Lotsa Luck, America!

America’s CEO/Dictator, twice impeached convicted felon and pathological lying man child Donald Trump is preparing his cabinet o’ clowns for his coronation as dictator in just a couple of days. We’re just a small time satire site. The thought of four more years of this doofus making stupid statements on an hourly basis is mind numbing to us here at the Bucket and we just can’t take four more years of this crap. They say stupidity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. We’ve done the Trump thing before and he was a catastrophe for our country and yet here we are again, just like in 2017 with the GOP controlling everything. There are many who are saying that Trump and the Republicans broke satire. Unfortunately, we think that’s a fairly accurate assessment. Ever since Dubya’s administration we’ve been joking about how far the GOP has drifted into fascist oligarchy territory and the conservatives have taken it as a hold my beer challenge. This is what they’ve always wanted; unquestioned authoritarian hegemony of the United States. But they couldn’t have done it without the help of corporate America, the plutocrats and the evangelical christians, an unholy alliance we’ve called the Holy Corporate Empire. Think about it, folks. Who doesn’t have to pay taxes in this country? The top 1%ers, top corporations and the church. They have all the money and power and no accountability or responsibility, which is what paying taxes is all about when you get down to brass tacks. Under Trump, the oligarchs will continue to get richer and the sanctimonious, anti-science evangelical christians will get to shove their repressive archaic agendas and dogmas down everyone’s throat with the power of the government behind them. Think of these bullies as the American Taliban, because that’s exactly what they are.

We’d like to take a little bit of time to praise the efforts of current President Joe Biden. The conservative news media and propagandists have already kneecapped his accomplishments and Trump is already taking credit for his infrastructure bill. We have no doubt that Trump and the Republicans will trash Biden’s legacy, trying to do to him what Reagan and the GOP did to Jimmy Carter in the ’80s. We’ve talked about the historic legislative session from January 2021 to January 2023. Not since Lyndon Johnson’s first term has there been such a productive session. Compare that to the current GOP lead House, under self-proclaimed ‘Moses’ Mike Johnson, which has led the league in incompetence and yet somehow they’ve maintained control this past election – which was definitely not rigged (wink, wink). But Biden’s done some amazing things as President, certainly more than we thought he could when his presidency started. He deserves to be thanked. Most historians rank James K. Polk as the best one term President. We think the factually educated, objective historians will rank Biden right up there with Polk.

Which brings us back to the election and how the Democrats once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. We’ve consistently criticized the Dems for never attacking the Republicans and rolling over like submissive puppies every time the GOP conservatives raised their voices. This happened many times during Dubya’s administration. But they didn’t do that the past two elections and we think they were absolutely right to attack the Republicans. In our opinion, the Dems finally did everything right. So what went wrong? Forty years of Republican brainwashing propaganda in the corporate media is what went wrong. Reagan’s deregulation in the 1980’s and the continuation in Clinton’s and both Bushes demolished fair play in the media. The right wing propaganda machine rose in the late ’80s with radio hosts such as Rush Limbaugh at the forefront spreading propaganda that the media was ‘liberal’ and demonizing any one on the left. This after the news media fawned over the Gipper during the ’80s, especially after his assassination attempt in 1981. The right wing targeted the die hard religious conservatives in the Midwest and the South repeating the same mantra ‘the liberal media’ is evil. The Moral Majority under the leadership of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell repeated the diatribe with laser focus on Reagan’s old stomping grounds in Hollywood as proof positive that liberals controlled the media. Now there are different branches of the media, folks. There’s the sports media which isn’t political but definitely has a coastal bias. Sports pundits love to crow about the LA, Frisco, New York, Boston or Philadelphia teams, while midwestern teams (other than the current Chiefs) are usually ignored. The film and TV branch (especially late night talk shows) does have a liberal bias but there are many prominent Republicans in the movie making biz – Stallone, Willis, Norris, Woods, Voight, etc. If you think of all the shoot-em-ups and blood-fests over the last forty years, you’ll find gun loving conservative Republicans behind them. Then there’s the news media. We’ve commented repeatedly over the years about how the news media has a very conservative bias. If the news media had a liberal bias why did we only sparingly see Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders or any Democrat giving their opinion during the last four years. They were virtually non-existent. But we saw an overwhelming coverage of Trump, Cruz, Graham and the host of other dipstick Republicans like MTG(MTHead), Lauren Boobert and Matt Gaetz. Republicans complain about George Soros, but he’s outnumbered by tons of conservative tycoons like Rupert Murdoch, Sheldon Adelson, Leonard Leo, Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Timothy Mellon, Linda McMahon, etc. With the establishment of Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, in 1996, the conservatives could regularly spread their biased opinion masquerading as news to the masses. And now there’s been a proliferation of other prominent outlets like Newsmax and OAN that are vilifying anyone who leans even slightly to the left. Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton(who was a Goldwater girl) were not socialists; they were corporatists and all in for capitalistic endeavors – but that didn’t stop the right from labeling them as such. Of course they ignore the fact that Jesus taught socialism to his followers (you mean Jesus was a socialist? – shocking!).

