Archive for From The Editor

Obama Made America Great Again

As Barack Obama’s term as the 44th President of the United States winds down to it’s last days and the dawn of the Trump era of corrupt corporate fascism begins, we’d like to offer our thanks and appreciation to President Obama.

He ascended to office back in 2009 with howls of derision from crybaby Republicans and hopes that he would fail. America was stuck in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan. The economy was reeling because of the failed policies of the Bush administration and the repeal of the Glass-Stegall act by both Bill Clinton and the Republicans. Despite bending over backwards to appease the crybaby Republicans, the GOP just wouldn’t do anything to support the President and that includes fighting tooth and nail to make sure that even the poorest Americans don’t have access to affordable healthcare. But Obamacare became a reality and millions now can actually see a doctor when they get sick. He also lessened our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan and he actually eliminated America’s greatest threat, Osama Bin Laden, much to the chagrin of jealous Republicans. Please review our archives for more details of Republican obstructionism.

Obama achieved many accomplishments during his two terms in office. We’ll just list the top ten highlights in this post, but they’re listed in depth on other pages like this one (which lists 400). Washington Monthly lists 50 here. In summary, thank you Barack Obama: you made America great again.

  • Passed Healthcare Reform so millions of uninsured Americans can afford coverage
  • Rescued the economy from the Great Recession with 15.5 million jobs added, unemployment down to 4.6% and reduced the deficit from 9.8% GDP in 2009 to 3.2% GDP in 2016.
  • Eliminated the world’s #1 terrorist Osama Bin Laden
  • Reduced America’s military involvement in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan
  • Negotiated a deal to block Iran’s nuclear weapons development and submit to inspections
  • Passed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform act to re-regulate the financial sector because of the disastrous policies that created the Great Recession
  • Established and protected Net Neutrality
  • Improved America’s image abroad after George W. Bush’s disastrous administration alienated many of the United State’s allies
  • Strengthened civil rights for all Americans including the LGBTQ and non-religious communities
  • Normalized relations with Cuba after more than fifty years of a failed isolationist policy
Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.

Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Festivus

We’d like to wish everyone a Happy Festivus!

And to Trump supporters…we think you know where you can stick the Festivus pole.

Happy Festivus aluminum pole

 

Takin’ A Break

While American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, assembles his cabinet from hell, we’re taking a little reprieve. Eighteen months of Con-a-thon 2016 has left us exhausted and we need to recharge our batteries a little. We recommend everyone do the same. We’re going to need a lot of energy to deal with the enormous loads of crap that’s going to be coming down the pike in the near future. We’ll be back soon with our humorous take on Trump’s cabinet picks. Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!

Gone Fishin' - Be Back Soon!

We’re taking a break America. We’ll be back real soon.

Rewind: America Chooses Insanity…Again

We’re shocked and in mourning for a sane, intelligent America. Words escape us at the moment so we’re reprinting an article from when America chose a similar path of insanity back in 2004 and re-elected George W. Bush. Yeah…that turned out well didn’t it. One things for sure; conservative Republicans never learn.

This article is from our November 7, 2004 post-election issue.

America Speaks: “51% Of Us Are Fucking Idiots!”

America went to the polls last week and re-elected George W. Bush as president even though he’s started a costly war on false premises with no exit strategy, plunged the nation into tumultuous debt, rolled back numerous environmental regulations in favor of industry, presided over an economy that has lost almost a million jobs, underfunded the ‘No Children Left Behind’ program, misled the nation about the cost of his healthcare bill which does nothing to alleviate high costs and performed anemically in all three televised debates.

Bush supporters spoke out and explained why they voted for him. Dale Gilman of Empty Noggin, Georgia, said, “I voted for him because he’s the one I’d rather drink a beer with. That’s my only criteria for president. I’ll have to invite him over to my trailer for a beer one of these days. It’s not quite the country club he’s used to, but I think my gun collection adds a certain redneck ambiance.”

