Archive for July 28, 2019

The British Trump

The United States isn’t the only country being overrun by right wing conservatives seizing control of the power structures. Many countries throughout the world have seen hard line conservative parties gain power and predictably are establishing authoritarian measures to make sure they stay in power. This past week, conservative Boris Johnson became the new Prime Minister in the United Kingdom. Johnson has been described as the British Donald Trump . . .you know . . . narcissistic womanizer with not a bit of intelligence. We thought that the U.K. went off the deep end when they voted for Brexit. With Boris Johnson taking the helm, we’re pretty sure the sun has set on the British Empire.

So, what is behind the rise of all these right wing, authoritarian conservative gaining power throughout the western world? Could Russian President Vladimir Putin have something to do with the rise of authoritarianism and the decline of western democracies? We’re thinking, yes. Modern day Russia is basically a corrupt oligarchy, where only the rich and powerful have a say so in how the country is run. Since the fall of communism and the Soviet Union in the early ’90s, Russia has gone through some pretty rough years which has given rise to the oligarchs. Putin was pretty peeved that his country lost the Cold War. But the former KGB operative is intelligent and very clever. Over the past twenty years, he and the deep pocketed Russian oligarchs have systematically used capitalism as a weapon against the western capitalist democracies and, as we’re seeing now, to devastating effect. They know that one common trait among all capitalistic countries is greed; the life’s blood of capitalism. There are any number of egotistical, power hungry people in western democracies who’d sell out their own mother for money, wealth and power. Trump’s connections to Russia are well known despite his protests and denials. Boris Johnson also has conflicts. Other countries have also shown a susceptibility to make corrupt deals with Russia.

In his testimony to Congress this past week, Robert Mueller explicitly warned that Russia interfered in the 2016 election and is on it’s way to mucking up our elections in 2020. And the Mueller report also states that Trump openly welcomed Russian interference (there are videos of Trump openly asking Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails). Russian oligarchs have used corrupt, crony capitalism to amass their considerable fortunes and they will spare no expense supporting the best hackers available in undermining our democratic institutions. And yet Mitch McConnell blocked legislation that would provide protection against hacking in the upcoming election. We guess Turtle Boy knows that the Republicans can’t win again without Russia’s help.

So Britain now has it’s own Donald Trump. We here at the Bucket see Putin as a James Bond Super Villain who dispenses helpful hints for those wanting to remake western democracies into Putin-style oligarchies. All you have to do is buy off wacky haired, egotistical, narcissistic, populist, capitalist megalomaniacs like Boris Johnson and Trump, who love money, fame and power. Oh, and don’t forget those wacky haired communist leaders like Kim Jong Un.

Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.
Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.

The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.

The Battle of Yorktown Airport

One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.

In it, he rambled on about the Revolutionary War and managed to mangle the history of this country beyond recognition, juxtaposing events of the War of 1812 with the Battle of Yorktown from the Revolutionary War and inexplicably linking both with the taking of airports. Watch a video of this mess. Of course, Trump blamed it all on his teleprompter.

The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.

In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.