Tag Archive for Arizona

Governor Ducey: The Teacher Troll

Arizona made headlines last week when teachers walked out of their classrooms on strike trying to get improved pay and teaching conditions. This on the heels of Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) half-hearted, perfunctory offer of a 20% raise in salary by 2020. But teachers counter that it doesn’t address other demands of the teachers like better pay for support staff, yearly teacher raises, a restoration of school funding to 2008 levels and no new tax cuts until the state per-pupil funding reaches the national average.

We mentioned before back in 2016, Ducey’s attempt to defraud Arizonans of public land to pay for education. Now, Ducey is using this offer of a raise as a blatant attempt at political posturing since he’s up for re-election this year.  Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we’ll just say he’s done jack squat in his four years. We’ve noticed on local television plenty of Ducey re-election ads touting his offer of settling the teacher strike just days after he offered the deal. Coincidence? We think not.

Not surprisingly, Arizona Republicans have started attacking the teachers, because that’s what they do. House Majority Leader John Allen, R-Scottsdale, said the strikes amount to class warfare creating “strife between the haves and the have-nots” and that taxing the rich is precisely the way to undermine economic recovery.  “I’ve never gotten a job from a poor person,” Allen added. What an arrogant asshole! Another Republican leader, Maria Sims from Paradise Valley, claimed the strikes are part of a national socialist movement (calling Joseph McCarthy). Sorry to burst your bubble, Ms. Sims. Teachers aren’t communist bastards; they just want a living wage and better working conditions.

There is some promising news for sane Arizonans. Last week’s special election in congressional district 8, which includes the old, white, conservative, retiree-from-the-Midwest bastion of Sun City served as a wake up call for the state’s GOP. Democratic candidate Tiral Hepinini lost by only five points to Debbie Lesko in a district that has gone overwhelmingly to Republicans in the past two elections. This has conservatives in this state sweating bullets. If there is indeed a blue wave sweeping the nation, with anti-Trump sentiment rising, it’s indeed possible that Democrats could actually make a dent in this state and considerably weaken the Republicans’ stranglehold (and we do mean stranglehold) on this state. A purple Arizona could very well be in the works and we’d love to see Trump supporter Doug Ducey back peddling his overpriced ice cream again instead of ‘leading’ this state.

In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.

In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.

Arpaio?! Seriously?!

In a stunner that we certainly didn’t see coming, Doug Jones beat bible thumper and teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, in a special election and will now be the first Democratic Senator for Alabama in 25 years. This will also hopefully put Moore out of the national spotlight(we’re absolutely sick of him), although he’s still got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do to the women he’s harassed.

So are what are racist, authoritarian, conservative, christian Republicans to do? Have no fear, wingnuts. Fresh from his pardoning by Donald Trump, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced that “he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering running for the U.S. Senate” in Arizona. Seriously…that’s right, folks: America’s favorite racist, authoritarian law enforcer says he may run for Jeff Flake’s vacant seat in 2018.

We thought the 85 year old Arpaio was losing it before, but this pretty much makes it official. He got thumped by Paul Penzone for a county level position, and yet he thinks he can seriously win a state wide election given his notoriety. If it wasn’t for his pal Trump, he’d be doing some time. Arizonans are sick of his schtick. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Retire already! Ride off into the sunset like a good former sheriff and leave the good people of Arizona alone. Because you know what…we’re seriously, seriously, seriously NOT voting for you!

Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he's seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him.

Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him.

Phony Feckless Flake

We’ve commented many times before about Arizona’s junior Senator Jeff Flake. Why? Well, we live in Arizona for one thing and it’s our duty and right to comment about our government representatives. We also happen to think he has Mitt Romney-esque used car salesman abilities. He was for and against gun control. He claims to be a champion of the people, and yet continually votes in favor of corporate interests. He claims to be Mr. Bipartisan, but continually votes with along party lines with his Republican colleagues. If you’re looking for a hypocrite of the first order, look no further than Flake.

