crime – BilgeBucket Gazette

The GOP Crime Syndicate

Election day is getting closer and things are looking a lot brighter for Democrats and fans of democracy these days. The Harris/Walz ticket is tied or leading in all swing states and even North Carolina is in play now. There are very optimistic rumors that Harris even has a chance in Florida, although we’re extremely dubious and skeptical that she would carry that deep red state.

And while Harris and her human dynamo VP choice Walz are surging, the Republican candidate, twice impeached, convicted felon, megalomaniac man child Donald Trump is repeatedly stumbling and fumbling and acting like an incompetent rambling old buffoon (what else is new!). But does the corporate main stream media say Trump should be replaced like they did with Joe Biden? Of course not! Does the corporate main stream media call TFG on his countless lies and prevarications? Of course not! Because, like we’ve repeatedly proclaimed before, the corporate main stream news media is conservative and they’ll do anything possible to tilt the scales toward the Republicans. The media is already trying to swift boat Walz but fortunately veterans, like Jesse Ventura, are stepping forward and defending him. Lawrence O’Donnell succinctly and cogently presented the problem with the media last week on his show. It’s well worth a watch.

Let’s make no mistake; America is made up of syndicates. There is the military industrial syndicate. There are the energy, financial, insurance, healthcare, pharmaceutical, mining and manufacturing syndicates. Two of the most powerful syndicates are the political syndicate, which consists of the Democrat and Republican parties (third parties need not apply) and the media syndicate. What’s the common purpose of all these groups? Making money and profit at any and all costs! This is the Corporate States of America or if the christian nationalists gain control, the Holy Corporate Empire. Capitalism is king and if you don’t like it, you must be one of those evil . . . socialists! So it should be no surprise that the media is coordinating with the Democrats and Republicans to make the election cycle interesting. But with the convicted felon Trump in charge, the Republicans aren’t a party anymore; they’re a crime syndicate.

We posted a meme back on September 12, 2018 which is even more applicable today. It features Trump and his many cohorts who were convicted of crimes and we’re reposting it today. What baffles us is why the Republicans just don’t drop Trump like a bad habit. After election losses, the GOP kicked Ford, George H. W. Bush, Dole, McCain and Romney to the curb like they were rubbish. Does TFG have some kind of kompromat on the GOP which would blow the party to smithereens if the American public found out about it? Like perhaps illegally receiving money from Putin and his Russian oligarch pals? Just saying. All we know is that no truth loving American should ever trust the Republicans on anything ever again.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they're a crime syndicate. — With so many indictments of Donald Trump’s associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they’re a crime syndicate.

Rootin’ Tootin’ Trump

The Trump hush money payment to Stormy Daniels trial is entering its gazillionth week and there has much commentary about the orange megalomaniac man child’s flatulence. Yes, the twice impeached Putin fan boy is blowing vile gas from both his mouth and his anus. That’s talent, folks! From all accounts, it’s like the stockyards in the courtroom and Trump’s lawyers may be sporting gas masks soon.

Which reminds up of our post from July 25, 2020 during the heart of the pandemic and Con-a-thon 2020. It was then that Trumpty Dumpty and his darling daughter Ivanka became embroiled in a ethical conundrum by endorsing Goya beans while in the White House. That’s a no-no, but then again Donald Trump does what ever he wants, which is why he has four trials with a grand total of 88 criminal counts. We speculated at the time that maybe Trump was going to launch another failed business venture called Trump Beans. Maybe that’s why he’s been giving ten toot salutes in the courtroom: he’s just full o’ beans.

From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of 'em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy's favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat 'em. What have you got to lose. — From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of ’em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy’s favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat ’em. What have you got to lose.

Rewind: The Rockford Flies?

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Here’s the second (and final) of our old photo-toon series called Super Neato TV Trivia Rumors. The intro for this schtick was as follows:

What’s more fun these days than trivia . . .especially trivia about America’s favorite pastime. No, it’s not baseball trivia. And no it’s not trivia on the sex life of Paris Hilton. It’s the boob tube, the idiot box . . . TV trivia! Yes, and what’s even more peachy keen is this trivia may not even be true; dare we say gossip, because you know, checking sources takes a lot of time and we’ve got TV to watch. So we present to you Super Neato TV Trivia Rumors! Yes, we’re talking seconds of entertainment all in one feature.

In this photo-toon from our October 28. 2006 issue, we explore the completely not made-up authentic rumor that the original title of The Rockford Files was actually a transposition of the l and i in the word flies resulting in much more intriguing and hilarious The Rockford Flies. Can’t you just see it now? James Garner as a garbage man solving crimes with two super intelligent talking flies named Buzz and Maggie. We believe it would have been just as good as old TV classics like Mr. T and Tina, Joanie Loves Chachi and Manimal. Oh, what could have been!

