Lotsa Luck, America!

America’s CEO/Dictator, twice impeached convicted felon and pathological lying man child Donald Trump is preparing his cabinet o’ clowns for his coronation as dictator in just a couple of days. We’re just a small time satire site. The thought of four more years of this doofus making stupid statements on an hourly basis is mind numbing to us here at the Bucket and we just can’t take four more years of this crap. They say stupidity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. We’ve done the Trump thing before and he was a catastrophe for our country and yet here we are again, just like in 2017 with the GOP controlling everything. There are many who are saying that Trump and the Republicans broke satire. Unfortunately, we think that’s a fairly accurate assessment. Ever since Dubya’s administration we’ve been joking about how far the GOP has drifted into fascist oligarchy territory and the conservatives have taken it as a hold my beer challenge. This is what they’ve always wanted; unquestioned authoritarian hegemony of the United States. But they couldn’t have done it without the help of corporate America, the plutocrats and the evangelical christians, an unholy alliance we’ve called the Holy Corporate Empire. Think about it, folks. Who doesn’t have to pay taxes in this country? The top 1%ers, top corporations and the church. They have all the money and power and no accountability or responsibility, which is what paying taxes is all about when you get down to brass tacks. Under Trump, the oligarchs will continue to get richer and the sanctimonious, anti-science evangelical christians will get to shove their repressive archaic agendas and dogmas down everyone’s throat with the power of the government behind them. Think of these bullies as the American Taliban, because that’s exactly what they are.

We’d like to take a little bit of time to praise the efforts of current President Joe Biden. The conservative news media and propagandists have already kneecapped his accomplishments and Trump is already taking credit for his infrastructure bill. We have no doubt that Trump and the Republicans will trash Biden’s legacy, trying to do to him what Reagan and the GOP did to Jimmy Carter in the ’80s. We’ve talked about the historic legislative session from January 2021 to January 2023. Not since Lyndon Johnson’s first term has there been such a productive session. Compare that to the current GOP lead House, under self-proclaimed ‘Moses’ Mike Johnson, which has led the league in incompetence and yet somehow they’ve maintained control this past election – which was definitely not rigged (wink, wink). But Biden’s done some amazing things as President, certainly more than we thought he could when his presidency started. He deserves to be thanked. Most historians rank James K. Polk as the best one term President. We think the factually educated, objective historians will rank Biden right up there with Polk.

Which brings us back to the election and how the Democrats once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. We’ve consistently criticized the Dems for never attacking the Republicans and rolling over like submissive puppies every time the GOP conservatives raised their voices. This happened many times during Dubya’s administration. But they didn’t do that the past two elections and we think they were absolutely right to attack the Republicans. In our opinion, the Dems finally did everything right. So what went wrong? Forty years of Republican brainwashing propaganda in the corporate media is what went wrong. Reagan’s deregulation in the 1980’s and the continuation in Clinton’s and both Bushes demolished fair play in the media. The right wing propaganda machine rose in the late ’80s with radio hosts such as Rush Limbaugh at the forefront spreading propaganda that the media was ‘liberal’ and demonizing any one on the left. This after the news media fawned over the Gipper during the ’80s, especially after his assassination attempt in 1981. The right wing targeted the die hard religious conservatives in the Midwest and the South repeating the same mantra ‘the liberal media’ is evil. The Moral Majority under the leadership of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell repeated the diatribe with laser focus on Reagan’s old stomping grounds in Hollywood as proof positive that liberals controlled the media. Now there are different branches of the media, folks. There’s the sports media which isn’t political but definitely has a coastal bias. Sports pundits love to crow about the LA, Frisco, New York, Boston or Philadelphia teams, while midwestern teams (other than the current Chiefs) are usually ignored. The film and TV branch (especially late night talk shows) does have a liberal bias but there are many prominent Republicans in the movie making biz – Stallone, Willis, Norris, Woods, Voight, etc. If you think of all the shoot-em-ups and blood-fests over the last forty years, you’ll find gun loving conservative Republicans behind them. Then there’s the news media. We’ve commented repeatedly over the years about how the news media has a very conservative bias. If the news media had a liberal bias why did we only sparingly see Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders or any Democrat giving their opinion during the last four years. They were virtually non-existent. But we saw an overwhelming coverage of Trump, Cruz, Graham and the host of other dipstick Republicans like MTG(MTHead), Lauren Boobert and Matt Gaetz. Republicans complain about George Soros, but he’s outnumbered by tons of conservative tycoons like Rupert Murdoch, Sheldon Adelson, Leonard Leo, Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Timothy Mellon, Linda McMahon, etc. With the establishment of Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, in 1996, the conservatives could regularly spread their biased opinion masquerading as news to the masses. And now there’s been a proliferation of other prominent outlets like Newsmax and OAN that are vilifying anyone who leans even slightly to the left. Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton(who was a Goldwater girl) were not socialists; they were corporatists and all in for capitalistic endeavors – but that didn’t stop the right from labeling them as such. Of course they ignore the fact that Jesus taught socialism to his followers (you mean Jesus was a socialist? – shocking!).

