religious – BilgeBucket Gazette

Jan 6th: Traitor’s Day

January 6th marks the three year anniversary of the Capitol riots, Treason Day, Insurrection Day or Traitor’s Day – all names are fitting. It’s been three years since that infamous day and not one of the instigators like Paul Gosar, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Marjorie Taylor Greene have been held accountable and are still roaming free. And the biggest offender, TFG, is the leading candidate for the Republican nomination for President, which will undoubtedly turn into the office of President-for-Life, if he somehow gets re-elected this year. Sure, many of the rioters have been sentenced, but many have been given light sentences given the gravity of their offense – trying to overthrow the government!

We’re reposting our Insurrection photo-toon from our previous posts because it pretty much says it all. But like we’ve said before, this was an attempted coup to overthrow a legitimate election with almost zero voter fraud, no matter how much the Republicans claim there was! This was a dress rehearsal. If we don’t punish those responsible, the next time . . . and there will be next time, the rioters will be successful and America will cease to be a democracy!

Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.

Rewind: GOP – The Party Of Moral Values?

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The whole purpose of our 20th anniversary retrospective is to show that the Republicans haven’t just shifted to the right with TFG. They’ve been trying to make America a christian theocracy ruled by corporate America since the Bush administration. The leaders of the GOP want people to be mindless sheeple who blindly obey their leaders, work without complaint no matter what the hours, and consume corporate America’s products like automatons until they drop dead, broke and drowning in debt. So bible thumper creationist Mike Johnson coming to the fore should not be a surprise. It’s business as usual for the Republican syndicate. But it’s business as usual for Democrats as well as they’re doing now what they did in 2006; standing by and watching the Republicans self-destruct and hoping that the electorate will notice.

This article is from our July 7, 2006 edition.

House GOP Ready To Shove Values Agenda Down America’s Throat

Republican members of the House of Representatives recently released a series of bills it is calling ‘The American Values Agenda’ in hopes of energizing it’s conservative base for the fall 2006 elections. Already the first item, protecting the word ‘under God’ in the pledge of allegiance, has already gone down to defeat.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert commented on the initiative. “We feel that this is a necessity as a signal to our conservative base that we’re ready to ram the ideology of a minority of wealthy, religious individuals down the throats of the rest of America. And since this minority has a lot of bucks, we’re going to basically push these items through and character assassinate anyone who stands in our way.”

Among the gritty, pressing issues tackled by House Republicans; a vital flag-burning amendment, a crucial anti-gay marriage amendment, and an urgent cracking down on Internet gambling. Other serious topics to be considered include: protecting insurance companies from frivolous claims from greedy hurricane victims; protecting frozen embryos from evil stem cell researchers; abolishing the completely unfair estate tax which affects a whopping one percent of the population; making sure that every citizen can own and properly use an AK-47; making sure the Arctic Wildlife Refuge is drilled for that precious nine month supply of oil; and making sure that the United States of America becomes a full fledged Christian theocracy.

Democratic congresswoman from California Nancy Pelosi said that this is nothing but pandering by House Republicans. “They are taking radical right wing values and touting them as America’s values. This is nothing more than their age old tactic of distract, distort and divide. Meanwhile, the Democrats have a clear message to the American people and that is . . .we’re just going to stand by and watch Republicans self destruct.”

Vice President Dick Cheney said, “All have to say is that if you don’t support these issues, then you’re not much of an American. I mean if you voted to take the words ‘under God’ out of the pledge of allegiance, you probably watch Al-Jezeera and root for Al-Qaeda. You probably even cried when Al-Zarqawi died.” When it was pointed out that the words ‘under God’ were added to the pledge in 1954, Cheney shook his head vigorously and responded, “See! This is just another example of the biased liberal media spreading misinformation to the good sheeple . . . I mean, people of America. Where’s my shotgun?”

