Archive for Holy Huckster Hijinx

The New Texas Elementary School/Prison

The radical right wing conservative christian Republicans are in full crazy mode and they are showing it all over the place. The heavily christian Supreme Court ruled to take away abortion rights for women last week. This week they said prayer in a public school is a-okay and the football coach at a public high school who led his team in a prayer on the field was wrongfully fired. We wonder if this christian nationalist zealots would feel the same way if the coach was Muslim or Hindu or Jewish.

But the state of Texas is leading the way in crazy. Recently, not only did they support the Big Lie that Joe Biden didn’t win the election but they also passed resolution in their state legislature that paves the way for Texas to secede from the United States. We mentioned before how we would love to see that happen; a Texit if you will. We’d help them pack. Amongst the other crazy things they mentioned in the official Republican platform were: labeling homosexuality as an abnormal lifestyle; make it easier to get a gun; restrict voting rights; ignore and accelerate climate change; ban all abortions from the moment of fertilization (super crazy); preserve confederate monuments and repealing hate crime laws because … you know … the Republican hate everything and everybody, which isn’t very christian.

Texas’ senators John Cornyn and Ted Cruz are also showing their true nature as assholes. Cornyn recently sent a completely uncompassionate tweet about overturning Brown v. Board of Education which paved the way for desegregation. And of course, Ted Cruz, the Senator everybody hates, said after the Uvalde school shooting that what we really need is to have just one entrance and exit to a school. It’s not the guns – it’s the doors! Wow! What an idiot!!! Not only would that be a fire hazard, but it turns our educational system into a prison system. But we’re guessing the heartless GOP would be fine with that. Just send the little urchins to school but be sure to protect the things of real value; their precious guns. Oh and fetuses, too. Once the fetus is born, screw it. All we have to say to Texas is: Please secede! And take Oklahoma, Arkansas and the other ass backward southern states with you. We promise we won’t fight a war to keep you with us, this time. Goodbye and good riddance, you stupid sanctimonious, holier-than-thou assholes!

The future inmates of Texas' educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.
The future inmates of Texas’ educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.

Go Nuts, Women!

The Jan. 6th hearings have begun and the committee members seem to be doing a good job of laying the groundwork that the Capitol riots were indeed an attempted coup (like we all know it was) and not a friendly, little tourist visit like TFG and his gaslighting Republicans sheeple claim it was. Will it lead to the lying, orange-haired megalomaniac and some of his henchman actually paying for their crimes and going to prison? Unfortunately, we’re pretty skeptical on that.

But as if on cue, the Supreme Court decided to take the attention off of Trump’s culpability by finally overturning Roe v. Wade and setting women’s rights back a half century. We’ve commented many times about a woman’s right to have autonomy over her own body. This seems straightforward to us here at the Bucket and we’re guys. Maybe if the situation is presented in a different way, then maybe the authoritarian christian conservatives who want to rule over every aspect of our lives with an iron fist will understand. Here goes! The uterus is a part of a woman’s body. The testes are parts of a man’s body. It stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman should be able to control a man’s testes. Since the ultra conservative Supreme Court has also expanded concealed gun rights and firearms are pretty much free for the taking here in America, maybe women should start blasting some nuts of these sanctimonious assholes to make a point. Then maybe they’d understand that a person should be able to control their own bodies. We say GO NUTS, WOMEN!!!

In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman's uterus, then a woman can control a man's testes. Go nuts, women!
In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman can control a man’s testes. Go nuts, women!

The Ignominious MTHead

The up and coming Republicans in the House of Representative are notorious for one reason – they’re all colossally stupid. Take Matt Gaetz … please. Much like his mentor TFG, Gaetz makes ten inane comments each day before breakfast. Then there is Colorado’s answer to Sarah Palin, Lauren Boobert (misspelling intended). She thinks she’s actually in the same class as AOC, but her comments and actions say otherwise. But the biggest ass on the GOP’s team has to Marjorie Taylor Greene, a.k.a. MTG or as she should be called MTHead. This living relic of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons mating has collected an astonishing collection of insipid statements in just less than two years of serving as a representative for Georgia’s 14th district which covers the northwest corner of the state.

