Karipatra: Queen Of Denial

If you’re a fan of democracy then the results for the 2022 midterm elections are encouraging. We’ve waited until after the Georgia runoff election, which was fortunately won by Rafael Warnock, to comment because mostly it’s given us time to relax from the non-stop electioneering and also to see how the Republicans would react to the results. But the Democrats managed to not only keep control of the Senate but expand its influence with a 51-49 majority. The Republicans control the House but by only a few seats. The red wave that the main stream corporate media bloviated about before the election never materialized much to the embarrassment of the propagandists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. It looks like Kevin McCarthy will have his hands full trying to control the House and most pundits are doubting the GOP will do anything except investigate the nothing burger that is Hunter Biden’s laptop.

More importantly, many Trump humping, election denier candidates across the country got beat including the Big Three here in Arizona, Blake Masters, Mark Finchem and Kari Lake. Generally speaking, Democrats performed pretty well here in AZ. One notable exception is the U.S. House of Representatives. Arizona had five democratic Congressional representatives in the 2020 election but thanks to redrawn districts from the census favoring Republicans, the GOP now has six seats compared to three for Democrats. There were some very tight races which have gone into recount, but overall, the Dems held the line. Democracy has been saved . . . for now.

Of course, Ms. Lake, in true Trumpian fashion, has refused to concede and has commenced to whining, promising law suits of election fraud. We’re so sick of this former newsreader. She should just move into Mar-a-lago so she can be with her crush 24/7. We’re sure Melania won’t mind. We saw a funny meme online about the loony Ms. Lake and decided to duplicate it using our own graphics. From now on, Kari Lake will be known as Karipatra, the Queen of Denial.

In true Trumpian fashion, Arizona's failed governor candidate Kari Lake has claimed election fraud and has transformed herself into Karipatra - the Queen of Denial.
In true Trumpian fashion, Arizona’s failed governor candidate Kari Lake has claimed election fraud and has transformed herself into Karipatra – the Queen of Denial.

Trumper Tantrum

We’ve been really, really, really enjoying our time off from commentary on current events, but it’s probably time to get back in the swing of things. So . . . anything interesting happen since election day?

Oh, yeah. Trump’s attempted coup. Yikes!!! We just might take a permanent leave of absence. Just when you thought sanity has made a comeback, Trump and his band of detestable enablers in the House and Senate have created yet another constitutional crisis. Despite having absolutely zero evidence of voter fraud and despite numerous lawsuits being thrown out, the GOP crybabies continue to whine that the election was stolen and that the Republicans will never accept Joe Biden as President. How old are these people? Because they’re supposed to be adults but yet, like their leader, the orange-haired man child, they throw tantrums every time they don’t get their way.

But this is nothing new for Republicans. Just take a gander at our category GOP Crybabies. They’ve been whining and crying since . . . forever. If they don’t get their way, there will be hell to pay as evidence by the storming of the Capitol building today by unhinged Trump supporters, a.k.a. right-wing terrorists. We sure noticed the difference in treatment of protesters. When BLM or liberal protest groups protested over the past four years, you’d would have thought that war had broken out the way armed forces were formidably stationed themselves against protesters. Not so today. The Trump-loving troglodytes were practically escorted by ‘law enforcement’ into the building to wreak havoc. What a load of bullshit!!!

So, in short: FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN REPUBLICAN CRYBABIES!!!

Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies throw their hissy fits and temper tantrums, all in an effort to overthrow the results of a democratic election to make their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, President-for-life,
Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies throw their hissy fits and temper tantrums, all in an effort to overthrow the results of a democratic election to make their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, President-for-life,

Iowa Caucus: There’s Not An App For That

The election primary season is kicking off and the Democratic needed a solid beginning to send a strong message to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump that his days as ‘dear Leader’ of this country are numbered. But instead of serving up a caucus the Iowa Democrats served up a caucusf*ck. Apparently, an app the administrators had a “reporting issue” and wasn’t functioning properly and brought the integrity of the results into question. It’s the weekend but the precise results are still in doubt with Pete Buttigieg and Bernie Sanders both claiming victories. Talk about serving up red meat to Trump. You just know that the orange haired megalomaniac and his flying monkey sycophants at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, will continually point to the incompetence displayed during the caucus as proof that Democrats will do anything to ‘rig an election’ and cannot be trusted. And all this after a superb performance by House Democrats, led by Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler, in proving the guilt of Trump in his impeachment trial.

