Tag Archive for Iran

Australia On The Barbie

These are trying times not just for the United States, but for the entire world. Tensions are high in the Middle East with America’s assassination of Iran’s general Qassem Soleimani and Iran’s retaliatory attack on U.S. bases in Iraq, not to mention Iran’s accidental shooting down of a commercial airliner. There is the impeachment saga of Donald Trump and his continuing attempts with help from his flying monkey lackeys in the Senate at distracting Americans (see Iran attack).

But probably the most gut wrenching events happening now are the wildfires in Australia. We’re environmentalists here at the Bucket and it’s depressing to see the loss of so much wildlife to these raging fires, which are exacerbated by climate change. Estimates are that possibly one billion animals have been killed by the conflagrations which are consuming wide swaths of eastern Australia. Some threatened species like the tiny dunnart, potoroo and glossy black-cockatoo are being pushed to the brink of extinction. The damage is devastating and heartbreaking.

But the most frustrating thing about it is that the conservative leaders in Australia, much like their conservative counterpart Republicans in the United States are big time climate change deniers. Prime Minister Scott Morrison has received a boatload of flack for his handling of the crisis. He actually took a vacation to Hawaii while Australian citizens grappled with the fires. Of course, Morrison blamed it all on a “breakdown in communications”. He was also roundly booted from a town in New South Wales where citizens, fed up with the government inaction, heckled him thus driving him away from their town. In our estimation, Morrison deserves every bit of criticism. His and other corporatists attitude is to protect the fossil fuel industries at all cost and to ignore the obvious results of climate change, flippantly dismissing bushfires as something Australia always have had, this year it’s just a little more severe. But Australia’s summer temperatures have broken records for the last several years and the hot, dry air is only making the bushfires that much worse.

The crisis is real and Australia is in danger of losing not only its unique land wildlife but also its diverse sea life as well. The Great Barrier Reef is also in tremendous peril. The leaders of the world need to stop being greedy and consumed by materialism and the pursuit of capitalistic wealth. Like we’ve said over and over here, there is no planet B! If the living plants and creatures on this world die, we die! Since humans have commandeered this planet, it’s our responsibility as its ‘smartest’ species to make sure all life survives. Capitalism is killing life on this planet. It’s time for our leaders to pull their greedy fricking heads out of their greedy fricking asses and pass laws, a.k.a regulations, against polluting industries throughout the world.

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.
Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Wagging The Rapture Dog

The news is out that the Democrats are pushing for Robert Mueller to testify before Congress and the Trump administration and Republicans are not happy about that. Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell tried using Jedi mind tricks in the Senate by repeatedly uttering “Case closed….Case closed.” And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and delusional man child, Donald Trump, continued his pathological prevaricating on Twitter and on his right wing echo chamber Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. But there were some other disturbing developments on the international front that show that the Republicans might take an insane, catastrophic step in order to protect Trump from the fallout of Mueller testifying.

The United States has sent warships to the Gulf of Hormuz in response to ‘troubling’ actions by Iranians. National Security Advisor, war hawk and failed walrus impersonator John Bolton, has been beating the drums for war with Iran since the days of the Iraq War clusterf*ck, which Bolton still thinks was the right call. Now the delusional Bolton thinks starting another war in the Middle East would be another smashing idea and we’re sure the defense corporations are champing at the bit for a new avenue for profit. Therefore, Bolton and Trump are trying to create a Gulf of Tonkin incident so they can start a war with Iran.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also seems to be supporting the idea of war with Iran but for a different reason. Pompeo is one of those looniest of loony evangelical christians called a rapturist. In the warped mind of these nutbags, the end times are a-coming which means that all good christians will be slurped up to heaven while the rest of us ‘heathens’ will be left to toil on Earth. One of the pre-cursors for the end times, according to ‘biblical scripture’, is that Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel, which Donald Trump did last year. Now, according to the end times mythology, a great war will occur and Jesus Christ will come again which will facilitate the ‘rapture’. Many prominent Republicans are rapturists including Pompeo, VP Puritan Mike Pence, former Teabagger darling Sarah ‘Ubetcha’ Palin, former Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, housing secretary Ben ‘Mr. Sandman’ Carson and energy secretary and brain fart expert Rick Perry. So, with a normal, logical, reasonable Secretary of State, war is usually and wisely avoided. But with this evangelical loon, conditions are being forced that would result in a catastrophic conflict in the Middle East. This would mean that biblical prophecy would be ‘proven’ correct and all the ‘good people’ (christians) will get their just desserts in heaven and all the bad people (the rest of us) will suffer in lakes of fire here on Earth.

