Archive for Holy Huckster Hijinx

Sham And Shame

The week is up on the sham FBI inquiry into Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford and it looks like the boozy, partisan judge will likely be confirmed given the preposterously limited scope of the investigation. There were many people who weren’t even questioned. We’re thinking that agents probably just sat around eating pizza and drinking beer; maybe even playing that popular drinking game The Devil’s Triangle.

There were several witnesses and people who claimed that Brett Kavanaugh lied under oath who were completely ignored by the probe. Why? Because this is a rush to justice by the hypocritical Republicans who can never admit they’re wrong on anything or anybody. They could easily nominate someone else who isn’t such a lightning rod, but no…that would be admitting defeat to a bunch of liberals. Kavanaugh will be a reliable cog in the conservative seizure of power in the nation.

So is this shameful Kavanaugh inquiry what we can expect from the Mueller FBI probe? Will Mueller finally come out and say ‘nothing to see here, folks’, after a year and a half of leading people on that there was malfeasance by Trump during the 2016 election? We’ve just about lost any shred of respect for supposedly venerable institutions of law, order and justice in this country. In America, there is shamefully only justice for the elite, well connected people with money, wealth and influence; namely Republicans in the vein of Brett Kavanaugh. The system is truly broken.

P.S. We recommend going to a chiropractor, Jeff Flake, since you seem to have a colossal problem with your spine. We knew your posturing for the FBI investigation was nothing but political theater. Way to stand up for women, you phony, feckless coward! We look forward to you leaving the Senate next year.

Since the scope of the FBI investigation is limited to pizza and beer by Donald Trump, agents research the drinking game Devil's Triangle.

FBI agents diligently perform research into the more intricate aspects of the Brett Kavanaugh investigation, like eating pizza and drinking beer.

Judge Rage

The hearings on Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford took center stage this week and the spectacle raised the Republican level of ugly to a whole new level (as if that were possible after two years of Donald Trump). Ms. Blasey Ford accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault back in high school, when Kavanaugh was a boozy, over-privileged Catholic school prepster. Of course, Kavanaugh went to college, became a frat boy and continued his elite, pampered ways with other spoiled brat frat buddies, lifting weights, boozing it up and scoring with the women. Now, he’s in another good ol’ boy’s club called the Republican party, where every woman should just be silent and let the menfolk conduct business. Once again, John Oliver gives a humorous, insightful analysis of the circus like proceedings.

Ms. Blasey Ford’s testimony was very credible by even Republican accounts. But Kavanaugh’s unhinged, political diatribe against the Clintons, Dems and everything to the left of center was downright disgusting and horribly disturbing. Kavanaugh doesn’t show the right temperament to be a Supreme Court justice (but he’d do just fine as an analyst on Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network).  At least, Arizona’s Senator Jeff Flake finally discovered his spine at the very last second and announced that an FBI investigation should be conducted…for one whole week. Wow! Thanks for all the time! And apparently the investigation will be very narrow in scope and controlled by…you guessed it…the White House. What a surprise! So apparently Trumpty Dumpty is gearing up for getting rid of Mueller in some duplicitous manner.

The Republicans are blatantly trying to shove this pompous, privileged, political henchman through to the highest court in the land so they can have complete and total control over this country for at least the next decade. Kavanaugh proved with his political rant that he would not be impartial and would rule in favor of whatever the Republican’s wanted whether it is right or wrong. The old coot Senators like Orrin Hatch, Lindsey Graham and ol’ Iowa pruneface, Chuck Grassley, couldn’t contain their supposed rage at the injustice being served at their boy, conveniently forgetting that they sat on Merrick Garland’s nomination for 400 days back in 2016 because they didn’t want to lose their precious advantage on the Supreme Court, not to mention the shitload of mendacious crap they’ve heaped on the Obamas, the Gores, the Kerrys and the Clintons in the last quarter century.

So what is the takeaway from this spectacle? Ms. Blasey Ford is completely credible and Brett Kavanaugh is a disingenuous, deceitful, partisan prevaricator who doesn’t deserve to be a Supreme Court justice. One more thing: get out and vote this November 6th and give these old fart GOP senators a swift kick in the their saggy, senile, decrepit asses.

Supreme Court nominee and unhinged, privileged, boozy ex-frat boy, Brett Kavanaugh vows bloody revenge on all who oppose him much to the delight of his unhinged, senile, old coot supporters in the Republican Senate's Good Ol' Boys club.