There’s one thing that works with propaganda; repetition. The Nazis knew it and the modern day Republicans know it, too. Like we mentioned earlier, Limbaugh repeated it on a daily basis. Remember Dubya repeating 9/11 and the war on terror over and over and over again. The conservative christian sheeple ate it up because they are prone to following the leader, you know, the lord is my shepherd and I am but a sheep. Trump repeated the fearmongering, this time with illegal immigrants as the scapegoats and it worked like gangbusters again. But why did it work so well? Because the corporate news media is bought and paid for by rich conservatives like Murdoch and the Sinclair Group. Thanks to the Citizens United decision by the conservative Supreme Court, rich right wing people with money can buy all the politicians they want and spread whatever misinformation they want and not pay any consequences. The average Joe and Jane don’t stand a chance.

This brings us to the current economic system in place not only in America but it many other countries around the world – capitalism. We’ve commented before about how unregulated capitalism is nothing more than indirect cannibalism. That’s what’s happening in America. We’re not only killing each other we’re killing the planet, too – all for fun and profit. And who’s in the driver seat when it comes to capitalism; syndicates. We remember syndicates being the boogeymen in a lot of ’60s and ’70s TV dramas. But they are real and there are several of them. There’s the military industrial syndicate (Ike called it a complex), the financial syndicate (stock market and investors), the energy syndicate(only fossil fuels need apply-screw the environment), the media syndicate(all major networks owned by just six companies), the insurance syndicate(price collusion on a massive scale), the political syndicate(only Democrats and Republicans need apply), the religious syndicate(this means christians), the transportation syndicate(only gas guzzling automobiles and trucks need apply-screw mass transit), the healthcare and pharmaceutical syndicate(death panels are already here, folks), the gambling syndicate(we can’t believe sports gambling is legal everywhere now), the sports syndicate(the biggest grift in America), the real estate syndicate(trying to make all public lands private), the software and technology syndicate(tracking people, their data and their money like it’s 1984-Big Brother is watching you) and some other less powerful entities – it’s basically all the investment sectors of the stock market. The commonality amongst all of them: making as much money as possible. That’s why we see all sorts of wheeling and dealing between all of these syndicates – it’s called business, folks. The most obvious connections are the ones between politicians, lobbyists and, with recent revelations, Supreme Court justices. Laws aren’t made on Capital Hill, they are made on K Street where the lobbyists from these syndicates offer sweet deals to make everyone rich at the expense of us poor suckers in the middle and lower classes and to hell with the environment. It’s become painfully obvious over the past forty years (especially the last twenty) that the Republicans and Democrats (the political syndicate) have been playing good cop/ bad cop with the American people. Thanks to deregulation by both Republicans and Democrats, the gap between the rich and poor have widened so much, that many historians are saying we’ve entered another Gilded Age, when plutocrats are worshipped as gods and, like Napoleon once said, the sheeple are kept from murdering the rich because of religion. Like we’ve said before, because of cannibalistic capitalism, we’ve become a nation of SEGUMUCAs: Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes. Thanks to our greedy capitalist leaders, we’ve become so desperate that we’ll do anything for a buck. Our greedy capitalist leaders have shamelessly pulled the Shock Doctrine on its own people. Instead of Americans helping other Americans, we’re screwing each other to the wall for fun and profit. And now even basic necessities are becoming too expensive. Yes, you could say that capitalism is the anti-christ. We think in the coming years we’ll be seeing a lot more people like Luigi Mangione trying to even the score with the uncaring, unsympathetic corporatists who are running the syndicates, this country and the world and turning everything into a cesspool. We the people have been had by the greedy corrupt capitalists. Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to get a lot uglier that it already is, folks.