Flake made a big deal about not endorsing Donald Trump for President. Even now he’s come forward stating that Republicans need to stand up to him. Of course, in true salesman fashion, he’s also plugging his new book, which we will not provide a link to because we have no doubt it’s loaded with self serving bullshit. While stating how against Trump he is, he’s voted for most of Trump’s agenda 95% of the time, including his horrendous health care bill, which didn’t pass because Arizona’s senior Senator (in more ways than one) voted against it. Flake’s behavior is pretty much the actions of a feckless enabler.

To show you how much he’s in step with Trump, here’s a statement by orange haired rage monster’s about rolling back ‘job killing’ regulations for the polluting oil, gas and coal industries:

…We’re going to get real results when it comes to removing job-killing regulations and unleashing economic opportunity

Compare them to a blurb from Flake‘s own newsletter that he mails out to Arizona constituents touting his great actions:

Arizona ratepayers and businesses shouldn’t be forced to shoulder the burden of EPA’s costly, convoluted regulations. By holding EPA accountable for its actions, we can keep our air clean without creating job-killing regulatory uncertainty.

Yes those nasty ‘job-killing regulations’, what an annoyance they are. Why not just get rid of all of them, then industry can dump their waste where ever they want and pollute the air just like China. But the point is made; Trump and Flake are on the same page, just like all the other Republicans. The GOP’s so called opposition to Trump is nothing but bullshit!

It’s no secret that Flake supports corporate America over average Americans. But he is also a big time corporate lackey, like most Republicans are, of the big polluting industries in this country. As a matter of fact, Flake has a career 9% lifetime score on the League of Conservation Voters Environmental Scorecard. So we ask Mr. Flake, what’s the point of repealing ‘job killing’ regulations if those said jobs end up killing people with the resultant pollution and poisonous wastes and by products?

Finally, Trump has launched attacks on Flake because of what he’s said about Trump in his book. Trump has announced support for nutty Teabagger patriot Kelli Ward (known by her moniker ‘Chemtrail Kelli’) in the upcoming 2018 senate race. But again, this is just political theater because Flake has sided with Trump 95% of the time like this article at FactCheck.org states. So now, not only is Flake being attacked by the Democrats, but the radical right wingers in his own party are attacking him as well.

So we implore Arizonans to send Mr. Flake back to his hometown of Snowflake, AZ, which is a truly appropriate place for this Republican to live. We certainly hope the Democrats in Arizona get their act together and put forth a decent candidate to run against this hypocritical used car salesman in 2018.

Dressed in his finest used car salesman ensemble, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake tries to sell people that he's against America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, when actually he has supported nearly everything he's done, to which Arizona voters call him on his hypocrisy and suggest he move back to his hometown of Snowflake, AZ.

Dressed in his finest used car salesman ensemble, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake tries to sell people that he’s against America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, when actually he has supported nearly everything he’s done.

Phoenix March For Science

The March for Science happened on Earth Day, April 22nd, 2017 in cities across the globe. Tens of thousands of people showed up to give support to science, which is under attack in this country by the Trump administration and right wing zealots in the Republican party. Vital government programs face devastating budget cuts because the facts that scientists discover don’t match the narrow ideology of the people who control the Republicans; the oil, gas, coal, defense, finance and banking industries and the evangelical christians.

We here at the Bucket attended the satellite march in downtown Phoenix. According to the facebook page, about 3.3k people attended. Many scientists and science enthusiasts showed up to support logic, reason and the scientific method. Although it was billed as a not partisan event, almost all of the people there were ROYALLY PISSED at the Trump administration and the Republicans in general. There were many greats signs at the rally, too. Our favorite was one carried by a local lady, which featured a picture of Donald Trump next to the words – Does this ass make my country look small? Classic!

But despite the frustration and anger of the participants, it was a peaceful rally. It gave us some hope that maybe, just maybe something will be done about these charlatans, con artists and corporate lackeys who are running the government now. Like another sign said – So bad, introverts are here…yes, even the smart, intelligent, geeky, introverted scientists and engineers, the very foundation of this country, are willing to venture outside their comfort zones and socialize to try and put an end to this mess.

A small section of the marchers in the Phoenix March for Science on Earth Day, April 22, 2017 in downtown Phoenix, Arizona. BilgeBucket Gazette staff member, Chester Einstein, is the one in the hat carrying a sign.