People expressed mixed views about the series of bills. Joe Nelson of Brighton, Massachusetts, said, “I don’t think these bills really help anyone. We’ve got huge problems in Iraq, our deficit is skyrocketing, affordable healthcare is a joke and people in New Orleans still need assistance. I think we need to solve these problems first, although I agree that we should stop Internet gambling. You should only be able to blow your money at a regular casino like normal people.”

Gladys Clary of Dennison, Iowa said, “We need to reduce our dependency on foreign oil and the only way to do that is to drill the hell out of all the available land and coastlines that we have. I don’t care about the Earth’s future. I’m old and my hummer needs gas now!”

Tom Miles of Fetid Gulch, Texas, said, “If we don’t pass these bills now, illegal immigrants will pour over our borders, burn our flags, marry farm animals and use stem cells to cure Alzheimers.”

Rewind: R U Rapture Ready?

The recent turmoil in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestinians have the got the conservative evangelical christians thumping their bibles salivating for the end times and the rapture when all good christians will be slurped up to heaven (which is presumably somewhere in Earth’s atmosphere although no satellite photos have shown its precise whereabouts).

Of course, anytime anything goes wrong in the Middle East (which is pretty much every day) the christians scream about the end times and how Jesus is coming again. Back in July and August of 2006, the Lebanon War between Hezbollah and Israel had evangelicals sounding the alarm. But alas, the end of the world didn’t happen and nobody was raptured. The fact that at that time, legitimate news organizations like CNN would actually mention the rapture should make logical, intelligent and reasonable citizens very weary of any news organization that would promote such ridiculous bunk as the rapture. It’s kind of like entertainment shows that still feature astrologers and horoscopes. But then again, America elected Trump in 2016. Stupid is as stupid does.

This photo-toon is from our August 11, 2006 issue.

The escalation of hostilities in the Middle East has launched an obsession of talk about the Apocalypse, the end of the world and the Rapture on supposedly responsible news networks like CNN.

Rewind: Ashcroft’s Great Cover Up

After George W. Bush somehow won re-election in 2004, his Attorney General, bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft, decided to call it quits. As he left the Bush administration, we pondered in our November 21, 2004 issue over his greatest accomplishment (or embarrassment). This man is the only man to lose an election to a dead man in the Senate. Ashcroft championed the Patriot Act and warrantless wiretapping. But his prudishness was unbelievable. Ashcroft was just as uptight as ol’ Puritan Pants Mike Pence. Ashcroft spent eight thousand dollars to shield the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice because it showed a boob and he didn’t want to be pictured in front of such a display. American Taliban, indeed! We have no doubt that Ashcroft probably bathes in his long johns so as not to offend himself. What a priggish tool!

John Ashcroft's greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice. — John Ashcroft’s greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice.

GOP: Iron Fist Fascism Rule

We’ve noted with alarm over the last twenty years the Republican party’s slide to authoritarian fascism and yes it started during the Bush administration. Remember after 9/11, Press Secretary Ari Fleischer spewed forth these chilling words that all Americans need to “watch what they say, watch what they do”, forgetting about free speech and stepping toward a big brother-esque society. The the Patriot Act was passed as if to provide an exclamation point. Of course, the crowning point of the Dubya and Dick Cheney’s presidency was the clusterf*ck quagmire in Iraq which was shoved down American’s throat with gusto by the corporate media costing us trillions of dollars over the long haul. So yeah — the Republicans have been at this kind of iron-fisted power grab for some time now.

This coming election is startling and the most dangerous of the 21st century. There are 299 out of 569 Republicans running for office who are fully on board with the Big Lie pushed by the twice impeached, classified document stealer TFG. Many of these people are guaranteed to win because of the districts, counties and states where they live. If this happens, then democracy is doomed in these places because these fascists will never allow a non-conservative, non-Republican to ever win an election again. Period. This is why we’ve highlighted the important races of Senator, Governor and Secretary of State here in Arizona, our home state. These QAnon loving loons are drunk with the Trump Kool-Aid and will no doubt push their agenda with an iron fist backed by TFG and his MAGA Moron militias, not to mention his enablers in Congress.

