Tag Archive for corrupt

Louis DeASS

With the revelations by the Republican led Senate Intelligence Committee this last week, it’s been made crystal clear that the Trump campaign colluded with Russia in tampering with the 2016 election. It’s out in the open that America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump cheated his way into the White House. And now four years later, Trump is pulling out all the strings again to cheat his way back for another four years.

This time, Trump’s sabotaging one of the United States’ most venerable institutions, the Post Office. Our megalomaniac-in-chief nominated a full-fledged, flying monkey lackey in big time Republican donor Louis DeJoy to be his new Postmaster General or in Republicanspeak, the hatchet man to destroy the Post Office from the inside. DeJoy has conflicts of interest here; basically he’s invested in competitors to the USPS. So Trump putting DeJoy in charge of the Post Office is like putting an arsonist in charge of the Fire Department. In testimony in front of the House Oversight Committee, DeJoy’s even proclaimed how little he knows about the Post Office. But that hasn’t stopped this obsequious Trump lackey. DeJoy has removed sorting machines and mailboxes in an effort to disrupt mail-in balloting. The Democrats have passed a bill for emergency funding for the USPS and because of the pressure, DeJoy has stated that he won’t continue any more reductions. But he also proclaimed that he won’t restore the removed equipment. Fortunately, some post office workers are getting into ‘good trouble’, as the late John Lewis would call it. Workers in Washington state have defied orders and put sorting machines back into service. We also know that we can’t trust Trump’s new Postmaster General because the Democrats in the House Oversight Committee have uncovered how much the mail has slowed down because of DeJoy’s ineptitude.

Considering the actions taken this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Louis DeJoy would be Louis DeASS. He’s just like every other crook in the Trump crime syndicate; the list of Trump’s criminal associates just keep growing – Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, Michael Cohen, Steve Bannon, etc… Just one look at that cheezy-ass smile on DeJoy’s face and you realize that this corrupt man is one of those ‘biznuss’ assholes who tells you he’s going to screw you over and that you’ll like it, too. DeJoy and Trump are clearly obstructing the mail, which is clearly against the law. They should be dealt with like the criminals they are.

Considering his actions this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Trump's new Postmaster General would by Louis DeASS.
Considering his actions this summer, a more appropriate moniker for Trump’s new Postmaster General would by Louis DeASS.

Trump: Full O’ Beans

The clusterf*ck presidency of Donald Trump drones onward and with every passing day, absurd events occur leaving normal sane individuals banging their heads against brick walls in disbelief. Take Trump’s recent escapade with Goya Beans, a company which sells products catering to the Latino and Hispanic marketplace. Goya CEO Robert Unanue met with Trump and praised him effusively. One cannot find a more vomit inducing example of obsequiousness, even among GOP sycophants. Just watch the video in the link above. It reminds us of that poll last year when Republicans claimed that Trump’s a better President than Lincoln. Puke, puke and puke!!! Ignorance is alive and well in America, folks!

Not surprisingly, Hispanics, who don’t particularly care for Trump (he called them rapists and murderers), were outraged by the Goya CEO and started a campaign to boycott Goya. Not to be outdone, the Trump family charged into action . . . okay. . . they slithered into action. Ivanka did her best model impersonation with a can of Goya beans and Trump laid out a whole line of Goya products to give his seal of approval., The only problem is that while Trump’s endorsement of Goya may not be illegal, it is definitely unethical. In Ivanka’s case, it’s unethical and she probably broke the law. But why should that matter to the Trump Family Crime Syndicate. Ethics, smethics! The laws don’t apply to them. They’ve been doing whatever they want since Fred Sr. ruled the roost, taking no responsibility and facing no repercussions for their actions.

Who knows? Maybe Trump is planning to roll out a new business in the fine tradition of his other ‘successful’ endeavors like Trump Vodka, Trump Water, Trump Air and Trump University. Yep, we think Trump Beans is on the horizon, because when it comes to beans. . . Trump is full of ’em. Ivanka can even lend her incredible smiling and holding talents to pose with a can of Trump beans cajoling people to “Jump start your farts with my Daddy’s favorite.” Trump can even create an award called the “Ten Toot Salute” to proudly promote that his beans are winners. And pay no attention to the explosive flatulence or chronic diarrhea. That’s all a hoax! Eat the beans! What have you got to lose!

