Category: Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

We’re going to end 2023 with another edition of our headlines retrospective, this time from the year 2007. We’d like to wish everyone a peaceful new year!

New Retro Virus Hits America: Millions Dressing In Bell Bottoms

Putin Throws Killer Banquet For Journalists

Bush Urges Graduates: “C’mon! Go To Iraq! It’s Fun!”

Sopranos Fans Furious About . . .

Bruce Willis Announces Next Movie: Die Already!

‘Spam King’ Sentenced To Thirty Years Of Answering Spam Emails

Local Man Raves About New Salsa Flavored Chips: “You Can Really Taste The Maltodextrin!”

Sting Thinks Name Is Silly: Changes It To Rum-Tug-Tugger

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

We’ve still got more headlines from 2006, so here they are. No crying please.

Bird Flu Hits Turkey: Canary Islands Feared Next

Libby Sez “Bush Has Been Leaking Intelligence For Years”

Bush Admits To Leaking: Now Using Extra Absorbent Depends

Tourism News: Saudis Promote Sun, Scuba Diving, Easy Terrorist Financing

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Marry By 30, Divorce By 31

Dyslexic Atheist Doesn’t Believe In Dog

Brits Reject Right-To-Die Bill: “Everyone Must Die An Excruciating Painful Death”

Hot Dog Eating Contest Winner Shockingly Not Getting Babes

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Did somebody say more headlines from 2006? Well, here they are whether you want ’em or not.

Pope Benedict Celebrates Mass With Cardinals: Bluejays, Robins Jilted

Brangelina To Adopt All African Children: Eyeing Asian Children Next Year

Madonna Adopts Brangelina

Grizzly Crime Scene Discovered: Picnic Goodies Ravenously Devoured

Recent Poll Reveals America’s Most Urgent Need – More Tori Spelling Movies

Goth Chick Dressed To Depress

Carrier Named For George H.W. Bush: Dinghy Named For Dubya

Supernanny Loses It: Takes Hickory Switch To Entire Family

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here’s even more knee-slapping headlines from 2006.

Local Kid Performs Trick While Mom Isn’t Looking: Repetition Looming

Couric Named CBS News Anchor: Promises Perkier News By 2007

No Stiff Penalties For Limbaugh On Viagra Possession

Doctors Discover Living Leads To Death

WMD Update: North Korea, Iran Looking To Obtain Taco Bell Burrito Supreme

Kissinger On Iraq: “It’s Not Vietnammy Enough Yet”

Physics News: Cats Crazy About String Theory

Socialite Buys $1000 Designer Shoes: Maintains Illusion Of Superiority

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve switched to our most prolific year, 2006. Therefore, lucky for you, we’ve increased our number of entries, some which are actually funny . . . really . . . no fooling!

Tom Jones Knighted With Queen’s Underpants

Scientists Reveal Urkel Annoyance Factor Increases Exponentially With Time

Strange ‘Watery’ Substance Falls From Sky In Phoenix Area

Apathetic Teen Wins Cell Phone: Gets 1000 ‘Whatever’ Minutes

Mike Wallace Retires: Plans In-Depth Investigation Of Strip Clubs

Bush Vexed By Iraq, Middle East, Ball Of String

Limbaugh Sez Michael J. Fox Faking Parkinsons: Fox Sez Limbaugh Faking Cognizance

Guy Wearing Stethoscope Around Neck Must Be Doctor

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve got more jive from 2005!

Local Bachelor’s Vacuum Sucks

O’Reilly Declares Victory In ‘War On Christmas’: Decorates Self With Tinsel

Gay Butcher Prefers Bone-in Chuck

Pope John Paul II’s Soul Gets Diverted To Cleveland

Americans Agree: Omarosa’s Fifteen Minutes Are Up

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve switched to the year 2005. Oh, the memories!

Bush Nominates McGruff The Crime Dog New Homeland Security Chief

50 Cent CD On Sale For A Dollar

Sesame Street Promotes Healthy Diets: Cookie Monster Now Known As Fiber Monster

In Retrospect, Rutabaga Festival Was Lame-Ass Idea

Oil Prices Up – No, Down – No, Back Up Again

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are still more from that fantabulous year of 2004. Again, no groaning, please.

Cheney Admitted To Hospital: Gets Oil Transfusion

Local Volleyball Player Digs Balls

Fox Insists You Find Arrested Development Hilarious

Stripper Complains Men Keep Ogling Her

Ashcroft’s Pants Catch On Fire During 9/11 Commission Testimony

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from 2004.

Local Worrywart Worries About Worrying Too Much

Bush Gives ‘Nucular’ Industry Glowing Report

Gibson Planning Sequel – Passion II: Jesus Christ Beyond Thunderdome

The Bachelorette To Marry In June, Divorce In August

Bush Sez “Marriages Shouldn’t Be Gay, They Should Be Miserable”

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some from that funtastic year that was 2004.

Critics Crucify Gibson’s Passion Film

Serial Killer Comic Slays Audience

Mars Rover Finds Roseanne’s Career

C-SPAN To Add Laugh Track

Local Man’s Nostrils Declared National Forest