Of course, these wack jobs fail to consider that the people who wrote the bible lived two thousand years ago and didn’t know jack about the Earth or the universe. We’ve mentioned before that religious people connect to a tiny bronze age database while scientific people connect to a colossal, 21st century database chock full of knowledge. We’ve gained so much knowledge about everything in the last four hundred years. To ignore science, scientific inquiry and scientific methods is sheer lunacy and any person advocating radical ideology based on two thousand year old babble shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the corridors of power in this country. We guarantee to all those rapture loonies that unless you’re vaporized by a nuclear blast you’ll still be here left to toil on the Earth with the rest of us.

To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to 'wag the dog' with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.
To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to ‘wag the dog’ with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.

Trump Gets Respect…From Clowns

At a recent rally in a packed middle school gymnasium (you know those things seat tens of thousands of people) in Elkhart, Indiana, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, cajoled the crowd with how they’ve made America ‘respectable’ again. Oh Really???!!! According to Newsweek, global respect for America has dropped to an all-time low under Trump. The willingness of other countries to trust the U.S. is also on the wane because of Trump. Only three countries, Greece, Hungary and Nigeria, saw a positive uptick for America. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has pretty much stated that Europe can no longer depend on America because of Trump. And Trump’s disastrous plan to pull out of the Iran deal has been met with almost universal condemnation. Top E.U. official Donald Tusk, has even said that “with friends like that, who needs enemies?” in reference to Trump.

So we don’t know what Trump and Mike Pence have been smoking but they are seriously delusional. About the only group (other than Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network) that Trump has won the respect of are professional clowns. That is because the daily actions of the orange haired man-child in the White House are making them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Peace Through Ineptitude

Last week, North Korea and South Korea took a huge step toward peace when North Korea’s Kim Jong Un met with South Korea’s leader Moon Jae-in in the demilitarized zone on the border between the two countries. Kim Jong Un has announced his intention to make strides toward a nuclear free Korean peninsula.

So what caused Kim Jong Un’s about face after threatening the west with nuclear annihilation for the past seven years or ever since he came to power? Well, apparently North Korea’s test facility has completely collapsed after the last test and may be unusable. So that would definitely change Kim Jong Un’s tune if he couldn’t back up his churlish threats with, you know, actual firepower. We’re thinking that’s a of lot of egg on Kim Jong Un’s face.

But what is really strange is that Trump is somehow receiving credit for the Korean peace summit. Top Republicans have even submitted his name for a Nobel Peace Prize. But what’s even more peculiar is that the United States press and media has seemingly buried the test site’s collapse. Go ahead and Google ‘north korea test site collapse’ and the latest stories all date to April 25-26, 2018. Instead of stating the obvious reason for Kim Jong Un’s sudden enthusiasm for peace, it’s letting slide the narrative that Donald Trump is responsible for ridding the Korean peninsula of nuclear weapons without even mentioning the collapsed site. We think the destroyed test site is huge! Why is this news not getting more attention by the media? Not even the late night comedians have mentioned it. Just more bizarre events in a bizarro world where Donald Trump is somehow now the world’s greatest peacekeeper.

Now that Trump has nixed the Iran deal despite urgent pleas from our allies in France, U.K. and Germany, not to, we wonder if America’s CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’ will use the same game of nuclear brinkmanship that he used with North Korea. For the sake of the planet, we certainly hope not.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he's all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/'Peace Guru', Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

After his nuclear test site collapsed, wacky-coiffed, egg wearing North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, proclaims he’s all for peace which prompts wacky-coiffed, egg laying American CEO/Dictator/’Peace Guru’, Donald Trump, to announce that he will boldly try the same nuclear brinkmanship/peace plan on Iran.

If You Got The Oil, We Got The Time

Now that oil baron, tycoon and former Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson has been confirmed as Secretary of State, the United States has sent a message to people in America and around the world: America is officially a corporate oligarchy governed primarily by the oil, gas and coal industries and that just like the Bush Administration, which, like Ralph Nader said, was marinated in oil, America is open for business with any country that has oil. Even Alan Greenspan said in his book The Age of Turbulence, (page 463), “I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil.” Does that mean that we’ve got another war for oil, like the Iraq War, (possibly Iran) coming? Donald Trump has said the Iraq War was a mistake but since the Republicans never seem to learn from their mistakes and America’s CEO/Dictator  will always take the side of money and machismo; probably.