There’s one thing that works with propaganda; repetition. The Nazis knew it and the modern day Republicans know it, too. Like we mentioned earlier, Limbaugh repeated it on a daily basis. Remember Dubya repeating 9/11 and the war on terror over and over and over again. The conservative christian sheeple ate it up because they are prone to following the leader, you know, the lord is my shepherd and I am but a sheep. Trump repeated the fearmongering, this time with illegal immigrants as the scapegoats and it worked like gangbusters again. But why did it work so well? Because the corporate news media is bought and paid for by rich conservatives like Murdoch and the Sinclair Group. Thanks to the Citizens United decision by the conservative Supreme Court, rich right wing people with money can buy all the politicians they want and spread whatever misinformation they want and not pay any consequences. The average Joe and Jane don’t stand a chance.

This brings us to the current economic system in place not only in America but it many other countries around the world – capitalism. We’ve commented before about how unregulated capitalism is nothing more than indirect cannibalism. That’s what’s happening in America. We’re not only killing each other we’re killing the planet, too – all for fun and profit. And who’s in the driver seat when it comes to capitalism; syndicates. We remember syndicates being to the boogeymen in a lot of ’60s and ’70s TV dramas. But they are real and there are several of them. There’s the military industrial syndicate (Ike called it a complex), the financial syndicate (stock market and investors), the energy syndicate(only fossil fuels need apply-screw the environment), the media syndicate(all major networks owned by just six companies), the insurance syndicate(price collusion on a massive scale), the political syndicate(only Democrats and Republicans need apply), the religious syndicate(this means christians), the transportation syndicate(only gas guzzling automobiles and trucks need apply-screw mass transit), the healthcare and pharmaceutical syndicate(death panels are already here, folks), the gambling syndicate(we can’t believe sports gambling is legal everywhere now), the sports syndicate(the biggest grift in America), the real estate syndicate(trying to make all public lands private), the software and technology syndicate(tracking people, their data and their money like it’s 1984-Big Brother is watching you) and some other less powerful entities – it’s basically all the investment sectors of the stock market. The commonality amongst all of them: making as much money as possible. That’s why we see all sorts of wheeling and dealing between all of these syndicates – it’s called business, folks. The most obvious connections are the ones between politicians, lobbyists and, with recent revelations, Supreme Court justices. Laws aren’t made on Capital Hill, they are made on K Street where the lobbyists from these syndicates offer sweet deals to make everyone rich at the expense of us poor suckers in the middle and lower classes and to hell with the environment. It’s become painfully obvious over the past forty years (especially the last twenty) that the Republicans and Democrats (the political syndicate) have been playing good cop/ bad cop with the American people. Thanks to deregulation by both Republicans and Democrats, the gap between the rich and poor have widened so much, that many historians are saying we’ve entered another Gilded Age, when plutocrats are worshipped as gods and, like Napoleon once said, the sheeple are kept from murdering the rich because of religion. Like we’ve said before, because of cannibalistic capitalism, we’ve become a nation of SEGUMUCAs: Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes. Thanks to our greedy capitalist leaders, we’ve become so desperate that we’ll do anything for a buck. Our greedy capitalist leaders have shamelessly pulled the Shock Doctrine on its own people. Instead of Americans helping other Americans, we’re screwing each other to the wall for fun and profit. And now even basic necessities are becoming too expensive. Yes, you could say that capitalism is the anti-christ. We think in the coming years we’ll be seeing a lot more people like Luigi Mangione trying to even the score with the uncaring, unsympathetic corporatists who are running the syndicates, this country and the world and turning everything into a cesspool. We the people have been had by the greedy corrupt capitalists. Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to get a lot uglier that it already is, folks.