Republicans don't want to govern, they want to rule with an iron fist. — Republicans don’t want to govern, they want to rule with an iron fist.

Blake Masters’ Race

A few posts ago we commented on the newsreader who wants to be guvnah in Arizona, the woefully unqualified Trump acolyte Kari Lake. In this post, we’ll discuss the AZ GOP’s candidate for Senator, another Trump Humper named Blake Masters.

Masters is a young venture capitalist who wants to privatize everything like a good, conservative, christian capitalist. His mentor is billionaire venture capitalist Peter Thiel who’s about as right wing as they come. Masters is completely drunk on the election fraud nonsense and has stated that abortion should be banned nationally. He wants to eliminate critical race theory from being taught and blames gun violence on black people. He’s openly suggested that maybe social security should be privatized; not a wise move in a state filled with retired senior citizens. He’s anti-LGBTQ despite his buddy Thiel being a married gay man. We’d say without hesitation that Masters is a right wing, authoritarian, white nationalist fascist. He checks all the boxes and what’s more he’s very proud of it.

We’ve mentioned before about America becoming a corporate theocracy; a Holy Corporate Empire, if you will – and Blake Masters is one hundred percent on board with this kind of transformation. Corporations are authoritarian environments. Corporations are like little dictatorships. The corporation has a CEO and small board of advisers who make all the decisions for the company. If you don’t like the decision, you’re fired. Churches are authoritarian environments. The church has its leader who claims infallibility because he or she talks to God. If you don’t like what the leader has proclaimed, you are evil and one with the devil. Both institutions have very fascist tendencies – do what the leaders say or else. It’s no surprise that the Republican party is filled with these corporatist and religious zealots. They’ve been pushing since the Reagan administration to try and make the government like a corporation. The evangelicals have pretty much taken over the Republican party with their embrace of TFG and planting right wing zealots on the Supreme Court to overturn abortion. We have no doubt if given the chance, Masters would do everything possible to join church and state and corporate America together into a modern day feudal society because . . . you know . . . the Middle Ages were so enlightening and full of freedom for everyone. That’s right, you work during the day, go to church on Sunday and don’t ask questions like good little sheeple until the day you drop dead. Maybe, just maybe, our autocrat overlords will throw a pittance your way as a reward for allowing them to buy yet another car, boat or luxury property. Ahhhh! Unregulated capitalism!

Fortunately, at least for Arizona, he’s running against centrist Democrat Mark Kelly who’s about as likable as they come. Independents love him and moderate Republicans do, too. And what’s not to like; he’s an ex-Navy pilot, an engineer and he’s an ex-astronaut. Not only that, he’s done an impressive job in his two years as Senator helping get many legislative packages through Congress. And he’s voted with Republicans enough so that he’s not viewed as completely partisan.

Masters is behind in the polls and he’s desperately trying to backtrack on his abortion , election fraud and social security comments. With the DOJ’s case against TFG becoming more evident, it looks like his attraction to the crooked and traitorous Trump could sink him like a stone. Of course, there are a lot of MAGA morons here in Arizona which could make the race closer than it should be. Hopefully, there are enough competent election officials with ethics and morals who will make sure that radical right wing Republicans don’t try some kind of Trumpf*ckery to get MAGA candidates elected.

Arizona GOP Senate candidate Blake Masters states America should be a corporate theocracy, a.k.a. a Holy Corporate Empire, so that we can all make money for our capitalist masters until the day we drop dead.

SCOTUS 2022: American Taliban

The actions of the five and a half christian nationalists on the Supreme Court have shocked and disturbed not just democratic minded people in this country, but all over the world. Their recent rulings on abortion, prayer in public schools and restrictions on environmental regulations are regressing American culture back to the 19th century. In the abortion decision, Samuel Alito even cited precedence from a 17th century misogynistic jurist who believed that women were witches and property. The sanctimonious justices have also indicated that they may possibly turn back other things like LGBTQ rights, interracial marriage, birth control and even having fair and democratic elections. These authoritarian zealots want to turn America into a christian theocracy.