At least the Iowa fiasco is pushing forth a movement that just might get rid of the troublesome caucus forever and install a primary system in its stead just like almost every other state. There are several annoying anomalies on the Democratic primary side (superdelegates, anyone), and if the Dems finally decide to move into the 21st century and kill off the caucus and superdelegates, then that would probably increase their chances in future elections. Plus, there’s no way Iowa should be the first voting event of the presidential elections season since its demographics are so homogeneous. Here’s hoping at least that the Democrats learn something from this debacle.

America's CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.
America’s CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.

The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine

The impeachment inquiry rolls on and more disturbing evidence is surfacing about America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s shakedown on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for information about Democratic rival and former Obama administration Vice President Joe Biden. Damning testimonies like those of William B. Taylor portray our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House as some kind of mafioso wise guy trying to put the screws to Zelensky whose country needs help from western NATO nations but is also being squeezed from the east by Putin’s Russia.

The whole operation sounds fubarred from the very beginning. Supposedly, Trump’s carny barker and chief of staff Mick Mulvaney brought in the Donald’s three amigos, or in this case, the three stooges to coordinate the action. Slick Mick thought that Kurt Volker, Gordon Sondland and Rick Perry could convince various people in the Ukraine to arrange a deal for information on Joe Biden’s son Hunter’s business dealings which might help Trump in the 2020 election. Volker and Sondland have both testified before the House with Sondland stating that there was some kind of quid pro quo involved.

The really funny thing about this is that Rudy ‘Captain Colludiani’ Giuliani became involved with his now arrested henchman Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, who look like they came directly from central casting, and allegedly used them to try and dig up dirt on Biden, thus fubarring the operation even more. Add Mick Mulvaney’s confession of a quid pro quo agreement and impeachment is looking now like a done deal even without the ten cases of obstruction laid out by the Mueller report. (Helpful reminder and hint: the Mueller report wasn’t a witch hunt because it produced 37 indictments. We repeat 37 INDICTMENTS!!! Please, corporate media – mention this FACT next time poor, little victim Trump cries that he is being persecuted or lynched!)

Which is why Trump desperately tried a little tail wagging the dog action this past weekend by announcing that terrorist ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi  was killed by special op forces. This is a good thing and we should be able to pat Trump on the back. . . but he made it impossible to do even that. In true Trumpian fashion, he made the operation all about him. He bragged about the killing and morbidly regaled the press with how al-Baghdadi cried and died like a dog. Many people have even compared Obama’s address when Osama bin Laden was killed to Trump’s and well. . . there’s no comparison: Obama is the adult and Trump is the arrogant, spoiled little child looking for attention. Trump even got royally booed at game 5 of the Astros-Nationals World Series as the crowd broke into chants of “Lock him up!” Oh, the irony! So Trump’s little distraction action failed miserably and it looks like Nancy Pelosi is bringing forth a vote to formalize the impeachment inquiries.

But at least we can enjoy Donald Trump’s latest film about all the hilarious hijinx that happened (or didn’t happen) The Three Stooges: Slinging in Ukraine, featuring, of course, the very best people: Kurt Volker as Larry, Gordon Sondland as Curly, Rick Perry as Moe and Rudy Giuliani as Captain Colludiani, rated I for Impeachable.

The Three Stooges - Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.
The Three Stooges – Slinging in Ukraine: American CEO/Dictator and master dealer Donald Trump needs some mud for slinging at his chief political rival Joe Biden. But because of stupid democratic laws in America he needs to put the squeeze on foreign governments like Ukraine. So he sends his best stooges to dig up some dirt. Hilarity ensues when Rudy Giuliani appears as Captain Colludiani and fubars the whole secret quid pro quo operation. Rated I for Impeachable.

Trump’s Impeachment Stonewall

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has finally built his wall. But it’s not the one his supporters expected on the southern border. This wall is the stonewall that the orange-haired man child has constructed around the White House to protect him from the impeachment inquiry currently being conducted by the Democrat-led House of Representatives.

