Archive for Holy Huckster Hijinx

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wall

Trump is closing in on the 100 day mark with very little to show for it. Other than his placement of Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court (which has more to do with Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and his fellow Senate Republicans using the nuclear option), he’s done nothing more than bomb Syria and bomb Afghanistan and those were done mostly to distract people’s attention away from the investigation into his ties with Russia during the 2016 election and give boners to journalists like Brian Williams and Fareed Zakaria.

Well, there’s been a clamoring recently about what Trumpty Dumpty plans to do with his promised wall, which he promised would be a done deal by now. The truth is the wall isn’t needed, most people don’t want it and it would be a massive waste of taxpayers money, much like Trump’s repeated trips to his posh, opulent Florida resort, Mar-a-lago, so he can play golf. During the Obama administration, illegal immigration declined (1 million unauthorized immigrants returned to Mexico) and will continue to go down (illegal crossing down 40% in Trump’s first month) because the United States has the biggest, most dangerous doofus, outside of North Korea, in charge of the country. The only deterrent we need is plastering the Donald’s face on welcome billboards at the border with some of his delightful words of wisdom and nobody in their right mind would want to come into this country. Hell, we don’t even want to stay in this country with the orange rage monster at the helm. So we say, we don’t need no stinkin’ wall.

The United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration featuring Donald Trump welcoming people from Mexico with his words of wisdom.

Instead of building an unnecessary, expensive border wall, the United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration.

Rich, Good: Poor, Bad

If you’ve had doubt about where the Republican priorities stand, Utah Representative Jason Chaffetz has clarified the GOP’s position quite clearly within the last couple weeks. Chaffetz, the smuggest congressman alive and the head of the House Oversight committee, recently conjectured that Donald Trump is rich already, therefore he cannot possibly be corrupt and looking into Trump’s conflicts of interest in connection with Russia is just a waste of time. And don’t even mention all the fraud with the Trump foundation. Chaffetz thinks nothing is wrong there despite Trump admitted to self-dealing. All Chaffetz wants to do is investigate Hillary Clinton.

So the rich aren’t corrupt, eh? Just let that sink in for a minute or so. There’s a whole laundry list of rich people who’ve committed white collar crimes. Just go back to the financial crisis of 2007 and 2008 and the Great Recession and the sub prime mortgage fiasco. Or how about the Enron scandal. Tons of greedy CEOs and corporate plutocrats who got off scot free with all the loot. Basically Chaffetz seems to be saying that only people who don’t have money could possibly be corrupt and that people who are rich are above silly laws and regulations. Plutocrats —> good; working poor —> bad.

Remember when Pussygate erupted, Chaffetz said he couldn’t possibly support Donald Trump. But Trump is president now, so Chaffetz is just going to look the other way as are all the other ‘ethical and moral’ Republicans. Chaffetz has shown such partisanship and lack of integrity as a congressman that he cannot be trusted to do his job and police his own party. Like The Atlantic said in their article, you might as well call his committee the House Overlook Committee. There are a lot of people angry at Chaffetz as evidence by his town hall meeting back in February. Maybe, just maybe, he and a ton of other Republicans will be ousted in 2018.

Smuggest congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz displays his faultless logic as head of the House Oversight Committee that plutocrats are saintly angels and poor people are corrupt vermin.

Smuggest congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz displays his faultless logic as head of the House Oversight Committee, that plutocrats are saintly angels and couldn’t possibly be corrupt.

 

The Perfidious Plot of Puritan Pence

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, recently grabbed headlines away from Donald Trump, which isn’t easy to do nowadays. First, Pence cast the deciding vote on a bill which paves the way for defunding Planned Parenthood. Donald Trump just signed it into law. Pence is a full fledged evangelical zealot, whose religious intentions seem to be taking America back to the seventeenth century. This bill is an affront to women everywhere, but that doesn’t seem to matter to conservative christian males, who still base their views of women on the antiquated views postulated in the bible. The picture of the people (all white males) who decided women’s healthcare, which has become viral, shows that these troglodytes view women as mere possessions, who should only do household chores, have babies and shut up.

