Archive for December 27, 2018

Stephen Miller’s Fascist Hairstyles

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has taken ownership of the government shutdown all because he wants his precious border wall, which only right wing, anti-immigrant fascists want and a majority of Americans think shouldn’t be a priority. Like the stubborn man child he is, he’s hunkered down in the White House acting like the petulant megalomaniac he is, sending out pitiful ‘poor me’ tweets on Christmas Eve.

But what was really funny was when he recently sent out his Joseph Goebbels-in-training, Stephen Miller, to make the rounds advocating the border wall. In typical dickhead fashion, Miller humorlessly drove home his bullshit on news while sporting what looked to be spray on hair. Of course, the media took notice and mocked his horrible fashion sense. But maybe Stephen Miller has a future as a fashion icon for the alt-right authoritarian movement. We can definitely see a whole line of Stephen Miller hairstyles of the spray on variety for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Have A Holly, Jolly Festivus

We’d like to wish everyone a Happy Festivus!

And to Trump supporters and the Republicans who’ve enabled the lying, orange haired, megalomaniac man child these past two years…we think you know where you can stick the Festivus pole.

Happy Festivus aluminum pole

Trump’s New Babysitter

Chief of Staff John Kelly has announced that he is leaving the clusterf*ck that is the Trump administration by January 2nd, 2019. This has brought about another crisis for America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, who hasn’t been able to find anyone who wants the job. Nick Ayers, Mike Pence’s chief of staff, was considered first but he declined. Other names floated around were Trump’s Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and his own daughter Ivanka. Not even colossal sycophant Chris ‘Suckinupagus’ Christie wants this lousy job.

Enter OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, who has been named interim chief by Trump. The Mickster has shown shameless shilling skills for the moneyed elite in the past, so he’s comfortable dealing with spoiled rich plutocrats who want to have their way at any and all costs. Mulvaney is such a hypocrite he called Trump a ‘terrible human being’ just days before the 2016 election, but yet he’s decided now to take the position. But the honeymoon is over before it started for Mulvaney as Trump has already voiced complaints about him because of the video. Yes, we’re thinking that Mulvaney could be gone before 2019 even gets started.

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, shows what a hypocritical twit he is by becoming America's CEO/Dicator Donald Trump's new Chief of Staff/babysitter.

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, has been named the new Chief of Staff/babysitter for America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant child, Donald Trump.

Oval Office Follies

The big story this week was the Oval Office budget meeting between America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence and Democratic House and Senate leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We’ve had our doubts about both Pelosi and Schumer because they’re both corporatists who do their fair share of cozying up to moneyed interests and they’ve shown in the past a willingness to cave in a little too quickly to Republican demands (like many other Democrats have done in the past twenty years, i.e. the Iraq War, Patriot Act, etc…).

But we’ve got to admit that we like what we saw from Pelosi and Schumer. They made Trump look like a buffoon by getting him to take ownership of any looming government shutdown on video for the whole country to see. Meanwhile, Mike Pence sat like a bump on a log in his chair, doing absolutely zilch, zippo, nada, bupkis, diddly-squat. We love all the Pence memes that are making the rounds this past week. We like that comment that he looked like he was at a strip club. Yes, America… if Trump is impeached, then we’ll be in the stoic, ultra-conservative hands of Puritan Pence, which gives no sane person in America a warm fuzzy.

In a recent Oval Office budget meeting with Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence tries to keep his thoughts pure while America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump tries to keep his thoughts empty.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence use impressive conservative skills to outmaneuver Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi in a recent Oval Office budget meeting.

Lion Trophies

There have been a multitude of jokes about America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s offspring, especially his boys, Eric and Donald Jr. They are the epitome of spoiled rich kids. Who can forget their haunting pre-election photo with Ivanka where they channeled the Children of the Corn. Now, Donald Jr. is sweating his pompous ass off waiting for a possible indictment in the Mueller investigation and Eric continues making stupid comments, this time on Twitter like his good ol’ dad.

Much has also been said about their big game hunting in Africa and their poses with the dead animals that they slaughtered for no other reason than to prove what manly men they are. It’s this toxic masculinity (and other factors such as human over-population, pollution, and global warning among others)  that has led to half of animal species disappearing since the mid 20th century. We understand that many people in the world must hunt animals for food and basic survival. But these big game trophy hunters and especially poachers are pieces of dung. They hunt these beautiful animals just ‘for sport’; a sick thrill of watching a magnificent, unique animal die unnecessarily just so the human can feel like the master species of the planet.  Just click on the link above and take a look at the sick fucks beaming from ear to ear, posing with their kill. What the fuck!!! We need to be preserving these animals, not rushing them to extinction!

Quite frankly we’d love to see the tables turned, especially on the Donald’s progeny. Seeing Eric and Donald Jr.’s heads mounted on a tree by some lions on an African savanna would be sweet poetic justice.

A couple of noble, African lions marvel at their latest trophies; a couple of spoiled rotten, rich, American brats trying to be manly men.

A couple of noble, African lions marvel at their latest trophies; a couple of spoiled rotten, rich, American brats trying to be manly men.

Blood Red Xmas Trees

While America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, continues to receive bad news about the Mueller investigation, he’s basically swept the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi under the carpet instead of confronting his new best friend, authoritarian Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman. The Senate is currently trying to put together a bipartisan bill to force sanctions on Saudi Arabia. Will they be able to do it? Pardon our skepticism but considering their past performance these past two years, probably not.

Meanwhile, Melania Trump has received some ‘attention’ concerning her unusual red xmas trees decorating the White House. We think that maybe its an homage to the Donald’s new friendship with the Saudis…you know…blood red xmas trees with bone saw ornaments. Like Melania says, “Be best, darlink.”

The Trumps reveal their artistic blood red christmas trees with innovative bone saw ornaments in honor of their authoritarian friends in Saudi Arabia.

The Trumps reveal their artistic blood red christmas trees with innovative bone saw ornaments in honor of their authoritarian friends in Saudi Arabia.