Rumor has it that this show was named The Rockford Flies when it was originally conceived by Hollywood writers. The show would revolve around an easy going garbage collector on the gritty streets of Los Angeles who solves crimes with the help of two super intelligent talking flies named Buzz and Maggie. Fortunately savvy star James Gardner suggested to simply transpose the l and the i in the title and make Rockford an easy going private investigator living in a Malibu beach trailer and replace the flies with a human dad. The result was an Emmy winning classic television detective show that lasted six seasons and produced one of the best loved theme songs by Mike Post. We can only speculate what may have happened had the executives kept the original title and premise. We predict it would have challenged Mr. T. and Tina, Joanie Love Chachi and Manimal on the top of the scrap heap of awful television shows. — Rumor has it that this show was named **The Rockford Flies** when it was originally conceived by Hollywood writers. The show would revolve around an easy going garbage collector on the gritty streets of Los Angeles who solves crimes with the help of two super intelligent talking flies named Buzz and Maggie. Fortunately savvy star James Gardner suggested to simply transpose the l and the i in the title and make Rockford an easy going private investigator living in a Malibu beach trailer and replace the flies with a human dad. The result was an Emmy winning classic television detective show that lasted six seasons and produced one of the best loved theme songs by Mike Post. We can only speculate what may have happened had the executives kept the original title and premise. We predict it would have challenged *Mr. T. and Tina*, *Joanie Love Chachi* and *Manimal* on the top of the scrap heap of awful television shows.

Rewind: SEGUMUCA Nation Redux

The big news this past week is all the nineteen defendants in Georgia’s RICO case have turned themselves in and had their thugshots taken including the head thug TFG, who predictably is trying to profit off of it by offering merchandise to grift his followers. It’s been a horrible eight years since TFG first came down the escalators to announce his candidacy and the American people’s sanity has gone down the drain because of him. The petulant, megalomaniacal man-child has dominated the corporate media because the corporate media loves him. Even liberal sites cover him because he boosts their ratings. If there’s one thing that has become self-evident during the Trump era is that greed, avarice, materialism, ratings, followers and likes are the most important things in the world now, which is probably why democracy is on the brink of destruction.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from our May 17, 2016 post where we lamented our predicament with candidate Trump and unfortunately things have worsened since then. Our analysis then still rings true today. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way. Add to the fact that conservative evangelicals now view Trump as a better role model than Jesus and we’ve got a hell of a problem on our hands. So what do we do? We’ll just repeat our final paragraph from that post for simplicity’s sake.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.

Rewind: Master Dubya

The Iraq War was a complete clusterf*ck and the Bush Administration was responsible for everything that went wrong with that ill-advised war. One of the more unsettling events that occurred during the early days of occupation was that American soldiers tortured Iraqis at the infamous Abu-Ghraib facilities and then Bush Admin officials denied that they did. (Hmmm. Republicans f*cking up, gaslighting and avoiding consequences. Some things never change, eh.)

Here’s our DubToon from our September 17, 2006 issue featuring Master Dubya convincingly denying the use of torture.

“We do not condone torture. I have never ordered torture. I will never order torture. The values of this country are such that torture is not a part of our soul and our being.”

George W. Bush
06-22-2004

Master George W. Bush convincingly denies that America uses torture on Iraqi citizens. — “America does not torture…except for waterboarding, attack dogs, electrodes to genitals…”

So Much Vice, GOP Acquits Twice

The second impeachment trial of America’s former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has concluded and to no one’s surprise, he was acquitted, despite a 57-43 vote of guilty. Seven GOP Senators voted for rule of law over party joining all fifty Democrats in saying that Trump incited the riots on January 6th because . . . of course he did. We all saw it on tape!

What’s especially galling is the statement from minority leader Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell made after the vote, which takes the cake for unethical hypocrisy. He basically said that Trump was guilty of provoking the insurrection and should be held accountable. And how do we do that? You impeach the bastard! But no, no, no… Turtle Boy voted to acquit. So, in a nutshell, Trump and the Republicans got away with their malfeasance like they’ve done for the last four years. There was one time Trump told the truth in his whole time as leader of the GOP and that was when he stated he could shoot somebody on 5th Ave and still not lose any supporters. He just incited an insurrection on the Capitol of the United States of America and five people died and several more were injured . . . and he got away with it without losing supporters. And the supposed party of moral responsibility allowed him to do so. If there was any doubt that the GOP is an unethical, immoral, corrupt, crime syndicate of greedy hooligans and grifters before the trial, then all skepticism should be obliterated by this decision. They openly support authoritarian fascist actions to overthrow democracy and install permanent Republican rule.

