Portrait Of Failure: The Trump Revolution

Inauguration Day has finally come and once again America has a President again instead of an orange-haired, megalomaniac, ranting, raving, man child CEO/Dictator. Donald Trump has flown off to his lair in Florida and competency has returned to the White House. Sane, intelligent, democracy loving Americans are breathing freely again as well as people in countries around the world, as Joe Biden prepares to , once again, clean up another fricking mess made by Republicans.

We don’t usually toot our own horn here at the Bucket, but we predicted what the coming conservative revolution led by Trump might look like back in our post of November 17, 2012. After the 2012 election, Donald Trump started whining about how Mitt Romney was robbed, thus laying the groundwork for Republican claims of election fraud in the future. Trump, who was a Tea Party/Teabagger darling at that time, also threatened to run for President which prompted our photo-toon (which we’ve reposted below) showing the complete ridiculousness of the prospect of a Trump presidency as he incites his Teabagger/future MAGA warriors onward to a glorious conservative revolution while he sits in his luxurious CEO chair stroking his hair and his massive . . . ego.

Unfortunately for the world, Trump unbelievably became President in 2016 and his presidency turned out to be every bit as catastrophic as people thought it would be, culminating in a despicable, treasonous assault on the Capitol on January 6th. In true Trump fashion (and like we predicted), he egged his sycophantic supporters on to commit treason while he took a cushy seat in the White House watching the mayhem. It should be noted that no pardons were issued for any of the people who stormed the Capitol at Trump’s request. But Steve Bannon, the man who ran a scam collecting money from the sheeple for the non-existent border wall, was pardoned. The MÆGAMoron, QAnon, evangelical rubes finally found out the hard way that Trump was nothing but a con artist who conned them nine million ways to Sunday.

In photo-toon summary, this is how Trump’s ‘revolution’ turned out.

Here’s our photo-toon from November 17. 2012 – the Inception

Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.
Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.

Here’s our latest photo-toon – the Insurrection. It sucks to be a Trump supporter.

A couple of ardent, redneck Trump supporters find out the hard way that they were duped nine million ways to Sunday by megalomaniac man child Donald Trump.
A couple of ardent, redneck Trump supporters find out the hard way that they were duped nine million ways to Sunday by megalomaniac man child Donald Trump.

Trumper Tantrum

We’ve been really, really, really enjoying our time off from commentary on current events, but it’s probably time to get back in the swing of things. So . . . anything interesting happen since election day?

Oh, yeah. Trump’s attempted coup. Yikes!!! We just might take a permanent leave of absence. Just when you thought sanity has made a comeback, Trump and his band of detestable enablers in the House and Senate have created yet another constitutional crisis. Despite having absolutely zero evidence of voter fraud and despite numerous lawsuits being thrown out, the GOP crybabies continue to whine that the election was stolen and that the Republicans will never accept Joe Biden as President. How old are these people? Because they’re supposed to be adults but yet, like their leader, the orange-haired man child, they throw tantrums every time they don’t get their way.

But this is nothing new for Republicans. Just take a gander at our category GOP Crybabies. They’ve been whining and crying since . . . forever. If they don’t get their way, there will be hell to pay as evidence by the storming of the Capitol building today by unhinged Trump supporters, a.k.a. right-wing terrorists. We sure noticed the difference in treatment of protesters. When BLM or liberal protest groups protested over the past four years, you’d would have thought that war had broken out the way armed forces were formidably stationed themselves against protesters. Not so today. The Trump-loving troglodytes were practically escorted by ‘law enforcement’ into the building to wreak havoc. What a load of bullshit!!!

So, in short: FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN REPUBLICAN CRYBABIES!!!

Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies throw their hissy fits and temper tantrums, all in an effort to overthrow the results of a democratic election to make their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, President-for-life,
Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies throw their hissy fits and temper tantrums, all in an effort to overthrow the results of a democratic election to make their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, President-for-life,

Ratcheting Up The Fear Machine To Eleven


It’s almost election day and America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is ratcheting up the fear machine to – in Spinal Tap language – eleven. With the unstoppable force that is the migrant caravan still ambling ever so slowly eight hundred miles away from the nearest American border, America’s orange haired, megalomaniac rage monster has sent 5,000 troops to the border with promises of 15,000 to defend us against a group of mostly unarmed, poor men, women and children seeking asylum from brutal governments in Central America.

We discussed previously the lunacy of the right wing coverage of the caravan on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, and the more that is revealed about this caravan, the more it just doesn’t make sense. Why would weary, dejected people filled with despair purposely walk several more hundred miles than necessary to a border where they know they’ll be harassed and treated badly when Mexico is offering everything they are looking for? Not only that, they wouldn’t have to learn a new language; they could just keep on speaking Spanish. Talk about your false flag operation. If the Republicans can duplicitously collude with Russians to sway the 2016 election, they’re capable of this piece of deception as well. Plus, Trump is a pathological liar.