We don’t want to say this is our last post ever. We reserve to right to post new material if we feel like it, so let’s call this a hiatus for an unspecified period of time. We’ve mostly had a blast making content these last twenty one years. If your check our archived posts, our satire and analysis has been mostly spot on. But our sanity just can’t take another four years of Trump and his troop of MAGAMorons. We’re already busting blood vessels with his inane Greenland and Canada drivel and he’s not even dictator yet. We’re old, retired Boomers. We don’t have much time left on this planet. We want to try and enjoy our final years without banging our heads on the wall every second and gulping down vials of antacid. After the Bush years, Trump and the pandemic we have zero faith in the this country’s institutions, zero faith in our corrupt judicial system, zero faith in our corrupt elected officials(Republicans or Democrats), zero faith in our corrupt financial system, zero faith in our corrupt healthcare, zero faith in our corrupt community leaders, zero faith in our corrupt education system, zero faith in our corrupt society, zero faith in our corrupt civilization and zero faith in humanity. We’re destroying each other and our home planet and our so called leaders won’t do anything to save it because it’s not cost effective. To all the people who voted Republican or didn’t vote at all (almost 90 million) and those who believe in putting profit over people and the environment – we’ll put this as politely as we can – SCREW YOU!!! To all our progressive and secular brethren, we wish you the best. Disconnect from social media sites like Facebook and Twitter(we refuse to call it by its new moniker), fact check everything the corporate media spews out of its vile mouth and don’t let the fascists gaslight you about Trump. As any educated historian will tell you, Trump is objectively awful. He’s a self-aggrandizing, petty, vindictive, greedy, egomaniacal, narcissistic, misogynistic, bigoted, bombastic, materialistic, callous, rude, deceitful, oppressive, pathological-lying, sociopathic bully. We all know it. Don’t let the greedy corporate media normalize him. Finally and most of all, take care of yourself. Feel free to check our archived posts if you want to get some chuckles from the stupidity of the first Trump term or the last twenty one years of GOP idiocy.

Lotsa luck, America – you’re going to need it!!!

Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.
Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.

The GOP Crime Syndicate

Election day is getting closer and things are looking a lot brighter for Democrats and fans of democracy these days. The Harris/Walz ticket is tied or leading in all swing states and even North Carolina is in play now. There are very optimistic rumors that Harris even has a chance in Florida, although we’re extremely dubious and skeptical that she would carry that deep red state.

And while Harris and her human dynamo VP choice Walz are surging, the Republican candidate, twice impeached, convicted felon, megalomaniac man child Donald Trump is repeatedly stumbling and fumbling and acting like an incompetent rambling old buffoon (what else is new!). But does the corporate main stream media say Trump should be replaced like they did with Joe Biden? Of course not! Does the corporate main stream media call TFG on his countless lies and prevarications? Of course not! Because, like we’ve repeatedly proclaimed before, the corporate main stream news media is conservative and they’ll do anything possible to tilt the scales toward the Republicans. The media is already trying to swift boat Walz but fortunately veterans, like Jesse Ventura, are stepping forward and defending him. Lawrence O’Donnell succinctly and cogently presented the problem with the media last week on his show. It’s well worth a watch.

Let’s make no mistake; America is made up of syndicates. There is the military industrial syndicate. There are the energy, financial, insurance, healthcare, pharmaceutical, mining and manufacturing syndicates. Two of the most powerful syndicates are the political syndicate, which consists of the Democrat and Republican parties (third parties need not apply) and the media syndicate. What’s the common purpose of all these groups? Making money and profit at any and all costs! This is the Corporate States of America or if the christian nationalists gain control, the Holy Corporate Empire. Capitalism is king and if you don’t like it, you must be one of those evil . . . socialists! So it should be no surprise that the media is coordinating with the Democrats and Republicans to make the election cycle interesting. But with the convicted felon Trump in charge, the Republicans aren’t a party anymore; they’re a crime syndicate.