The investigation is ratcheting up and more and more crimes committed by the Trump administration are coming to light. For instance, the testimony by acting ambassador William B. Taylor Jr. clarifies that there definitely was a quid pro quo with Ukraine for aid contingent on finding dirt on Joe Biden. The House has subpoenaed several members of the Trump administration but many like Mike Pompeo and Rudy Giuliani have ignored them. The official stance of the Trump White House is that it will not comply with any of the impeachment proceedings as Trump perceives it as a ‘witch hunt’, which is what he calls any kind of investigation into his laundry list of dubious actions, lies and fabrications. This obvious stonewalling is obvious obstruction, which is against the law and an impeachable offense. But that doesn’t matter with Trump. In his weak, feeble, authoritarian mind, he is above the law and can do no wrong. Only he can fire people, not vice-versa. His tenure as president is nothing more than a reality show for him and a nightmare for every sane person in America and the free, democratic world.

So what are the Democrats going to do with all these refusals of subpoenas? Should they arrest people who don’t honor them? What good is the impeachment inquiry if they’re not going to apply the law and the Republicans do whatever they want with no repercussions? The Republicans are still betting on Trump’s authoritarian thuggery to carry the party forward (or backward, if you like reality). They’ve even ‘stormed’ the hearings in an attempt to ‘demand transparency’ when in reality it’s just to try and portray themselves as victims of the mean ol’ Democrat heathens who are out to get the saintly Trump. They seem to have forgotten that when they conducted impeachment proceedings against Clinton in the ’90’s, the hearings were closed as well. But like the LA Times says, “It’s so much easier for Trump’s supporters on Capitol Hill to bleat about the process of the inquiry than it is to deny Taylor’s account or defend the quid pro quo”. The conservative GOP will never admit they’re wrong, so they’re willing to destroy their own party rather than admit the President is a crook and move on to their next leader, whoever that may be. They’re even attacking Spiff Romney, who had the audacity to speak out against Trump. For the Republicans, it’s party over country and they have every intention to authoritatively shove their ideology down everyone’s throats.

We know one thing: Trump’s stonewalling is further threatening democracy and the rule of law. The Democrats must start holding Republicans accountable now! If that means locking them up to obey subpoenas then that’s what they should do! For Pete’s sake, the Republicans ran on a platform of honoring law and order and yet they thwart regulations, checks and balances and rule of law every chance they get. If the Republicans don’t start playing by the rules and the Democrats don’t start enforcing the law, then chaos will reign in this country and we’ll be nothing more than a nation straight out of a comic book with a Joker as the President.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he's erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike 'Puritan' Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he’s erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike ‘Puritan’ Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.

Handy Dandy Redaction Guide

The redacted version of the Mueller report has been released and boy is it a doozy. While Attorney General and Republican obfuscator Bill Barr has erroneously touted that the report ‘clears’ American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump of collusion and obstruction, just reading the unredacted portions paints a decisively different picture of what happened. And if the redacted report paints a damning picture of Trump can you imagine what the complete report says?

According to this article at Vox, 7.25% of the report has been redacted. After downloading and scanning through the report, we’ve come up with a handy dandy redaction guide to try and translate what the most common redaction phrase ‘Harm to Ongoing Matter'(HOM) means to the average American. The acronym appears repeatedly throughout the document, especially in Volume I dealing with the Russian conspiracy to sway the 2016 election toward Donald Trump and from what we can gather it translates to ‘Donald Trump is guilty as hell.” Why else was his initial reaction to the appointment of the special consul, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m f*cked.” Would an innocent man say that?

In Volume II of the report, Robert Mueller cited ten cases where obstruction of justice could be applied to Trump. Why did he not just come out and say he obstructed justice? According to the Department of Justice, you can’t indict a sitting president. So basically, Mueller set up the pins on a narrow lane and gave the Democrats a bowling ball the size of a beach ball so they could mow down our corrupt, megalomaniac leader. But, in true Democratic fashion, Democrat leaders are already talking about not pursuing impeachment and concentrating on the 2020 election. You know the Republicans wouldn’t hesitate to impeach if the situation was reversed. They did so with Bill Clinton twenty years ago on much lesser charges.

