Tag Archive for president

A Hair Raising Predicament

Things haven’t been going well for America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump lately. Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has been pushing forth on the Russia investigation and has impaneled a grand jury, which may or may not indicate an indictment is near. Not only that, Trump’s approval ratings continue to drop. So, as it so often goes when things go south for world leaders and they need a distraction, the one thing that can change everything around in a hurry is a war. And Trump has a very convenient obnoxious opponent waiting in the wings to give Trump a boost.

Kim Jong Un has been saber rattling…or shall we say…missile rattling ever since he came to power in 2011. He tried to rattle Obama, but failed. But Trump has a man-child mentality exactly like Kim Jong Un does (which is why Jong-Un supported Trump for President). When the North Korean leader started boasting that he was going to hit the United States, instead of a calm, even, adult response, Trump acted like any eighth grader would and stoked the nuclear fires with promises of ‘fire and fury’. Then Kim Jong Un responded by threatening to hit Guam, which is a U.S. territory in the Pacific Ocean.

So now it’s game on, much to the horror of every living thing on this planet. The two most infantile leaders on Earth have exchanged barbs over who has the biggest missiles. Now every nation on edge thanks to the little boy in North Korea with a bad hair cut, who wants to prove what a manly man he is by picking a fight with the most powerful country in the world, whose leader is an unstable megalomaniac, who openly wondered why we didn’t use nuclear weapons. We just hope the subject doesn’t change to who has the wackiest hair; then it’s game over.

The two most infantile leaders in the world, North Korea's Kim Jong Un and America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, have decided to start a nuclear war over who has the wackiest hair because...you know...they're insane.

The two most infantile leaders in the world, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un and America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, have decided to start a nuclear war over who has the wackiest hair because…you know…they’re insane.

Salve, Arrivederci Mooch!

Back in 2006, when the Bush administration took a thumping in the November elections, we were of the opinion that there would never be a White House as screwed up as Bush’s. We were wrong. To say the Trump White House is chaotic is as obvious as saying the sun is hot. Every damn day, something new is being mucked up.

Last week, in an effort to dispose of leaks in the Trump White House, America’s CEO/Dictator hired Antony Scaramucci, an up and coming financier and entrepreneur who promised to rid the White House of spies and leakers.  Scaramucci, or the Mooch as he likes to be called, promptly gave a profanity laden tirade against the leakers saying Reince Priebus was a “f*cking paranoid schizophrenic” and Steve Bannon likes to “suck his own c*ck”. He and Trump then promptly fired everyone’s favorite whipping boy, chief of staff, Reince Priebus.  Then Priebus showed what a sycophantic putz he was by saying “I’m always going to be a Trump fan. I’m on Team Trump, and I look forward to helping him achieve his goals and his agenda for the American people.” Geez! What an idiot!

Well, it turns out that the new chief of staff, John Kelly, doesn’t really like the Mooch, so guess what? Ol’ Moocher is gone. Wow! And we thought Michael Flynn’s tenure was short. Apparently, John Kelly, who is a former Marine general, is a bit of an authoritarian. So he’ll fit in just fine with Trump’s authoritarian regime. Will Kelly be an effective ringleader of this multi-ring clusterf*ck circus that is the Trump administration? Now we think Kelly is by far, a better choice than Priebus, but based on the six months of stunning ineptitude displayed so far, we’re kind of skeptical.

 World class profanity artist, Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. the Mooch, lasted just ten days as communications director before America's CEO/Dictator fired him in true Trumpian fashion.

World class profanity artist, Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. the Mooch, lasted just ten days as communications director before America’s CEO/Dictator gave him the ol’ heave ho in true Trumpian fashion.

Trumpf Youth

A strange thing happened recently on the campaign trail with Donald Trump. Normally, the previous sentence would have people scratching their heads in befuddlement. Campaign trail? It’s mid 2017; the election is over. But this is the Trump administration, where absurdity is the new normal. Trump is already campaigning for 2020 and this is a prime opportunity to try and strengthen the Trump authoritarian, fascist brand.

So anyway, Trump made an appearance at the annual Boy Scout Jamboree, an event where all the Boy Scouts get together and celebrate scouting. But when America’s CEO/Dictator showed up, he made  it all about…(drumroll please)…himself. Big surprise, right. Well, the orange rage monster decided to smear his political rivals as well…to a bunch of pre-teens and teens. They were there to talk about camping, scouting and community service and they got a rambling rant about the ‘evils’ of Obamacare, Hillary Clinton and ‘fake news’. Obama and Hillary even got booed at the mention of their names.

