Tag Archive for Bush

Rewind: Pickles – RAW

April 25, 2023 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Neocon Media Circus, Wide World O' Wacky

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

There weren’t many good things about the Bush administration. Let’s face it, folks: they screwed up the economy, the United States’ standing in the world and crippled us with two unwinnable wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. About the best thing about Dubya and his gang of corrupt buffoons was Laura Bush. As First Lady, she wasn’t awful. Sure she was a kowtowing christian wife who meekly demurred to her christian husband. Remember in 2006 when she said it was okay to sing the national anthem in Spanish and when she heard Dubya’s opinion differed she changed her mind to match her husband. Man do thinking – women make food, have babies. Ugggh!

But Laura Bush did have a sense of humor as evidence in 2005 at the White House correspondent’s dinner. She gave a bawdy little stand up routine that was well received by everyone across the political spectrum. Some of the jokes were even at the expense of lil’ Georgie who sat red faced while she mocked him roundly. One particular anecdote dealt with Dubya’s early attempts at ranching that thoroughly humiliated him. “George didn’t know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don’t have a real strong ranching program. But I’m proud of George. He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse. “ Yes, the imagery of ol’ Dubya whacking off a stallion is pretty damn funny. Not even Jon Stewart could have done better.

Here’s a photo-toon from our June 6, 2005 issue featuring the cover of Laura ‘Pickles’ Bush bawdy new comedy album RAW featuring horse masturbation jokes.

Emboldened by her recent success at the White House correspondents' dinner, First Lady Laura 'Pickles' Bush released her bawdy new comedy album last week.
Emboldened by her recent success at the White House correspondents’ dinner, First Lady Laura ‘Pickles’ Bush released her bawdy new comedy album last week.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Dubya’s Cowboy Diplomacy

April 18, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Lil' DubToons

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

We again revisit 2006 when Dubya was making excuse after excuse for the Iraq War’s less than stellar results. The Bush administration was trying to pivot away from its ‘cowboy diplomacy’ and looking for another dodge to avoid culpability for an ill-advised war while at the same time trying to con the public that America was turning the corner – or in other words, going around in circles and we should stay the course wasting trillions of dollars and killing thousands of people in the process. But in true Dubya fashion he staggered and tripped all over his tongue resulting in yet another embarrassing word salad.

Here’s our DubToon from our August 11, 2006 issue featuring big buckaroo Dubya lamenting giving up on his prized cowboy diplomacy.

“I think—tide turning—see, as I remember—I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of—it’s easy to see a tide turn—did I say those words?”

George W. Bush
06-14-2006

Big Buckaroo George W. Bush laments the ending of his cowboy diplomacy in Iraq.
“End of cowboy diplomacy? But I like being a cowboy.”
No comments , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Dubya’s Office Of Lessons Learned

April 5, 2023 bb_admin Articles:Political BS, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Back to our 20th anniversary retrospective . . .

Let’s return to those halcyon days of 2006, not long after the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, when good ol’ Dubya gave a press conference. When asked about what lessons he’s learned in his five years in office, the eternal bumbler couldn’t even answer the question correctly because he learned absolutely nothing. Here’s an article from our August 11, 2006 edition.

Bush Office of Lessons Learned Small, Empty

Last week, a group of tourists was shocked to find that the Bush Administration’s Office of Lessons Learned, was not only empty but just a closet in the basement of an office building across from the White House.

“Wow what a shocker!” said tourist John Melbourne from Little Rock, Arkansas. “I was completely surprised. I came to Washington D.C. to see three things; the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and this office and it’s just a dark, dank, closet full of brooms, mops and roach traps. What a gyp!”

“Oh, I was sure upset,” said Gloria Hale from Berryville, Illinois. “I figured with all the mistakes Bush has made these past five years; you know, Iraq, Afghanistan, allowing torture, illegal wiretapping, secrecy in government, the gargantuan deficit, no affordable healthcare, the Medicare drug program, high gas prices, the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, the Middle East crisis, ignoring global warming, dismantling environmental regulation, tax cuts to the rich, stacking the courts with conservative ideologues, ruining America’s standing with the rest of the world. I thought there would be a building the size of the Pentagon filled to the rafters with documents. Instead we get this little closet. There wasn’t even a waste basket in it. What a gyp!”

Dave Rogers from St. Louis, Missouri said, “I wasn’t completely disappointed. We did manage to see the director of the Office of Lessons Learned Stuart Baker get into his BMW and drive away, though. Did you know he makes over $100k a year? Who did he blow to get that job, eh? Ah, who am I kidding? What a gyp!”

When asked about the Office of Lessons Learned, President Bush said, “Oh that’s old screwy Stuey’s office. Fortunately, we haven’t had to use that office very much during my time as President, since I don’t make mistakes. But I will say old Stuey’s doing a heckuva job!”

