Tag Archive for photo-toon

GOP: What A Bunch Of Crybabies

The impeachment trial has started and as predicted it’s pretty much like we expected. The Democrats, led by the impressively competent Adam Schiff are presenting the undeniable mounds of evidence that prove that America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress and should be convicted and removed from office. The Republicans, on the other hand, are whining and crying like the f*cking crybabies they are, trying to protect their dear Leader.

The Senate rules for the impeachment are strict but not unreasonable considering the implications involved. Senators are not allowed to use their cell phones or electronic devices. They’re not allowed to get up and move around. They must sit and listen to the evidence presented so that they can make an informed decision. But are the GOP senators doing that? Of course not! All we hear is them doing what Republicans always do; scoff at any laws and do whatever the hell they want to do. Laws are fine for other people, but no Republicans! Senators have been seen leaving the chambers, talking, and even sleeping. Yes and . . . surprise, surprise . . . Chief Justice John Roberts, who is forced to observe “the living consequences of the Roberts Court’s decisions, and their corrosive effect on democracy, are plain to see”, is pretty much letting the Republicans get away with it.

What we find especially annoying is the conservative Republican complaint that it is boring. They used this tactic during the impeachment hearing and now the GOP is using it in the Senate. Even poor, widdle Spiff Romney is bored. Oh, boo, hoo, hoo! So, here’s the deal. Republican senators, who get paid a boat load of money, can’t focus enough for eight to twelve hours a day and do their jobs when most of us have to do precisely that each and every day of our adult lives. It’s called doing your job! Look at all the emergency first responders like firefighters or policemen who work several hours, even days straight, to get a job done. Look at all the service personnel, like plumbers, A/C repair people and electricians who have to work and focus for several consecutive hours straight each and every day to keep people with modern conveniences like running water, comfortable temperatures and electricity. Look at our military personnel who work long grueling shifts on bases and ships each and every day. And we’re supposed to feel sorry for you pampered assholes because you have to focus like adults and listen to evidence. What a crock of shit! The Republicans are proving again to the nation what they truly are: whiny, sucky, over-privileged crybabies!

Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies are throwing their finest temper tantrums in order to protect their crooked dear Leader, America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, from being convicted and removed from office during his impeachment trial.
Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies are throwing their finest temper tantrums in order to protect their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, from being convicted and removed from office during his impeachment trial.

Immigration Irony

With Trump’s impeachment trial getting started, the Republicans are still trying to get some distraction action going. News of a yet another migrant caravan has reached the headlines in the last week with people crying hysterically that the immigrants are coming to get us. Trump certainly knows his audience; nothing gets the right wing, authoritarian screaming mimis riled up more than immigrants ‘coming to take our jobs’.

We’ve had this photo-toon in our graphics bin for a little while, but with the Trump flak generator spewing forth drivel and spam on an hourly basis, it kind of got lost in the shuffle of the impeachment drama. But the very first Americans, like Geronimo, also had an immigration problem with people who stole their land, murdered their citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

Like we’ve mentioned many times before, the fact is we’re all immigrants to North America. The Native Americans have been here the longest, but even they migrated tens of thousands of years ago. Truly, if any people have the right to protest about immigrants taking their land, it’s the Native Americans. Since the history books of our childhood don’t really explain this narrative properly, we recommend the book Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown.

Geronimo sarcastically asks modern day Americans about their immigration problems.
Historical Reminder: The very first Americans had a serious immigration problem with foreigners who invaded their land, killed off citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

Australia On The Barbie

These are trying times not just for the United States, but for the entire world. Tensions are high in the Middle East with America’s assassination of Iran’s general Qassem Soleimani and Iran’s retaliatory attack on U.S. bases in Iraq, not to mention Iran’s accidental shooting down of a commercial airliner. There is the impeachment saga of Donald Trump and his continuing attempts with help from his flying monkey lackeys in the Senate at distracting Americans (see Iran attack).

But probably the most gut wrenching events happening now are the wildfires in Australia. We’re environmentalists here at the Bucket and it’s depressing to see the loss of so much wildlife to these raging fires, which are exacerbated by climate change. Estimates are that possibly one billion animals have been killed by the conflagrations which are consuming wide swaths of eastern Australia. Some threatened species like the tiny dunnart, potoroo and glossy black-cockatoo are being pushed to the brink of extinction. The damage is devastating and heartbreaking.

