Archive for Let Them Eat Cake

Dark Brandon Delivers

Last week President Joe Biden delivered the State of the Union address in dramatic fashion. The entirety of the corporate media establishment in lock step with the Republican party had been painting Biden as a dim-witted, feeble old man incapable of anything but drooling. Instead, Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered one of the best SOTU speeches in recent memory and dispelled any notion that he was too old for the job.

It’s not surprising that Biden nailed it. He’s still a strong, capable leader with fifty years of vital, important, EXPERIENCE in all phases of government. This week, special counsel Robert Hur’s damning statement in his investigation of Biden’s secret documentation case about the President having a poor memory was found to the be contradicted by his own testimony saying Biden had “photographic understanding and recall of the house”, a tidbit the Republican left out of his final statement. It just shows that Republicans are coordinated in their efforts to bring any kind of damage they can to Biden, despite the fact that he has done a great job in his first term as President. We’ll take Biden’s 81 years of EXPERIENCE to TFG’s 91 felony counts any day!

Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.
Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.

The Simmering Trumputin Bromance

Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump has made no secret of how much he admires Russian strongman Vladimir Putin. We’ve certainly created many photo-toons mocking their weird bromance over the past eight years (good grief! has it been that long?), like this one from 2016.

Recently former Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was talking about Trump’s obsession with Putin and how ‘creepy’ it was. He also pointed out how other world leaders noted it and how disturbing it was. This is after Trump said at one of his Nuremburg rallies that he’d bully NATO allies to pay up or he’d let his pal Vlad invade their country, thus completely ignoring the whole purpose of the alliance. That’s right, folks. Trump is on board with one of the world’s most ruthless dictators and he wants to turn America into the dysfunctional oligarchy that is Russia. He’s also met with Hungarian autocrat Victor Orban at Mar-a-largo. The writing is on the wall: if Trump obtains power again, America will be an authoritarian dictatorship and we can kiss our basic democratic freedoms goodbye.

We’re sure the following photo-toon is Trump’s fantasy outing with his man crush, Vlad. If only we could make this possible.

Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump was recently seen gallivanting around in his gold sneakers with his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on the vast Russian steppes.
Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump was recently seen gallivanting around in his gold sneakers with his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on the vast Russian steppes.

Wake Up America! (Part ∞)

Recently, twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator and megalomaniac man child Donald Trump, who is dealing with 91 felony charges against him said something really disturbing. (As if everything from 2015 to present day hasn’t been, amirite?) TFG said at one of his suckfests that he would encourage Russia to invade any of our NATO allies who didn’t pay their bills. That’s right, folks: Trump openly and proudly aligned himself with the ruthless dictator Vladimir Putin and his corrupt autocratic oligarchy. Europe and especially Ukraine needs the United States support now more than ever. They don’t need one of the main candidates for President sucking up to a cold-blooded despot like Putin.

This isn’t the first time he’s flagrantly kissed Putin’s ass on the world stage. Who can forget his meeting with Putin in summer 2018 at Helsinki, where he groveled in front of him looking like he was Putin’s bitch. He has fawned repeatedly over his idol and even stated he trusts Putin more than our FBI. He’s even called for Putin to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails back during the 2016 election.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from August 10, 2018 because it illustrates perfectly the hypocrisy and buffoonery of today’s Republican party. How the hell is Donald Trump still the GOP’s candidate for President when if any of his predecessors would done what he did they would have been rightfully condemned for their actions? Wake up America!!! The orange fraud has performed all three of these actions! He should not only be barred from running from President, he should be deported to Russia so he can live in eternal bliss with his man crush, Vladimir Putin!

Can you imagine the outrage if Eisenhower said he trusted the KGB more than the CIA or if Reagan fawned over a 'strong and powerful' Gorbachev or if Obama received help wining his elections from Putin.
Modern day Republicans conveniently look away from Trump’s outrageous actions that would have gotten previous presidents universal condemnation.

Trump Is A Fraud!