But another factor figures in here as well and that is the fact that Tillerson is good buddies with Russia and Vladimir Putin; so much so that Tillerson was named a Friend of Russia in 2013. Can you imagine how pissed the Republicans would be if Obama would have been named a Friend of Russia? So not only is America dependent on Middle Eastern oil, we could very well become dependent on Russian oil as well in the very near future. But hey…business is business.

Then there is the conflict of interest with a former CEO of a major oil company controlling the Department of State. Tillerson is a complete newbie when it comes to diplomacy and international relations. Although Tillerson is supposedly a great business negotiator, dealing with governments of the world is not the same as dealing with corporations of the world.

We were initially glad that Trump decided to get out of the TPP, which would have been a disaster for the environment. But with Rex Tillerson at the helm in the State Department and climate change denier, Scott Pruitt, selected to head the EPA, the new motto of America very well may be Sarah Palin’s mantra, Drill baby Drill! So screw the burgeoning alternative, clean energy industry. Let’s continue to pursue 20th century technology. Oh and don’t worry about more oil spills, environmental contamination and flammable drinking water…there are profits to be made. Cha-ching!

Oil baron, tycoon, Grand Old Plutocrat and Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, greedily proclaims that America is open for business, especially if you have oil, like his Russian pal, Vladimir Putin.

Oil baron, tycoon, Grand Old Plutocrat and Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, greedily proclaims that America is open for business, especially if you have oil, like his Russian pal, Vladimir Putin.

Pence Loves Dick

This past week, GOP VP nominee and everyone’s favorite Puritan, Mike Pence came out of the conservative closet and proudly pronounced to all that Dick Cheney, architect of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War, is his VP role model. If we had any respect for this man, (we didn’t), it was completely lost with this confession.

As a policy we started last year, whenever Dick Cheney appears in the press spouting his lies or one of his surrogates like Pence pops up praising him, we’d repeat Cheney’s biggest lie on Iraq. This is precisely the same strategy taken by the Bush Administration and the Republican Fear and Noise Machine, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a Fox News; to repeat things ad nauseum until the sheeple get it. Every person in America needs to see this video because it proves that at least one very influential person in the Bush Administration knew the Iraq War would be a quagmire and went ahead with it anyway saying instead that we would be greeted as liberators. Bush and Cheney are liars and need to be prosecuted! PLEASE…take time out and view this video!

Here’s another video released by the White House which shows how wrong Dick Cheney has been about everything and that his credibility level is zero. All we have to say about Cheney is WHAT A DICK!!!

The Tragedy Of Clogged Prayer Lines

Pope Francis made Mother Teresa a saint this past week so now the catholic sheeple have yet another semi-deity to whom they can pray. Yay!

In honor of this nonsense, here’s another golden oldie article from our archives covering the tragedy that occurs when prayer lines get clogged. Oh the horror! The horror!

This is from our April 10, 2005 issue.

Prayer Lines Clogged For Schiavo, Pope

A crisis occurred last week in heaven when billions of people across the globe simultaneously prayed for Terri Schiavo and Pope John Paul II causing ancient prayer lines to temporarily clog, preventing many prayers from getting through to intended saints, angels, and deities.

Lead prayer center agent, Saint Sixtus said, “Jesus Christ, what a mess! Oops did I just use the Lord’s name in vain. Well, I’m sorry J.C! We’ve really got to update our technology here. I mean we might have been able to keep Terri Schiavo alive for a few more days if those prayers hadn’t been lost. Boy, St. Paul really chewed my butt out for that one.”

President Bush spoke on behalf of Jesus Christ. “People, we’re going to need to update these old prayer lines. I mean don’t you hate it when you pray for something and don’t get it? It hasn’t happened to me lately, but it’s still annoying. Why I was talking to God just this morning, and the connection was all garbled. I could have sworn he said to invade Iran. Now I can’t take chance on orders from the Big Guy, so I guess we’re going to have to invade Iran. The bottom line is, if we don’t help streamline prayer technology those terrorists prayers to Allah will get through quicker and then who knows what will happen. Fear, fear, fear! Terror, terror, terror!”