But the most frustrating thing about it is that the conservative leaders in Australia, much like their conservative counterpart Republicans in the United States are big time climate change deniers. Prime Minister Scott Morrison has received a boatload of flack for his handling of the crisis. He actually took a vacation to Hawaii while Australian citizens grappled with the fires. Of course, Morrison blamed it all on a “breakdown in communications”. He was also roundly booted from a town in New South Wales where citizens, fed up with the government inaction, heckled him thus driving him away from their town. In our estimation, Morrison deserves every bit of criticism. His and other corporatists attitude is to protect the fossil fuel industries at all cost and to ignore the obvious results of climate change, flippantly dismissing bushfires as something Australia always have had, this year it’s just a little more severe. But Australia’s summer temperatures have broken records for the last several years and the hot, dry air is only making the bushfires that much worse.

The crisis is real and Australia is in danger of losing not only its unique land wildlife but also its diverse sea life as well. The Great Barrier Reef is also in tremendous peril. The leaders of the world need to stop being greedy and consumed by materialism and the pursuit of capitalistic wealth. Like we’ve said over and over here, there is no planet B! If the living plants and creatures on this world die, we die! Since humans have commandeered this planet, it’s our responsibility as its ‘smartest’ species to make sure all life survives. Capitalism is killing life on this planet. It’s time for our leaders to pull their greedy fricking heads out of their greedy fricking asses and pass laws, a.k.a regulations, against polluting industries throughout the world.

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison laments the possible extinction of the fossil fuel industry if climate change is addressed while a kangaroo, a koala and an endangered potoroo have a few choice words for the PM.

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.
Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Slap Shootin’ Putin

In an amusing story to end out the year here at the Bucket, Russian President and object of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s man crush, recently beat a team of influential Russian ministers, business and musicians in a friendly hockey game in Red Square by the score of 8-5, scoring half his team’s points. All we have to say is – of course, his team’s going to win and of course he’s going to score half the points. Russia’s authoritarian propaganda machine constantly promotes Putin’s athleticism and virility. The bare chested Putin riding a horse braving the elements has become cliche. So yeah. . .we’re totally sure that game was played fairly. That hockey game was kind of like letting your boss win at company picnics or get-togethers. Can you imagine if someone came along and checked Putin into the boards or blocked his shots? That person would soon have a new address in Siberia or maybe get treated to an extra special polonium-210 cocktail.

We’re sure Trump completely loves the Russian propaganda spiel. We’re also sure that this is how Trump wants Americans to view him; as a virile, unbeatable man who should be worshipped and treated as a god, as evidence by his recent tweeting an obviously Photoshopped picture of his head on Sylvester Stallone’s body. As Charlie Brown would say, “Good Grief!”

Authoritarian Russian President Vladimir Putin reveals his secret for mastering his opponents in hockey - his customized AK-47 hockey stick.
Authoritarian Russian President Vladimir Putin reveals his secret for mastering his opponents in hockey – his customized AK-47 hockey stick.

Nobody Knows The Trouble Trump’s Seen

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been impeached by the Democratic controlled House of Representatives and the Republicans are in full, whiny, crybaby persecution mode. They’ve done everything from having a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Trump in 2016 (what about the 66 million who voted for Clinton or the 8 million who voted for third party candidates!) to one GOP congressman from Georgia actually comparing Trump’s impeachment to the trials and tribulations of Jesus. Jesus Christ!!! What a load of malarkey!!!!

We’ve droned on forever about how hypocritical the evangelical, conservative christian sheeple are for supporting Trump but this takes the cake. At least one christian magazine has come forward and openly supports impeaching the orange-haired megalomaniac. Maybe, just maybe, this will start a backlash that will start christians waking up and realizing that Trump is nothing more than a golden calf. Yeah right!!! But hey, it’s the supposedly ‘magical’ holiday season – we can dream can’t we!

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.

Wooly Bully

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump blew a gasket this past week and it wasn’t about impeachment. Time magazine awarded its Person of the Year award to teenage environmental activist Greta Thunberg, who boldly pleaded with and shamed world leaders this past year for not doing more about climate change or basically screwing up the place for future generations. This did not sit well with Trump who tweeted that Thunberg needed to go to anger management classes(pot calling the kettle black) and chill out at a movie with a friend.

Miss Thunberg handled the controversy like the champ she is. She changed her twitter bio to read, “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.” So let’s recap: The President of the United States bullies a teenager and then gets completely outclassed in every way possible by the teenager. Yes, Greta Thunberg is living rent free, 24/7 inside Trump’s ‘very, very large brain’.

Adding to the hypocrisy, First Lady Melania Trump, who threw a hissy fit last week during the impeachment hearing when Barron Trump’s first name was briefly mentioned, has no problem with her husband mocking a teenager stating that Thunberg is a public persona who gives speeches. So much for that ‘anti-bullying crusader’ bullshit! Still proud of the completely moral and christ-like Trumps, you hypocrital, conservative christian Republicans?