We posted a meme back on September 12, 2018 which is even more applicable today. It features Trump and his many cohorts who were convicted of crimes and we’re reposting it today. What baffles us is why the Republicans just don’t drop Trump like a bad habit. After election losses, the GOP kicked Ford, George H. W. Bush, Dole, McCain and Romney to the curb like they were rubbish. Does TFG have some kind of kompromat on the GOP which would blow the party to smithereens if the American public found out about it? Like perhaps illegally receiving money from Putin and his Russian oligarch pals? Just saying. All we know is that no truth loving American should ever trust the Republicans on anything ever again.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they're a crime syndicate.
With so many indictments of Donald Trump’s associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they’re a crime syndicate.

Hope, Thy Name Is Kamala Harris

A lot has happened since our last post a month ago. Honestly, folks, the way the election had been panning out was depressing the hell out of us. Joe Biden, despite having one of the best legislative terms in history, was being labeled as too old as compared to an equally old and more unstable and completely dishonest man, the twice impeached convicted felon TFG. The fix was in and it still may be in, we don’t know. But President Biden bowing out of the race and endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris completely threw the Republicans for a loop. For once, the Democrats put the screws to the GOP and we’re feeling something we haven’t felt in a while – HOPE!

There are many positive signs for democracy loving citizens. The Democrats have coalesced and galvanized around Harris. The Vice President has raked in millions of dollars and gave a rally to a full house in Atlanta. Her reported nominees for Vice President are all solid candidates. We’re pushing for Arizona Senator Mark Kelly but then again we’re Arizonans and a bit biased. Not only that but Donald Trump gave one his worst interviews ever (and he’s given a zillion awful interviews in the last nine years) at the National Association of Black Journalists this past week. He completely screwed the pooch and probably lost the black vote completely. His flip-flopping VP pick J.D. Vance is not impressing anyone. So far the only things Republicans can complain about Harris is the lame comment that she’s always laughing. So there are plenty reasons to be hopeful.

But we’re sure the corrupt corporate media will do a hit job on Harris they way they did in 2016 against Hillary Clinton once they find something bad, no matter how picayune the issue is, in which to bash her and whoever her running mate ends up being. The media wants drama and Zeus damn it, drama makes lots of MONEY, which is what the greedy corporations and America are all about. So, get ready for a bumpy three months, folks. Things are looking much better for democracy loving Americans, but it ain’t over yet.

The Republican Party is so broken and weird that they are criticizing Democratic candidate, current Vice President Kamala Harris for the unforgivable sin of laughing.
The Republican Party is so broken and weird that they are criticizing Democratic candidate, current Vice President Kamala Harris for the unforgivable sin of laughing.

The Fix Is In

Well, the fix appears to be in, folks. Unfortunately, the corporate main stream media and the Supreme Court have come out in the open in favor of the twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and convicted felon Donald Trump in the upcoming election, a.k.a. Con-a-thon 2024. The Supreme Court ruled that the President has some immunity if the action came as part of ‘official‘ business. Of course, they don’t specify what official is, but who cares right. The President, in some cases, and especially if he is Donald Trump, is above the law, at least according to this corrupt confederacy of conservative clowns.

Then, last week, the Presidential Debate occurred with much gnashing of teeth and groaning from Americans. Joe Biden didn’t perform well but neither did the orange faced megalomaniac TFG. Like one headline said: Biden Fumbles, Trump Fabricates. And what is worse is that the CNN moderators didn’t even call Trump on his prevarications. Tapper and Bash are worthless as journalists, absolutely worthless. What’s even worse is that in the aftermath, corporate media outlets, including left leaning ones, are proclaiming that Biden is too old, exactly the talking point the right wing Republicans have been making all along. This despite Biden’s strong performances in the State of the Union , D-Day memorials and other speeches he’s given. He had a bad night. Trump has had a zillion bad nights and the media just shrugs their shoulders and goes “meh”. Liberal media my ass!!!

