Tag Archive for rapture

The Virus Whisperer

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump ratcheted up his audacity to yet another level of absurdity this past week. Upset that his precious stock market gains were being erased by the coronavirus, our grown-up Bart Simpson President proclaimed that things will officially be back to normal by Easter, which caused countless simultaneous facepalms by health professionals throughout the world. This shouldn’t be surprising since Trump was pretty pissed off that Hurricane Dorian changed course last year and made dear Leader look bad.

Trump’s colossal ego and narcissism is not only boundless but dangerous. His delusion that he’s somehow on equal footing as scientists and doctors produced a drastic result this past week as an Arizona man died taking chloroquine phosphate, a derivative of an anti-malaria drug cholorquine that Trump touted as being a possible cure for coronavirus, which again prompted a multitude of facepalms from science professionals. You can’t just tell a virus what to do no more than you can tell a hurricane what to do, but don’t tell that to ‘master scientist’ Trump. Apparently, he thinks he’s some kind of virus whisperer. Fortunately, Dr. Anthony Fauci, one the country’s leading disease experts and a member of Trump’s coronavirus team, stepped up and said that the virus makes the timeline not humans. We’re predicting that with that kind of attitude toward facts, truth and honesty, Dr. Fauci may not be on Trump’s team much longer.

Trump’s choice of Easter is also very telling of another group in his base that he’s trying to appease; the evangelical christians. Remember: he’s got holier-than-thou rapture freaks Mike Pence, Mike Pompeo and Bill Barr in his administration. What better symbolism could you ask for than having America reborn from a horrible scourge on Easter, the day Jesus ‘resurrected from the dead’. Trump says he even wants to pack the churches with the faithful to celebrate. As we mentioned in our last post, we have no doubt Trump will politicize the coronavirus for the upcoming election. If everything appears to be fine by Easter then he will proclaim it to be an ‘Easter miracle’ and he will appear even more like ‘the chosen one’ to his brain dead zombie followers.

Actually, we have no problem with Trumpty Dumpty’s plan of packing the churches on Easter. Just ignore stories of pastors who thought coronavirus was a hoax and died or an entire congregation who met at a church event resulting in three dozens infections. It’s just fake news. Trump knows best. If Trump’s MAGA supporters want to defy doctors and scientists and gather together and spread the COVID-19 to other sheeple in the flock, then we here at the Bucket say go right ahead. Let Jesus take the wheel. When you get sick, just don’t go to the ‘evil’ scientists or doctors for help; just hunker down and pray to God or Donald Trump to be magically cured. Yeah . . . that will work well.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it's killing and endangering innocent people, but because it's lowering his precious stock market gains.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest scientist ever, virus whisperer and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with coronavirus, not because it’s killing and endangering innocent people, but because it’s lowering his precious stock market gains.

Just Pray The Virus Away

Once again the Trump administration has trolled the world, this time with its response to the coronavirus breakout which has infected 90,000 worldwide. The stock market has also had a roller coaster ride the last two weeks, with daily swings of at least 800 points seemingly every day. We mentioned a few posts ago, we think the media is sensationalizing things just like they did in the past fifty years with the swine flu, MERS, SARS and Ebola. You know the old corporate media adage: if it bleeds, it leads; if it can scare, then we care. With every one of these breakouts, which were supposed to be the next plague, scientists were able to get things under control – using science – and a true pandemic crisis was averted. Education, prevention, proper hygiene, listening to the scientific experts and lack of panic are key elements in battling any potential medical emergency.

So who does America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, choose to be his coronavirus czar? None other than Mr. Anti-Science himself, Vice President Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence. Pence doesn’t accept evolution as fact, folks. He believes in the biblical explanation of creation and he also is one of the rapture cultists along with Mike Pompeo who have infiltrated the executive branch. He probably even doubts gravity exists. So what will be Puritan Pence’s solution to the crisis? We have no doubt that there will be a heaping helping of prayer involved. We’ve already seen evangelical nutbag Jim Bakker push his cure all elixir on his bible thumping show. Could Pence push something like this to Trump’s sheeple followers? Hey, there’s money to be made from these rubes and as we all know, Trump loves the green stuff. So, you betcha.

We’re also positive that Trump could care less about the coronavirus or its victims. His only concern is how to use it politically so he can get re-elected. So, if the breakout does actually become a pandemic, then he can blame Puritan Pence. If the breakout turns out to be like Ebola in 2014, then he can blame the media for over-hyping the situation, which he’s already doing. Either way, Trump has set himself up not to be the fall guy, in typical Trumpian fashion; nothing is ever his fault. And more importantly for the power hungry, authoritarian GOP, his path to re-election is clear and unobstructed. No wonder the conservative Republicans love him; they’ve never accepted responsibility for anything in the last sixty years, other than tax cuts to their plutocrat overlords.

Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike 'Puritan Pants' Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.
Vice President and anti-science advocate Mike ‘Puritan Pants’ Pence has been named the head coronavirus guy by America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump and promptly proclaims that only 24/7 prayer to God or Donald Trump can rid our nation of this dreadful scourge.

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.
Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Religion: Humanity’s Security Blanket

If you’ve read any post or articles on this site, you know that we’re atheists. Our world view is solidly connected to a 21st century database of logic, reason and scientific knowledge obtained by thorough scientific methods and inquiry. Adherents to religion on the other hand, seem solidly connected to 1st century, 6th century or x century databases that may have made sense in those antiquated times, but given our advanced knowledge of the universe surrounding us, are now woefully obsolete.

Proponents of religion also claim that only they have the answers to life’s questions. Inevitably it boils to certain individuals in the upper echelons of the religious organizations who want to completely control their adherents or sheeple. History has many examples of bloody wars between adherents of one ‘faith’ disagreeing with followers of another leaving nothing but death and scorched earth behind. Many religions state that God made man in his image and that God created the Earth with man as ruler over all other animals. This directly conflicts with scientific evidence uncovered in the last three hundred years which concludes that man created God (or Odin or Zeus or Iron Man. . .pick you favorite fictitious deity) in his image and has used God and capitalism to commandeer and take control of the planet for fun and profit. Even the authoritarian dictator Napoleon commented that “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” That’s why there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing out there making a killing off of the gullible sheeple. There’s also a link between religion and vaccine refusal. So people are dying unnecessarily because the religious leaders are telling their flock to trust prayer (basically thinking good thoughts) over science.

We would think that modern day humans would see religion for what it is: a bloody, soiled security blanket to give us a warm fuzzy about capitalistic, materialistic life on this planet. All you really need to live an ethical and moral life is adherence to the golden rule or the law of reciprocity, which predates christianity or any other modern religions. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. You don’t need to tithe or give money to evangelical preachers so they can buy private jets to spread the gospel or ‘talk to God’. Just be kind and respect your fellow human beings and like Jesus (who was a human being, not a god) taught, share with others and help them when you can. Most major religions have this in their dogma. We’ll even go a step further and say respect animals and nature. The fact that so many evangelical rapture enthusiasts are salivating for complete destruction of the Earth, should be proof that they are insane. Why would anyone who loved God want to ruin his ‘ultimate creation’? And how can conservatives be against conservation? Given the knowledge we’ve obtained about the universe in the last three hundred years, the most important thing a human can do is maintain and preserve life on Earth. There is no planet B, folks. Since we’ve taken over the planet, it is up to us to preserve the life on it.

We’ve talked before that the best spaceship is our own planet. We need to stop being greedy materialists and live within our means. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “Simplify, Simplify”. We need to listen to modern day scientists. They know what they’re talking about. We need to attenuate our consumption and more importantly reduce the human population using the ethical means of birth control and contraception. By doing this, we can lessen our carbon footprint, decrease our pollution and in general, return the planet to a healthy equilibrium. Ridding ourselves of the antiquated dogmas of religion and embracing environmental science will also go a long way to preserving all life on planet Earth.

Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.
Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.

Wagging The Rapture Dog

The news is out that the Democrats are pushing for Robert Mueller to testify before Congress and the Trump administration and Republicans are not happy about that. Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell tried using Jedi mind tricks in the Senate by repeatedly uttering “Case closed….Case closed.” And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and delusional man child, Donald Trump, continued his pathological prevaricating on Twitter and on his right wing echo chamber Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. But there were some other disturbing developments on the international front that show that the Republicans might take an insane, catastrophic step in order to protect Trump from the fallout of Mueller testifying.

The United States has sent warships to the Gulf of Hormuz in response to ‘troubling’ actions by Iranians. National Security Advisor, war hawk and failed walrus impersonator John Bolton, has been beating the drums for war with Iran since the days of the Iraq War clusterf*ck, which Bolton still thinks was the right call. Now the delusional Bolton thinks starting another war in the Middle East would be another smashing idea and we’re sure the defense corporations are champing at the bit for a new avenue for profit. Therefore, Bolton and Trump are trying to create a Gulf of Tonkin incident so they can start a war with Iran.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also seems to be supporting the idea of war with Iran but for a different reason. Pompeo is one of those looniest of loony evangelical christians called a rapturist. In the warped mind of these nutbags, the end times are a-coming which means that all good christians will be slurped up to heaven while the rest of us ‘heathens’ will be left to toil on Earth. One of the pre-cursors for the end times, according to ‘biblical scripture’, is that Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel, which Donald Trump did last year. Now, according to the end times mythology, a great war will occur and Jesus Christ will come again which will facilitate the ‘rapture’. Many prominent Republicans are rapturists including Pompeo, VP Puritan Mike Pence, former Teabagger darling Sarah ‘Ubetcha’ Palin, former Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, housing secretary Ben ‘Mr. Sandman’ Carson and energy secretary and brain fart expert Rick Perry. So, with a normal, logical, reasonable Secretary of State, war is usually and wisely avoided. But with this evangelical loon, conditions are being forced that would result in a catastrophic conflict in the Middle East. This would mean that biblical prophecy would be ‘proven’ correct and all the ‘good people’ (christians) will get their just desserts in heaven and all the bad people (the rest of us) will suffer in lakes of fire here on Earth.