Supreme Court nominee and unhinged, privileged, boozy ex-frat boy, Brett Kavanaugh vows bloody revenge on all who oppose him much to the delight of his unhinged, senile, old coot supporters in the Republican Senate’s Good Ol’ Boys club.

America’s Greatest Antifa Warriors

America’s CEO/Donald Trump has been steadily guiding America toward an authoritarian, corporatist, fascist state ever since he came into office much to the delight of Republicans, who’ve been clamoring for this ever since Franklin Roosevelt created the New Deal. The 2016 election was their coup and Trump is now ramming through the Republican’s agenda (like last year’s tax cuts that favor the rich) that has already given power to top corporations in America for years to come while drastically reducing the capability of the average American consumer to protest or dissent. Or basically democracy…but only for the rich.

Now our orange haired man child is whining about the antifa protesters who have been engaging against white supremacists in many protest marches around the country. Trump claims it is the antifa groups who are the violent parties and America should fear them more than the Neo-Nazis. This is propaganda that would have made Joseph Goebbels very proud. We have volumes of evidence of the violence perpetrated by Nazis throughout history. And yet Trump vilifies the people who fight against them. You know who else were huge antifa warriors?; every single American man and woman who fought against Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy during World War II. By claiming antifa doesn’t represent America’s values is a slap in the face of every American who gave their lives during World War II. It’s unbelievable that so many supposedly patriotic Republicans are not only buying this bullshit but supporting it. We’re pretty sure the last great Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, would probably be in the anti-fascist camp.  Wake up America!

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.

The Untouchables: 2018

Paul Manafort is the latest former associate of Donald Trump to flip and it has many speculating as to whether this is the beginning of the end for the orange haired man child who is America’s CEO/Dictator. Most people agree that things aren’t looking good for Trump, but then again things have never looked good for the Donald during his entire disastrous presidency and yet he is still — unfrickingbelievably — president.

This whole clusterf*cked trauma brings to mind for us old farts here at the Bucket, the early 1960s crime drama The Untouchables starring Robert Stack as Eliot Ness, which has been constantly played in syndication on TV for the last fifty years. In the episodes, Ness and his band of incorruptible G-men pursued noted criminal gangsters like Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti and the kingpin, Al Capone.  The lead-in and ending graphic for the show was very stylistic and combined with the iconic theme music, set the mood perfectly for the drama. We can just imagine a possible reality reboot of the show with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid team of FBI agents as they descend on Trump Tower to bring to justice members of the Republican crime syndicate like Manafort, Michael Cohen and of course, the dear leader, the real Alphonse Capone of the 21st century, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

The Perfect Visual Metaphor

It’s been a nerve-wracking several days for the inhabitants of North Carolina and South Carolina as they have dealt with the preparation for and are still enduring the effects of Hurricane Florence, which is now slowly spinning over South Carolina, still packing tropical storm force winds and drenching the region with record rainfall and flooding reminiscent of last year’s Hurricane Harvey in Houston.

While watching the coverage of the storm online, we noticed a web cam set up on Frying Pan Tower off the coast of Cape Fear in North Carolina. The cam was set up focusing mainly on the American flag fluttering in the wind with the stormy seas rolling behind it. As time went on, the violent winds of Hurricane Florence battered and eventually ripped the flag to shreds. We thought: what a perfect visual metaphor for what category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is doing to American democracy and rule of law.

Much like Hurricane Florence demolished the American flag at Frying Pan Tower in North Carolina, category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is shredding American democracy and rule of law.

Much like Hurricane Florence demolished the American flag at Frying Pan Tower in North Carolina, category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is shredding American democracy and rule of law.

Christians: The Original Sheeple

One of the most astonishing thing about Trump supporters that is unbelievably and stupefyingly mind boggling is that many of them are in fact, evangelical christians. Some are even speaking in tongues to protect Donald Trump. We’ve commented ad infinitum about their willingness to follow not just Trump but George W. Bush or any Republican leader who claims to love God, since the days of Dubya’s craptastic administration, which is basically since we started online back in 2003 (or aught three as old fart staff member, Chester Einstein, puts it). How can people who worship Jesus as their lord and savior support someone who represents the exact opposite of the person Jesus taught us to be?

Well, you can thank their teachers, pastors, priests and leaders for brainwashing them from day one to believe everything they say and that anybody who says otherwise is an agent of Satan. We’re atheists here at the Bucket, but we do abide by the golden rule, which pre-dates christianity. We were brought up in an religious environment, so we know from whence we speak. The organized christian religions are very authoritarian in nature; just look at the catholic church. The pope is considered to be infallible. That means he is never wrong and if you even suggest that he could be wrong, then you will face the consequences of excommunication or damnation in that mythical place of pain and suffering, hell. Dex Rexter, BilgeBucket editor, remembers very well the nuns searing into his young, malleable catholic brain to never, never, NEVER be a doubting Thomas or Jesus will be very upset with you and cast you into the pit of hell for all eternity. Fear is used as a weapon from day one on people in organized religious environments and used quite effectively. Just look at the art work of Hieronymous Bosch from the fifteenth century. Do what the preacher says and you’ll get to go to heaven; disobey and go to hell and get poked by demons with pitchforks. Of course, in reality, heaven and hell don’t exist. But this use of fear by religious authoritarians is the same methodology employers in corporate America get their employees to do whatever they want. They dangle that golden carrot telling their subordinates that if they work extra hard they’ll be rewarded with riches beyond their dreams, knowing full well that when the employee inevitably burns out or outlives their usefulness, they’ll be fired. Just ask the employees of Enron, Carrier or any of the other shit load of companies who’ve screwed their employees and consumers to augment the coffers of the top executives.

Another thing that is astonishingly aggravating is that many christians are anti-science and actually call critical thinking, logical and rational people who accept the truth of such things as climate change or evolution, sheeple. Really!? How ironic! Christians are the original sheeple! It’s even built into the dogma. Every christian is forced to pray the mantra “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” or think for that matter. The metaphor of Jesus as the shepherd and everyone else as the sheep is everywhere in the christian faith. That is why the congregation must do what the pastor, priest or minister tells them to do, like vote for Trump, because the self acclaimed holy me are tighter with God than the average commoner. That’s how these prosperity gospel charlatans get away with their crap and the people’s money for materialistic wealth that Jesus taught against.

Make no mistake; the Republicans have exactly who they want in the Oval Office, that is why they are sitting on their keisters why all chaos descends on the White House and this country. Trump is the ultimate CEO; the exemplary authoritarian who barks out orders and condemns those who dissent. We ask the christian sheeple to wake up and realize that this wolf in sheep’s clothing, this golden calf, is nothing like Jesus, who preached the golden rule, to have tolerance and respect for others even if they were different and to eschew greed and materialistic wealth and to take care each other.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

Trumpland Motto: Truth Isn’t Truth

Things are getting mighty strange and confusing in the enormous conservative Republican bubble called Trumpland, a.k.a. the Republican party, these days. Paul Manafort has been found guilty on eight counts of financial crimes. Trump’s old lawyer, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to campaign finance violations . And Trump’s current lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, keeps making a colossal ass out of himself. The most recent time occurred this past weekend when Giuliani told Meet the Press host, Chuck Prod…er…we mean Todd, that “Truth isn’t Truth”. We answer that statement in the voice of Dana Carvey’s the Church Lady, “Well, well, well. Isn’t that Orwellian!”

So what exactly is the truth to Giuliani or any cowardly, feckless Republican these days. Since the GOP has gone into full fascist mode, we’re guessing that the truth is anything America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, a.k.a. Dear Leader, says it is.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump's lawyer, Rudy Giuliani states boldly and clearly that the truth isn't the truth or that the truth is what Donald Trump says it is.

To cowardly, feckless Republicans, the truth is what America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, a.k.a. Dear Leader, says it is.

Wake Up America!

We’re still astonished that forty percent of Americans are still supporting America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, even after he’s admitted to collusion with Russia and practically knelt down and licked Vladimir Putin’s shoes during their summit in Helsinki. Of course, over the course of the last three years there have been many moments when Trump did or said something so incredibly insipid, stupid or ridiculous that any sane person would have thought surely people would abandon him. But not only are his base supporters applauding him, (Trump supporters are even wearing “I’d rather be a Russian than a Democrat” t-shirts) but the Republicans are doing nothing to reprimand him or reign him in thus indicating they are fine with Russia intervening in our elections, especially if it keeps Republicans in power.