Speaking of immoral grifters, one of our least favorite humans on the planet passed away, Boss Limhogg himself, Rush Limbaugh. We posted a photo-toon last year that pretty much sums up our feelings about that obnoxious, racist, sexist tub of goo. In short: Rot in hell, El Rushblo!

Oozing with incandescent charisma, Moscow Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell bravely acquits former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump of responsibility for inciting the Capitol riots despite proclaiming that he was guilty as hell. — Oozing with incandescent charisma, Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell bravely acquits former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump of responsibility for inciting the Capitol riots despite proclaiming that he was guilty as hell.

Louis DeASS

With the revelations by the Republican led Senate Intelligence Committee this last week, it’s been made crystal clear that the Trump campaign colluded with Russia in tampering with the 2016 election. It’s out in the open that America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump cheated his way into the White House. And now four years later, Trump is pulling out all the strings again to cheat his way back for another four years.

This time, Trump’s sabotaging one of the United States’ most venerable institutions, the Post Office. Our megalomaniac-in-chief nominated a full-fledged, flying monkey lackey in big time Republican donor Louis DeJoy to be his new Postmaster General or in Republicanspeak, the hatchet man to destroy the Post Office from the inside. DeJoy has conflicts of interest here; basically he’s invested in competitors to the USPS. So Trump putting DeJoy in charge of the Post Office is like putting an arsonist in charge of the Fire Department. In testimony in front of the House Oversight Committee, DeJoy’s even proclaimed how little he knows about the Post Office. But that hasn’t stopped this obsequious Trump lackey. DeJoy has removed sorting machines and mailboxes in an effort to disrupt mail-in balloting. The Democrats have passed a bill for emergency funding for the USPS and because of the pressure, DeJoy has stated that he won’t continue any more reductions. But he also proclaimed that he won’t restore the removed equipment. Fortunately, some post office workers are getting into ‘good trouble’, as the late John Lewis would call it. Workers in Washington state have defied orders and put sorting machines back into service. We also know that we can’t trust Trump’s new Postmaster General because the Democrats in the House Oversight Committee have uncovered how much the mail has slowed down because of DeJoy’s ineptitude.

Considering the actions taken this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Louis DeJoy would be Louis DeASS. He’s just like every other crook in the Trump crime syndicate; the list of Trump’s criminal associates just keep growing – Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, Michael Cohen, Steve Bannon, etc… Just one look at that cheezy-ass smile on DeJoy’s face and you realize that this corrupt man is one of those ‘biznuss’ assholes who tells you he’s going to screw you over and that you’ll like it, too. DeJoy and Trump are clearly obstructing the mail, which is clearly against the law. They should be dealt with like the criminals they are.

Considering his actions this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Trump's new Postmaster General would by Louis DeASS. — Considering his actions this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Trump’s new Postmaster General would by Louis DeASS.

Trump: Full O’ Beans

The clusterf*ck presidency of Donald Trump drones onward and with every passing day, absurd events occur leaving normal sane individuals banging their heads against brick walls in disbelief. Take Trump’s recent escapade with Goya Beans, a company which sells products catering to the Latino and Hispanic marketplace. Goya CEO Robert Unanue met with Trump and praised him effusively. One cannot find a more vomit inducing example of obsequiousness, even among GOP sycophants. Just watch the video in the link above. It reminds us of that poll last year when Republicans claimed that Trump’s a better President than Lincoln. Puke, puke and puke!!! Ignorance is alive and well in America, folks!

Not surprisingly, Hispanics, who don’t particularly care for Trump (he called them rapists and murderers), were outraged by the Goya CEO and started a campaign to boycott Goya. Not to be outdone, the Trump family charged into action . . . okay. . . they slithered into action. Ivanka did her best model impersonation with a can of Goya beans and Trump laid out a whole line of Goya products to give his seal of approval., The only problem is that while Trump’s endorsement of Goya may not be illegal, it is definitely unethical. In Ivanka’s case, it’s unethical and she probably broke the law. But why should that matter to the Trump Family Crime Syndicate. Ethics, smethics! The laws don’t apply to them. They’ve been doing whatever they want since Fred Sr. ruled the roost, taking no responsibility and facing no repercussions for their actions.