We’re going to repost our photo-toon from June 8, 2020. This was when Trump sent his thuggish troops out to eject peaceful protesters and then raised a bible for all to see. We’re going to even repeat the last paragraph (with a few appropriate edits) because the threat of fascism is even greater now with the latest actions by the corporate media and right-wing Supreme Court.

We’ve commented many times about fascism and fascists, especially the prediction credited to Sinclair Lewis that when it comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. We even posted, before Trump was even elected, a handy dandy checklist comparing the NSDAP Party of 1930s Germany with 21st century Republicans. You know why? We’ve read a lot about the subject and when we see similarities we mention them. Like in Naomi Klein’s excellent book, The Shock Doctrine, Trump is following the playbook of authoritarian leaders who shock their own citizens into accepting their ideology and economic world view. The GOP has been planning this for the past twenty years. We even posted about it after Trump’s sham of an impeachment trial; it’s Trump über alles. Trump has been shocking us on a daily basis with a Twitter blitzkrieg during his entire presidency to crush our will and depress us. And what did the Republicans in Congress doing? They’re let him get away with it because this is their plan. They’re goosestepping right behind him, pushing through laws that favor corporations and plutocrats while destroying the middle class as Trumpty Dumpty and Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican propaganda network, distract and gaslight us to death. Then came the Jan. 6 insurrection and Trump’s thugs attacked the Capital. But Trump still hasn’t faced accountability because his allies in the Supreme Court said he has immunity. We thought Jan. 6th would be the breaking point, but with the latest fascist actions of the Supreme Court and the Republican’s embrace of TFG, apparently not. We must continue to stand up against authoritarian rule. Fascism is unacceptable in America. Democracy and rule of law are what this country is all about. Freedom of speech is one of our most cherished freedoms. This is a country, by the people for the people; not by the corporation for the corporation. We the people must vote against Trump and his fascist cohorts in November or we might not have a Democracy in which to vote in anymore!

Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates that fascism has arrived in America by sexually abusing a flag (wrapped in the flag) and displaying an upside down bible (carrying a cross).
Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates that fascism has arrived in America by sexually abusing a flag (wrapped in the flag) and displaying an upside down bible (carrying a cross).

The Singing Rat Returns

Back on March 4, 2019 we created a post featuring former Trump fixer Michael Cohen singing like a canary in front of a House Oversight committee about the many frauds of his former employer. Fast forward five years and it’s time for the return of the singing rat.

The Stormy Daniels hush money trial is winding down and Michael Cohen returned to the stand to testify against the orange haired megalomaniac man-child and from most accounts, he held his own and was ‘credible’. Granted Cohen is a liar but then again Trump is an even bigger prevaricator to the tune of over 30,000 in over four years as CEO/Dictator of America. So, what’s going to happen? Given TFG’s propensity to escape accountability his entire life, we’re not holding our breath. But maybe, just maybe, justice will prevail and Trump will be wearing a jumpsuit to match his orange complexion in the near future. Here’s a repost of our Singing Rat meme.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.
The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

Rootin’ Tootin’ Trump

The Trump hush money payment to Stormy Daniels trial is entering its gazillionth week and there has much commentary about the orange megalomaniac man child’s flatulence. Yes, the twice impeached Putin fan boy is blowing vile gas from both his mouth and his anus. That’s talent, folks! From all accounts, it’s like the stockyards in the courtroom and Trump’s lawyers may be sporting gas masks soon.

Which reminds up of our post from July 25, 2020 during the heart of the pandemic and Con-a-thon 2020. It was then that Trumpty Dumpty and his darling daughter Ivanka became embroiled in a ethical conundrum by endorsing Goya beans while in the White House. That’s a no-no, but then again Donald Trump does what ever he wants, which is why he has four trials with a grand total of 88 criminal counts. We speculated at the time that maybe Trump was going to launch another failed business venture called Trump Beans. Maybe that’s why he’s been giving ten toot salutes in the courtroom: he’s just full o’ beans.