We just wonder what kind of confrontation will occur between the armed to the teeth American military machine against those ‘dangerous’ migrant families.

Just in time for the midterm elections, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has ordered a gazillion troops to the border to welcome the poor, unarmed, asylum seeking migrants to America, christian style.
Just in time for the midterm elections, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has ordered a gazillion troops to the border to welcome the poor, unarmed, asylum seeking migrants to America, christian style.

The King And Queen Of Pain

Gina Haspel was narrowly approved by the Senate last week to be the new CIA director despite being grilled for being a supposed proponent of torture during the Bush Administration. Lawmakers repeatedly asked her if she would protest if perhaps Trump wanted to restart interrogation techniques such as waterboarding to which she basically did what all conservative Republicans do; avoid answering the question. You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney reemerges from his lair and states with Haspel in charge, the U.S. should restart harsh interrogations.

Of course, the Trump administration denies that Trump wants to resume the torture program, despite stating many times that he would definitely reinstate the method because “it works”. Perhaps Haspel can initiate a new torture method involving spanking with a Forbes magazine. We’re sure our megalomaniac, liar-in-chief would volunteer for that and maybe confess everything about lying on his taxes, his affair with Stormy Daniels, any collusion with Russia and the 3001 other deceptions he’s thrown at the public since his inauguration.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.
New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Only The Powah of Prayer Can Help

Another day, another shooting…aaaah, life in 21st century America. This time, instead of radical christian terrorists, it was radical islamic terrorists…but still radical religious terrorists. This husband and wife team killed 14 people and injured 21 with assault weapons, which according to every gun enthusiast, is vital to living a happy life in this country. Again the response by Republicans has been pathetic. GOP presidential candidate, Marco Rubio, proclaimed that gun control legislation won’t help and many Republicans, including the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, said they’re sending their prayers to the victims. In fact, President Obama caused quite a ruckus when he rightfully said “God isn’t fixing this” and correctly pushed for gun control legislation. The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a. Fox News, jumped in and offered the insipid response that if you’re not praying you’re for the terrorists.(That’s sounds a lot like Dubya’s old catchphrase). And of course, the NRA High Priest, Wayne LaPierre, made a video designed to make everyone want to go out, buy a gun and join in the melee, in the name of national security. At least The New York Daily News came out with a full page headline blasting Republicans on their inaction. Maybe this will light a match under the Republicans to grow a pair and stand up to the special interest groups like the NRA and the gun industry, who control them like they’re puppets. Will it work? Let’s just put it this way; we wonder where the next shooting is going to be.

GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American's sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, which gets an amen and hallelujah from NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.
GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American’s sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, much to the evangelical delight of NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.

Christian Terrorists? What Christian Terrorists?

This past weekend, an anti-choice, conservative, religious zealot, Robert Dear, barricaded himself inside a Planned Parenthood clinic and killed three people and injured nine others. If that wasn’t unsettling enough, take into account the aftermath of this tragedy. As one could predict, the media is being incredibly stupid, postulating on what his possible motive could be despite his grumbling the phrase “no more baby parts” as he was being jailed. This was in line with Republicans, who also took the Sgt. Schultz approach. (Christian Terrorists? What christian terrorists?) Probably the most inane comment was by the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, who said there was nothing linking him to the anti-abortion stance (pay no attention to the “no more baby parts” statement) and that he was a “transgendered leftist activist” and not a crazed anti-abortionist, right wing, christian terrorist. The wife of Dear even said he was conservative , religious and anti-abortion. But in Ted Cruz’s demented world vision, we need to be very afraid of people like Laverne Cox, Kaitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono, who seem to be pretty docile and friendly people. And this clown, Cruz, wants to be President.

This was obviously a politically motivated shooting and it shows how the Republican rhetoric toward defunding Planned Parenthood has created a toxic attitude toward the important organization, which provides vital reproductive and counseling services to women. We’ve mentioned before the lies and deceptions by the conservative media and Carly Fiorina concerning Planned Parenthood.  When the media and right wing conservative politicians fail to quell the hatred but instead incite it, then they should be held accountable. For instance, Ted Cruz recently crowed about an endorsement for his campaign from Troy Newman,who has openly endorsed violence against abortion providers. Another wack-a-doodle GOP candidate, Mike Huckabee, likened Planned Parenthood to ISIS. Of course, everyone of these ‘pro-lifers’ are totally for starting wars in the Middle East, which will kill thousands of people in the process. Pro-life indeed! And everyone of these ‘freedom loving conservatives’ are for getting government out people’s lives, except when it comes to women’s reproductive systems, then by all means let’s monitor their vaginas and uteri 24/7. Hypocrites indeed!