Of course, these wack jobs fail to consider that the people who wrote the bible lived two thousand years ago and didn’t know jack about the Earth or the universe. We’ve mentioned before that religious people connect to a tiny bronze age database while scientific people connect to a colossal, 21st century database chock full of knowledge. We’ve gained so much knowledge about everything in the last four hundred years. To ignore science, scientific inquiry and scientific methods is sheer lunacy and any person advocating radical ideology based on two thousand year old babble shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the corridors of power in this country. We guarantee to all those rapture loonies that unless you’re vaporized by a nuclear blast you’ll still be here left to toil on the Earth with the rest of us.

To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to 'wag the dog' with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.
To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to ‘wag the dog’ with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.

Rewind: Delightful Dubya Deceptions

We recently commented about the unbelievable poll that stated that more people viewed George W. Bush favorably now than President Obama, despite the fact that Obama has cleaned up the colossal mess that good ol’ Dubya made here and abroad. Here’s an article from our April 25, 2004 edition which may explain this phenomenon. It seems that people were actually comforted by the Bush Administration’s lies and deceptions.

Many Americans Comforted By Bush Administration Deceptions

According to recent polls, George W. Bush’s approval ratings have improved, despite revelations of deceptions and misinformation from the White House concerning the war in Iraq by Paul O’Neill, Richard Clarke, John Dean and Bob Woodward. The polls indicate that having a lying, deceitful president leading the country comforts many Americans.

Dwight Rodman of Festerville, Oklahoma, said, “That’s what Presidents do. Nixon lied about Watergate. Clinton lied about having sex with all those women. Now Bush has lied about WMDs in Iraq. It’s just the American way. Now if someone told the truth, then I’d worry.”

Mabel Ellis of Port Drudgery, New Jersey, said, “At least President Bush doesn’t have sex with nubile young interns. I can live with a multi-billion dollar war from which we have no clear cut way of exiting and will put us in excruciating debt for years to come. But having sex is something I will not tolerate.”

Theodore M. Farnsworth IV of Crudopolis, Texas, said, “I’m the CEO of a major energy corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the environmental damage I’m doing by fracking. Four more years!”

Byron G. Caldwell of Big Spud, Idaho, said, “I’m the CEO of a major logging corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the regulations that are being relaxed so I can plunder America’s forests. Four more years!”

Mildred Dunwiddy of Backwater, South Carolina, said, “Oh, its just a little white lie. Besides, I think the biggest problem this nation is facing is that slut Janet Jackson and her malfunctioning wardrobe.”

Phil Smoots of Gator Crossing, Florida, said, “How can America be worrying about a quagmire in Iraq, when people of the same sex are getting married? I just don’t get this country.”

Jerry Scheissner of Fuddsworth, Missouri, said, “If things are going so bad in Iraq, how come we don’t see any pictures of coffins? How ’bout that, smart guy!”

Rev. Aloysius T. Terry of Piggettstown, Mississippi, said, “I’m an evangelical minister and I say President Bush is leading us one step closer to Armageddon and the Rapture. Halleluiah!”

Rewind: 3:16 To Tehran

This is our final post in our brief Coming Soon To A Theater Near You retrospective…

Here’s a theater poster from our October 28, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production 3:16 to Tehran starring George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as Mo. Yep, the conservative christian Republicans, led by John McCain are still banging the drums for war against Iran and the rest of the Islamic world. If only those Muslims would convert to christianity…

George W. Bush is on a mission from God to spread christian love to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Iran in missile form.

3:16 to Tehran: Super christian George W. Bush is on a mission from God as he and fellow neocon Dick Cheney try to convert Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Iran to christianity. Will his message of love from the book of John work in missile form? All aboard for the 3:16 to Tehran! Rated R for Rapturous.

Shows Tonight on TBN

Here’s a What’s on Tonight listing from May 31, 2006.

Shows Tonight on TBN

7:00pm Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
7:30pm The DaVinci Code: Satan’s Vomit
8:00pm That Kid From Growing Pains Explains Life
8:30pm Countdown to the Rapture
9:00pm The Making of the Omega Code: The Greatest Movie Ever
9:30pm The Pat Robertson Comedy Hour