From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of 'em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy's favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat 'em. What have you got to lose.
From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of ’em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy’s favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat ’em. What have you got to lose.

The Derp Doctors

Last week, Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, trotted out two famous television doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, to spew forth reasons why America should open up the economy despite nationally, being nowhere close to flattening the curve of the coronavirus pandemic. Both doctors, surprisingly enough, got their big break from the queen of all media Oprah Winfrey. Staff member Chester Einstein has always been a huge fan of Ms. Winfrey, but when it comes to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, he’s reduced to twiddling his lips. Quoting Chester, “These guys are clowns!” And from what these TV physicians said last week, we’re inclined to agree. As a matter of fact, we think they’re Oprah’s two biggest mistakes.

First, Dr. Phil. We’ve always thought his folksy prescriptions for living a better life were a bit reminiscent of a snake oil salesman. We even created a BilgeBucket list of Dr. Phils folksiest pieces of advice bullshit for improving your life. We’re particularly fond of ” If you can con Oprah into thinking you know something, start pricing solid gold houses .” Remember, she was hoodwinked by author James Frey. Anyway, Dr. Phil started making ill-advised and completely inappropriate comparisons of COVID-19 deaths to swimming pool, auto accident and smoking deaths. He stated basically that people die all the time, why not just open up the country.

Dr. Oz made a similar tone deaf argument stating that we need to open up schools as soon as possible, saying that a 2-3% death rate for children might be considered acceptable. Really!!!??? This quack has already been backpedaling on his comments about hydroxychloroquine. Now this blubbering bonehead, along with Dr. Phil are moonwalking more than Michael Jackson. One thing’s for sure: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are now America’s Derp Doctors. Trust them at your own risk, America.

Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America's Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.
Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America’s Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.

MÆGAMORONS: They Need Manicures!

We’re still shaking our heads at the stupidity of the MÆGAMorons or Teabaggers 2.0 and their insipid open up the country protests, despite the still rising number of cases of COVID-19 across the country and the world. The reason: they miss getting haircuts and manicures. These idiots, who’ve prided themselves that they collected enough rations to survive for years in the coming apocalypse, can’t make it a month on moderate social distancing. This shutdown isn’t to take away our freedoms; it’s for the safety of all Americans so we don’t get this nasty disease which currently has a 7 percent death rate worldwide. Like we stated in our previous post, should we protest when the weather service issues a tornado warning. It’s almost hurricane season; should we just ignore hurricane warnings because they infringe upon our freedoms for a while. This shutdown isn’t permanent, folks. If we can keep a lid on things until June, there’s a good chance the second wave, which will be coming, won’t be quite so bad.

But nooooooooo! States like Georgia and Michigan have already started to open things up. People flocked to beaches in southern California. We just hope that if these people do get sick, they won’t bother to go to the hospital. Just let your local Republican know that you gave your life for the economy and we’ll sure they’ll remember your sacrifice.

MÆGAMorons: Goddamn it! They need manicures!
MÆGAMorons: Goddamn it! They need manicures!

Trump Supporters: Bat Shit Insane

In our previous post we commented about America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump and his mind boggling, head spinning pivots on authority for opening up the coronavirus during the COVID-19 pandemic. One day he says he has authority, the next day he says the governors have authority and then the day after that he encourages civil war by urging his brain dead troglodyte followers to LIBERATE their respective states.

Yes, lets talk briefly about these bat shit insane boneheads who don’t like being told to follow safety precautions to save their own lives. It’s basically the stupid Teabagger movement redux. The corporate media is doing the same thing they did ten years ago – a small group of idiots, armed to the teeth, band together and protest common sense and the corporate media foams at the mouth and gives them top story coverage. That’s because there are some insidious right wing conservative groups behind the lock down protests with solid connections to the anything-for-profit media. In contrast, tens of thousands of people have peacefully and non-violently protested the vile, oppressive policies of the Trump administration and the Republicans and the corporate media gives them barely a passing mention. Un-f*cking-believable!

But the stupidity of these MÆGAMorons is off the charts on the bat shit insanity meter. These shutdown orders are to save your lives not to inconvenience you. What’s next? These idiots will protest taking shelter during a tornado warning because it violates their constitutional freedom. There were even signs among the protesters that proclaimed “My body, my choice.” But yet these same assholes are perfectly fine with the government telling a woman what to do with her uterus. What colossal dumbass hypocrites! These people are actually choosing to be exposed to a debilitating disease which may kill them or kill their loved ones; all in order to maybe bump the stock market up a few points and keep our plutocratic overlords wealthy. Un-f*cking-believable!

