Archive for Let Them Eat Cake

Ryan The Rat Jumps Ship

Paul Ryan made big news recently by announcing that he will not be seeking re-election for his congressional seat, thus ending his reign of mediocrity as Speaker of the House. Of course, this is after he emphatically denied rumors he was going to resign. We’ve had nothing but contempt for this Ayn Rand acolyte ever since he was Spiff Romney’s vice-presidential choice back in 2012. Go ahead: check our archives. Now, claiming that he wants to ‘spend more time with his family’, it’s obvious that he wants to jump clear of the exploding clusterf*ck that is the Trump administration, which he supported despite weak and ineffectual statements to the contrary.

Ryan proudly claims that he’s achieved what he wanted to do so it’s time to go home. But his dubious achievement is a tax cut which will only benefit the wealthiest Americans, add 1.9 trillion dollars to the deficit and burden most Americans in the future with the bill that they really can’t afford. This from a supposed fiscal hawk who cried and whined that Obama was adding to the deficit with Obamacare and then when Republicans seized power, they immediately augment it. So between Bush’s idiotic war in Iraq and Trump’s tax cuts, we’re talking close to four trillion dollars added to the deficit by Republicans, who are supposed to be the masters at fiscal responsibility. What a bunch of hypocrites!

Paul Ryan has been nothing but a lackey for the plutocrats of corporate America. We here at the Bucket would just like to say good riddance and don’t let the door hit your greedy, feckless ass on the way out.

Speaker of the House and corporate lackey, Paul Ryan, has achieved his dream of giving plutocrats a huge tax break while burdening America with debilitating debt for decades to come, so he plans to jump off the sinking ship that is the Trump administration like the vile rat he is,

Speaker of the House and corporate lackey, Paul Ryan, has achieved his dream of giving plutocrats a huge tax break while burdening America with debilitating debt for decades to come, so he plans to jump off the sinking ship that is the Trump administration like the vile rat he is.

 

Trump’s Newspeak Lackeys

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, continued his assault on democracy and the freedom of the press with his whining about all the ‘fake news’ media outlets who have the utter nerve to broadcast his ludicrous, insipid, asinine, daily statements. And then our mendacious, duplicitous liar-in-chief has the audacity to say the media makes him look bad.

But what is really Orwellian is the fact that Sinclair Broadcasting Group has recently sent out to its news affiliates scripted news that news anchors must read; if they don’t…they’re fired. Sinclair Broadcasting Group is a extremely conservative and extremely aggressive in pushing its agenda on America. John Oliver did an outstanding piece on them last July. It’s no surprise that they’re taking the Fox News (a.k.a. Republican Propaganda Network) route and blatantly calling any news which is critical of our orange haired man-child, as being fake news.

This latest stunt by Sinclair is frightening because it shows the right wing media outlets are moving us more and more in the direction of Nazi Germany’s propaganda machine (also very right wing) which so effectively and brutally killed any kind of free speech and free press, which are cornerstones of our democracy and separates us from authoritarian regimes like Russia and China. We find it ironic that for eight years, conservative Republican outlets like Fox News vilified, mocked and derided President Obama at every turn and yet Obama let them exercise their right to free speech. He didn’t threaten them or call them names. Now that Trump’s in charge, nobody can criticize him. Of course, Fox did the same thing when ol’ Dubya was the decider (if you’re not for Bush, you’re for the terrorists). The Republicans who allow this disgrace of a presidency to continue will hopefully be bitch slapped this fall by the voters. Then, maybe, just maybe, Trumpty-Dumpty will finally have his great fall.

A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump

A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump.

Fox News: GOP Propaganda Machine

It’s hard to keep up with the flak generator that is the Trump administration, but this piece of news is straight from the DUH file.

In a bombshell, retired Army lieutenant colonel and news analyst, Ralph Peters, quit Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. In a scathing statement, Peters said “In my view, Fox has degenerated from providing a legitimate and much-needed outlet for conservative voices to a mere propaganda machine for a destructive and ethically ruinous administration.” Peters went on to lament on how the Fox anchors now shamelessly “dismiss facts and empirical reality to launch profoundly dishonest assaults on the F.B.I., the Justice Department, the courts, the intelligence community (in which I served) and, not least, a model public servant and genuine war hero such as Robert Mueller.” Wow! And this is from an ultra conservative hawk who thought the clusterf*ck Iraq War was a good idea, and called Obama a pussy. Of course, Fox News has obviously been spewing Republican Party propaganda since it’s inception over twenty years ago. This is crystal clear to anyone with half a brain. Hence, the DUH.