Trump even noted how big the crowd was and how wonderful it was that 40,000 people showed up. But they showed up for the jamboree, not Donald Trump. It’s an annual event. Like Stephen Colbert pointed out, it’s like Trump showing up for the Super Bowl and commenting how many people were there to see him. They would be there to see the football game, not some orange haired megalomaniac dictator bloviate and self aggrandize. The Boy Scouts of America officially issued an apology for Trump’s remarks.

What’s so unnerving about this is that Donald Trump seems to be following the strategy of another cultish, right wing conservative buffoon named Adolf Hitler. Yeah, yeah we know all about Godwin’s Law. And if you follow the above link and take a look at our handy dandy fascist checklist, you’ll see the modern day Republicans have a frightening similarity to the NSDAP party from 1930’s Germany. Trump is staging campaign rallies around the United States in non-election years to push conservative propaganda and build up support for his brand. Now he is trying to lure the youth of America into following his party’s narrow minded ideology. The best time to brainwash a mind is when it is young, innocent and impressionable as all religions, cults and authoritarian regimes know. We wouldn’t be surprised at all if Trump starts a Trump Youth or a Trump Scouts organization because it’s right in line with the GOP’s brand of right wing authoritarianism.

P.S. We make fun of our own Senator John McCain here…a lot. But we have to give him props for voting against the ‘skinny’ Obamacare repeal last night along with GOP moderates Susan Collins(ME) and Linda Murkowski(AK), thus putting an end to the Republicans horrible healthcare repeal bill. Jeff Flake, however… well Mr. Flake will get his comeuppance in the November 2018 election.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is now recruiting impressionable kids to join the Trumpf Youth, where children will learn valuable skills like lying about your taxes, colluding with hostile foreign governments and grabbing women by the pussy.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is now recruiting impressionable children to join the Trumpf Youth, where kids will learn valuable skills like lying about your taxes, colluding with hostile foreign governments and grabbing women by the pussy.

Trump Fatigue Syndrome

The dog days of summer are here in America and people are sweating their arsenals off in every corner of the U.S. The monsoon season is upon us here in Arizona which means the normally dry air with <10% humidity, is now a swamp like 30-50%. Our energy levels are zilch. While we’re feeling the draining effects of the heat and humidity, we’re also suffering from something more insidious: Trump Fatigue Syndrome. Yes, we are so god damn sick and tired of this stupid President and his daily scandals, lies, deception and bullshit, that even hilarious commentary from comedians like Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and Samantha Bee isn’t helping. Even the news that Sean Spicer is resigning brings us no joy.

One reason is that we keep hearing that the shit is going to hit the fan real soon. But we’ve been hearing that for five months now. Nothing is happening, which gives us a nauseous feeling that justice will not be served. We just hope the scenario depicted in this photo-toon Meme-rie eventually plays out. It was originally a photo-toon featuring disgraced Bush administration member Scooter Libby from our March 11th issue in 2007. But we like to recycle here at the Bucket, so voila…here’s the Donald getting a special welcoming from his new bunkmate. In short: LOCK HIM UP!!!!  

P.S. If you’re thinking of visiting Arizona, do not come in July and August. See our old Cactus Corners Forecast category posts for clarification.

Donald Trump's new cellmate and friendly, loyal assistant asks if he likes spooning.

The only cure for Trump Fatigue Syndrome is placing the Donald in a new luxury residence complete with a friendly, loyal assistant.

A Confederacy Of Nincompoops

The biggest media circus of the 21st century has commenced. The hearing about possible connections of the Trump campaign with Russia during the presidential election and Trump’s possible obstruction of justice in preventing further investigation into the matter has started and all eyes are on former FBI director James Comey, who’s already released some pretty damning evidence already.

We’re not big fans of James Comey. He knew Trump may have colluded with Russia on hacking the election and he chose to instead bring up Hillary Clinton’s non scandal with the email server before the election, which many believe, including us, tilted the election in Trump’s favor. In our minds, he’s a nincompoop (old timer staff member Chester Einstein loves that funny old word.) He deserved to get fired. But now he’s in a position where the sane people of the United States have to rely on him to bring down a dangerously insane President.