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Master Dubya

March 16, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Lil' DubToons

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Iraq War was a complete clusterf*ck and the Bush Administration was responsible for everything that went wrong with that ill-advised war. One of the more unsettling events that occurred during the early days of occupation was that American soldiers tortured Iraqis at the infamous Abu-Ghraib facilities and then Bush Admin officials denied that they did. (Hmmm. Republicans f*cking up, gaslighting and avoiding consequences. Some things never change, eh.)

Here’s our DubToon from our September 17, 2006 issue featuring Master Dubya convincingly denying the use of torture.

“We do not condone torture. I have never ordered torture. I will never order torture. The values of this country are such that torture is not a part of our soul and our being.”
George W. Bush
06-22-2004
Master George W. Bush convincingly denies that America uses torture on Iraqi citizens.
“America does not torture…except for waterboarding, attack dogs, electrodes to genitals…”
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Ashcroft’s Great Cover Up

March 9, 2023 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

After George W. Bush somehow won re-election in 2004, his Attorney General, bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft, decided to call it quits. As he left the Bush administration, we pondered in our November 21, 2004 issue over his greatest accomplishment (or embarrassment). This man is the only man to lose an election to a dead man in the Senate. Ashcroft championed the Patriot Act and warrantless wiretapping. But his prudishness was unbelievable. Ashcroft was just as uptight as ol’ Puritan Pants Mike Pence. Ashcroft spent eight thousand dollars to shield the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice because it showed a boob and he didn’t want to be pictured in front of such a display. American Taliban, indeed! We have no doubt that Ashcroft probably bathes in his long johns so as not to offend himself. What a priggish tool!

John Ashcroft's greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice.
John Ashcroft’s greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Dubya’s Healthy Forests

February 28, 2023 bb_admin Articles:Corporate BS, Articles:Political BS, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Republicans have long been anti-science and pro-corporation and it shows in their voting record, the fact that they put industry insiders in key posts in government agencies like the EPA and their incredibly stupid efforts at promoting conservation; Donald Trump’s recommendation at raking forests during the California wildfires a few years ago comes to mind. Which reminds us of Dubya’s promotion of his Healthy Forest Initiative which promotes the logging industry logging the hell out of forests. Hey, if there are no trees left, you can’t have wildfires, right? This article comes from our July 17, 2003 issue.

Bush Proposes New Healthy Forest Initiative

In response to the devastating wildfires in the western United States, President Bush has come up with a new Healthy Forest Initiative designed to reduce future forest fires.

“The idea behind this plan is that we thin the forests so that there are maybe ten or twelve trees per square mile. Maybe even less. That way, if a fire does start, no trees will burn. Forests can’t burn if there are no trees around. See, it’s a healthy forest. It’s a win-win for everyone. It’s a win for the economy. The logging industry will need more lumer . . . lumerber . . . log guys to cut down the trees. More workers will be needed to build the roads for the log guys. This will open up new areas of housing development and enable people to build houses safely in the forest without having to worry about losing their house in case of a fire.”

Mike Scoggins from the Sierra Club then asked, “What about all the wildlife that will be displaced by the thinned forest, new roads and new housing? Where are they going to go?”

President Bush shook his head and said, “People! That’s what zoos are for. All the animals can stay in zoos where we can manage them better. I’m tight with God and it’s his plan that all plants and animals obey their masters! Us!”

Bush then added, “Supporting this initiative is the American thing to do! You Sierra Club lima beans obviously must be for the terrorists!”

Homeland Security agents then rushed Scoggins and lead him away to a detention area for questioning and a good pummeling.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Dubya’s Flying Shoe Problem

February 23, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Lil' DubToons

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Back in December of 2008, the Republicans just got their ass handed to them in the general election as the Democrats not only won the presidency but also the House and the Senate and most of the blame laid at the feet of George W. Bush whose poll numbers were in the 20’s thanks to the Bush Administrations mishandling of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq but also the economy as the Great Recession roared to life thanks mostly to his policies. Not only was Dubya disliked at home but also abroad. There was the famous shoe throwing incident where ol’ DubDub had to dodge a pair of thrown shoes, which is a sign of deep disrespect in many cultures around the world. But in true Republican fashion, Dubya just passed it off as a non-event: another day, another shoe zipped at your head. Que sera, sera. It’s the 2020s and the beat goes on for the GOP. People attacking the Capitol to overturn a legitimate election? Nothing to see here, folks – it was just a tourist visit.

Here’s our DubToon from our December 29, 2008 issue featuring a defiant Dubya downplaying the incident.

