Archive for Holy Huckster Hijinx

Bible Babble

The crap keeps coming at a fast and furious pace from the Trump administration, so it’s tough to keep up, folks. Among the myriad of events that occurred this past week is one where Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, boldly stepped to the microphone, thumped his bible and used a bible quote to justify separating children from their parents at the border and detaining them indefinitely, just like his Confederate ancestors did with the slaves and the Nazis did with Jews and other aliens they viewed as inferior. This is not new for right wing authoritarian fascists, who are obsessed with immigrants. We did a photo-toon back in 2014 where Capitalist Jesus said ‘Let the Children Suffer’ which covers the hypocrisy of the christian right wing. Electoral-vote.com provided an excellent analysis of the whole disgusting affair that covers all the bases very well, so we won’t rehash it here.

What we’ll focus on is why a United States lawmaker is using bible quotes for justifying law in 21st century America. Like the electoral-vote post says, when people quote the bible for justifying something, inevitably it devolves into just another game of dueling scripture. Why do we still give credence to text written by early Iron Age or even late Bronze Age ‘wisemen’ who, compared with today’s knowledge base, knew absolutely nothing about the world or the universe as it really is. We’ve mentioned before about how a person who accepts science is much more knowledgeable about everything because the science enthusiast accesses a much bigger database of knowledge than a religious person, who is obsessed with connecting to an antiquated and relatively small database. This latest example just shows that if the bible says that we should separate children from their parents for an indefinite period, then maybe the bible isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe we should probably be using some updated source of wisdom to help us make decisions in the 21st century and beyond.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III justifies separating children from parents by thumping his bible.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, lamely explains why separating children from parents for an indefinite period is right in line with the bible, which for some reason is now being used as the law of the United States.

The G7 Nadir

Once again, America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has embarrassed America on the world stage; this time at the recent G7 summit conference in Quebec, Canada. In one weekend, Trump managed to insult our trusted allies and at the same time strengthen support for his old pal Vlad Putin in Russia. He vilified Canada…that’s right, Canada… and their leader Justin Trudeau for talking back to the U.S. because of Trump’s recent decision to increase tariffs. Seriously, folks; Trump was all kind of crazy with his statements. German chancellor, Angela Merkel, was equally distressed about the experience. The summit made it clear to the world that Trump exists to make Russia great again.

That’s right, folks. Trump was all love when it came to talking up Russia and trying to get them readmitted to the summit meetings, thus making them the G8 again. But the reason Russia was dismissed from the group in the first place was because they invaded the Ukraine and annexed Crimea. But of course, Trump didn’t even mention this is his commentary. Why? Russia must really have something on Trump for him to blow off our old allies like France, Germany, Britain, Japan, Italy and Canada – you know, democracies – and embrace authoritarian countries like Russia and now North Korea. We’re thinking future economic conferences will very soon be called the G6 summit with Trump deciding that the United States is going to take its ball and go home because it has to play nice with other countries.

One thing that we like from the conference was that Trudeau massively trolled Trump by giving him a framed picture of a hotel in Canada that was run by Trump’s grandfather. It turns out the hotel was a brothel. Yes, the lust for vamps is in Trump’s genes.

We also love the viral photo from the conference which shows what a petulant man-child Trump really is. If clearly shows that if he doesn’t get his way, then he acts like a complete crybaby. We’ve decided to speculate that the picture was taken while ordering some vittles.

When confronted with the choice of pepperoni and mushrooms on his pizza, American CEO/Dictator and petulant man-child Donald Trump courageously threatens to leave the G7 summit, if he can't have a cheeseburger.

In true Trumpian fashion, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man-child, Donald Trump, makes a valiant, cross-armed stand for American values at the recent G7 summit.

The Lying Liar’s Pity Party

The Trump administration’s lackeys continue to annoy the American populace on a daily basis. Take Sarah Huckabee Sanders…please. She keeps complaining about how the press is unfairly spreading ‘fake news’. We’ve already commented about how this bible thumper has been repeatedly bearing false witness in front of the nation despite her religion teaching its followers that lying will lead to eternal damnation.