We’ve already seen how repressive islamic theocracies are. Take the Taliban in Afghanistan. Women are treated like they were in ancient times; like second class citizens. Basic human rights are pretty much limited to straight islamic men. The clerics run the country with an iron fist. Do we really want to turn our nation into a christian version of Afghanistan? Do we really want the American Taliban on the Supreme Court to dictate every aspect of our private lives? We thought the right wing wanted government out of our lives? Recent polls have indicated that Americans have little confidence in the current Supreme Court after their latest decisions.

Let’s face it, folks – the right wing justices are clowns. The Roberts court is a complete and total joke. Brett Kavanaugh will forever be remembered for his bold proclamation of liking beer, his unhinged rant against Clinton and the Democrats and his tearful, whiney defense of his dubious actions with Christine Blasey-Ford. The handmaiden justice Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation was jammed through despite it being an election year. Neil Gorsuch’s mother wreaked havoc on the EPA and now it’s his turn. Kavanaugh and Gorsuch committed perjury during their confirmation hearings when they stated that Roe was settled precedent. Clarence Thomas should be dismissed from the bench for his obstruction in the investigation of the Jan. 6th hearings. Why’s that? Because his wife Ginni was involved in trying to overthrow the election. And Samuel Alito should be disbarred for even thinking about quoting a 17th century jurist who believed in witches. And what’s a common thread amongst these jokers beside their holier-than-thou christianity? They’re all anti-science. They’re all skeptical of climate change, green energy, vaccines, gender science and evolution because it counters their close-minded, archaic views of the world.

The Supreme Court should not be political, but if these christian nationalists persist then the constitution much be changed so that the justices should be elected by popular vote. Therefore they should not have life time appointments – maybe just a six year term like Senators. The Democrats need to step up to the plate and check these zealot’s power while they still have some power. Maybe they need to channel their inner FDR and stack the court. The freedom loving American people will not accept an American version of the Taliban ruling over every aspect of their personal lives. We don’t want America to be a Holy Corporate Empire. This is the 21st century. Like we’ve said before many times, Americans need to connect to a 21st century database, not a 1st century database.

With their recent repressive and regressive decisions concerning abortion, guns, prayer and the environment, the justices of the Roberts court have established themselves as the American Taliban and a complete joke.

The New Texas Elementary School/Prison

The radical right wing conservative christian Republicans are in full crazy mode and they are showing it all over the place. The heavily christian Supreme Court ruled to take away abortion rights for women last week. This week they said prayer in a public school is a-okay and the football coach at a public high school who led his team in a prayer on the field was wrongfully fired. We wonder if this christian nationalist zealots would feel the same way if the coach was Muslim or Hindu or Jewish.

But the state of Texas is leading the way in crazy. Recently, not only did they support the Big Lie that Joe Biden didn’t win the election but they also passed resolution in their state legislature that paves the way for Texas to secede from the United States. We mentioned before how we would love to see that happen; a Texit if you will. We’d help them pack. Amongst the other crazy things they mentioned in the official Republican platform were: labeling homosexuality as an abnormal lifestyle; make it easier to get a gun; restrict voting rights; ignore and accelerate climate change; ban all abortions from the moment of fertilization (super crazy); preserve confederate monuments and repealing hate crime laws because … you know … the Republican hate everything and everybody, which isn’t very christian.