“So what if a guy threw a shoe at me?”
George W. Bush
Reacting to an Iraqi journalist hurling two shoes at him
12-14-2008
George W. Bush calmly responds to a protestor planting a shoe in his forehead.
“Yeah…I’ve got a wing-tip in my head. So what?”
No comments , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Lil’ DubToons

February 2, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Lil' DubToons

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Starting in December 2005, we reformatted our look and feel trying to make our webzine look more like a newspaper. So we introduced a three column layout under our banner with headlines, photo-toon links and other material in the left column, articles in the main center column and external links, ads and little cartoons highlighting the hypocrisy of the Bush Administration and Republicans in the right column. We called these tiny photo-toons Lil’ DubToons and we enjoyed the hell out of ’em. We’ll be reposting several of them in celebration of our 20th anniversary.

Here’s a pic of our April 10, 2006 issue featuring our changed format and the corresponding DubToon displayed in the upper right hand corner right below a corresponding quote relating the Republican hypocrisy of the week. At that time, it was reported that disgraced aide Scooter Libby said Bush and Dick Cheney were responsible for disclosing classified intelligence information as part of a counterattack against critics of the Bush Administration’s disastrous Iraq War policy. Of course, ol’ Dubya channels Alfred E. Neuman attitude in response knowing that in 2003 he was acting all tough on finding out and punishing the leakers. Well, Bush said he’d take of the leakers and he’s taking really good care of himself ever since.

A screenshot of the April 10, 2006 featuring a new format and the awesome Lil' DubToon in the upper right hand corner.
A screenshot of the April 10, 2006 featuring a new format and the awesome Lil’ DubToon in the upper right hand corner.
“And if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of.”
George W. Bush
9-30-2003
Dubya does his best Alfred E. Neuman impersonation deflecting criticism about leaks in his administration.
“What? Me Worry?”
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: WMDs In North Dakota?

January 27, 2023 bb_admin Articles:Political BS, Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Here’s our very first article from our May 19, 2003 issue. Back then the Republicans had just invaded Iraq on the false claim that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction. This gave rise to the imperialistic Bush Doctrine which states that the United States has the right to invade a country if they are suspected of having WMDs or being a threat in any way, which opens up a host of possibilities for abuse of power and violation of civil liberties. But that doesn’t matter to the authoritarian Republicans as Bush Press Secretary Ari Fleischer proved by repeatedly doing his impersonation of a Stasi agent telling people they should watch what they say. So basically, the Republicans haven’t changed since 2003, they’re just exposed thanks to Trump and the attempted Jan. 6th insurrection to overthrow the government.

Bush Says North Dakota Has Weapons of Mass Destruction

President George Bush said today in an emergency press conference that he suspects North Dakota may have weapons of mass destruction and that he will push for complete disarmament or he will invade.

“Our intelligence has detected missile silos in North Dakota,” said Bush. “They have become a menace to the world. Their leader is worst than Hitler! I’ve seen footage of people being fed into wood chippers. If we do not stop them, a nuculyar castastr…catatat…boom-boom could happen. If they do not disarm, we will invade in twenty four hours.”

Jarrod Dayson, an alert reporter from Newsblog then reminded the president that North Dakota was in the United States and that the missile silos housed American nuclear weapons. Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, then interrupted the president, whispered into his ear and rushed him from the stage. He then commandeered the press conference explaining, “I apologize for the president’s latest statements. He awoke early from his nap and was having nightmares after watching the movie Fargo last night. North Dakota is a wonderful state and Governor Hoeven is not worse than Hitler. He was just repeating statements that he heard Bill Clinton say when he was president. Thank you.”

Fleischer then barred Dayson from any further press conferences stating in an irritated tone, “How dare he question the president of the United States! He must be for terrorism!” Forces from Homeland Security appeared and ushered Dayson on a plane to Guantanamo Bay.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: The First Photo-Toons

January 22, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Wide World O' Wacky

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Our first post in our retrospective features our first two photo-toons from 2003. If you remember, we had just invaded and taken over Iraq. Saddam Hussein had eluded American forces and was on the run. On the legal front, the Patriot Act had been passed after 9/11 and was threatening all sorts of freedoms in the name of national security. The first toon from our June 19, 2003 issue features former Attorney General from the Bush era, authoritarian bible-thumper and Patriot Act cheerleader John Ashcroft showing off a proud purchase he made on that new website called E-bay. The second from our July 3, 2003 issue features former President and super sleuth George W. Bush boldly stating that he’ll leave no stone unturned in pursuit of Saddam Hussein, at least as long as Iraq’s leader isn’t in the same room. As you can see, our first photo-toons were simple photoshop jobbies with no word bubbles and basic, mildly humorous jabs. We’ve come a long ways since then.

Attorney General and bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft shows off the Vintage 1973 Playboy he won on eBay.
Attorney General and bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft shows off the Vintage 1973 Playboy he won on eBay.
President Bush vows to leave no stone unturned in his quest to find Saddam Hussein.
President Bush vows to leave no stone unturned in his quest to find Saddam Hussein.
No comments , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Entries