Just how dumb is this woman? Here’s just a partial summary of her stupidity. MTHead stated that the 2018 California wildfires was started by Jewish space lasers. MTHead stated that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi uses her gazpacho (instead of Gestapo) police in order to spy on House members. MTHead was stripped of committee assignments because she spread QAnon conspiracy theories and incited violence against Democrats. MTHead has repeatedly called coronavirus a hoax and proudly spread anti-vaccine disinformation which won her a ban from Twitter. MTHead has been at the forefront of supporting TFG’s big lie about non-existent election fraud. MTHead has openly supported Russia’s dictator Vlad Putin in his illegal war against Ukraine. MTHead is famously pro-gun and anti-abortion. Her latest of countless gaffes is her conspiracy about Bill Gates forcing us to eat burgers made in peach tree dishes (instead of petri dishes). Holy Freaking Zeus, folks!!! This woman is a complete train wreck!!! What a MORON!!!

Unfortunately, the problem is that the district MTHead represents is heavily right wing conservative Republican. She just handily won her primary and looks to be a shoo-in for another two years despite being possibly the stupidest Congressperson in history. We know one thing: we will never visit that section of Georgia. The people who would elect this imbecile are not worth knowing.

The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia's 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.
The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia’s 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.

Thoughts And Prayers Aren’t Working

Another day, another mass shooting. Ahhhh, America! Memorial Day weekend was celebrated with eleven mass shootings. We’ve commented about the ineptitude of our lawmakers in relation to common sense gun laws numerous times before here over the years. And the cowardly corporate lackeys who call themselves Senators and Representatives are once again trotting out the empty platitudes of ‘thoughts and prayers’ after the deadly Uvalde school shooting last week and the horrendous massacre at supermarket in Buffalo on May 14th. Will these shootings be the ones that will get some gun control legislation passed? Sorry to be pessimistic, but no. This nation has a colossal problem and that is the love of guns is institutionalized in every aspect of our life; media, movies, culture and economy. Our politicians are nothing more than corporate lackeys for weapons industry and the NRA. The term ‘gun fetish’ is very appropriate. We’ve got people in this country who love guns more than life itself. And many of these people are the same ones who state that they are pro-life. The truth is that there are many people in this country who’ve never owned or shot a firearm and are living very happy, healthy, productive lives.

We’re repeating our photo-toon from our February 14, 2020 post. Once more, we say that if you love your guns more than life itself than do not call yourself pro-life. Guns exist to kill, not give life. So, go home and f*ck your guns, you hypocritic assholes.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!
Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!

The Rise Of The Sanctimonious Assholes

With the impending Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, thus ending a woman’s autonomy over her own body, the radical, right wing, authoritarian conservative christians are finally making their move. It’s been fifty years in the making and it shouldn’t be surprising to anybody who has been paying attention. The Republican Party has been taken over by the evangelical christians and it’s never been more evident than during the disastrous presidencies of George W. Bush and TFG here in the twenty-first century.

John Dean’s excellent book Conservatives Without Conscience mentions the rise of the religious extremists and how former Arizona Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater lamented their influence over the Republican party. It was Goldwater who suggested the book to Dean as a warning to what would happen if these zealots took over the party. Amazingly, Goldwater would probably be booted out of the party he once headed because his stances would be considered too moderate for today’s GOP. For instance, Goldwater was pro-choice, supported medical marijuana and advocated for gay rights. The former Senator stated about conservative christians:

Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.

Unfortunately, his prescient words have come to pass. The Supreme Court is loaded with regressive thinking religious conservatives who believe that Americans should be connecting to a first century database instead of a twenty-first century one. Furthermore, as we have found out in the past twenty years, compromise is a four letter word to them as they think that going to church every Sunday and saying prayers by rote like the sheeple they are somehow makes them superior to everyone else. Like we’ve mentioned before, they want to make America into the Holy Corporate Empire by any authoritarian means possible.

The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.
The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.

Rotten Cotton On Wimmin Folk

We’re still kind of in our malaise here at the Bucket but can you blame us. Geez, look at all the crap that’s happening right now: Russia’s war against Ukraine, the coronavirus’ war against all humans, the Republicans war against democracy and . . . drum roll please . . . the Republicans war against women.

Thanks to a leak, the Supreme Court is poised to overthrow a woman’s autonomy over her own body despite an overwhelming majority of people in America supporting a woman’s right to choose, especially in cases of rape and incest. Regressive states like Texas and Oklahoma have already passed laws prohibiting abortion after six weeks which basically is forcing a woman to give birth no matter what. Enter 2024 presidential hopeful Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, who is trying to present himself as heir apparent to TFG. Well, Mr. Cotton want’s to imprison any one who protests the anti-choice decision in true authoritarian fashion.

We’ve commented before about Cotton. He has the charisma of a wet diaper but he is way smarter than TFG. Would he stand a chance in 2024? We’ve seen that the Republican base will support even a jackass like TFG, so yes he would. Democrats should be wary of this Cletus Spuckler doppelganger because he would be just as ruthless as Trump and he has the intelligence to turn the United States into fascist nation or the Holy Corporate Empire.

Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson's yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin' up vittles.
Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson’s yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin’ up vittles.

Jan. 6th: Treason Day

January 6th marks the one year anniversary of the Capitol riots, or Treason Day as we’re calling it here at the Bucket, and like we mentioned in a previous post, many of the instigators like Paul Gosar, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Marjorie Taylor Greene are still roaming free and haven’t been brought to justice or even expelled from Congress. And the biggest culprit, TFG, is still blabbing and squawking about non-existent election fraud on his cross country tour including an upcoming appearance here in Arizona. Attorney General Merrick Garland, who sure seems to be taking his sweet time, assured America that his office will continue to pursue those responsible and that “the actions we have taken thus far will not be our last.” We certainly hope so because up to now, we haven’t been particularly impressed with Mr. Garland or his Department of Justice.

We’re reposting our photo-toon from our November post because it pretty much says it all. The facts surrounding Treason Day are undisputable. The investigation’s federal prosecutors have charged more than 700 people related to the attack, with new criminal cases introduced every week. Many of the accused have military backgrounds and are relatively young. About a quarter of those charged are accused of physical violence. But like we’ve said before, this was an attempted coup to overthrow a legitimate election with almost zero voter fraud, no matter how much the Republicans claim there was! This was a dress rehearsal. If we don’t punish those responsible, the next time . . . and there will be next time, the rioters will be successful and America will cease to be a democracy!

Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.
Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.

GOP Baby Factories – a.k.a. Women

The right-wing dominated Supreme Court has shown their true intentions about abortion rights by recently letting stand severe abortion bans in Texas and Mississippi. We’ve been screaming about their intentions for years here at the Bucket. States with Republican leadership ranging from bible thumping states like South Dakota and Alabama to our home state of Arizona have been slowly chipping away at abortion rights over the last twenty years. Religious zealots have seized control of state and federal government and forced their horribly archaic, first century viewpoints upon the citizenry of the country because these holy huckster bible thumpers still view the woman as nothing more than a baby factory. If these people were truly pro-life, they’d realize that the woman’s life should come first. But then hypocrisy does seem to be commonplace with these sheeple. They claim to be pro-life but then fervently support gun rights. They claim to be pro-life but then violently protest getting a life saving vaccine against a disease that has claimed over 800,000 people in the US and over 5 million word wide.

We’re re-posting a photo-toon from January 11, 2006 when ol’ Dubya nominated Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. This was the beginning of the end because since then, Alito, Thomas, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett (the Handmaiden’s Justice) have formed a staunch conservative religious bloc on the court that not only wants to force women through unwanted pregnancies but also to knock down the wall between church and state, thus forcing all of us to adhere to outdated, biblical philosophy whether we like it or not. Like we’ve stated before, we’re regressing rapidly toward America becoming the Holy Corporate Empire.

Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool (a wire hanger)which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he's on the bench.
Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he’s on the bench.

The Cuckoo Coup

We’re baaaaacccckkkk . . . well, kinda . . . sorta. It’s been seven months since our last post here at the Bucket and no, we don’t have COVID. We’re fully vaccinated and we still wear masks when we go to stores or enclosed spaces. So, where have we been? Like we mentioned in our last post, we’ve had the blahs – a feeling of languishing that was primarily caused by four years of non-stop chaos courtesy of TFG – (like many, we can’t say #45’s name anymore – we hate the man that much) – and the morally bankrupt fascist Republicans. But mostly we’ve been chillaxing; observing and trying to fathom some of the insanity that is happening, not only in this country, but in the world. For instance, we can’t figure out why people won’t get vaccinated against a deadly disease like COVID-19 which has killed over 5 million people worldwide and over 700,000 in the US. And governments like the US are trying to stop the spread by issuing mask mandates and offering the vaccine free of charge. But people are rioting against the life-saving measure and sometimes killing others in the process – madness; complete madness. Prominent conservative right wing anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers have even died from COVID complications which could have been prevented if they had just gotten the vaccine. And somehow athletes and former reality show hosts know more than doctors do about microbiology. Sheer insanity.

There has been an avalanche of worrisome events that have occurred over the summer and we can’t comment on all that has happened in just one post. Joe Biden and most of the Democrats have delivered on their promises for making the vaccine widely available and trying to control the pandemic. They’re restored ties and relations with our allies and improved our standing on the world stage again. They’ve also delivered on the infrastructure bill despite sabotage from a couple DINOs: West Virginia’s Coal Lovin’ Joe Manchin and Arizona’s own Miss Cutesy-Pie Bait and Switcher Krysten Sinema (we’ll comment more on these specimens later). All in all, the Democrats have accomplished a lot in the last eight months, not that the media has given them much credit. Despite the Democrats performing well, we’ve seen disturbing developments from the corporate main stream media that reminds us of when Obama got elected. The Democrats swept into power but yet the ‘liberal’ media focused on the Republicans, which allowed for the rise of the Teabagger movement, which morphed into the MAGA cult. For instance, Biden correctly withdrew from Afghanistan but the Taliban took back the country. The corporate media portrayed this as Biden’s fault completely forgetting the last twenty years of our disastrous involvement in this country where empires go to die. Well, we don’t have short memories here at the Bucket. The fault lies with George W. Bush for getting tangled up in the quagmire to begin with. We’ve got much more commentary on this subject matter later, too.

But what really has us worried is that few people have been reprimanded for the Jan. 6th capitol riots. Honestly, folks – we’re students of history here and this smells just like other fascist attacks in history like in Italy and Germany in the 1920s and 1930s and Chile in the 1980s. Using terminology from Naomi Klein’s book, The Shock Doctrine, the Republicans are implementing shock and awe on their own country. And to make matters worse, it seems to be working. The top story in the supposedly liberal media every night should be about reprimanding all the assailants of the Capitol and all their enablers in Congress. Why haven’t we seen Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley expelled yet? Why are Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert still serving? They openly aided and abetted the insurrection. The media should be grilling them over this. But instead they just repeat the Republican’s weak, disturbing attempt at gaslighting saying the the riot was nothing more than an friendly tour of the Capitol. We’ve seen the pictures, morons! This was an attempted coup to overthrow a legitimate election with almost zero voter fraud, no matter how much the Republicans claim there was! Fortunately, more evidence that TFG and other congressional Republicans instigated and were behind the coup. Democrats are advising democracy loving Americans to be patient, but time is running out, folks. According to some sources, the Republicans incredulously are primed to take back the House and the Senate in 2022. If that happens, democracy will be dead because the Republican absolutely will resume tearing apart this government and forcing their fascist, corporatist and religious agendas down every American’s throat.

Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.
Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.

Another Shooting? Ho Hum…

Joe Biden promised during his presidential campaign to return the country to normalcy after the clusterf*ck reign of America’s Twice Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. And so far, he’s off to a good start. He’s gotten people vaccinated, he’s getting his cabinet approved, and he’s started to restore America’s reputation abroad.

But one thing has reared it’s ugly head that nobody wanted to return; mass shootings. In the past two weeks, we’ve had shootings in Atlanta and Boulder. And as usual, the same, pathetic response by the corporate media and politicians has occurred in the aftermath of the tragedies. One Atlanta police captain quoted another investigator saying that the shooter in the Atlanta case was having a ‘bad day’. Ahhh. That poor widdle killer! But then again that’s par for the course in America. We’ve noted here many times before that the motto for most conservatives in this country is In Guns We Trust. After every mass shooting, these 2nd Amendment gun nuts come out and poo-poo the whole ordeal, the NRA bitches and moans and the corporate lackeys in Congress sit on their hands and do nothing. What’s more is that the corporate media and Hollywood focus on the killers. The madmen who pull the trigger became famous and some even have movies made about them, while the victims melt into the background and are remembered only by friends and family. You’d think after the Sandy Hook massacre way back in 2012, something would have been done. But, nooooooooo! You’d think after the 2012 Aurora movie theater massacres, something would have been done. But, nooooooooo! You’d think after the Orlando nightclub shootings in 2016, something would have been done. But, nooooooooo! Take a look at the mass shootings in America. But Republicans seem to only be concerned about stopping people from voting, not from killing one another.

There’s been talk that President Biden may issue an executive order to ban assault weapons. Since the Republicans seem to not give a damn about saving people’s lives either from mass shootings or the coronavirus, we say go for it, Joe! We’re sick of the mass shootings, but we’re even more sick of the same old excuses by feckless conservative politicians and the goddamn NRA.

A conservative police captain shows sympathy for the poor shooter and reminds citizens who foolishly want sane gun laws that the motto of the United States is In Guns We Trust.
A conservative police captain shows sympathy for the poor shooter and reminds citizens who foolishly want sane gun laws that the motto of the United States is In Guns We Trust.