Will Comey’s testimony amount to something? Could this be the end of the Trump White House? We here at the Bucket would like nothing more than to see all the Republicans responsible for Trump becoming President go to a maximum security prison with cellmates named Bubba who like to spoon…a lot. But unfortunately, and we hate to be dubious downers about this —- it’s already shaping up to being nothing more than spectacle. Top Republicans are already spinning up tornadoes of excuses for Trump. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said that Trump was just inexperienced and didn’t know the protocol. Arizona Senator and crusty old curmudgeon, John McCain, who was supposed so concerned over the possibility of Russia interfering in the election, struck out in his questioning of Comey, preferring to ask nonsensically about Hillary Clinton’s emails. The pattern looks to be set. As long as Republicans are in charge, they will not harm other Republicans. They have deliberately chosen to put party before country. Period!

Trump is the ideal distraction for conservative Republicans to ram their filthy, cruel, narrow minded, ideological agenda through congress. While the media and the American public are currently busy gawking at the Trump and Comey confederacy of nincompoops, the Republicans in the House just passed a bill that would rescind the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform Law from 2010, thus opening the door for the same kind of financial malfeasance which brought upon the Great Recession. Senate Republicans are also close on repealing Obamacare. With the Republicans in charge, one thing is for sure; democracy in this country is so screwed.

Apparently, Americans have to depend on one nincompoop to defend us from another more colossal nincompoop. Ahhhh! Democracy in the 21st century!

Apparently, Americans have to depend on one nincompoop to defend us from another more colossal nincompoop. Ahhhh! Democracy in the 21st century!

 

Trump’s Lapdog In The Dog House

In a stunning reversal of fortune, California Republican representative Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, recused himself as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation into the Trump administration’s ties with Russia during the 2016 election.

Nunes has received much criticism from Democrats and moderate Republicans for appearing to be CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s lapdog. In the past couple of weeks, Fido has gone out of his way to make sure Donald Trump knew what was going on during the proceedings, which is a huge violation of House rules, federal law and ethics. But hey…when has that stopped the Republicans before. He is now under investigation for possibly disclosing classified information. Fido’s colleague, Rep. Ted Yoho, even said in defense of his friend, “Nunes is a man of high integrity and character”. Then he went on to say “You gotta keep in mind who he works for. He works for the president. He answers to the president.” No. No he doesn’t. Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes works for the constituents of the 22nd congressional district in California, not the President. He should put the people’s interest first since this is…you know…A DEMOCRACY.

Yep, Fido Nunes has been a good boy for his authoritarian master. We have no doubt he’ll be rewarded for his service like the good little lapdog he is.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin 'Fido' Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.

Trump: Modern Day Golden Calf

It’s April Fools Day, so what better way to celebrate it then by poking fun at the biggest fool in America and all the fools who support and enable him.

The more the Trump administration falters, the more his enablers come to the forefront and not only lie their asses to the public, but also to themselves. We’ve mentioned again and again in our posts, it’s absolutely astounding that anybody bought Trump’s shit during the campaign season, but here it is April 2017 and he’s president of the most powerful country on Earth. This isn’t an elaborate April Fools Day prank; this is, extremely unfortunately,…REALITY.

But the biggest joke is on the christians who voted for this selfish, greedy, egotistical, materialistic bigoted megalomaniac, who isn’t like Jesus at all. As a matter of fact, he’s the polar opposite. How can christians justify and enable this man, who claims to be for the common person, but yet pursues policies which will leave them impoverished, sick and broken while making his rich, plutocrat brethren even richer? Like we said a couple posts ago, if you make under 100k a year and you vote Republican, you are voting against your own self interests and you are a sucker and a fool. Or to put it in biblical terms, you are worshiping a modern day golden calf and that calf’s name is Donald Trump.

Donald Trump - Modern Day Golden Calf

The biblical story of the golden calf has resurrected itself in the form of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

 

It’s The Size That Counts

It’s only been one day since the inauguration of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, and already the bullshit is flying. But then again, the bullshit has been flying ever since Trump first announced he’s running for President.