But then Las Vegas mayor Carolyn Goodman topped all the stupid meters by suggesting a Hunger Games type scenario where all the casinos open up and the ones who have the least amount of COVID-19 cases, win. Ahhh! The wonderful, magical free market! We’re getting tired of saying un-f*cking-believable so we’ll just say this: when it comes to the bat shit insane MÆGAMorons versus the coronavirus – we’re rooting for the virus. Natural selection, take them away!

A bat shit insane Trump supporter or MÆGAMorons proudly defies orders to take shelter from a killer tornado to preserve his constitutional freedom.
Trump supporters or MÆGAMorons have made it clear that they will not tolerate any ‘guvment’ orders which may violate their constitutional freedom even if it’s to save their moronic, bat shit insane lives.

Trump: Bat Shit Insane

Another day, another bat shit insane action by America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump and his army of mindless sycophants. This time, Trump performed head revolutions worthy of the demon from The Exorcist. At the beginning of last week, Trump proclaimed that the ultimate authority laid with him in the reopening of America’s businesses, in shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic currently ravaging the world’s human population. This predictably produced much backlash from people who like the Constitution, law and order, democracy, science, logic and reason. Like Dr. Fauci had said previously, Trump just can’t tell the virus when it has to stop; we don’t set the timetable. So, on this past Thursday Trumpty Dumpty made an announcement stating the ultimate authority on reopening the economy should lie with the governor of each individual state.

You would think that Trump thumpers, being states rights advocates and all that, would have rejoiced. But nooooooooo! Reminiscent of the teabagger movement from ten years ago, armed idiots took to the streets on Friday in states such as Michigan, Ohio and Kentucky proclaiming loudly to all that they will not follow shutdown orders; that it violates their constitutional rights. To make matters ridiculous, our megalomaniac dear Leader tweeted for these ‘very responsible people’ to LIBERATE their respective states, effectively nullifying his statement of the previous day. These aren’t the actions of a level headed, clear minded, logical leader. These are the actions of a bat shit insane, narcissistic asshole who has no regard for human life.

There has been more than 40,000 lives lost in the last two months due to COVID-19. Our leaders should be taking this seriously. The goal should be reopening the country when we have proper testing available so more people won’t fall victim to the virus. But what does Florida governor Rick DeSantis do? He reopens beaches around Jacksonville while Florida is still getting slammed by the virus. The conservative Republicans values have been exposed for all to see and. . . surprise, surprise. . . the only thing they care about is money, wealth and power.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates the bat shit insanity that has endeared him to his equally bat shit insane followers.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates the bat shit insanity that has endeared him to his equally bat shit insane followers.

The Gods of Greed

The coronavirus pandemic is still wreaking havoc on the human population across the planet with the death rate at close to 6% globally. The United States now leads the world in coronavirus cases by a large margin with over 500,000 cases and in deaths with over 21,000. Not only has COVID-19 exposed the incompetence of the Trump administration, but it’s revealed the true abhorrent nature of right wing propaganda media outlets like Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, and has destroyed the myth of a strong economy that American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has touted since day one of his clusterf*ck of a presidency.

Trump has taken over the media since the coronavirus outbreak and on a daily basis shown that he is a truly horrible, tone deaf, uncaring heel. He openly has pushed for the use of hydroxychloroquine as a possible cure for COVID-19 despite medical evidence to the contrary. He has openly tried to gaslight the public in saying that he was always concerned about the coronavirus pandemic when he clearly mocked the media for touting its danger back in January and February, calling it ‘the next democratic hoax’ and stating that the virus will go away by April. (Editor’s note – we were skeptical back then, too – but at least we’ll admit we underestimated the original situation). In typical Trumpian fashion, he has blamed everyone but himself. His daily briefings are nothing more than political rallies where he crows about what a fantastic job he’s doing and that his ratings are higher than ever. He even brought out the My Pillow guy to prop him up. In Trump’s warped mind, over 21,000 (that’s seven 9/11s, folks) deaths in a two month span is a good thing and apparently we should congratulate him. Remember when he tweeted in 2014 calling for Obama to resign because of his handling of Ebola which resulted in two American deaths. No hypocrisy there, eh?