Can you imagine the outrage if decent Republican presidents of the past like Eisenhower or Reagan had done what Trump has done? What if Eisenhower had said he didn’t trust the CIA and invited Krushchev to put missiles anywhere he wanted? What if Reagan (who called the Soviet Union the evil empire) fawned over Gorbachev, calling him ‘strong and powerful’? Can you imagine the outrage if Obama had asked Putin to help him win his elections? We’re living in a time where the supposedly ‘moral and righteous’ Republican party is anything but. The Republicans are nothing but feckless, mendacious hypocrites who revel at putting party above country, truth and justice. At least it seems with recent primary elections that some Americans are finally waking up to the GOP’s treachery.  Just this week, the Ohio congressional seat special election in district 12 is still too close to call and this district is about as red as you can get. We have one thing to say to Trump supporters or people on the fence about our orange haired, man child president: Wake Up!

Can you imagine the outrage if Eisenhower said he trusted the KGB more than the CIA or if Reagan fawned over a 'strong and powerful' Gorbachev or if Obama received help wining his elections from Putin.

Modern day Republicans conveniently look away from Trump’s outrageous actions that would have gotten previous presidents universal condemnation.

Putin’s Bitch

We’re still flabbergasted by Donald Trump’s performance at his summit with Vladimir Putin in Helsinki a few weeks ago. We’ve never seen such a shameful display by a United States president. Many others, including Republicans agree with us. Dubya came close when he got all romantic about looking into Putin’s eyes and seeing into his soul, ”I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul.”  But Trump’s actions boggle the mind.

To make matters worse, Trump insists on gaslighting Americans by stating that Russia is really sorry that Trump is President …er… CEO/Dictator and that they might influence the upcoming election… for Democrats.  But all indications are that because Trump and the Republicans are in power, Russia and Putin are relevant on the world stage again and they couldn’t be happier. Or like Trump said in Helsinki, “Putin is strong and powerful.”

And all pictures and videos seem to back this up.  There are very few pictures from the Helsinki summit where the normally glum Putin, isn’t smiling, like this pic from after Trump’s secret meeting with Putin. Oh yeah… Trump really looks like he’s laying down the law to Putin. Russia must really have something good on Trump… just sayin’.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, boldly lays down the law with Russian president, Vladimir Putin.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, boldly lays down the law with Russian president, Vladimir Putin.

Full On Fascism

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has been busy this past week doing more outrageous, inane acts and his Republican cohorts in Congress keep shaking their heads, castigating him about the acts and then sitting on their ass doing nothing like the feckless cowards they are. This kind of complicit behavior is indicative that the GOP not only doesn’t have a problem with Trump, they approve strongly of his actions. Republicans have been wanting to establish permanent dominance over this nation for some time and now they’ve got their authoritarian bully in the White House to make it happen.

Trump and his sycophants at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, have blabbered that a coup is coming by the Democrats using any means possible, like immigration protests. But as usual, Trump lies and deceives. No, the real coup arrived with the 2016 election when the Russians helped Trump and the radical, conservative christian Republicans win so they could stack the courts and jam their narrow minded agenda down not just this nation’s throat but the world’s throat. The Republicans are actively touting the truth as ‘fake news’ and vilifying the press or anyone for pointing out the GOP’s lies and deceptions. Take Trump’s recent Orwellian VFW speech where he told the attendees that “what you’re seeing is not what’s happening”. So, don’t trust your eyes and ears or your even your own thoughts. Believe only what Donald Trump tells you. Wow!!! A free press is vital to a functioning democratic society. But the Republicans are so hell bent on maintaining their power forever that they’re not even faking a tolerance for democracy. The GOP is going full on fascist!

We’ve commented before about Sinclair Lewis’s warning about fascism coming to America: “When fascism comes to America, it will wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” Well, it’s here staring us right in the face. We’re basically a corporate oligarchy, a.k.a. the Holy Corporate Empire, where religion, money and big business converge and run our country with no dissent allowed. The only thing sane, educated, intelligent people are trying to do is prevent the United States from becoming an authoritarian, fascist dictatorship with an orange haired madman at the helm. We think that Republicans should review history to see what people did to fascist dictators in the past, i.e. Benito Mussolini during World War II. Our question to the GOP is this: do you really want to follow that disastrous path?

The modern day Republican party has apparently forgotten history and inexplicably wants to pursue the same disastrous path as Mussolini and his fascists did during World War II.

The modern day Republican party has apparently forgotten history and inexplicably wants to pursue the same disastrous path as Mussolini and his fascists did during World War II.