With all the drama of the impeachment unfolding on a day to day basis, the Democratic presidential primaries have been pushed to the back burner. Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren continue to be the front runners, with Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Michael Bloomberg, Andrew Yang and Amy Klobuchar still hanging on with the Iowa caucuses just a week away.
So, really . . . what is Ms. Gabbard’s deal? What’s her motivation? What the hell is she up to? We here at the Bucket think it’s something more egotistical. We think that the enigma that is Ms. Gabbard sees that the stairwell to the Democratic nomination is blocked and will be for many years to come with every Democrat currently still running polling well ahead of her. Like Reagan and Trump, (both former Democrats), the possibility exists that she could get the Republican nomination if she switches parties. Her vote against Trump’s impeachment certainly endeared her to Trump’s nutbag supporters and her approval is very strong from conservative males (gee, go figure that! . . . see the saga of Sarah Palin). Plus, she’s from a heavily Democratic state. Look at all the fawning Democrats do over moderate Republicans from heavily Republican states who side (or appear to side) with Dems (the late John McCain, Susan Collins, Spiff Romney) and you’ll get it. You have to have a gynormous ego to run for president, and Ms. Gabbard certainly is developing a colossal one. Since she has absolutely no chance to win the Democratic nomination in 2020, here’s our bold and fearless, purely comedic conjecture prediction for Ms. Gabbard: she runs for President as a Republican in 2024. Remember: we predicted a Ralph Nader landslide in the 2004 election so . . . yeah . . . we’re . . . probably . . . wrong.
The fallout form Arizona’s election fiasco on March 22nd is still unfolding. Maricopa County Recorder, Helen Purcell, was widely and deservedly vilified for her initial response, where she actually blamed the voters. Purcell backtracked a few days later and took full responsibility, but the damage was done. Purcell, explained that the number of polling places was cut from 200 to 60(almost 70% reduction… let us repeat that…70 FRIGGING PERCENT REDUCTION!!!) in order to save money. But the truth is that conservative Republicans have a stranglehold on this state and since they’ve gerrymandered the state legislature districts so drastically, there is virtually no way to get them out of power. They’ve clearly passed legislation and cut election funding in order to suppress voters. The office of Maricopa County Recorder is supposed to be a non-partisan position but Ms. Purcell is a staunch Republican and she has been in office since 1988. In several years, she’s run unopposed which has led to the same complacency and smug demagoguery that Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio possesses. Let’s just say she’s a good soldier for Republican causes.
Getting back to Ms. Purcell…we do think that she should get on the back of Sheriff Joe’s horse and ride off into the sunset. We’d expect this kind of voting rights violation in a banana republic. But this latest debacle is inexcusable in America and especially in our home state of Arizona. Ms. Purcell needs to resign!
Arizona Maricopa County Recorder, Helen Purcell, proclaims that democracy is expensive and voters need to quit whining, much to the delight of plutocrats everywhere.
GOP presidential candidate and neo-Neanderthal , Rick “Google Me” Santorum, showed off his diplomatic skills Wednesday while campaigning in Puerto Rico, when he said that for Puerto Rico to become a state, they would have to embrace English as the primary language. Puerto Rico currently is a bilingual U.S. commonwealth and is voting in November on whether or not to pursue statehood. Spanish is also the primary language in the country because of it’s strong Spanish heritage and history. Of course, Santorum’s view is consistent with conservative Republican’s world view that everyone should speak English and Americans should only have to speak English everywhere they go, despite the fact that the majority of people in the Western Hemisphere speak Spanish. His viewpoint reminds us of when Archie Bunker tried to speak Spanish on an episode of that classic 70’s sitcom, All in the Family. Pues, creemos que Santorum es un pendejo grande!
GOP candidate Rick 'Google Me' Santorum impresses the bilingual crowds in Puerto Rico with his command of the Spanish language.
It’s pretty obvious by the anemic turnout for the primaries and caucuses in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012, that there are many Republicans who aren’t too thrilled with the four candidates that have survived thus far: Spiff Romney, Rick “Google Me” Santorum, Uncle Newtie Gingrich and that gruff ol’ Prospector Ron “I’m agin’ everything” Paul. Polls also indicate that President Obama would have an easy time beating any of these candidates. There are many articles on the mainstream media sites speaking of a brokered convention and a new ‘white knight’ candidate to ride in and rescue the party from ignominious defeat in November. Well we’ve discovered that a new candidate, who reflects the values of the most extreme conservative Republicans (who just so happen to have a stranglehold on the party), has stepped forward to change the fortunes of the GOP. Finally the ‘white knight’ has arrived!
A ‘White Knight’ candidate has emerged for the Republicans who embodies everything that the extreme right wing conservatives hold dear.
The shocking results from New Hampshire are in: a rich, white guy won the GOP primary. In this particular case, it was former Massachusetts governor, Spiff “I’m for everything” Romney winning and crusty ol’ prospector Ron “I’m agin’ everything” Paul coming in second. John “I’ve got three hot daughters” Huntsman finished a surprising third.
It’ll be interesting to see if Huntsman will become the next flavor of the month in this joke that is…drum roll please… Con-a-thon 2012. But for right now, Spiff Romney and his magic underwear are riding high. Will his momentum continue onto the next primary in South Carolina or will Uncle Newtie Gingrich’s ‘Anti-Romney’ campaign bring the Spiffster down? The suspense is just riveting isn’t it folks. How many more months of this crap do we have left?
GOP candidate and corporate hatchetman, Spiff Romney, won the New Hampshire primary handily with chameleon like tactics that will surely please everyone, especially corporate 'people' with deep pockets.