Betsy Moeller, of Cornshoot, Ohio, said, “I was undecided until the very end, but what made me vote for the President was that he’s just so moral. Even when he lies to us repeatedly, he’s just so moral.”

Kirby Tucker, of Cracked Nut, North Carolina, said, “All I knows is I don’t want no wolves to catch me and eats me.”

Durwood Dunndoody, of Oozing Bed Sore, Texas said, “The big issue of this campaign was gay marriage. No doubt about it. Thank God, the President is going to make a stand agin’ those hell bound fruitcakes. They’re worst than the terrorists you know.”

Dwight Stevenson, of Ostrich Neck, Oklahoma, said, “I know the president has made some mistakes, but he’s a known quantity. I’m comfortable with his ineptitude.”

Rev. Fred Campbell, pastor of the Fifth Evangelical Church of the Backwoods in Dunceville, Tennessee, said, “Praise be to God! The rapture is so close I can smell it!”

Dave and Karen Lydell, of Dullardton, Iowa, said, “We believe in secretive Orwellian government. We completely trust President Bush to do what’s right, because it’s really none of our business to know or question what they’re doing. We don’t mind if our government monitors our every movement. It’s a small price to pay for freedom.”

Kerry supporters expressed extreme shock and disappointment. Mark Barry, of Tempe, Arizona, said while banging his head with a frying pan, “This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!”

Donna Beacham, of Salem, Oregon, said while booking a flight to Vancouver, Canada, “The choice was so obvious. It’s like we’re speeding for the edge of a cliff in a gas guzzling hummer, and the passengers vote to drive off. Un-fucking-believable!”

College student, Craig Kaster, of Santa Bonita, California, said, “I’m so voting for that Kerry dude. What? The elections were last week. Oh man! I like so spaced that off.”

Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden, said. “This is great! Al-Qaeda will get stronger, America will go bankrupt and I’ll get to live four more years. That chimp Bush is playing right into my hands. Allah Akbar!”

Happy 240th Birthday America!

Flag waving on Independence Day.

Happy Independence Day!

Happy Festivus To You

And so we’re offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times
Many ways, Happy Festivus to you

That even goes for you, too,  Bill O’Reilly!

Happy Festivus aluminum pole

Flouting Godwin’s Law

At the risk of flouting Godwin’s Law, we’ve noticed how far to the right the Republican party has traveled over the past twenty years; specifically in the years after Dubya left office and with the rise of the Teabaggers. Now that Donald Trump has started to spew forth truly hateful rhetoric in this farce of an election called Con-a-thon 2016, comparisons to the NSDAP party(Nazis) of 1930’s Germany are not only inevitable, but necessary. Make no mistake, it’s not just Trump who believes this filth. Every Republican candidate believes it as well, especially Rubio and Cruz, who both have said some vile, nasty unchristian things toward immigrants, foreigners, gays, women, and non-christians. Although every single high ranking Republican condemned Trump for his words, they would absolutely vote for him and support him in the general election. Yep, Trump is the heart and soul of the current Republican party and it’s pretty ugly.

What grinds our gears though, is when right wing blowhards violate Godwin’s by bloviating and showing their ignorance by comparing Obama to Hitler. This is not only laughable but blatantly incorrect. History shows that the leaders of the NSDAP party were overwhelmingly right wing conservatives not leftists (For an excellent, informative read try Richard Evans’ Third Reich trilogy: The Coming of the Third Reich; The Third Reich in Power; and The Third Reich at War). They had a well oiled propaganda machine that spewed forth hateful rhetoric about minorities and foreigners who would serve as convenient scapegoats for all national maladies. They were against gays, democratic socialists (they would have killed Obama), immigrants, and unions. Women were second class citizens who would only be useful to provide further citizens for the nation. They promoted eternal warfare and invoked nationalism to incite citizens to join the military. They pushed for a strong military and were very friendly to corporations which fueled the military industrial complex.  They would regularly stoke fear in the hearts of the citizenry by claiming the aforementioned scapegoats were going to ruin their nation. They would regularly stifle opposing viewpoints by announcing that anyone who disagreed were enemies of the state and should be eliminated. Hmmmm…notice any similarities? We think Americans must take notice, (Godwin’s Law be damned) and be very concerned about this 21st century neocon Republican party that, according to its propaganda, wants to ‘make America great again’ just as a certain right wing conservative fascist party wanted to make Germany great again in the 1930s.

