Archive for November 25, 2020

Turkey Day Time Out

While America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and rejected, petulant man child Donald Trump continues his post-election temper tantrum and President-elect Joe Biden constructs his cabinet with little help from the Trump administration, we’ve decided to take some time off to catch our breath and regain some sanity and perspective on what the future holds for our country.

Let’s face it, folks: 2020 has sucked. Yes, Joe Biden won the presidency, but coronavirus continues to run amok amongst the human population on planet Earth and the Trump cult is still out there spreading ignorance, hatred and misinformation that is as bad or worse than the virulent pathogen. Let’s all just take a little time off, reset our compasses and maybe take a trip to sci-news.com and appreciate all the wonderful, amazing, spectacular things our universe has to offer, all made understandable by scientific inquiry. We’ll be back real soon.

Gone Fishin' - Be Back Soon!
We’re taking a break America. We’ll be back real soon.

So Much Whining

It’s been two weeks since the 2020 presidential election and ten days since Joe Biden was declared the president-elect and still America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and rejected, petulant man child Donald Trump is throwing a hissy fit like a three year old toddler, proclaiming all the while that he didn’t lose the election and that he will never concede. He has launched several unsuccessful attacks trying to overturn the results in states like Michigan , Georgia and Pennsylvania but to no avail. Trump lost the election, by a ‘landslide’ (in 2016 Trumpianese) and he refuses to deal with it and many Republicans, like Lindsey Graham, are supporting his efforts. What’s more, the Trump administration’s refusal to interact with the Biden transition team is further endangering our democratic institutions and emboldening his insane right wing followers like QAnon, the Proud Boys, and evangelical zealots who act more like demons than their hero, Jesus.

Maybe Trump should take a page out of his 2016 election victory and call on his pal Vlad Putin to interfere, which was confirmed by the Mueller report. But it’s probably too late for those kind of shenanigans. We just heard that Putin only likes Presidents who don’t lose. Tough luck, little Donny! We guess it’s back to your incessant whining and diaper pooping.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and rejected, petulant man child Donald Trump receives a wake-up call from his former BFF Vlad Putin.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and rejected, petulant man child Donald Trump receives a wake-up call from his former BFF Vlad Putin.

A Man For Four Seasons

While America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump whines, cries and swims in the river of denial, his administration and the propaganda flying monkeys at Fox continue to enable the emotional toddler’s fantasy that he actually won the election through non-existent fraud, despite Biden earning more than 5 million more votes and more than likely winning the electoral vote by the same total the orange-haired megalomaniac defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016, 306-232; or as Trump called it in 2016, “a landslide”.

But an event occurred this past week which perfectly encapsulates the incompetence of the Trump administration. Somehow, instead of booking a press conference at Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia, the lame brains booked a gig at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. So, instead of just admitting a mistake and rescheduling – in typical conservative fashion, the Trumpies doubled down on their mistake and held the conference at the landscaping store which is conveniently located in an industrial-commercial area between a crematorium and an adult book store/theater. You can’t write comedy better than this and in fact all the late night comics had a blast mocking the whole insipid affair. And wouldn’t you know, Trump sends head goombah Rudy ‘Captain Colludiani’ Giuliani to give the presser as the rotten cherry on top of the shit sundae. Wow! The ineptitude is breathtakingly stunning! And yet there are seventy million people in America who voted for this kind of stupidity for four more years. Double Wow!

In a move which perfectly demonstrates the incompetence of the Trump administration, chief goombah Rudy Giuliani holds a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, conveniently located between a crematorium and an adult bookstore/theater, which brought about much perturbation from the clientele of the whack shack.
In a move which perfectly demonstrates the incompetence of the Trump administration, chief goombah Rudy Giuliani holds a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, conveniently located between a crematorium and an adult bookstore/theater, which brought about much perturbation from the clientele of the whack shack.

Hey Trump: YOU’RE FIRED!

Well, they finally called the presidential election Saturday for Joe Biden. The states of Pennsylvania and Nevada were called which put Biden over the top with 279 electoral votes. Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina and Alaska are still having votes tabulated but it looks like Biden will impressively pick up red states Arizona and Georgia (which would give Biden 306) while Alaska and North Carolina will go to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump.

We’ll have more commentary about the election later this week, but for now, we’ve got just one thing to say to Donald Trump that most sane, intelligent Americans have been waiting to say to this pathological prevaricator since 2016: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!

Hey, Donald Trump: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!
Hey, Donald Trump: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!

Senator Mark Kelly

While the nation waits with baited breath for the final votes for President of the United States to be tallied, there is one race that became official about which we couldn’t be happier.

Former astronaut and naval pilot, Democrat Mark Kelly defeated incumbent Republican Martha McSally for Senator. This gives Arizona two Democratic Senators now, thus turning the state blue on the national level, (Arizona Democrats already are pretty much guaranteed of keeping five of nine congressional seats). We’ve lived here a long time and we never thought we’d see this event. The last time it happened was 1952.

Congratulations to Mark Kelly! We have no doubt you’ll be as successful in this endeavor as you were as an astronaut, engineer, pilot and author.

Congratulations to engineer, naval pilot, astronaut, author and now Democratic Senator from Arizona, Mark Kelly.
Congratulations to engineer, naval pilot, astronaut, author and now Democratic Senator from Arizona, Mark Kelly.

Cancel The Trump Show

The 2020 elections are on Tuesday, November 3rd and the choice couldn’t be clearer in our opinion. Of course, we thought that four years ago.

The Republicans are openly embracing white nationalism and authoritarian corporate fascism. They are attacking the fundamental principles and laws of our constitution. They have effectively been dismantling our government for the last four years giving enormous tax cuts to the plutocrats in our society, basically giving complete and absolute power to a handful of corporations and the richest of the rich while saddling future generations with debilitating debt. They have openly suggested civil war and locking up opponents if they don’t get their way. They have used deceitful shenanigans to stack the Supreme Court with regressive, religious ideologues who will no doubt take away hard fought freedoms for many segments of the American populace. We need to cancel The Trump Show, America! If you truly believe in a representative democracy, by the people, for the people, there is only one way to vote: vote ‘D’ for Democracy.

Since the Republicans have completely embraced authoritarian corporate fascism, the choice in the 2020 elections is clear: vote 'D' for Democracy.
Since the Republicans have completely embraced authoritarian corporate fascism, the choice in the 2020 elections is clear: vote ‘D’ for Democracy.