Fox News has also been doing its part in the gaslighting of America, too. When the pandemic first broke back in February, they openly called it a hoax and nothing to worry about. Twenty-one thousand American deaths later, they’re walking back their comments like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk. Trump bootlicker extraordinaire Sean Hannity even had the gaul to say that Fox has always been concerned about the coronavirus, conveniently forgetting that there are video records showing the contrary. Fortunately, they’re getting sued for spreading lies and misinformation to the American public about coronavirus. Will justice be served and Fox be driven into the ground? We can only hope, but like John Oliver recently revealed on his excellent show, there are more bat shit insane right wing networks like OAN waiting in the wings to take Fox’s place.

The true emptiness of our capitalistic society has also been exposed with this pandemic. People have been trying to make boatloads of money off the shortages of paper products from the panic buying last month in the very definition of disaster capitalism. The stock market has lost much of its gains of the Trump era despite billionaires pumping money into the voracious, insatiable maw of Wall Street. Pundits like tin foil hat king Glenn Beck have even put forth notions that people should sacrifice themselves in order to save the stock market. Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin has even suggested that people are going to die anyway, why not sacrifice yourself for the stockholders of America. And somehow, disgraced former Fox News propagandist and self-proclaimed history detective Bill O’Reilly has appeared back on the air and has been blathering the same kind of thing as Johnson saying that the deaths have been people who ‘were on their last legs anyway’. What a compassionate conservative christian!

That’s where we are, folks; our leaders and right wing media pundits are actually suggesting we lay down our lives for profit. For those christians out there, is this what Jesus would do? With the coronavirus pandemic, we now know that to the Republican party, certain people in America (a.k.a. the non 1%ers) just don’t matter and they should sacrifice themselves on the altar of capitalism in order to appease the Gods of Greed; the capitalistic overlords on Wall Street and plutocrats of corporate America.

The Gods of Greed: In order to save his precious stock market while simultaneously improving his all-important TV ratings, American CEO/Dictator and top notch medical professional Donald Trump and his horde of sycophantic Republican lackeys try to convince the American populace that granny and gramps must sacrifice themselves to the coronavirus pandemic on the altar of capitalism in order to save the lives of our greedy corporate overlords and the avaricious plutocratic gods on Wall Street. Rated R for Rapacious.
The Gods of Greed: In order to save his precious stock market while simultaneously improving his all-important TV ratings, American CEO/Dictator and top notch medical professional Donald Trump and his horde of sycophantic Republican lackeys try to convince the American populace that granny and gramps must sacrifice themselves to the coronavirus pandemic on the altar of capitalism in order to save the lives of our greedy corporate overlords and the avaricious plutocratic gods on Wall Street. Rated R for Rapacious.

GOP Ventriloquist Theater

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s revenge vendetta is still going strong following his sham acquittal during his impeachment ‘trial’ in the Senate. Now, our orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House is using mafioso tactics using the Department of Justice as his muscle to enforce whatever the Don wants.

Chief among the controversial, authoritarian tactics is the brow beating of prosecutors to get his pal and major conehead Roger Stone a reduced sentence for seven counts of lying to Congress and witness tampering. The original prosecutors suggested a seven to nine year sentence, but thanks to Trump’s rage tweeting and Attorney General Bill Barr’s intervention, Stone got just a forty month sentence. Trump’s also pardoned several high profile, white collar criminals such as former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, junk bond king Michael Milken, tax cheat and Rudy Giuliani pal Bernie Kerik and Medicare fraudster Judith Negron.

What’s even more dubious is the political theater performed by the Trump administration trotting out Bill Barr to act like a put upon Attorney General who has, gosh darn it, just about had enough, to which master ventriloquist Trumpty Dumpty dismissed the criticism stating that he has a ‘legal right’ to meddle in DOJ cases. This ventriloquist act reminds us of the crap Cheney did with Dubya back during the Bush administration (you know Cheney was pulling the strings during the Bush administration). This lame ass performance is fooling only sycophantic Republican senators like Lisa Murkowski, Lamar Alexander and Susan Collins, who are convinced that Trump has learned his lesson and will be a good boy from now on. Alexander is not running for re-election and Murkowski’s seat isn’t up until 2022. But we’re hoping that the good citizens of Maine have learned their lesson and will choose to send the oft ‘concerned’ and addled Collins to a retirement home come this November.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as 'concerned' Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as ‘concerned’ Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.