From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of 'em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy's favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat 'em. What have you got to lose.
From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of ’em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy’s favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat ’em. What have you got to lose.

Pepe Trump Still Croaking Fake News

Way back on July 7, 2017, during TFG’s first term, we posted a photo-toon highlighting the twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator’s war on truth. Trump openly called everything the press reported as ‘fake news’ unless of course it was complimentary. Back then, the QAnon weirdos and MAGA Morons were just coming out of the woodwork and these specimens mostly watched Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. Now the number of conservative media outlets have multiplied and more and more of the sheeple in the MAGA movement ignore any information unless it comes from the mouth of the orange skinned megalomaniac man child.

Like we said back in 2017, Trump’s war on the media is insidious and incredibly dangerous for a free society. Freedom of the press is one of the cornerstones of our democracy. But Trump has made no secret that he wants to be a dictator like his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. And with that desire comes the flak generator of conservative media outlets and unregulated social media sites like Twitter and Facebook spreading lies, misinformation and propaganda so successfully, it’s become a full time job for an average citizen just to determine the truth. So what is the truth? According to Trump, it’s anything he says it is.

Here’s a repost of our photo-toon from July 7, 2017. We think the flabby green ‘Pepe’ (instead of orange) skin on his saggy ass jowls are pretty appropriate for this croaking bag of goo.

When you want fake news, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!
When you want fake news, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!

Rewind: Dubya Caesar

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Republicans’ embrace of authoritarianism over democracy is no longer in doubt with the recent GOP support of TFG even despite the overwhelming evidence presented in his four indictments, especially the federal case against him for the January 6th insurrection and attempted coup. Trump wants a fascist takeover of this country but so did his Republican predecessor, George W. Bush. Fortunately, for most Americans, the GOP is quite inept at governing so their attempts of hostile takeovers have failed . . . so far. But there were several events during the Bush administration where Dubya pushed to envelope in trying to become Dubya Caesar.

One incident was the firing of U.S, Attorneys in December 2006 which certainly appeared to be politically motivated. However, Bush explained away the dismissals by stating that  “U.S. Attorneys and others serve at the pleasure of the president .” Quite the authoritarian bent, don’t ya think? Bush even protested that Congress wanted to question his lackeys Karl Rove, Harriet Miers and Alberto Gonzales. Apparently, checks and balances aren’t appropriate when Republicans are in power. Hail Dubya Caesar!

Here’s an article about Bush’s defense of his dismissals, selected quote and lil’ Dub Toon from our March 29, 2007 edition.

Bush Defends Secret Testimonies

The recent dismissal of eight U.S. attorneys, apparently approved by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, has shocked many Americans. The Democratic controlled Congress is now asking questions about whether the dismissals were politically motivated given that they were in mid-term and not at the beginning, when most firings occur. In an effort to shed more light on the subject, Congress has asked President Bush’s advisors Karl Rove and Harriet Miers to testify under oath before Congress on the firings. However, Bush has been resistant to any Congressional demands.

President Bush, trying to recapture the glory of the Reagan years, said, “There they go again. The Democrats in Congress are just playing politics again like they’re doing with the war on Iraq, global warming, the gargantuan deficit, the Scooter Libby trial, the Valerie Plame leak, the Abu Ghraib torture scandal, the domestic spying fiasco, the Katrina disaster, the Jack Abramoff scandal, the Tom Delay scandal, the Duke Cunningham scandal, the Enron scandal, the Mark Foley scandal, the Terri Schiavo debacle, the bleak state of health care coverage, and the growing gap between rich and poor. And now they’re gunning for ‘Fredo’ Gonzales, ‘Turd Blossom’ Rove and ‘Dirty Harriet’ Miers. According to my version of the Constitution, Congress is not the boss of me. Therefore, I have executive privileges, as do my faithful bootlicks. Karl Rove, Harriet Miers and others are no under any obligation to testify under oath to anything. Of course, I’m invoking executive privilege. I’ve been privileged my whole life, so why shouldn’t I be privileged when I’m presidenting? Heh-heh.”