Ted Cruz says Robert Dear was a trangendered activist, while the media remains clueless about his motivation despite the shooter saying 'no more baby parts.'
Top notch sleuth and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, offers the pliant media a possible solution to the mystery of why Robert Dear attacked Planned Parenthood.

Do Unto Your Brother; But Only If He’s Christian

The big news lately in the wake of the Paris terrorists’ attack last week is what to do with the Syrian refugees. Many Americans are against letting them into the country at all, while others are demanding stricter standards for allowing them into the country. While we think sending troops to Syria is a knee jerk reaction, we  think stricter vetting of the refugees isn’t such a bad idea. We should use the same solid background checks that we use for any American who wants to purchase a gun. What could possibly go wrong with that plan? (Side note:Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, recently piped up and said Jesus would have loved guns.)

We also find it a bit odd that the most christian of the christians of the Republican candidates are saying that only christian refugees should be allowed into the country. Hmmmm…what would Capitalist Jesus have to say about that?

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests to use them on Syrian refugees because Christians rule.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests a use for them to his gun loving Christian followers.

 

Bush’s Greatest Masterpiece: The Iraq Quagmire

Former Republican President and the Picasso of the conservative GOP world, George W. Bush, recently popped his head up to provide his great wisdom on the subject of the ISIS/ISIL terrorists fighting in Iraq and Syria. Yes, in an interview with Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, it seems that Bush thinks that we never should have left Iraq in 2011 even though he agreed before he left office that troops should leave at that time. Remember folks, this from the man who dressed up in May 2003 in a flight suit and announced ‘Mission Accomplished’ in Iraq. This man boldly proclaimed that Iraq was a slam dunk and we’d be in and out in no time. Does he really think he holds any kind of credibility at all anymore? No wonder Obama doesn’t call him for advice. We think that good ol’ Dubya should just keep to painting pictures of himself in the tub.

George W. Bush proclaims people should be self sufficient except when it comes to Iraq, who should get our military and tax dollars for years to come.
Good ol' Dubya demonstrates why he should forget 'presidentin' and stick to painting pictures of himself in the bathtub.

Guns, Guns, Guns

In light of the recent event in Colorado, it may be time to revisit the Assault Weapon Ban, which was signed into law in 1994 and expired in September 2004. Seriously, do we really need assault weapons to hunt quail?

Here’s an article from our September 26, 2004 issue.

Terrorists Approve Lifting Of Assault Weapon Ban

Terrorists and gun nuts alike from across the globe are applauding the expiration of the sale of assault weapons in the United States. The ban, signed into law in 1994, prevented the sale of weapons like AK-47, Colt AR15s, and UZIs from being sold over the counter at gun dealerships.

“Wow!” said Al-Qaeda operative, Abdul Al-Zaqawi. “This makes my job so much easier. Now I don’t have to worry about sneaking weapons past security checkpoints. I just enter the country through the porous borders and buy my weaponry here. What a country! I wonder if I can get a grenade launcher?”

Presidential Candidate John Kerry expressed concern about the ban lift, stating that most Americans support the ban and that the failure to renew the law is a blatant handout to the pro-Republican gun lobby led by the National Rifle Association (NRA). Kerry said, “George Bush chose to make the job of terrorists easier and make the job of America’s police officers harder, and that’s just plain wrong.”

NRA members scoffed at Kerry’s statements. Justin Martin of Plain River, Iowa, said, “America is all about owning a gun and John Kerry just doesn’t understand that. I need my assault weapon for hunting. You really can’t kill a quail effectively without an UZI.”

Darryl Cooder, of Scarlet Thorax, Texas, said, “Alls I know is that John Kerry hates America. If he thinks I’m gonna give up my assault weapon, he’s got another think coming. I’d rather sleep with my AK-47 than my wife. Hell, I’d marry my gun if I could. Maybe I’ll support that queer marriage thing after all.”

NRA president Charlton Heston, exuberantly proclaimed, “Guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns!”

Al-Qaeda Terrorist Mohammed Saif Abdullah expressed not only support for the ban lift, but also for President Bush. “I don’t know why Dick Cheney thinks that Al-Qaeda wants John Kerry to win the election,” he said. “Thanks to George Bush and his invasion of Iraq, we are able to recruit more and more people every day from all over the Muslim world. We are also making progress in winning back Afghanistan. And just look at the gift George Bush just gave us! Maybe we can still get some nuclear weapons. I mean after all, he missed Pakistan giving nuclear secrets to North Korea and Iran. Four more years! Four more years!”