Trump administration Press Secretary Sean Spicer threw a hissy fit at the press over the press accurately reporting that the crowd size was less than that of Obama’s in 2009 and 2013. Of course, CEO/Dictator Trump claimed that his inauguration was the hugest ever stating that over 1 million people attended. Aerial photographs proved this claim to be completely false. Trump also “falsely claimed it stopped raining and the sun came out just as he started speaking when, in fact, the rain continued and the day remained overcast and cloudy.” Holy crap, that’s seriously delusional! But then again, what do you expect from a guy with such outrageously huuuuuuge hands.

One thing’s for sure: there will be no shortage of material for us here at the Bucket for the next four years.

UPDATE : Jan. 22 – Crowd scientists estimate that the Women’s March in Washington on January 21st had three times as many people as the Trump inauguration.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proclaims that the crows size at his inauguration were as big as his hand size.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proclaims that the crowd size at his inauguration were as big as his hand size.

Obama Made America Great Again

As Barack Obama’s term as the 44th President of the United States winds down to it’s last days and the dawn of the Trump era of corrupt corporate fascism begins, we’d like to offer our thanks and appreciation to President Obama.

He ascended to office back in 2009 with howls of derision from crybaby Republicans and hopes that he would fail. America was stuck in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan. The economy was reeling because of the failed policies of the Bush administration and the repeal of the Glass-Stegall act by both Bill Clinton and the Republicans. Despite bending over backwards to appease the crybaby Republicans, the GOP just wouldn’t do anything to support the President and that includes fighting tooth and nail to make sure that even the poorest Americans don’t have access to affordable healthcare. But Obamacare became a reality and millions now can actually see a doctor when they get sick. He also lessened our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan and he actually eliminated America’s greatest threat, Osama Bin Laden, much to the chagrin of jealous Republicans. Please review our archives for more details of Republican obstructionism.

Obama achieved many accomplishments during his two terms in office. We’ll just list the top ten highlights in this post, but they’re listed in depth on other pages like this one (which lists 400). Washington Monthly lists 50 here. In summary, thank you Barack Obama: you made America great again.

  • Passed Healthcare Reform so millions of uninsured Americans can afford coverage
  • Rescued the economy from the Great Recession with 15.5 million jobs added, unemployment down to 4.6% and reduced the deficit from 9.8% GDP in 2009 to 3.2% GDP in 2016.
  • Eliminated the world’s #1 terrorist Osama Bin Laden
  • Reduced America’s military involvement in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan
  • Negotiated a deal to block Iran’s nuclear weapons development and submit to inspections
  • Passed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform act to re-regulate the financial sector because of the disastrous policies that created the Great Recession
  • Established and protected Net Neutrality
  • Improved America’s image abroad after George W. Bush’s disastrous administration alienated many of the United State’s allies
  • Strengthened civil rights for all Americans including the LGBTQ and non-religious communities
  • Normalized relations with Cuba after more than fifty years of a failed isolationist policy
Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.

Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.

Restocking The Swamp

New American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, has been busy making his cabinet picks and guess what folks…surprise, surprise he’s going back on his promises already. During his campaign he promised to drain the swamp of corrupt influences. So who does he appoint to his cabinet? – His fellow plutocrats and fat cats who collectively have wealth over 14 billion dollars. He’s not draining the swamp, he’s restocking it.

Some of the more high profile selections are Exxon-Mobil CEO and Vladimir Putin pal Rex Tillerson($500 million in assets), former Goldman Sachs partner Steve Mnuchin($655 million), Wall Street insider Wilbur Ross($2.5 billion), charter school activist Betsy DeVos($5 billion) and former Wrestling tycoon Linda McMahon($1.2 billon). These people, like Trump, are only interested in money and making money at the expense of everything else. In other words, they only speak the language of money. And if you take a look at some of their pictures online, you always see them hanging out at fancy soirees, elite dinners, plutocrat love fests at exclusive country clubs and other events meant only for the 1% percenters. So unfortunately for red state Republicans who voted for Trump… these guys aren’t men or women of the people. They’re not going to have a beer with them. As a matter of fact, they wouldn’t be caught dead with them. But they’ll sure take their money.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump drained the swamp and restocked it with his millionaire and billionaire plutocrat pals who speak the language of money, like Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin and Rex Tillerson.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump drained the swamp and restocked it with his millionaire and billionaire plutocrat pals who speak the language of money, like Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin and Rex Tillerson.