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump with blessings from his 'anti-bullying crusader' wife Melania proceeds to bully the hell out of teenage activist and Time Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, who calmly and effortlessly outclasses the petulant, orange-haired man child and his gold-digging plagiarist spouse.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump with blessings from his ‘anti-bullying crusader’ wife Melania proceeds to bully the hell out of teenage activist and Time Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg, who calmly and effortlessly outclasses the petulant, orange-haired man child and his gold-digging plagiarist spouse.

The Trump Memorial

As the impeachment investigation rolls on, a disturbing piece of news bubbled to the top of the news cycle last week, (as if the last three years haven’t been disturbing enough). Apparently, in a recent poll, over 50% of Republicans perceive that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is a better president than the very first Republican president Abraham Lincoln, who most historians rank as the best president in the history of the United States. This is clear evidence that the conservative Republicans enabling and propping up Trump, especially the evangelical sheeple, are indeed cult-like in their devotion of this modern day golden calf and are seriously deranged. We’ll put this in a simple, blunt, concise statement. There’s no f*cking way Trump is even close to being better than Lincoln!!! Are you f*cking kidding!!!

We think it’s interesting to note that when Trump began his clusterf*ck of a presidency, he proclaimed himself to be like Andrew Jackson. Lincoln’s predecessor, James Buchanan, who served as Jackson’s ambassador to Russia in 1831, also idolized Jackson as a strong chief executive when he won the presidency in 1856. But Buchanan ended up being the worst president in this nation’s history and his incompetent actions, or inactions, led to a bloody Civil War which tore this nation apart for four years with repercussions that lasted well into the 20th century. Trump’s actions have also greatly divided this nation and has made the United States a laughingstock of the world. But the always egotistical Trump has openly suggested another Civil War if he is impeached and many of his armed, pliant supporters are ready to take action. So Trump is much closer to being like James Buchanan, the worst, than Abraham Lincoln, the best.

The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

Plutocrats Rule; All Others Drool

One of the big pieces of news recently outside the ever expanding vortex of the House impeachment inquiries is the announced candidacy of Michael Bloomberg running for President as a . . . wait for it . . . a Democrat. Yes, that colossal, egotistical billionaire plutocrat. former Democrat-Republican-Independent-Democrat mayor of New York City and corporate media mogul has decided in his infinite wisdom that only another plutocrat with a gargantuan ego can possibly defeat America’s CEO/Dictator and megalomaniac man child Donald Trump. He’s already bombarding the Internet, television stations and all other media outlets with salvos of ads touching all the Democrat’s talking points and, like Trump, has a bottomless pit of money to spend on the campaign.

But will Bloomberg really be a champion for the middle class, something Trump promised he’d be in 2016 and then gave massive tax cuts to the wealthy in 2017? We’re incredibly skeptical of Bloomberg. We’ve commented many times on how Bloomberg and the other plutocrats in America’s oligarchy or the 1% actually run this country. Now the plutocrats are scared that they might actually have to pay their fair share in taxes, something they’ve been avoiding thanks the generous tax cuts offered by every administration since Reagan. The tax cuts from the Republicans in 2017 have massively helped the 1%ers become richer. But as usual, it hasn’t trickled down to the rest of us. Farmers are in crisis mode right now thanks largely to Trump’s trade war. But the realistic possibility of social democrats Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders winning the Democratic nomination is scaring tycoons like Bloomberg witless. Even computer magnate and greedy dickhead Bill Gates (worth $107 billion) whined recently that if he has to pay one hundred billion in taxes, that would be too much. For the math impaired, he’d still have seven billion dollars even if he did have to pay one hundred billion. Awwwww — poor Bill! He’d have to live on just seven billion dollars. How can any person do that? We here in the middle class have no sympathy for the greedy assholes who proclaim that they can’t live on a few measly billion dollars while most Americans struggle to live paycheck to paycheck.

We agree with others who say that the best way Mr. Bloomberg can help out this country is by buying Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. That lie machine has been pumping out disinformation, deceptions and crackpot conspiracy theories for almost a quarter of a century and is the main reason we have a cult of evangelical Trump followers running our democracy and rule of law into the ground. Bloomberg and fellow Democratic plutocrats Tom Steyer and Andrew Yang could pool their resources and do it easily. This would be the best use of the plutocrats’ billions: ridding this nation of the real fake news once and for all.

Plutocrat Michael Bloomberg announces that only another billionaire with a colossal ego can defeat Trump much to the delight of other plutocrats, oligarchs and members of the 1%.
Plutocrat Michael Bloomberg announces that only another billionaire with a colossal ego can defeat Trump much to the delight of other plutocrats, oligarchs and members of the 1%.

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.