Archive for July 27, 2011

Tuscanini Design Studio’s Luxury Stool

From our February 18, 2007 issue:

What’s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell…all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That’s why we’re teaming with SKYMart, America’s favorite in-flight crap merchant shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!

You can’t get much trendier than this Luxury Stool from the leaders in modern, contemporary, furniture design, Tuscanini Design Studio. This conversation starter is not only comfortable, it tones the body. By balancing on the streamlined tip, you’re toning your abs, hips, and scrotum in ways you’ve never dreamed possible. Plus, the cone shape enhances any trendy chic décor. Be the first in your upscale condominium with the new Luxury Stool from Tuscanini Design Studio. Sale Price: only $1 million

Rep. Oompa Loompa

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, following the debacle of the debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week, addressed the American people late last night with a message of hope …for corporate America.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner tells the American people the GOP’s economic plan for America.


Top All Time Baseball Nicknames

It’s midsummer and the baseball season is in full swing. Pennant races are heating up, the Hall of Fame has just inducted Roberto Alomar, Bert Blyleven and former GM Pat Gillick and players and fans are preparing for another exciting playoff season culminating in the fall classic World Series. Which brings to mind one of our favorite BilgeBucket Lists from March 13, 2005.

The Boys of Summer are known for their quirky nicknames, such as ‘Dizzy’ Dean, ‘Hammerin’ Hank Aaron, ‘Yogi’ Berra and Stan ‘The Man’ Musial. In honor of America’s favorite pastime, the BilgeBucket staff has decided to reprint our list of the best baseball nicknames of all time.

  • Lenny ‘Stinking Drunk’ Peterson
  • Bob ‘Puddinhead’ Wilson
  • Dave ‘Knucklehead’ Jenson
  • Ted ‘Cokehead’ Kowalski
  • Randy ‘Big Unit’ Johnson
  • Gary ‘Tripod’ Brown
  • Jerry ‘Two Inch Penis’ Mullins
  • Joe ‘Sheep Fucker’ MacDougal
  • ‘Assless’ Fred Markham
  • Henry ‘Superfluous Third Nipple’ Jones
  • Terry ‘Elephant Balls’ Smith
  • Harry ‘Roid Boy’ Engelwood
  • Kenny ‘Back Door’ Norton
  • ‘Shoeless’ Joe Jackson
  • ‘Sandals’ Sam Stone
  • ‘High Heel Pumps’ Dan Duvall
  • Dennis ‘Unserviceable Scrap Materials’ Sanders
  • Twinkletoes ‘Harold’ McGee


The Party of No, No, No

Some things never change. The debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week reminds me of a Pic of the Week photo-toon from February 6, 2009 at the beginning of Obama’s first term as President.  You see, according to Republicans, the definition of bi-partisanship is doing exactly what they want. Of course, it looks like Obama, like every other Democrat except Alan Grayson and Al Franken, is going to do a submissive roll to these whiny, sucky crybabies.


Whiny, sucky, ‘bipartisan’ GOP congressmen and senators do what they do best.

Mr. Hannity’s Neighborhood

Check out this classic photo-toon from February 13, 2005. Recently, Fox News’ own bastion of everthing American, had a blue ribbon neo-con panel on his show and their topic of discussion was how Sesame Street was too liberal and making everyone immoral. Too funny!! You see folks, it’s all Big Bird’s fault. If he would just carry an machine gun and cap everybody, all would be well with the world. Geez, come on Sean! You were doing the same thing back in 2005. It’s just rinse and repeat with our ol’ buddy Mr. Hannity. Watch the video boys and girls and see if you can count the number of hypocritical statements these eh-hem…grown-ups make. Link to Mr. Hannity’s Neighborhood.

2-13-05 – Neoconservative author and talk show host, Sean Hannity, has written an explosive new book exposing the hidden gay agenda of children’s entertainment.

BilgeBucket Returns in Convenient Blog Format

The BilgeBucket Gazette has returned to the Internet in a more convenient blog format after a two year hiatus. Yes, after two years of basically sitting on our cans, we have decided to come back and entertain annoy the denizens of the Internet with our hilarious, wacky, awkward brand of humor. The new format allows us to spew out new material in bits and chunks just like Charlie Sheen on a late night bender. It’s called Winning!! We will concentrate on creating new photo-toons, photo-flashtoons, photo-ads, photo-synthesis and other photo-prefix crap. We will also create more of our exciting, sensational,and scintillating BilgeBucket Lists for you to mock, jeer and curse at. And of course, we’ll post some of our classic creations from 2003-2009, so you can reminisce and wonder how this country ever made it through the Bush years in one piece. It’s called Winning!! So sit back and keep checking in with us for more hijinx from America’s trendiest suburb, Cactus Corners, Arizona, where everything…and we mean everything(it’s a desert here folks)… is coming up cactus!