Texas’ senators John Cornyn and Ted Cruz are also showing their true nature as assholes. Cornyn recently sent a completely uncompassionate tweet about overturning Brown v. Board of Education which paved the way for desegregation. And of course, Ted Cruz, the Senator everybody hates, said after the Uvalde school shooting that what we really need is to have just one entrance and exit to a school. It’s not the guns – it’s the doors! Wow! What an idiot!!! Not only would that be a fire hazard, but it turns our educational system into a prison system. But we’re guessing the heartless GOP would be fine with that. Just send the little urchins to school but be sure to protect the things of real value; their precious guns. Oh and fetuses, too. Once the fetus is born, screw it. All we have to say to Texas is: Please secede! And take Oklahoma, Arkansas and the other ass backward southern states with you. We promise we won’t fight a war to keep you with us this time. Goodbye and good riddance, you stupid sanctimonious, holier-than-thou assholes!

The future inmates of Texas' educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans. — The future inmates of Texas’ educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.

The Ignominious MTHead

The up and coming Republicans in the House of Representative are notorious for one reason – they’re all colossally stupid. Take Matt Gaetz … please. Much like his mentor TFG, Gaetz makes ten inane comments each day before breakfast. Then there is Colorado’s answer to Sarah Palin, Lauren Boobert (misspelling intended). She thinks she’s actually in the same class as AOC, but her comments and actions say otherwise. But the biggest ass on the GOP’s team has to Marjorie Taylor Greene, a.k.a. MTG or as she should be called MTHead. This living relic of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons mating has collected an astonishing collection of insipid statements in just less than two years of serving as a representative for Georgia’s 14th district which covers the northwest corner of the state.

Just how dumb is this woman? Here’s just a partial summary of her stupidity. MTHead stated that the 2018 California wildfires was started by Jewish space lasers. MTHead stated that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi uses her gazpacho (instead of Gestapo) police in order to spy on House members. MTHead was stripped of committee assignments because she spread QAnon conspiracy theories and incited violence against Democrats. MTHead has repeatedly called coronavirus a hoax and proudly spread anti-vaccine disinformation which won her a ban from Twitter. MTHead has been at the forefront of supporting TFG’s big lie about non-existent election fraud. MTHead has openly supported Russia’s dictator Vlad Putin in his illegal war against Ukraine. MTHead is famously pro-gun and anti-abortion. Her latest of countless gaffes is her conspiracy about Bill Gates forcing us to eat burgers made in peach tree dishes (instead of petri dishes). Holy Freaking Zeus, folks!!! This woman is a complete train wreck!!! What a MORON!!!

Unfortunately, the problem is that the district MTHead represents is heavily right wing conservative Republican. She just handily won her primary and looks to be a shoo-in for another two years despite being possibly the stupidest Congressperson in history. We know one thing: we will never visit that section of Georgia. The people who would elect this imbecile are not worth knowing.

The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia's 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever. — The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia’s 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.

The Rise Of The Sanctimonious Assholes

With the impending Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, thus ending a woman’s autonomy over her own body, the radical, right wing, authoritarian conservative christians are finally making their move. It’s been fifty years in the making and it shouldn’t be surprising to anybody who has been paying attention. The Republican Party has been taken over by the evangelical christians and it’s never been more evident than during the disastrous presidencies of George W. Bush and TFG here in the twenty-first century.

John Dean’s excellent book Conservatives Without Conscience mentions the rise of the religious extremists and how former Arizona Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater lamented their influence over the Republican party. It was Goldwater who suggested the book to Dean as a warning to what would happen if these zealots took over the party. Amazingly, Goldwater would probably be booted out of the party he once headed because his stances would be considered too moderate for today’s GOP. For instance, Goldwater was pro-choice, supported medical marijuana and advocated for gay rights. The former Senator stated about conservative christians:

Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.

Unfortunately, his prescient words have come to pass. The Supreme Court is loaded with regressive thinking religious conservatives who believe that Americans should be connecting to a first century database instead of a twenty-first century one. Furthermore, as we have found out in the past twenty years, compromise is a four letter word to them as they think that going to church every Sunday and saying prayers by rote like the sheeple they are somehow makes them superior to everyone else. Like we’ve mentioned before, they want to make America into the Holy Corporate Empire by any authoritarian means possible.