A small section of the marchers in the Phoenix March for Science on Earth Day, April 22, 2017 in downtown Phoenix, Arizona. BilgeBucket Gazette staff member, Chester Einstein, is the one in the hat carrying a sign.

Arizona’s Gestapo Tactics

An alarming bill was approved late last week by the Arizona Senate that shows that the fascist tendencies of today’s Republican party run from the national level all the way down to the local levels of governments. SB1142 is a bill that would almost make it a crime to protest. It states that if any damage happened during the protest, all the protesters would be held accountable and their assets seized. The wording even goes as far as saying that the organizers of the protest, even if they physically weren’t present could be arrested, charged for racketeering and their assets taken. The Young Turks had a nice analysis about it. Needless to say, this ruined our weekend.

Fortunately, there was enough of a national outcry that the Arizona Speaker of the House, J.D. Mesnard killed the bill…for now. We’ve lived here long enough that we have no doubt that the fascist Republicans in this state will try to resurrect this bill in the future when it’s politically convenient.

But there have been a flourishing of anti-protests bills by Republicans in 18 states. This gets us thinking. The Republicans have a Nazi advising Trump and Steve Bannon has made it no secret that he wants to dismantle the government. Since his blueprint for ‘success’ seems to involve Nazi Germany as a model, could a Reichstag fire type event come in the near future?

What’s scary for us here in Arizona are the words of John Kavanagh. He’s the state senator from Fountain Hills, which for you non-Arizonans, is an exclusive, hoidy-toidy community where the well-to-do congratulate each other on how great they are and look down their noses on people who don’t live there. Donald Trump gave a stump speech there. Kavanagh, a former police officer with the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey has said controversial things before. But about SB1142 he said “You now have a situation where you have full-time, almost professional agent-provocateurs that attempt to create public disorder. A lot of them are ideologues, some of them are anarchists, but this stuff is all planned. Wouldn’t you rather stop a riot before it starts? Do you really want to wait until people are injuring each other, throwing Molotov cocktails, picking up barricades and smashing them through businesses in downtown Phoenix?’’ So basically if you even think of doing any kind of a protest, the police could say that you’re an ideologue or provocateur and can just assume that the protest could become violent and bam!…you’re going to jail. Wow! Thoughtcrime!  Heinrich Himmler of the Gestapo would be proud.

Arizona state senator, John Kavanagh, does his best Gestapo officer impersonation as a peaceful protester has the audacity to practice her right to lawful assembly as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

Arizona state senator, John Kavanagh, does his best Gestapo officer impersonation as a peaceful protester has the audacity to practice her right to lawful assembly as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

Arpaio To Model Pink Underwear

While John McCain may be staying in Arizona politics for a while longer, another bastion of Arizona conservatism may be riding off into the sunset very soon; Sheriff Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio. We’ve commented before about authoritarian, demagogue Sheriff Joe and his crazy support of fellow birther Donald Trump. Now it finally appears that he’s getting his comeuppance for his racial profiling laws. Arpaio has officially been charged with criminal contempt of court and could be spending six months in prison. And of course, all of Sheriff Joe’s shenanigans have cost Arizona taxpayers millions of dollars. On top of this, his Democrat opponent in the Maricopa County sheriff election, Paul Penzone, has a lead on him in the latest polls. What poetic justice: not only will Arpaio finally be retiring from public office, he very well could become a resident of his own infamous creation, Tent City. We hope he enjoys the 100+ degree heat, his pink underwear and green bologna… oh and the undying love and admiration of his fellow inmates.

The inmates of Tent City want a pink underwear fashion show from their new resident, soon to be former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

The inmates of Tent City want a pink underwear fashion show from their new resident, soon to be former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio.