We’re not saying we like Peters now…far from it. It’s just that Trump and his propaganda channel are now officially so pathetic that staunchly conservative Republicans are abandoning ship or as Peters put it, he could not “in good conscience” remain with a network that “is now wittingly harming our system of government for profit.”

Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys hellbent on destroying the government for fun and profit.

Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys.

DeVos: Secretary Of MisEducation

Like every week in the Trump era, there is just an ungodly amount of shit to process. We’ve had a Rexit already this week, more Stormy Daniels news and the GOP in the House completely lost all credibility by pronouncing that Russia didn’t collude with Trump in the 2016 election. But also, Secretary of Education (or MisEducation), Betsy DeVos gave a universally panned interview with 60 minutes Saturday where she exposed her incompetence for all to see. It’s truly stunning to see such ineptitude on a national level but hey…this is the Trump administration.

Trump’s cabinet is truly a clusterf*ck of clowns – Pruitt, Zinke, Perry, Carson, etc… The scary thing is that while Trump provides cover with hourly feats of colossal stupidity, the underlings, like DeVos, are quietly dismantling our government. Like we’ve said before, the Republicans don’t want small government, they want no government.

Betsy DeVos explains that funding schools less will lead to improvement is as obvious as 2+2=5, Detroit is capital of Michigan and Donald Trump is the bestest president ever.

Secretary of (Mis)Education, Betsy DeVos, explains in elementary terms how truly incompetent she is.

Rewind: John Bolton’s Image Makeover

The exodus of personnel from the disaster that is the Trump White House continues. Rumor has it that NSA advisor, H.R. McMaster, one of the few competent people in the Trump administration, is heading for the hills. The scuttlebutt is that everyone’s favorite mustachioed, hate filled, crusty curmudgeon, former United Nations Ambassador during the Bush Administration, John Bolton, is being considered for the NSA position. Bolton is an unabashed warmonger and would be disastrous not only for the country but for the world.

Back during Dubya’s days in the White House, we had a regular feature here at the Bucket called Probing Inquiries. Bolton definitely had an image problem (and still does) and desperately needed an image makeover so he’d appeal to a wider swath of Americans. How’d it turn out? You be the judge.

This is from our January 11, 2006 issue.

Probing Inquiries

Fantasticus - BilgeBucket GazetteJohn Bolton Softens His Image

The new controversial U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, recently hired a crew to completely makeover his image from a grizzled curmudgeon to a softer, more amiable statesman. Leader of the makeover team, world renowned fashion consultant Fantasticus, who is also responsible for the stylish makeovers of Katie Couric, Condoleezza Rice and Prince Charles’ polo horse Skippy, describes the different looks considered in the makeover odyssey. The final result will surely make John Bolton the most loveable U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations ever!

John Bolton with a Michael Bolton makeover.The obvious first choice was to make John Bolton look like the other famous Bolton in America, singer Michael Bolton. We thought the long locks, smoldering eyes and sex appeal of Michael would transfer well to John. We were wrong. Next!

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Donald Trump makeover.Next!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with an Easter Bunny makeover.We decided to try to make John Bolton more fluffy and lovable and who is more fluffy and lovable than the Easter Bunny. Well this just plain frightened our test group, which was made up of mostly children. I’m pretty sure they’ll probably have nightmares for the remainders of their lives. Next!

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Tyra Banks makeoverThe makeover was going downhill quicker than Bill O’Reilly’s ‘War on Christmas’, so I called in makeover diva, Tyra Banks, as a consultant. Tyra is known for her ‘fierce’ makeovers, but this look just creeped everyone out. Next! Hurry!

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Dame Edna makeover.WINNER! We fired Tyra immediately, but she was on the right track. Who’s more non-threatening in a masculine-feminine way than Dame Edna. This look will put his fellow ambassadors at ease and bring laughter and love to the entire United Nations.

 

 

 

 

 

GOP Wants Pistol Packing Teachers

We’ve commented many times about gun control here. We’ve even created a category. This subject seems like a no-brainer to most civilized, intelligent citizens. For starters, reinstate the assault weapon ban and mass school shootings will decline. All logic points to this action.