Reverend Eugene Bilkwell of the Fourth Evangelical Church of Latham, Louisiana said, “I’ve been predicting this for years. My brethren, we need to upgrade to PT1 or PT3 lines as soon as possible. This technology offers wider bandwidth so Christian prayers get through quicker than Muslim, Hindu or Jewish prayers and they have less of chance of getting dropped. But it’s going to take money folks and lots of it. So be sure and give generously to your church each and every week. We’ll make sure it gets to the right people in heaven. Remember – we’ve got better connections with the Man Upstairs because we’re holier than you disgusting, degenerate sinners.”

All signs seem to indicate the panic has subsided. Saint Sixtus said, “Well everything has calmed down for now. We were hitting spikes for the Michael Jackson trial, but traffic seems to have dropped off precipitously. Yeesh! I ain’t voting for that guy to get in here. But those crappy old Seraphim 1000 lines, that are as old as Methuselah, aren’t going to hold much longer, especially if Bush invades Iran. It’s going to be the apocalypse!” After a short pause, a perplexed Saint Sixtus remarked, “Are you sure this Bush guy is in good with Jesus? Because he really seems like a bonehead to me.”

World War III: Trumpocalypse Now

We’re not pulling any punches here at the Bucket. We are vehemently anti-Donald Trump. Sure Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect, but she is basically a centrist Democrat and a moderate Republican. Like our guy Bernie Sanders has said, even on her worst days, she’s still one thousand times better than Mr. Trump.

There are countless reasons to not elect GOP frontrunner Donald Trump president. So far, he’s been as fickle as the wind on foreign and domestic issues alike. Oh, it’s Tuesday, then he’s for punishing women for abortions. If it’s Wednesday’s and the wind’s from the northwest, then women shouldn’t be punished. He used to be for gun control, but now he’s all for everyone having guns everywhere. Other issues he’s been for and against: transgender bathroom usage, same-sex marriage, NATO, reducing the national debt, Planned Parenthood, violence for political gain, etc…

But probably the biggest reason not to elect this psychopath is his foreign policy experience. We can’t think of a more dangerous person to have his finger on the nuclear button than this egomaniacal, authoritarian rage monster. The thought should make every sane Americans blood run cold. Let’s take the recent incident when U.S. sailors ventured into Iranian waters and were taken prisoners. Within a day, thanks to diplomacy by the Obama administration, the sailors were released. But Mr. Trump wanted to get tough with Iran (and possibly start World War III), which will undoubtedly be a nuclear war. He’s already sending mixed messages on foreign war policy as well. He stated that the U.S. shouldn’t be involved in foreign wars. But then he turns around and says he’d carpet bomb ISIS and show force in Syria. Can you imagine the Donald handling incidents with North Korea, China, the Ukraine, the Middle East. Just the slightest provocation would send Trump to the nuclear button. He’s already said, he would use nuclear weapons. Who knows — if Mexico doesn’t agree to build the border wall that Trump wants, he may send a few warheads southward.

The bottom line is this; if a person is thinking about voting for Trump, then that person should be prepared to go to war themselves, or send their sons, daughters or grandchildren to war. And this war won’t be just any war. It will be World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump's new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump’s new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

Cruz Sez Diplomacy Is For Pussies

This past week, the Obama administration not only pulled off a prisoner exchange where they swapped 7 Iranians for 4 Americans who had been held for years on false charges, but they also got 10 U.S. Navy sailors, who had accidentally drifted into Iranian waters, released within one day. You’d think everyone, including the GOP, would be ecstatic over these displays of calm and cool diplomacy. But NOOOOOOOOOOO! The ridiculous, whining, crybaby Republican candidates for president did nothing but criticize the Obama administration saying the exchange made America look weak. Ted Cruz, Teabagger darling and the smuggest senator alive, even said that the only reason the sailors were taken in the first place was because of the weakness of Obama. Of course, the Republicans  would have started World War III and nuked them ’til they glowed because that’s what manly men do. Screw life on earth, there are gargantuan egos and pride at stake. Yes, there’s nothing like administering 19th century, ‘wild west’ philosophy in the 21st century.

Ted Cruz declares that diplomacy is for pussies and that he'd nuke Iran unitl they glowed.

GOP candidate and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives Americans a hint at what foreign policy would be like during a possible Cruz presidency.