Arizona’s Crusty Old Obstructionist

We’ve commented before about so called ‘maverick’ Arizona Senator John McCain’s about face on Senate confirmation of Supreme Court nominations. Well, he recently confirmed what everyone knew; that the Republicans will continue their pattern of obstructionism if Hillary Clinton becomes President. To hell with his constitutional duty; the Republican Party comes first in America. This pretty much cements our opinion here at the Bucket that Senator McCain is well past his prime and needs to retire. Fortunately, his Democrat opponent, Ann Kirkpatrick, is hitting hard with her ads against McCain, commenting about his support of right wing wackos from Sarah Palin to Donald Trump. Will it be enough to defeat him? We’re not holding our breath. Unfortunately, most polls indicate McCain winning handily. So it appears we’ll have at least six more years of Republican partisanship with our crusty, old, obstructionist prospector senator, John McCain.

Crusty old coot John McCain promises to be agin' all of Hillary Clinton's Supreme Court Justice picks even if she picks him.

Many sane Arizonans are fed up with crusty old coot and Republican Senator John McCain’s obstructionist shenanigans and vigorously encourage his retirement from politics.

The Seven Wonders Of Cactus Corners, Arizona

And now for something completely different…

With all the depressing daily shootings that are going on, we thought we’d do something Pythonesquely different and devote some attention to summer travel and tourism. We haven’t done a BilgeBucket List for some time, so we decided to highlight our fair burg of Cactus Corners, Arizona, just in time for the sweltering 110+ degree heat. Everyone’s heard of the Seven Wonders of the World. Our little corner of the desert has some splendid attractions, well worth your tourist dollar. So, in an effort to educate the world on the awe-inspiring splendors that make Cactus Corners such a miserable hell hole, America’s trendiest suburb, here is a list of the Seven Wonders of Cactus Corners.

  • Delores Romanowski’s Five Story Compost Heap
  • The Hubcap Dinosaur Statue at Prospector Pete’s Gold Mine Ride & Fun-o-torium
  • Raul’s Sex Emporium’s Tower, which looks like a giant penis
  • The Mechanical Gila Monster on the ninth hole at J.J.’s Putt-o-rama
  • The flock of pink flamingo lawn ornaments at Cactus Trailer Park Supplies
  • The melted ice cream stain of Jesus in front of the Dairy Fairy on Prickly Pear & Ranch
  • The melted ice cream stain of Elvis next to the melted ice cream stain of Jesus in front of the Dairy Fairy on Prickly Pear & Ranch

The Sun Is Setting On John McCain

Arizona’s Senior Senator John McCain keeps losing more and more respect by the day. Recently, he made headlines by boldly claiming that President Obama was ‘directly responsible’ for the Orlando shootings. In trying to clarify his fallacious statement he completely forgot that it was George W. Bush who created the power vacuum in the Middle East by invading Iraq, which allowed not only Al-Qaeda to thrive but also allowed the ISIS movement to be born.

Then McCain turned the ‘crazy’ knob to eleven and endorsed Donald Trump. If you remember, last year Trump questioned McCain’s war hero credentials and criticized McCain for getting captured. Now, almost a year later, McCain is going to endorse the man who insulted him. This (and his stubborn refusal to vote on a new Supreme Court justice) is apparently why support for his Democratic opponent, Ann Kirkpatrick has surged in recent polls, and even has her ahead in one. Our advice to Senator McCain(like he’s asking us): you’ve had a good run, but it’s time to retire to one of your seven or eight or twenty houses you own and start shooing kids off your lawn and away from your precious gold. We have no doubt you’ll be great at it.

Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, blames Obama for the Orlando shooting and promptly endorses Donald Trump for President.

Arizona’s Senior Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, demonstrates why he should retire from politics and start a successful new career of keeping kids off his lawn and away from his gold.

 

Brewer Wants Women Back In Kitchen

We thought we were done with our review of lame AZ political figures and issues but former Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer had to open her mouth and of course when that happens, something stupid usually comes out.

Brewer said in an interview that way too much emphasis has been placed on electing female candidates, stating that “this woman thing has gotten way out of control I believe.” That’s right women; get back in the kitchen and serve your man. No wonder Donald Trump and other conservative christian Republican men love her. Up Next: Jan Brewer says that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Former Arizona Governor Jan 'Skeletor' Brewer says a woman's place is in the home serving her man and Donald Trump wholeheartedly agrees.

Former Arizona Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer announces her plans to set the women’s movement back one hundred years much to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump’s approval.