President Bush then laid the ground rules for any questioning of his subordinates. “Listen folks. Here are the rules if you’re going to question my people, see. First of all, they don’t have to swear under oath. There will be no Bibles in the room, and no questioners can look them in the eye. They have to be questioned in a secret, undisclosed location, like Uncle Dick’s bunker or our torture chambers in Europe. Any questions must pertain to the following subjects: sports, Texas, or barbeque. They must be able to answer their question while sitting in a recliner, sipping on a nice, refreshing beverage like beer. A big screen TV must be provided in case there is a lull in the questioning. And most importantly, you can’t record their answers. You can’t even remember what they said. As long as these rules are followed, you can ask them anything.”

Harriet Miers said “Oh I may have suggested a few firings here and there. My memory is so hazy these days. All I know is President Bush is the smartest man in this country and I will do whatever he tells me to do. Even go to women’s prison for the rest of my life if it means I protect his privileged white ass.”

Karl Rove said, “Oh my memory is so hazy these days I can’t even remember my raucous dancing from a few nights ago at the White House correspondent’s dinner. But I’m outraged that John Edwards is using his wife’s cancer thing as a ploy to get sympathy at a time when our beloved spin secretary Tony Snow is battling cancer. The nerve of some people!”

Alberto Gonzales said, “My memory is so hazy these days. Actually, my memory is hazy going back to about 2003. I do know I am not responsible for these firings. I don’t know what was going on. I don’t know who authorized it. I don’t even know who works at the Department of Justice. What am I the Attorney General or something? But like I said, I am not responsible.”

Scooter Libby, who was recently convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in the leaking of Valerie Plame’s secret identity, said, “Looks like I’ll be getting a new roommate soon. Alberto will make a fine stoolie. Plus, he’ll keep me warm on those cold winter nights.”

“U.S. Attorneys and others serve at the pleasure of the president.”

George W. Bush
03-14-2007

"This attorney's non-Bushiness displeases me. Send him to Guantanamo!"
“This attorney’s non-Bushiness displeases me. Send him to Guantanamo!”

Rewind: Dubya’s Duplicity On Iraq

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Currently the Republicans are trying to gaslight their way to trying to get TFG elected in 2024 by claiming that all those indictments are a nothing burger. One might think that their duplicity is new, dating back only to the rise of Trump. But the GOP’s dishonesty goes way back. Remember Nixon(Watergate), Reagan(Iran-Contra) and both Bushes(Gulf War, Iraq War, Afghanistan War)? Volumes of lies, deception and propaganda to go around. Since most Americans seem to have the memory of a gnat (somehow, people actually approve of Dubya now), let’s revisit a fairly recent event of GOP gaslighting in 2006 when Dubya tried to spin our reasons for continuing the clusterf*ck in Iraq. The Bush administration repeatedly used the phrase ‘stay the course’ in the early phases of the war and then promptly did an about face, actually gaslighting the people saying that they didn’t use the phrase. That’s so Republican!

Here’s an article, selected quotes and lil’ Dub Toon from our October 28, 2006 edition.

Bush Revises Iraq War Rationale Again

President Bush recently held a press conference stating that the war in Iraq is all about oil and the new reason for staying the course in Iraq is that we need to save civilization. Previous reasons included finding weapons of mass destruction, liberating Iraqis from dictator Saddam Hussein, establishing democracy throughout the Middle East, training the Iraqis to police their own country, making sure the new Baghdad KFC and Pizza Hut’s were safe, and because ‘Uncle Dick and Rummy said so – so there’.

“You see my fellow Americans,” said President Bush. “If them Iraqians actually start using some of that oil under their country that’s rightfully ours – because we’re Americans –the price of gas will skyrocket. Everybody was bellyaching about the price of gas this past summer, but if you think that was bad, wait until we leave Iraq and let the Iraqians run things. We must stay to keep gas prices low. You could say we came for the WMDs and stayed for the oil. Hey! That’s pretty funny.” Bush then chuckled to himself for two minutes.