Well the verdict is in and America’s twice impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, a.k.a TFG, has been found guilty of fraud in New York and fined $354 million dollars. The pre-judgement interest number boosts the amount to almost $450 million dollars or $450,000,000. That’s a lotta dough, folks! Then there’s the $83 million he has to cough up for the E. Jean Carroll defamation suit. Could it be that the orange skinned megalomaniac man child is finally facing some accountability? It sure looks like it. All we have to say is thank you E. Jean Carroll, Letitia James and the state of New York. You’ve taken Trump’s BS for many years and now you’ve finally got him. We can safely and accurately call Trump for what he is and always has been: a FRAUD! All the Republicans who still support this man are colossally stupid fools and we have no sympathy for you.

For our photo-toon today we went over to the Obama poster generator and made an image befitting of America’s biggest con man and crook. Choke on it, MAGA Morons!

Donald Trump is a fraud!
Donald Trump is a fraud!

The Clown Prince of Journalism Returns

Unfortunately, Tucker Carlson is back making news again because he decided to travel to Russia and interview Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. Now, Tuckhead isn’t with Fox News, a.k.a. Republican Propaganda Network, but he’s just trying to reestablish his journalistic credentials by trying to take on a living James Bond villain.

How did it go? By most honest accounts, Carlson failed miserably. Putin basically blathered on about his own propaganda of how Ukraine doesn’t even exist as a nation. Putin even managed to insult Carlson to his face leaving the crown prince of journalism simpering like the fool he is. Seriously, how did any Republican, or American for that matter, allow Putin have this platform to push his propaganda? News flash: we’re supporting Ukrainian democracy, not Russian authoritarianism! We have a suggestion to any Republican who thinks Putin is awesome: move to Russia! Putin wants nothing more than to end the United States of America. If the U.S. is out of the picture, he will control or influence, along with China, most of the countries in Europe, Asia and Africa. What he has done since the fall of the Soviet Union is use capitalism against us and he’s done it pretty effectively by completely buying the GOP and dividing America with a campaign of disinformation through social media, where articles with the most clicks must be the truth. Who would have thought that so many Republicans would now worship the leader of a country Reagan labeled as the evil empire. We repeat: if you think Putin is so great, move to Russia!

Finally, we wonder what would have happened if the clown prince of journalism had lived during World War II? Tucknuts probably would have yucked it up with Hitler the same way he did with Putin. What a putz!!!

If Tucker Carlson, the clown prince of journalism, had lived during World War II, we're sure he would have given German dictator Adolf Hitler the same kind of 'grilling' he gave Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.
If Tucker Carlson, the clown prince of journalism, had lived during World War II, we’re sure he would have given German dictator Adolf Hitler the same kind of ‘grilling’ he gave Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.

The Golden Calf Still Bleats

America’s twice impeached former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump, a.k.a. TFG, is still bleating to his MAGA Moron followers how persecuted he is with some of his sheeple touting him as the new Jesus. We delivered a post back on April Fool’s Day in 2017 which pretty much sums up what Donald Trump is.

Since nothing has changed about this charlatan since then, our analysis still applies: If you make under 100k a year and you vote Republican, you are voting against your own self interests and you are a sucker and a fool. Or to put it in biblical terms, you are worshiping a modern day golden calf and that calf’s name is Donald Trump.

Donald Trump - Modern Day Golden Calf
The biblical myth of the golden calf has resurrected itself in the form of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

God’s Little Puppet

Mike Johnson has only been Speaker of the House for a short period of time and it already looks like he may not be long for the job. This bible-thumper actually reached across the aisle and came up with a funding bill to avoid a government shutdown which left the raving lunatics of the GOP foaming at the mouth.

We have no sympathy for this person. He’s an open christian nationalist who wants nothing more than to turn this country into a theocracy. Not only that, he’s a creationist and believes in the rapture. Like we’ve said before, if you believe that nonsense you should be permanently banned from the corridors of power. He has openly opined that he thinks God wanted him to be Speaker. Sound familiar? George W. Bush said that God wanted him to be President and now evangelical whack jobs have produced a propaganda video proclaiming that God created TFG to be America’s ‘Caretaker’.

We think that sanctimonious Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to another little bible thumper from the ’60s: little Davey from the Davey and Goliath stop motion claymation puppet show that preached the bible to kids every Sunday morning. Little Davey, along with his dog Goliath and his holier-than-thou family shoved their religion down every child’s throat. Just watch some of these old shows, especially the ‘lost episode’ about the Polka Dot Tie. The cringe is massive. And now America has a little Davey second in line for the Presidency. May Zeus help us all!