Now Ms. Sanders is whining about how the press calling her a liar is making her feel bad. Oh really???!!! Poor baby!!! And Ms. Sanders’ daily lies don’t make us feel miserable???!!! It’s truly astonishing that the gaslighting Republicans think that many Americans, including the press, can’t discern the truth that Trump and his entire administration are nothing but pathological liars. We’ve already mentioned the database of Trump’s lies being kept by the Washington Post’s Fact Checker. There’s also overwhelming video evidence of him lying!!! Just check Youtube! Of course, Trump and the Republicans have some help spreading their deceptions with their very own propaganda network, a.k.a. Fox News, which many of the christian sheeple follow without question, like the good little authoritarian automatons they are.

But as for Sarah Huckabee Sanders: we have no sympathy whatsoever for this women. She is nothing but a gargantuan hypocrite. Want to stop feeling bad, Ms. Sanders? Stop lying!!!

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah Huckabee Sanders whines about being called a liar, to which a friendly doctor advises her to stop lying.

A kindly doctor provides some friendly advice for whiny Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah Huckabee Sanders: STOP LYING!!!

The King And Queen Of Pain

Gina Haspel was narrowly approved by the Senate last week to be the new CIA director despite being grilled for being a supposed proponent of torture during the Bush Administration. Lawmakers repeatedly asked her if she would protest if perhaps Trump wanted to restart interrogation techniques such as waterboarding to which she basically did what all conservative Republicans do; avoid answering the question. You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney reemerges from his lair and states with Haspel in charge, the U.S. should restart harsh interrogations.

Of course, the Trump administration denies that Trump wants to resume the torture program, despite stating many times that he would definitely reinstate the method because “it works”. Perhaps Haspel can initiate a new torture method involving spanking with a Forbes magazine. We’re sure our megalomaniac, liar-in-chief would volunteer for that and maybe confess everything about lying on his taxes, his affair with Stormy Daniels, any collusion with Russia and the 3001 other deceptions he’s thrown at the public since his inauguration.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Trump Gets Respect…From Clowns

At a recent rally in a packed middle school gymnasium (you know those things seat tens of thousands of people) in Elkhart, Indiana, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, cajoled the crowd with how they’ve made America ‘respectable’ again. Oh Really???!!! According to Newsweek, global respect for America has dropped to an all-time low under Trump. The willingness of other countries to trust the U.S. is also on the wane because of Trump. Only three countries, Greece, Hungary and Nigeria, saw a positive uptick for America. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has pretty much stated that Europe can no longer depend on America because of Trump. And Trump’s disastrous plan to pull out of the Iran deal has been met with almost universal condemnation. Top E.U. official Donald Tusk, has even said that “with friends like that, who needs enemies?” in reference to Trump.

So we don’t know what Trump and Mike Pence have been smoking but they are seriously delusional. About the only group (other than Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network) that Trump has won the respect of are professional clowns. That is because the daily actions of the orange haired man-child in the White House are making them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Peace Through Ineptitude

Last week, North Korea and South Korea took a huge step toward peace when North Korea’s Kim Jong Un met with South Korea’s leader Moon Jae-in in the demilitarized zone on the border between the two countries. Kim Jong Un has announced his intention to make strides toward a nuclear free Korean peninsula.

So what caused Kim Jong Un’s about face after threatening the west with nuclear annihilation for the past seven years or ever since he came to power? Well, apparently North Korea’s test facility has completely collapsed after the last test and may be unusable. So that would definitely change Kim Jong Un’s tune if he couldn’t back up his churlish threats with, you know, actual firepower. We’re thinking that’s a of lot of egg on Kim Jong Un’s face.

But what is really strange is that Trump is somehow receiving credit for the Korean peace summit. Top Republicans have even submitted his name for a Nobel Peace Prize. But what’s even more peculiar is that the United States press and media has seemingly buried the test site’s collapse. Go ahead and Google ‘north korea test site collapse’ and the latest stories all date to April 25-26, 2018. Instead of stating the obvious reason for Kim Jong Un’s sudden enthusiasm for peace, it’s letting slide the narrative that Donald Trump is responsible for ridding the Korean peninsula of nuclear weapons without even mentioning the collapsed site. We think the destroyed test site is huge! Why is this news not getting more attention by the media? Not even the late night comedians have mentioned it. Just more bizarre events in a bizarro world where Donald Trump is somehow now the world’s greatest peacekeeper.