But American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and his Republican pals continue to lick the ass of their masters, the NRA, and push for ludicrous, asinine solutions. Just this past week Trump trotted out the old “let’s arm the teachers” suggestion to widespread and deserved ridicule. Then he backtracked and suggested that the cruel media was putting words in his mouth. Then he suggested that he’d run in and save the children. This from a man who got five deferments from Vietnam, one for bone spurs. He couldn’t even protect his son and wife from rain with his umbrella. And yet, Trump would charge into a school without a weapon to attack a shooter?  Not bloody likely!

Let’s make no mistake: arming teachers is a horrendous idea. Arming students is a horrendous idea. Voting for Republicans is a horrendous idea. Modern day conservative Republicans are broken human beings and need to be removed from any kind of position of power.  And Democrats, who also feed at the NRA trough, need to start stepping up to the plate, grow a spine and start pushing for legislation against assault weapons.

And as if on cue, this just in… there’s news that a teacher in Georgia barricaded himself inside a school and fired a gun. Hey Republicans…still think arming teachers is a great idea?

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

GOP: The Government Wrecking Machine

The big news this past week was the government shutdown which showed to all how inept the Republicans are and how truly spineless the Democrats are and how truly screwed the American people are. The Republicans control the House, Senate and White House and yet couldn’t agree to anything. The Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, caved on DACA and immigration. We’ve mentioned before here at the Bucket, how we think that the Democrats and Republicans are just good-cop, bad-copping the people of America so that their corporate overlords can make ungodly amounts of money at the taxpayers expense. The latest tax bill sure benefits the rich at the expense of the rest of us. And the stock market taking off clearly indicates that Americans are beholden now to corporate interests: you better please Wall Street or else.

Of course, the Republicans are conning the nation like they’ve been since the days of Nixon; they truly put the CON in CONservative. They keep preaching that they’re the party of small government. But their actions tell a different tale. In addition to the shutdown of the government, which the Republicans didn’t really mind, just like 2013, all of Trump’s executive orders reversing the much needed regulations on industry and the generous tax bill, which pretty much kills any government income, seem to show that the Republicans don’t just want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! It’s no secret they want to privatize everything including infrastructure, social security and medicare and dismantle any government agencies which may provide protection for the average American citizen, like the Consumer Financial Protection Agency or the Environmental Protection Agency. This is a complete seizure of power by corporate America and their willing lackeys in congress who will bring down the government from the inside. Ladies and gentlemen; this is what a corporate oligarchy and fascism looks like.

The Republicans don't want small government, they want no government.

Thanks to the Republican party and American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Americans don’t have to be bothered with the burden of a democratic government and stupid things like laws and regulation.

A Touch Of Quackery

Guess what, America…we can all take a deep breath now. According to White House physician, Ronny Jackson, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump is fit as a fiddle and mentally sharp as a tack. Whew! What a load off our minds. So all those stupid things that’s he’s been saying and doing the last two and a half years are all just perfectly normal or in typical conservative Republican-speak, there’s nothing to see here folks.

But then take a look at the cognitive test that was given to Trump. A third grader could have passed the test. Discerning and naming a lion, a rhino and a camel? Sweet freaking Zeus! So does that mean a third grader could be just as effective as Trump? Considering that Trump has the emotional intelligence of a child, we say yes; the third grader could probably do a much better job than the orange haired rage monster.

Jackson also stated that Trump is in excellent health and has ‘incredible genes’ and if he had a healthier diet ‘he might live to be 200’. Really???!!! Methinks there is some quackery afoot in the White House doctor’s office. If Dr. Jackson thinks Trump is ‘healthy’, we think the good doctor should seriously resign and find another profession because there is no way we’d come to him for any kind of medical advice. We know Jackson served both Dubya and Obama, but come on… Trump in excellent health???!!! Just more bullshit from the White House.

There's quackery afoot in the White House as Dr. Ronny Jackson proclaims that since American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, knows a camel by sight, he's totally competent to be President, which causes Trump to celebrate his sanity by bombing Kim Jong Un.

There’s quackery afoot in the White House as Dr. Ronny Jackson proclaims that since American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, can tell a lion from a camel, he’s totally competent to be President.