The modern Republican Party has some eerie and frightening similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany, a.k.a. the Nazis.

The modern Republican Party has some eerie and frightening similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany.

Peace

 

The Eiffel Tower in Paris France.

Vive la France!

Salk, Hero; Shkreli, Zero

How about that Martin Shkreli, huh? What a piece of work he is. In case, you don’t know, Martin Shkreli is the wunderkind CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals who recently made every sane person’s list of most hated man in the world recently by raising the price of a life saving drug Daraprim from $13.50 to $750 per pill. Yes, you read that right… $750 per pill.

And now poor little rich man is mad at Bernie Sanders because Mr. Shkreli wanted to donate to Sanders campaign and Sanders wisely rejected the donation. According to Shkreli, he is so mad at Sanders that he could punch a wall. Ahhhhh! Poor wittle baby!!! Well, I think it’s safe to say that there are many Americans who would like to punch Mr. Shkreli’s greedy, smug little face into oblivion.

Shkreli could learn a lot about ethics from Dr. Jonas Salk. Salk discovered the vaccine for polio and instead of filing a patent, which could have made him a gazillionaire, famously said “There is no patent.  Could you patent the sun?”. He had no desire to profit personally but instead wanted the vaccine distributed as widely as possible in order to cure as many people as possible of this dreaded disease. Of course, in this age of greed and profits at any and all costs, Dr. Salk’s actions are scoffed at by most modern day doctors and scientists, who seem to support the idea of putting profits before people. This way of thinking seems counter not only to the Hippocratic Oath (“I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person’s family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.“) but also to basic christianity, which this nation supposedly has claimed itself to be.

Health care for humans and even our pets has become ridiculously expensive. What’s needed is regulation for the pharmaceutical and medical industry so prices remain affordable to every American, not just the rich. But people keep electing people to Congress who are against any kind of regulation (a.k.a Republicans). One thing is for certain; health care for profit is a bad idea and one that needs changing. Either that, or say hello to more assholes like Mr. Shkreli with their $750 pills.

Dr Jonas Salk is a hero and Mr. Martin Shkreli is a zero.

Mr. Martin Shkreli and his price gouging brand of health care has a long way to go to if he wants to have the same status as Dr. Jonas Salk.

The Republicans’ Toxic Masculinity Problem

The Republicans’ stupid has been coming fast and furious lately…it’s been hard for us to keep up. But we’ve got to comment on Jeb Bush’s statements following the school shootings in Oregon last week. In an interview following the tragedy, ‘compassionate conservative’ Jeb stated that you know ‘Stuff happens’. Can’t you just feel the sympathy oozing from his pores? Just the latest in our corporate lackey politicians licking the gun barrels of the NRA, the weapons industry and the military industrial complex. Because you know you can’t possibly be a man unless you have a gun and of course, as in all things manly, you’ve got to have either a big gun or a lot of them.

There’s a new buzzword that’s been making the rounds lately called ‘toxic masculinity’ and this catch phrase fits today’s gun culture perfectly.  Since December 2012, we’ve had 990 mass shootings. When you care more about a gun than living beings, that’s a sign of a sick society. Our spineless politicians should stand up to the gun lobbyists and say enough is enough. It’s incredible that Republicans are so myopic that they’re still focusing on the 4 lives lost at Benghazi and not the 1249 people lost to gun violence in the past three years. It’s time for Americans to vote these incompetents out of office. If our elected officials won’t take the necessary steps to make this country safer, then maybe it’s time for new elected officials.

GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that 'stuff happens' while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval.

GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that ‘stuff happens’ while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval.