president – BilgeBucket Gazette

Happy 100th Birthday Jimmy Carter!

We’d like to wish former President of the United States (#39) Jimmy Carter a Happy 100th Birthday! Not only is he the longest lived President in United States history, he is also considered one of the best elder statesmen. Furthermore, he is also one of the finest human beings to hold the office. If you need evidence of that, look no further than the thousands of people helped through his Habitat for Humanity charity.

If Americans are looking for a role model, we recommend Jimmy Carter over Donald Trump any day!

Happy 100th Birthday former President Jimmy Carter!

RFK Jr.’s Favorite Book

One of the big questions of this election season is what the hell happened to RFK Jr.? We mean WTF!!! He used to be a respected environmental warrior. We even endorsed his book Crimes Against Nature here back in 2004. Now all sorts of strange stories have come out about him and the problem is that most of them are true.

First, there’s the story of doctors revealing that worms had been eating his brains and died. Then there’s the video of Mr. Environment Guy regaling Roseanne about how he stopped and stuffed a dead bear cub – a.k.a roadkill – in his trunk and then leaving it as a prank in Central Park when he remembered he couldn’t bring it home to eat because he had to go to the airport. Then there’s the story about he stopped and chainsawed a dead whale’s head off and strapped it to the top of his vehicle. Then there’s the story of how he dealt drugs in college at Harvard. Again, what the hell happened to him!!!

Back on our February 12, 2012 post, we featured as our Book O’ The Month Daisy June Huneycutt’s epic cookbook Cookin’ Roadkill. Well, the second edition has been released and guess who’s endorsing it? Why RFK, Jr., of course! As a matter of fact, it’s his favorite book.

Daisy June Huneycutt's epic cookbook Cookin' Roadkill is now in its second edition with a special endorsement from roadkill and brain worm aficionado Robert Kennedy Jr., who is also maybe or maybe not running for President. — Daisy June Huneycutt’s epic cookbook **Cookin’ Roadkill** is now in its second edition with a special endorsement from roadkill and brain worm aficionado Robert Kennedy Jr., who is also maybe or maybe not running for President.

Hope, Thy Name Is Kamala Harris

A lot has happened since our last post a month ago. Honestly, folks, the way the election had been panning out was depressing the hell out of us. Joe Biden, despite having one of the best legislative terms in history, was being labeled as too old as compared to an equally old and more unstable and completely dishonest man, the twice impeached convicted felon TFG. The fix was in and it still may be in, we don’t know. But President Biden bowing out of the race and endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris completely threw the Republicans for a loop. For once, the Democrats put the screws to the GOP and we’re feeling something we haven’t felt in a while – HOPE!

There are many positive signs for democracy loving citizens. The Democrats have coalesced and galvanized around Harris. The Vice President has raked in millions of dollars and gave a rally to a full house in Atlanta. Her reported nominees for Vice President are all solid candidates. We’re pushing for Arizona Senator Mark Kelly but then again we’re Arizonans and a bit biased. Not only that but Donald Trump gave one his worst interviews ever (and he’s given a zillion awful interviews in the last nine years) at the National Association of Black Journalists this past week. He completely screwed the pooch and probably lost the black vote completely. His flip-flopping VP pick J.D. Vance is not impressing anyone. So far the only things Republicans can complain about Harris is the lame comment that she’s always laughing. So there are plenty reasons to be hopeful.

But we’re sure the corrupt corporate media will do a hit job on Harris they way they did in 2016 against Hillary Clinton once they find something bad, no matter how picayune the issue is, in which to bash her and whoever her running mate ends up being. The media wants drama and Zeus damn it, drama makes lots of MONEY, which is what the greedy corporations and America are all about. So, get ready for a bumpy three months, folks. Things are looking much better for democracy loving Americans, but it ain’t over yet.

The Republican Party is so broken and weird that they are criticizing Democratic candidate, current Vice President Kamala Harris for the unforgivable sin of laughing.

Trump & Jeebus: Peas In A Pod

One of our features here is Capitalist Jesus where we present Jesus dressed in his best suit and tie ensemble commenting how wonderful capitalism and right wing conservative christianity is. Because nothing is more christian than the unregulated greed and selfishness brought on by unregulated capitalism. Like we’ve said before, unregulated capitalism is just indirect cannibalism. We’re killing each other for fun and profit.

Which reminds us of TFG, a.k.a. former twice impeached American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. We posted a photo-toon of Capitalist Jesus back in 2016 when TFG started running for President which pretty much sums up how hypocritical modern evangelical christians in the GOP are when it comes to supporting this pathological liar. Since Con-a-thon 2024 is basically a repeat of Con-a-thon 2020 and Trump ran during the Con-a-thon 2016, our job here is pretty easy. Since the Republican Party is rinsing and repeating with the stupidity of Donald Trump, we can rinse and repeat with our photo-toons because one thing hasn’t changes since 2016: Donald Trump is still a greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted and oppressive asshole.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

Forecast 2024: Goodbye Women’s Rights?

We’re not going to lie to you, folks. We’ve been thinking of hanging up the old bilge bucket over the last couple years. We don’t like what’s happening with TFG, the GOP or the corporate media. If this were a functioning socity of law and order, he should already be in jail serving a sentence for any of his 91 criminal counts, especially provoking the Jan. 6th insurrection. It’s obvious and if the Republicans were in any way honest, they’d admit their mistake, cut him loose and choose a new standard bearer for their party. But they’re not honest in the slightest despite claiming to be conservative christians. We honestly don’t think if Jesus somehow came back to Earth, he’d be hanging out with Trumpty Dumpty.

We think Biden is doing a great job – a lot better than we thought he would quite frankly. He’s been laser focused on restoring our relationships with our allies, helping spread democracy in Ukraine and improving the economy. His legislative victories (Infrastructure Act, Inflation Reduction Act, Chips Act, Pact Act, etc . . .) are reminiscent of LBJ’s first term. So we absolutely don’t trust polls that say Trump is leading Biden. Moreover, the media is doing an atrocious job of highlighting Biden’s accomplishments. Remember, Trump said the stock market would crash under Biden, but instead, it’s been approaching all-time highs. Not only that, he has hardly spent any time on the golf course unlike a certain orange tub o’ goo.

We’ve decided to go one more election cycle (or Con-a-thons as we like to call them) and then call it quits. We’ll be mostly posting old photo-toons relating to TFG since he’s the same a-hole that he’s been since forever. Plus, we’ll add some new ones on him and the new confederacy of dunces masquerading as GOP congressmen and senators. Plus, to keep our own sanity, we’ll post non-political schtuff to try and get back to our original quest of being a poor man’s Onion. Will it work? Who knows! But let’s see what happens anyway.

Republicans have already taken away reproductive rights from females and are aiming to regress the role of women in America to 19th century status of being just a non-voting baby factory.

Rewind: Pat & Rudy Time Warpin’

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Pat Robertson, the uber-evangelical preacher who, together with fellow holy huckster Jerry Falwell, blew hot air into the christian nationalism movement that is threatening to turn our democracy into a theocracy, died last week. We had a very poignant salute to Falwell when he died in 2007 (and repost in 2015) listing all his greatest hates so just visit that page and you’ll be up to date on Robertson’s dubious record. We’ve also had a photo-toon featuring Robertson and his exceptional ability to exaggerate, but then that’s what you should expect from an evangelical con-man. But we found another photo-toon from our November 29, 2007 issue of Robertson endorsing Rudy Giuliani for President in 2008, presumably for his role in helping New York heal after 9/11. We had an article covering that election. But this photo-toon features Robertson with Giuliani dressed in drag ala Rocky Horror Picture Show. In case you’ve forgotten, Giuliani dressed in drag on more than a few occasions including a strange one with megalomaniac man-child Donald Trump. We wonder what ultra-conservative, christian, anti-LGBTQ MAGA Morons and QAnon nutbags would say if they saw this video of Trump motorboating Rudy’s fake boobies.

Ultra-conservative televangelist Pat Robertson endorsed Rudy Giuliani for President in 2008 even though Giuliani had supported abortion and gay rights, two issues which Robertson is vehemently against, and had dressed in drag on several occasions.

Coward Of The Country

Ted Cruz. Just saying the name brings a mixture of laughter and revulsion that is hard to describe. Over the past decade, he has cemented his status as the most hated American politician and yet . . . he’s still in Congress, just like other contemptible Republicans Lindsay Graham, Mitch McConnell, Thom Tillis, Susan Collins, etc…. But Ted Cruz, who started out as a Teabagger darling, is especially slimy. We’ve made many photo-toons about Cruz’s reprehensibility over the years but his recent actions have only reinforced his status.

Take his part in the Capitol riots on January 6th. He purposefully lent legitimacy to unfounded claims of voter fraud with fellow GOP corporate lackeys Josh Hawley and Tommy Tuberville (sounds like a kid’s show clown) opposing the legal election of Joe Biden. Then during Trump’s second impeachment trial, these seditionists voted that the petulant man child was innocent despite a 57-43 verdict and Mitch McConnell stating that the orange-haired megalomaniac was certainly responsible for inciting the riot. But Cruz is culpable. He could have promoted unity but instead insisted with his election fraud shenanigans thus egging on the easily triggered Trump troglodytes.

Cruz’s cowardice isn’t surprising considering that he opening ridiculed Trump in the 2016 presidential campaign, performed a 180 and smooched his gargantuan ass when he got the nomination despite Trump calling his wife ugly and saying his dad helped kill JFK.

But Cruz took his vileness to new levels in the past week. Texas suffered one of its worst winter storms on record with temperatures in the normally balmy state dipping down into single digits and snow accumulating across the entire state. Not only that, the power went out because the gas and coal plants weren’t weatherized properly, so people had to deal with rolling blackouts. Some even had to burn furniture or live in their cars. But Ted Cruz had a great solution . . . at least for him. Instead of showing leadership to his constituents, he did the very Republican thing of saying let them eat cake and flew off with his family to Cancun. Wow! The stupidity of this action is enormously stunning! What makes it even more damning for Cruz is that Alexandrea Ocasio-Cortez, who isn’t even from Texas, managed to not only raise millions of dollars for victims but also flew down and helped out. Way to go AOC!

Yes, Ted Cruz has proven himself to be many things; Senator, sycophant, seditionist, traitor and coward. Which begs the question – how and why the hell is he still in Congress?

Ted Cruz: Senator, sycophant, seditionist, traitor, coward.

The RepubliQAnons

Twice Impeached former American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump’s impeachment trial is starting and the Republicans are in full political theater mode trying to present themselves fighting a ‘civil war’ whether or not to fully back Trump or do a re-brand and distance themselves from the the worst President in the United States history; a President who openly on tape incited a riot on the United States Capitol on January 6th to overthrow the results of a democratic election. You’d think this would be a no-brainer to any sane party. But we’re talking about the modern day, 21st century Republican party, folks.

The Republicans are already indicating that they’ll likely let Trump get away with his authoritarian power play. They’ve also indicated that despite stripping neophyte congress person and QAnon nutbag Marjorie Taylor Greene of her committee appointments, the House Republicans showed their support for this insipid piece of excrement by giving her a standing ovation. The GOP can no longer plead ignorance. They know what they’re doing. They fully endorse the bat shit insanity of the far right wing of the party and have decided that they are willing to overthrow democracy and the constitution in order to install a permanent, fascist, authoritarian Republican hegemony, (as Karl Rove called it back during Dubya’s clusterf*ck presidency) no matter what the cost.

We’ve noted that the GOP has changed their logo when they embraced Trump in 2016. But this is 2021. They are no longer the Republicans. They are now the RepubliQAnons. They represent not only the greedy 1% corporate plutocrats in the upper echelon of the party, but they also count as members of their constituency Nazis, the KKK, Neo-Confederates, white supremacists, racists, loony rapture-loving evangelicals, gun nuts, and now lunatic fringe QAnon acolytes. Yes, this new logo pretty much summarizes all bat shit insane ideologies the modern Republican party represents.

With their defense of Donald Trump’s inciting an insurrection and the embrace of QAnon nutcase Marjorie Taylor Greene, the 2021 Republican party has rebranded its logo to more truly reflect the conspiracies for which they stand.

Trumper Tantrum

We’ve been really, really, really enjoying our time off from commentary on current events, but it’s probably time to get back in the swing of things. So . . . anything interesting happen since election day?

Oh, yeah. Trump’s attempted coup. Yikes!!! We just might take a permanent leave of absence. Just when you thought sanity has made a comeback, Trump and his band of detestable enablers in the House and Senate have created yet another constitutional crisis. Despite having absolutely zero evidence of voter fraud and despite numerous lawsuits being thrown out, the GOP crybabies continue to whine that the election was stolen and that the Republicans will never accept Joe Biden as President. How old are these people? Because they’re supposed to be adults but yet, like their leader, the orange-haired man child, they throw tantrums every time they don’t get their way.

But this is nothing new for Republicans. Just take a gander at our category GOP Crybabies. They’ve been whining and crying since . . . forever. If they don’t get their way, there will be hell to pay as evidence by the storming of the Capitol building today by unhinged Trump supporters, a.k.a. right-wing terrorists. We sure noticed the difference in treatment of protesters. When BLM or liberal protest groups protested over the past four years, you’d would have thought that war had broken out the way armed forces were formidably stationed themselves against protesters. Not so today. The Trump-loving troglodytes were practically escorted by ‘law enforcement’ into the building to wreak havoc. What a load of bullshit!!!

So, in short: FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN REPUBLICAN CRYBABIES!!!

Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies throw their hissy fits and temper tantrums, all in an effort to overthrow the results of a democratic election to make their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, President-for-life,

Hey Trump: YOU’RE FIRED!

Well, they finally called the presidential election Saturday for Joe Biden. The states of Pennsylvania and Nevada were called which put Biden over the top with 279 electoral votes. Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina and Alaska are still having votes tabulated but it looks like Biden will impressively pick up red states Arizona and Georgia (which would give Biden 306) while Alaska and North Carolina will go to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump.

We’ll have more commentary about the election later this week, but for now, we’ve got just one thing to say to Donald Trump that most sane, intelligent Americans have been waiting to say to this pathological prevaricator since 2016: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!

Hey, Donald Trump: YOU'RE FIRED!!!! — Hey, Donald Trump: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!