The second incident has to do with an interview Pence did back in the 2002 where he stated that he would never have dinner alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife. While many in the corporate news media defended Pence, claiming how gallant and gentlemanly this is, we here at the Bucket tend to think otherwise. We haven’t come to our atheism and our aversion to evangelical christians without experience. This is blatantly about Pence not wanting to tempt himself, which the article linked to above, addresses. There are many christians who are so sexually repressed that they can’t even say the words vagina or penis without turning twenty shades of crimson and dying of embarrassment. In their minds, sex or anything having to do with sex should not be discussed and any kind of modern thinking on contraception and birth control is wrong.

What makes Pence so dangerous is that compared to Trump, he seems reasonable. He’s becoming normalized by the media and he’s anything but normal. He is a right wing, radical, christian zealot. If he has his way, women’s rights, will be turned back a generation…or more.  We wouldn’t be surprised if Puritan Pence resurrects public shaming of women who have had an abortion or may even want an abortion; akin to making Puritan women wear a scarlet letter on their frocks. Behind that genteel smile, is a perfidious plot to take away women’s rights and return them to the kitchen, barefoot, pregnant and silent.

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, who is boldly trying to return America to the 17th century, courageously turns down a dinner invitation from a foul temptress who has a scarlet letter A on her chest indicating that she had or was thinking about having an abortion.

Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, who is boldly trying to return America to the 17th century, courageously turns down a dinner invitation from a foul temptress who may or may not have had an abortion.

 

Trump’s Lapdog In The Dog House

In a stunning reversal of fortune, California Republican representative Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, recused himself as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation into the Trump administration’s ties with Russia during the 2016 election.

Nunes has received much criticism from Democrats and moderate Republicans for appearing to be CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s lapdog. In the past couple of weeks, Fido has gone out of his way to make sure Donald Trump knew what was going on during the proceedings, which is a huge violation of House rules, federal law and ethics. But hey…when has that stopped the Republicans before. He is now under investigation for possibly disclosing classified information. Fido’s colleague, Rep. Ted Yoho, even said in defense of his friend, “Nunes is a man of high integrity and character”. Then he went on to say “You gotta keep in mind who he works for. He works for the president. He answers to the president.” No. No he doesn’t. Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes works for the constituents of the 22nd congressional district in California, not the President. He should put the people’s interest first since this is…you know…A DEMOCRACY.

Yep, Fido Nunes has been a good boy for his authoritarian master. We have no doubt he’ll be rewarded for his service like the good little lapdog he is.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin 'Fido' Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.

Republican Crimes Against Nature

While the Republican Health Care Plan failure, Trump’s Russia connections and a multitude of other daily flak from Trump’s bumbling acolytes like Devin Nunes, Sean Spicer and Jared Kushner have taken center stage, the Republican’s war on the environment has commenced in the background and it doesn’t look good for nature, science and the general well being of every living thing on this planet.

Trump approved going ahead with the Keystone XL pipeline despite protests from native Americans and environmentalists citing that it will only exacerbate climate change. But of course, new EPA administrator and lawyer (non-scientist), Scott Pruitt, despite overwhelming scientific consensus by climate scientists and experts, says that climate change isn’t real. Basically, Pruitt is just a lackey for the fossil fuel industry and will anything to deceive the public about climate change. Therefore, the Keystone XL pipeline can commence and oil barons like Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, can reap the benefits.

Unfortunately, the environment and humans will suffer the horrible consequences. It turns out that the December oil spill of 530,000 gallons in North Dakota (the biggest in that state’s history) was three times larger than previously reported. This brings to light a couple of things. One, the oil spill barely got coverage from the corporate media because that would put the oil industry in a bad light and might hurt business. And two, the oil industry lied about the size of the spill because reporting the real size would put the oil industry in a bad light and might hurt business. Get the picture. The only thing that matters is business and profit. If there’s an oil leak, learn to love the taste of oil in your drinking water.

To illustrate how inept and corrupt the corporate media is about reporting anything bad about the oil industry, take a look at this website which reports oil and gas pipeline incidents from 2010 to the present. 3,300 incidents! That’s a hell of a lot of incidents! So why haven’t we the citizens heard about them in the news media?