So lets briefly review the low-lights of the Republican party in the last 50 years: Nixon knows about the Watergate break-ins and attempts to cover them up, Gerald Ford pardons him; the Reagan administration sold arms for hostages in the Iran-Contra affair, G.H.W. Bush and Bill Barr issue pardons for those involved; Dubya and Dick Cheney knowingly deceive America about false WMDs in Iraq prompting an invasion which cost millions of lives, trillions of dollars and destabilizes the whole region and Democrats do nothing. Donald Trump obstructs justice and continuously pisses on the rule of law and Democrats are seriously considering doing nothing…again. In short: Republicans repeatedly screw the country and repeatedly get away with it. Is it any wonder this country is so botched up and people have no faith in our democratic institutions any more.

Hopefully the Democrats will grow a spine, put justice first and impeach this lying, manipulative, con artist before he does further damage to the White House, the rule of law and the prestige of the United States. But then again, the Democrats have an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

According to the handy dandy guide for reading the redactions of the Mueller report, the phrase 'Harm to Ongoing Matter' translates to 'Proof that Donald Trump is Guilty as Hell'.
According to the handy dandy guide for reading the redactions of the Mueller report, the phrase ‘Harm to Ongoing Matter’ translates to ‘Proof that Donald Trump is Guilty as Hell’.

The New Flake In Town

The new members of the Senate and House have been sworn in and with it an old familiar face is back on the American scene. Utah’s ‘new’ Senator replacing useless, senile fossil, Orrin Hatch, is none other than Spiff Romney, 2012 GOP presidential candidate and used car salesman extraordinaire. The Spiffster dominated our Conathon 2012 coverage with his gleaming white Pepsodent smile and promises to serve the people, and by people we of course mean corporations.

Romney appears to be taking up the mantle of his departed fellow Mormon, Arizona’s own Jeff Flake, in that he immediately wrote a ‘scathing’ article critical of Donald Trump. Really???!!! Even Trump saw through that one, calling Spiff the new Flake in one of his temper tantrum tweets. It didn’t take long for Romney to show what a feckless adversary he would be by remaining mum on of the current border wall bullshit.

As if on cue, the corporate media announced that Romney and Nebraska’s Ben ‘Sassy Boy’ Sasse are the GOP’s new ‘mavericks’.  Really???!!! And people still think the corporate media is liberal in bias? Only conservative entities would brand these two stick in the muds as ‘mavericks’. So we’re wagering that in the next two years both Romney and Sasse will be promoted as ‘sane’ alternatives when the S.S. Trump eventually sinks and corporations are looking for new lackeys to promote the Republican, plutocrat and corporate media mantra of ‘tax cuts for the rich, screw all others’. Ahhhh! The capitalism con game continues!

Former GOP candidate and new feckless Senator, Spiff Romney, proclaims himself to be the new Jeff Flake who will bloviate against and then boldly cave in to every demand of America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.
Former GOP candidate and new feckless Senator, Spiff Romney, proclaims himself to be the new Jeff Flake who will bloviate against and then boldly cave in to every demand of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Oval Office Follies

The big story this week was the Oval Office budget meeting between America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence and Democratic House and Senate leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We’ve had our doubts about both Pelosi and Schumer because they’re both corporatists who do their fair share of cozying up to moneyed interests and they’ve shown in the past a willingness to cave in a little too quickly to Republican demands (like many other Democrats have done in the past twenty years, i.e. the Iraq War, Patriot Act, etc…).

But we’ve got to admit that we like what we saw from Pelosi and Schumer. They made Trump look like a buffoon by getting him to take ownership of any looming government shutdown on video for the whole country to see. Meanwhile, Mike Pence sat like a bump on a log in his chair, doing absolutely zilch, zippo, nada, bupkis, diddly-squat. We love all the Pence memes that are making the rounds this past week. We like that comment that he looked like he was at a strip club. Yes, America… if Trump is impeached, then we’ll be in the stoic, ultra-conservative hands of Puritan Pence, which gives no sane person in America a warm fuzzy.

In a recent Oval Office budget meeting with Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence tries to keep his thoughts pure while America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump tries to keep his thoughts empty.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence use impressive conservative skills to outmaneuver Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi in a recent Oval Office budget meeting.