They’ll Be Dancing…Dancing On His Grave

In addition to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s vendetta rampage following his ‘acquittal’ by the spineless Republicans sans Spiff Romney, Trump also found it fitting to give a presidential Medal of Freedom to none other than Rush Limbaugh, a.k.a. Boss Limhogg, who recently announced he had advanced lung cancer, most probably due to his lifelong love of smoking cigars. The Medal of Freedom is normally bestowed upon “individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors,” What the hell was El Rushblo’s contribution to American society, you may ask? Yes, he did do charitable work for cancer and veterans. That’s commendable. But basically, he’s provided forty years of hate-filled diatribe that has contributed much to the political chasm that divides this country today and the reason we’ve got an orange-haired, authoritarian, man child asshole in the White House.

Limbaugh’s transgressions are legion. We used to have a regular feature here from ’03-05 called Rush Watch where we highlighted some of his vileness in photo-toon form, but even we grew sick of his never ending bullshit. Staff member Chester Einstein used to listen to his radio broadcasts and watch his tv show in the early 90s, but stopped when El Rushblo continuously and ruthlessly mocked the Clintons, even Chelsea who was only a teenager at the time. He also picked on Amy Carter, too(see third link in our list below). But then mocking and bullying teenagers is par for the course for today’s manly man conservative Republicans.

Here are some links that illustrate how badly Limbaugh has helped tear America apart.

We have no doubt that lines are already forming to dance on his grave. If you think that’s in poor taste, well then you haven’t been paying attention to the drivel that Limbaugh has spewed forth from his gaping maw since the ’80s. We’re not alone in wishing El Rushblo a glorious trip to hell! We hope you choke on your massive, stinky stogies for all eternity, you racist, sexist, ignorant fat tub of goo!

Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).
Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).

Foolproof Gun Control Solution

The coronavirus has gained the attention of the world recently with more than 65,000 cases reported globally and almost 1,5000 deaths. America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump even took an aggressive stand by issuing travel restrictions with China where the virus originated. But many feel that the travel ban could backfire. While we applaud this act of preparedness, health officials and the CDC say that the flu is much more dangerous and has already claimed 10,000 lives in the U.S. since October.

But there is one deathly scourge that continues to be ignored by the corporate media and the corrupt, conservative Republican corporate lackeys in Congress who continue to look the other way and do nothing. That menace is none other than gun violence. In America, gun violence kills far more people than coronavirus every year (36,000 gun deaths each year with more than 100,000 shot and injured) but yet the corporate media chooses to gaslight us and continue to scare the sheeple with the occasional and over-hyped biological threats. Over-hyped is a strong word but look at the numbers. According to the CDC, 445 people are under investigation in the U.S. for coronavirus. There are about 325 million people in America, so that means that 0.00013692307 percent of Americans have the virus. In China, which has almost 1.4 billion people, there are 60,000 confirmed cases. So, that means that 0.00428571428 percent of the Chinese population have the virus. There are already questions concerning the numbers being reported from Chinese officials.

This is par for the course for the Republicans and their cohorts in the corporate media. Would Trump ever consider signing an executive order banning assault weapons? Are you kidding???!!! The Republicans love using viruses as way to scare the sheeple. Look at the 2014 election, when the GOP announced to everybody that Ebola was coming to get them. Ebola can only be transmitted if you’re in direct contact with bodily fluids of an infected person, but that didn’t bother the Republicans from lying their asses off to get their permanently scared constituents to vote for them to ‘save the day’. We’ve seen how much more corrupt they’ve become since then with their whitewashing of Trump during his impeachment trial and the complete collapse of the now corrupted Department of Justice.

Since Republicans refuse to do anything about our biggest crisis, we here at the Bucket have a foolproof method of gun control. Sure it’s a bit crude but you know what, so are today’s right wing conservative gun nuts. So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, if you love guns more than life itself:

  • go home
  • give your favorite firearm a blow job
  • bring that gun to orgasm

Or in simpler terms: Go F*ck Your Gun! We guarantee it will be a mind-blowing experience and we might finally be able to pass some decent legislation making America safe and sane again before the next round of mass shootings.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!
Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!