The Republican’s war on science is nothing new. Read the books Republican War on Science by Chris Mooney and Crimes Against Nature by Robert Kennedy Jr., both released during the Bush Administration, and you’ll see that the GOP has repeatedly put short term profit of the coal, gas and oil industries (major contributors to the GOP coffers) above long term consequences for the environment. To illustrate this, CEO/Dictator Trump signed an executive order last week which rolls back more of Clean Power Plan Obama’s regulations and enabling the oil, gas and coal industries to pollute to their hearts content. According to the GOP’s spiel, they’re getting rid of job killing regulations. Big deal, so we can have jobs that kill people in the long run? Besides that the promise of jobs coming back is another con. According the article linked above, “rolling back the Clean Power Plan and other environmental regulations won’t restore jobs”. So Trump and his Republican cohorts are once again conning the American public. But this con will have nasty repercussions for all of us, in the form of more pollution, risk of exposure to hazardous chemicals and gases and creating an unhealthy environment for humans and other species.

EPA director Scott Pruitt and Secretary of State and oil baron, Rex Tillerson, announce that the Keystone Pipeline will be constructed and that climate change and oil leaks don't exist despite obvious evidence that they do.

EPA director Scott Pruitt and Secretary of State/Oil Baron, Rex Tillerson, perform their patented gaslighting trick on the citizens of planet Earth by denying the existence of climate change, oil leaks and anything else which may disrupt their agenda of profiting off the environment at any and all cost.

Trump: Modern Day Golden Calf

It’s April Fools Day, so what better way to celebrate it then by poking fun at the biggest fool in America and all the fools who support and enable him.

The more the Trump administration falters, the more his enablers come to the forefront and not only lie their asses to the public, but also to themselves. We’ve mentioned again and again in our posts, it’s absolutely astounding that anybody bought Trump’s shit during the campaign season, but here it is April 2017 and he’s president of the most powerful country on Earth. This isn’t an elaborate April Fools Day prank; this is, extremely unfortunately,…REALITY.

But the biggest joke is on the christians who voted for this selfish, greedy, egotistical, materialistic bigoted megalomaniac, who isn’t like Jesus at all. As a matter of fact, he’s the polar opposite. How can christians justify and enable this man, who claims to be for the common person, but yet pursues policies which will leave them impoverished, sick and broken while making his rich, plutocrat brethren even richer? Like we said a couple posts ago, if you make under 100k a year and you vote Republican, you are voting against your own self interests and you are a sucker and a fool. Or to put it in biblical terms, you are worshiping a modern day golden calf and that calf’s name is Donald Trump.

Donald Trump - Modern Day Golden Calf

The biblical story of the golden calf has resurrected itself in the form of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

 

What A Bunch Of Suckers

With the recent failure of the Republican Healthcare Plan or the American Health Care Act or Ryancare or Trumpcare, you would think that more of the people who voted for Trump would be realizing that he isn’t what he claimed to be. Although Trump’s approval numbers are abysmal, he’s still popular with most of his base. We’ve noted before that he is the master bait and switcher and that a few Trumpeters have come to the conclusion, albeit way too slowly, that the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), while certainly not perfect or ideal, is actually a good thing and a good first step to what this country really needs: single payer health care.

So it brings us back to our continual bewilderment which we’ve talked about ad infinitum before: how the hell such an obvious con artist like Trump won the election. Why would anyone who made under 100k a year vote for a man who obviously supports the rich and wealthy and has proven it so far in his administration? He has loaded his cabinet with billionaire plutocrats and people whose only interest is in the well being of corporations, their stockholders and their own investment portfolios. His failed healthcare plan gave tax relief to the richest Americans. He’s admitted that his proposed tax plan would favor the wealthy. He’s also just signed a bill which repeals protection for workers from wage theft from unscrupulous employers, proving that in any given conflict, he will side with the rich executives and not the middle class and poor workers. But this isn’t just characteristic of Trump, the whole Republican party has been relentlessly cruel to the poor.  But yet the workers of this country continue deluding themselves that they’re temporarily embarrassed millionaires and worship the selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra- materialistic, ultra-competitive assholes who populate the GOP.

So what do you call people who make less than 100k a year and yet vote for Republicans: Suckers!

What do you call people who make less than 100k a year and vote Republican: Suckers!

Many Trump and Republican supporters must face the ugly truth: they’re a bunch of suckers.

GOP’s Compassionate Christian Healthcare Plan

The Republicans have released their healthcare plan that will replace the Affordable Healthcare Act (Obamacare) and surprise, surprise, it sucks. There’s plenty to hate about this plan called the American Health Care Act(AHCA or Trumpcare); so much so that the American Medical Association, American Hospital Association, American Nurses Association and AARP (among numerous others) have all come out against it. John Oliver did a brilliant and humorous analysis on the plan Sunday night.

So where millions obtained affordable healthcare under Obamacare, it is estimated by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) that 24 million will lose access under Trumpcare and would have devastating consequences for the old and poor. Not only that, the wealthiest Americans would get enormous tax benefits from the plan. We’re wondering what Jesus would say about the Republican’s compassionate christian effort to deny basic healthcare services to the poor, sick and elderly.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, applauds the new Republican healthcare plan, which will compassionately make getting basic medical services more difficult for the poor and elderly while giving enormous tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, applauds the new Republican healthcare plan, which will compassionately make getting basic medical services more difficult for the poor and elderly while giving enormous tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans.

Ben Carson’s Slavery Alternative Facts

We knew from Con-a-thon 2016 that Ben Carson was pretty inept, but Wow! Despite warning everyone that he wasn’t qualified to hold a cabinet position, Carson accepted CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s appointment to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) even though Carson had no qualifications.

Well in his first official address, Carson brought out some big time alternative facts by stating that African Americans came to America as immigrants ‘to a land of dreams and opportunity’. Yeah that’s right everyone. In the warped minds of conservatives, slaves were coming voluntarily to America to work their dream jobs of working sun up to sun down every day for no pay and maybe some food and water if they worked hard enough (thirty lashes if they didn’t). Remember when Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly tried to push that crap that slavery wasn’t all that bad on the public last year. Well, Ben Carson is now drinking the Kool-Aid and blathering this crap to the masses, thus proving how truly unqualified he is. Seriously, how was this man a brain surgeon. We wouldn’t even allow him to cut our steaks let alone cut into our brains.

Actor Samuel L. Jackson had the best retort to Carson’s inanity. He responded on Twitter ““OK!! Ben Carson …. I can’t! Immigrants ? In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!” Later he doubled down by stating “It strikes me as misguided, and, more than anything, for a person that is supposed to be as smart as he is, it smacks of ignorance. If you cannot proofread something and see for yourself that there is something wrong with this, then you really don’t need to be where you are, and you should probably do us all a favor and resign and go off into obscurity.” Bravo Samuel L. Jackson!!! We’d really like to see his character from Pulp Fiction, hitman Jules Winnfield, take up the issue with sleepy purveyor of alternative facts, Ben Carson.

Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson's alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson’s alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Perjurious Sessions

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is certainly living up to his low expectations that we set for him. It has just been revealed that the new Attorney General lied under oath about communications with the Russians during the 2016 election. Sessions said that he didn’t but new reports confirm that he did talk with Russian the ambassador. Of course, in true Republican fashion, he blamed the people who asked the questions not his own impeccable self. But he did recuse himself from any inquiry into any interference from Russia during the 2016 election.

Of course, America’s new CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump defended his attorney general saying he did nothing wrong. Trump has also started practicing another typical GOP canard; blaming the previous Democratic president. The incompetent Bush Administration took delight in blaming all their mistakes on Bill Clinton. Now, Trump is doing the same to Obama. He’s even gone as far as accusing Obama of wiretapping him during the election, without proof of course. We almost wish Obama did wiretap Trump and an investigation would commence. Then at least we’d hear about the conversations Trump and his lackeys may have had with the Russians.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, receives instructions from his boss, CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, that his perjury about his conversations with the Russian ambassador during the 2016 election at his confirmation hearings was actually all Barack Obama's fault.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, receives instructions from his boss, CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, that his perjury about his conversations with the Russian ambassador during the 2016 election at his confirmation hearings was actually all Barack Obama’s fault.