Vice President Cheney emerged from his secret undisclosed lair, brushed the President aside and said, “Out of my way monkey boy! This isn’t about oil at all. This is the last chance for Western Civilization as we know it. It’s up to me and Rumsfeld to save the world. We’re the only ones who know how to exploit the region for fun and profit. I ask you my fellow Americans. Do you really want to take food out of the mouths of innocent Halliburton employees? That’s why we must win the war in Iraq and you must elect Republicans in this upcoming election. Because if you don’t, the next thing you know, we’ll be riding in ox carts, eating dates and drinking camel’s milk. Terror. Terror. Terror. Fear. Fear. Fear. God Bless Me and Rumsfeld!”

Joan LeBlanc of the international watchdog organization, Citizens For Peace, said “This is just another example of the lies and distortions this administration doles out to the American public on a daily basis. The truth is we are stuck in Iraq, thanks to this administration’s incompetent decision to invade in 2003. If we stay we will continue to be caught in the middle of sectarian violence. If we leave, Iraq will devolve into full scale civil war. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. The genie is out of the bottle and it won’t be going back in any time soon. Pandora’s box is opened. The can of worms is not only open, the worms are spilling out all over the place. The scab has been picked and the wound is infected and oozing with pus. Well, I’m out of cliches. I’m done.”

However, American citizens seemed okay with the White House’s latest explanation. Senior citizen Ruth Thomason of Des Égout, Mississippi said, “I believe the Vice President when he tells me we need to stay in Iraq to save civilization. I also believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy with whom I’m very upset. She hasn’t left me any money for my teeth in the last sixty years and I’m beginning to get a bit miffed.”

Fred Granger of Tuckerville, Illinois said, “Well I was damn mad at the President about everything. Damn mad, I tells ya! I was even going to vote an all Democratic ticket this election. But then the price of gas dropped. Can you believe it’s almost $2 a gallon? Well, all’s forgiven Mr. President. I’m voting Republican.”

Tom Carter of Dorfman, New Jersey said, “I know the Republicans have completely botched the situation in Iraq but I’m comfortable with their incompetence. Go GOP!”

June Amerson of Julesberg, Washington said, “I’m voting for the Republicans because they’re strong on terrorism even though that report that came out says terrorism is much worse in the world since we invaded Iraq. Wait a second. Let me think about that. No wait. Thinking is too tough. Republican it is!”

“We will stay the course. “

George W. Bush
08-30-2006

“We will stay the course, we will complete the job in Iraq. “

George W. Bush
08-04-2005

“And that’s why we’re going to stay the course in Iraq. And that’s why when we say something in Iraq, we’re going to do it.”

George W. Bush
04-16-2004

“And my message today to those in Iraq is: We’ll stay the course.”

George W. Bush
04-13-2004

“And so we’ve got tough action in Iraq. But we will stay the course.

George W. Bush
04-05-2004

“We will stay the course until the job is done, Steve. And the temptation is to try to get the President or somebody to put a timetable on the definition of getting the job done. We’re just going to stay the course. “

George W. Bush
12-15-2003

George W. Bush's pants catch on fire after his latest prevarication about never saying 'staying the course'.
“Stay the course? Nuh uh! I never said stay the course!”

Rewind: Supreme Corruption

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

In our last post we recycled a photo-toon showing how corrupt the Supreme Court had become since the 2010 Citizens United decision which gave the rich unfettered power to influence politicians. We had a link to an old post with another photo-toon about the Supreme Court’s corruption which we’ve decided to repost as well.

We’ve already talked about Clarence Thomas’ luxury trips courtesy of conservative billionaire Harlan Crow. It’s come out now that Justice Thomas has been influenced even more by an elite circle of plutocrats. Surprise, surprise! Lawrence O’Donnell gave an excellent commentary about Thomas the other night which is pretty much right on the money, pardon the pun. Is it any wonder that so many Americans have no faith in the Supreme Court. Like we’ve said before, the current Supreme Court is supremely corrupt and the justices who have accepted gifts from wealthy benefactors should resign if they are truly interested in maintaining a judicial system based on ethics and morality.

Poor Plutocrats everywhere are rejoicing now that their corporate lackeys on the Supreme Court have given them control of America.
Plutocrats everywhere are rejoicing now that their corporate lackeys on the Supreme Court have finally given them a voice in the running of America.