Republican Speaker of the House and christian nationalist Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to animated clay bible thumper Davey from the Davey and Goliath show of the 1960s and even has vowed to shove his religion down everyone's throat just like Davey.
Republican Speaker of the House and christian nationalist Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to animated clay bible thumper Davey from the Davey and Goliath show of the 1960s and even has vowed to shove his religion down everyone’s throat just like Davey.

Rewind: SEGUMUCA Nation Redux

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The big news this past week is all the nineteen defendants in Georgia’s RICO case have turned themselves in and had their thugshots taken including the head thug TFG, who predictably is trying to profit off of it by offering merchandise to grift his followers. It’s been a horrible eight years since TFG first came down the escalators to announce his candidacy and the American people’s sanity has gone down the drain because of him. The petulant, megalomaniacal man-child has dominated the corporate media because the corporate media loves him. Even liberal sites cover him because he boosts their ratings. If there’s one thing that has become self-evident during the Trump era is that greed, avarice, materialism, ratings, followers and likes are the most important things in the world now, which is probably why democracy is on the brink of destruction.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from our May 17, 2016 post where we lamented our predicament with candidate Trump and unfortunately things have worsened since then. Our analysis then still rings true today. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way.  Add to the fact that conservative evangelicals now view Trump as a better role model than Jesus and we’ve got a hell of a problem on our hands. So what do we do? We’ll just repeat our final paragraph from that post for simplicity’s sake.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.
Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.

Finally . . . Justice

We interrupt our 20th anniversary retrospective for some great news. It seems that the Grand Jury in New York has chosen justice and indicted the twice-impeached, former CEO/Dictator of the United States Donald J. Trump on his illicit payments to cover up his affair with porn star Stormy Daniels. While we’d prefer he get indicted for trying to overthrow a legitimate election and inciting an attempted coup, we’ll gladly take this. Will TFG actually have to serve time in prison. Probably not, but we can always hope and dream can’t we. We’ll have to wait and see but then again we’ve become accustomed to waiting haven’t we.

We’ve altered a photo-toon from our July 21, 2017 post to show that Trump may actually have to pay the piper for once in his overprivileged, corrupt life.

For once in his overprivileged, corrupt life, twice-impeached former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump will actually have to pay the piper.
For once in his overprivileged, corrupt life, twice-impeached former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump will actually have to pay the piper.

Karipatra: Queen Of Denial

If you’re a fan of democracy then the results for the 2022 midterm elections are encouraging. We’ve waited until after the Georgia runoff election, which was fortunately won by Rafael Warnock, to comment because mostly it’s given us time to relax from the non-stop electioneering and also to see how the Republicans would react to the results. But the Democrats managed to not only keep control of the Senate but expand its influence with a 51-49 majority. The Republicans control the House but by only a few seats. The red wave that the main stream corporate media bloviated about before the election never materialized much to the embarrassment of the propagandists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. It looks like Kevin McCarthy will have his hands full trying to control the House and most pundits are doubting the GOP will do anything except investigate the nothing burger that is Hunter Biden’s laptop.

More importantly, many Trump humping, election denier candidates across the country got beat including the Big Three here in Arizona, Blake Masters, Mark Finchem and Kari Lake. Generally speaking, Democrats performed pretty well here in AZ. One notable exception is the U.S. House of Representatives. Arizona had five democratic Congressional representatives in the 2020 election but thanks to redrawn districts from the census favoring Republicans, the GOP now has six seats compared to three for Democrats. There were some very tight races which have gone into recount, but overall, the Dems held the line. Democracy has been saved . . . for now.

Of course, Ms. Lake, in true Trumpian fashion, has refused to concede and has commenced to whining, promising law suits of election fraud. We’re so sick of this former newsreader. She should just move into Mar-a-lago so she can be with her crush 24/7. We’re sure Melania won’t mind. We saw a funny meme online about the loony Ms. Lake and decided to duplicate it using our own graphics. From now on, Kari Lake will be known as Karipatra, the Queen of Denial.

In true Trumpian fashion, Arizona's failed governor candidate Kari Lake has claimed election fraud and has transformed herself into Karipatra - the Queen of Denial.
In true Trumpian fashion, Arizona’s failed governor candidate Kari Lake has claimed election fraud and has transformed herself into Karipatra – the Queen of Denial.