Now that Trump has nixed the Iran deal despite urgent pleas from our allies in France, U.K. and Germany, not to, we wonder if America’s CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’ will use the same game of nuclear brinkmanship that he used with North Korea. For the sake of the planet, we certainly hope not.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he's all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/'Peace Guru', Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he’s all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’, Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

Governor Ducey: The Teacher Troll

Arizona made headlines last week when teachers walked out of their classrooms on strike trying to get improved pay and teaching conditions. This on the heels of Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) half-hearted, perfunctory offer of a 20% raise in salary by 2020. But teachers counter that it doesn’t address other demands of the teachers like better pay for support staff, yearly teacher raises, a restoration of school funding to 2008 levels and no new tax cuts until the state per-pupil funding reaches the national average.

We mentioned before back in 2016, Ducey’s attempt to defraud Arizonans of public land to pay for education. Now, Ducey is using this offer of a raise as a blatant attempt at political posturing since he’s up for re-election this year.  Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we’ll just say he’s done jack squat in his four years. We’ve noticed on local television plenty of Ducey re-election ads touting his offer of settling the teacher strike just days after he offered the deal. Coincidence? We think not.

Not surprisingly, Arizona Republicans have started attacking the teachers, because that’s what they do. House Majority Leader John Allen, R-Scottsdale, said the strikes amount to class warfare creating “strife between the haves and the have-nots” and that taxing the rich is precisely the way to undermine economic recovery.  “I’ve never gotten a job from a poor person,” Allen added. What an arrogant asshole! Another Republican leader, Maria Sims from Paradise Valley, claimed the strikes are part of a national socialist movement (calling Joseph McCarthy). Sorry to burst your bubble, Ms. Sims. Teachers aren’t communist bastards; they just want a living wage and better working conditions.

There is some promising news for sane Arizonans. Last week’s special election in congressional district 8, which includes the old, white, conservative, retiree-from-the-Midwest bastion of Sun City served as a wake up call for the state’s GOP. Democratic candidate Tiral Hepinini lost by only five points to Debbie Lesko in a district that has gone overwhelmingly to Republicans in the past two elections. This has conservatives in this state sweating bullets. If there is indeed a blue wave sweeping the nation, with anti-Trump sentiment rising, it’s indeed possible that Democrats could actually make a dent in this state and considerably weaken the Republicans’ stranglehold (and we do mean stranglehold) on this state. A purple Arizona could very well be in the works and we’d love to see Trump supporter Doug Ducey back peddling his overpriced ice cream again instead of ‘leading’ this state.

In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.

In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.

If You’ve Got The Money, Mulvaney Has The Time

One of Donald Trump’s promises upon coming into office was draining the swamp. As we’ve commented many times before, America’s CEO/Dictator has not only not drained the swamp, he’s restocked it, mostly with corporate friendly hacks like Scott Pruitt who have no qualms on dismantling our government protections while spending millions of taxpayer’s dollars doing it. Which brings us to Trump’s director of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), Mick Mulvaney.

As CNN reported, Mulvaney said the swampiest thing you could possibly say. Mulvaney proclaimed proudly that “What you do here matters. We had a hierarchy in my office in Congress. If you were a lobbyist who never gave us money, I didn’t talk to you. If you were a lobbyist who gave us money, I might talk to you. If you came from back home and sat in my lobby, I talked to you without exception regardless of the financial contributions.” Or in other words, if you’ve got the money, I’ve got the time. Hardly the words you want to hear from a supposedly ‘honest’ government official who also claims to be catholic. But then again, the Trump administration hypocritically spews forth lies and deception every second of every day.

In addition, Mulvaney wants to eliminate public access to the consumer complaints database at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Therefore, they can give financial shysters even more power to wield over unsuspecting consumers because in America, profit is more important than people. You’ve got to screw the other guy before he screws you and if you don’t have money, you are shit out of luck, buddy. Still think capitalism is a christian economic system?

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, hustles plutocrats for funds and special privileges in the completely honest and not swampy at all Trump administration with his mantra of "If you've got the money, I've got the time".

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, hustles plutocrats for funds and special privileges in the completely honest and not swampy at all Trump administration.

Trump’s Newspeak Lackeys

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, continued his assault on democracy and the freedom of the press with his whining about all the ‘fake news’ media outlets who have the utter nerve to broadcast his ludicrous, insipid, asinine, daily statements. And then our mendacious, duplicitous liar-in-chief has the audacity to say the media makes him look bad.

