In an amusing story to end out the year here at the Bucket, Russian President and object of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s man crush, recently beat a team of influential Russian ministers, business and musicians in a friendly hockey game in Red Square by the score of 8-5, scoring half his team’s points. All we have to say is – of course, his team’s going to win and of course he’s going to score half the points. Russia’s authoritarian propaganda machine constantly promotes Putin’s athleticism and virility. The bare chested Putin riding a horse braving the elements has become cliche. So yeah. . .we’re totally sure that game was played fairly. That hockey game was kind of like letting your boss win at company picnics or get-togethers. Can you imagine if someone came along and checked Putin into the boards or blocked his shots? That person would soon have a new address in Siberia or maybe get treated to an extra special polonium-210 cocktail.
And to Trump supporters and the conservative christian Republican enablers who claim that Trump is a better president than Abraham Lincoln, compare him to Jesus Christ and don’t support impeaching him. . .we think you know where you can stick the Festivus pole.
Miss Thunberg handled the controversy like the champ she is. She changed her twitter bio to read, “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.” So let’s recap: The President of the United States bullies a teenager and then gets completely outclassed in every way possible by the teenager. Yes, Greta Thunberg is living rent free, 24/7 inside Trump’s ‘very, very large brain’.
Adding to the hypocrisy, First Lady Melania Trump, who threw a hissy fit last week during the impeachment hearing when Barron Trump’s first name was briefly mentioned, has no problem with her husband mocking a teenager stating that Thunberg is a public persona who gives speeches. So much for that ‘anti-bullying crusader’ bullshit! Still proud of the completely moral and christ-like Trumps, you hypocrital, conservative christian Republicans?
The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.
One of the big pieces of news recently outside the ever expanding vortex of the House impeachment inquiries is the announced candidacy of Michael Bloomberg running for President as a . . . wait for it . . . a Democrat. Yes, that colossal, egotistical billionaire plutocrat. former Democrat-Republican-Independent-Democrat mayor of New York City and corporate media mogul has decided in his infinite wisdom that only another plutocrat with a gargantuan ego can possibly defeat America’s CEO/Dictator and megalomaniac man child Donald Trump. He’s already bombarding the Internet, television stations and all other media outlets with salvos of ads touching all the Democrat’s talking points and, like Trump, has a bottomless pit of money to spend on the campaign.