is in today’s overpopulated world.