Who knows? Maybe Trump is planning to roll out a new business in the fine tradition of his other ‘successful’ endeavors like Trump Vodka, Trump Water, Trump Air and Trump University. Yep, we think Trump Beans is on the horizon, because when it comes to beans. . . Trump is full of ’em. Ivanka can even lend her incredible smiling and holding talents to pose with a can of Trump beans cajoling people to “Jump start your farts with my Daddy’s favorite.” Trump can even create an award called the “Ten Toot Salute” to proudly promote that his beans are winners. And pay no attention to the explosive flatulence or chronic diarrhea. That’s all a hoax! Eat the beans! What have you got to lose!

Soulless Capitalism

Facebook’s CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently came under fire for stating that he won’t fact check political ads in the upcoming 2020 election thus clearing the way for possibly more election interference from foreign agents. The Mueller report clearly stated that dubious foreign entities played a part in the 2016 election by disseminating false information on social media sites and even hacking into some election systems in Florida. To her credit, Elizabeth Warren challenged Zuckerberg by purposely running a fake news ad on Facebook to draw attention to what a serious problem this is for democracy.

We shouldn’t be surprised though. We’ve commented before about how unregulated capitalism (a.k.a. no laws to check corporations or corporate power) breeds colossal amounts of greed, avarice, selfishness and corruption. We’ve become a SEGUMUCA nation. More people than ever are trying to get rich quick using whatever possible method, even if it’s illegal. Just watch some episodes of American Greed. It’s enough to make you sick. Capitalism is nothing more than indirect cannibalism.

So Mark Zuckerberg is no different than Donald Trump or any greedy capitalist serving in his administration(Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin, etc…) or unethical Republican in the House or Senate who looks the other way while Trump commits crime after crime. They worship the almighty buck and will support all others with the same money-grubbing, materialistic mindset. These callous automatons are only interested in our data so they can make more money off of us schmucks in the middle class who do all the work. And right now, these greedy, soulless capitalists are in complete control of this nation.

Truth and justice don't matter to today's capitalists like Mark Zuckerberg; they're only interested in your data and your money. — Truth and justice don’t matter to today’s capitalists like Mark Zuckerberg; they’re only interested in your data and your money.

Rewind: Bush’s Pinocchio AG

The Trump impeachment inquiry grinds onward but last week, the 2nd worst president of our lifetime, George W. Bush, a.k.a. Dubya, reappeared in the national arena when a football broadcast showed talk show host Ellen DeGeneres palling around with ol’ Dub Dub, who supported at one time a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage, at a Dallas Cowboy’s game in luxury seats. This has sparked much controversy, some celebrities being supportive of Ellen’s new buddy and others, like Mark Ruffalo, not so supportive. Given how much we’ve griped about Dubya since 2003, we tend to agree with Ruffalo’s statements. In fact. we say Bravo!

We’ve noted before about the recent normalization of Dubya’s clusterf*cked administration now that Trump is in office. Make no mistake, Bush was awful! His administration tried to undermine rule the law just like Trump is doing now because. . . you know . . . that’s what Republicans do. Dubya lied repeatedly to the public and his Attorney General Alberto Gonzales did for Bush what Bill Barr is doing for the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House. Remember, Gonzales tried to fire federal prosecutors back in 2007 for political purposes. He also had a litany of other controversies, which eventually led to his resignation. That’s just part of the Republican’s eternal blue print to destroy government regulations (or laws!) and privatize everything for the good of the plutocrats of corporate America.

We recommend that everybody review the history of these conservative Republican con artists from the Bush era. They should be held accountable but instead people choose to forget. We like Ellen. But it’s too bad that she is so willing to look past Dubya’s war crimes, because he should be held accountable for them. But, in true conservative fashion, Bush has not apologized and will never apologize for his transgressions, because in his mind, conservatives never make mistakes and to admit a wrongdoing is a sign of weakness. Sound like anybody currently occupying the White House?

Well, in America, we guess when you’re a rich celebrity, money trumps everything else. Who cares if you tortured people and started a war on false pretenses that screwed up the entire Middle East. Let’s enjoy a football game together in luxury seats because we’re famous and wealthy. What Ellen should have done was to offer up her seat to one of the many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who lost limbs or who are suffering from PTSD. Better yet, why don’t Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and all those other millionaires and plutocrats who profited from those wars pay all the medical costs for those veterans who are now suffering. Nope; like everything else, we the people end up paying for everything while the wealthy skate away with their money without a care in the world and without accountability.

Here’s photo-toon featuring Dubya and Fredo ‘Pinocchio’ Gonzales from our June 26, 2007 issue.

President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate's investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year. — President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate’s investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year.