But what is really Orwellian is the fact that Sinclair Broadcasting Group has recently sent out to its news affiliates scripted news that news anchors must read; if they don’t…they’re fired. Sinclair Broadcasting Group is a extremely conservative and extremely aggressive in pushing its agenda on America. John Oliver did an outstanding piece on them last July. It’s no surprise that they’re taking the Fox News (a.k.a. Republican Propaganda Network) route and blatantly calling any news which is critical of our orange haired man-child, as being fake news.

This latest stunt by Sinclair is frightening because it shows the right wing media outlets are moving us more and more in the direction of Nazi Germany’s propaganda machine (also very right wing) which so effectively and brutally killed any kind of free speech and free press, which are cornerstones of our democracy and separates us from authoritarian regimes like Russia and China. We find it ironic that for eight years, conservative Republican outlets like Fox News vilified, mocked and derided President Obama at every turn and yet Obama let them exercise their right to free speech. He didn’t threaten them or call them names. Now that Trump’s in charge, nobody can criticize him. Of course, Fox did the same thing when ol’ Dubya was the decider (if you’re not for Bush, you’re for the terrorists). The Republicans who allow this disgrace of a presidency to continue will hopefully be bitch slapped this fall by the voters. Then, maybe, just maybe, Trumpty-Dumpty will finally have his great fall.

A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump

A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump.

Spaceship Earth

The Trump administration’s assault on the environment continues to go unabated. We’ve commented several times on the Republican’s War on Science, so much so that we’ve created a category for it. But Scott Pruitt continues to dismantle our environmental protections, all to benefit the greed of oil, gas, coal, lumber, mining and other companies which have bought the loyalty of Republican ‘lawmakers’. Why this past week, Pruitt’s EPA announced it wants to lower gas efficiency standards for automobiles not only because that extra care and concern about the environment is cutting into the corporate executives profit too much but also because President Obama put them into place. And they’re auctioning off federal land for oil and gas development. Our capitalistic overlords are using up resources, killing species and fouling our environment like we’ve got a Planet B ready to travel to when we’ve completely trashed our own precious Earth. But guess what…there is no planet B!

One of the 20th century’s greatest scientific minds, Stephen Hawking recently passed away. We here at the Bucket liked Hawking, but editor Dex Rexter, who used to be a huge supporter of human space colonization (with memberships in the Planetary Society and the L5 society), after years of research on the subject, profoundly disagrees with many scientists, including Hawking and Bill Nye, who are calling for immediate human colonization of Mars and outer space. Yes, it would be fun to play Star Trek or Star Wars and zip around the universe in a spaceship. But to seriously consider extended space travel or colonization, we have to develop artificial gravity spaceships first. The best way to do this is the way the space station in 2001: A Space Odyssey did it: using a rotating wheel. The astronauts would experience centripetal acceleration, which would mimic the gravitational force humans need for normal activity. But we’re not even close to developing anything of that sort, which would be a colossal endeavor financially, not to mention logistically. And let’s say we actually get humans to Mars. We would have to completely terraform the surface and atmosphere to make it inhabitable: another gargantuan undertaking.

Like Buckminster Fuller stated a half century ago, we need to look at the big picture and see the Earth as what is it: a spaceship with all living things on the planet as inhabitants of the spaceship. Instead of continuing to befoul and pollute our planet like there’s no tomorrow, it is paramount that every human on Earth, to take action and conserve our planet. It’s necessary for people in the industrial, capitalistic countries to start eschewing materialism and living more simply, like the people in lesser industrialized countries, if we are to save our planet…and ourselves.

The bottom line is this: We will never find a better spaceship than planet Earth. It has everything we need to survive and live happy, peaceful, wonderful lives. The best, most efficient solution is not to put humanity out into the hostile environs of space or a desolate planets like Mars, but for everyone to change our lifestyles and preserve the already spectacular life on our home planet: Earth.

Dear denizens of planet Earth: There is no Planet B. Let's start taking care of our own wonderful planet. The best spaceship possible is planet Earth.

Dear denizens of planet Earth: There is no Planet B. Let’s start taking care of our own spectacular planet.