We don’t want to say this is our last post ever. We reserve to right to post new material if we feel like it, so let’s call this a hiatus for an unspecified period of time. We’ve mostly had a blast making content these last twenty one years. If your check our archived posts, our satire and analysis has been mostly spot on. But our sanity just can’t take another four years of Trump and his troop of MAGAMorons. We’re already busting blood vessels with his inane Greenland and Canada drivel and he’s not even dictator yet. We’re old, retired Boomers. We don’t have much time left on this planet. We want to try and enjoy our final years without banging our heads on the wall every second and gulping down vials of antacid. After the Bush years, Trump and the pandemic we have zero faith in the this country’s institutions, zero faith in our corrupt judicial system, zero faith in our corrupt elected officials(Republicans or Democrats), zero faith in our corrupt financial system, zero faith in our corrupt healthcare, zero faith in our corrupt community leaders, zero faith in our corrupt education system, zero faith in our corrupt society, zero faith in our corrupt civilization and zero faith in humanity. We’re destroying each other and our home planet and our so called leaders won’t do anything to save it because it’s not cost effective. To all the people who voted Republican or didn’t vote at all (almost 90 million) and those who believe in putting profit over people and the environment – we’ll put this as politely as we can – SCREW YOU!!! To all our progressive and secular brethren, we wish you the best. Disconnect from social media sites like Facebook and Twitter(we refuse to call it by its new moniker), fact check everything the corporate media spews out of its vile mouth and don’t let the fascists gaslight you about Trump. As any educated historian will tell you, Trump is objectively awful. He’s a self-aggrandizing, petty, vindictive, greedy, egomaniacal, narcissistic, misogynistic, bigoted, bombastic, materialistic, callous, rude, deceitful, oppressive, pathological-lying, sociopathic bully. We all know it. Don’t let the greedy corporate media normalize him. Finally and most of all, take care of yourself. Feel free to check our archived posts if you want to get some chuckles from the stupidity of the first Trump term or the last twenty one years of GOP idiocy.

Lotsa luck, America – you’re going to need it!!!

Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.
Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.

We Need A Little Festivus Right This Very Minute

We’ll its that time of year where we trot out the Festivus Pole and air our grievances. But actually, we’re going to forego our rant parade on the state of this country until later. As we’ve mentioned throughout the year, we don’t want to continue with the Bucket anymore and we’re calling it quits. We would be doing the same thing if the Harris/Walz ticket had won. We’re preparing a final gripe session that we’ll be posting very soon. But in the meantime . . .

We’d like to wish everyone a Happy Festivus. And to all those Republican, MAGA Morons, TFG acolytes, QAnon nutbags, media enablers and everyone who voted to put the twice impeached, convicted felon, megalomaniac man child Trump back in the White House and are shamelessly promoting a fascist takeover by christian nationalists with Project 2025 . . . we think you know where you can stick the Festivus pole.

Happy Festivus aluminum pole

Project 2025 Makes It Crystal Clear

Back before the 2022 election we posted a meme on October 15,2022 which pretty much spelled it out concerning what the Republican party stood for in the 21st century. We noted that 299 out of 569 Republicans were okay with the Big Lie of election fraud promoted by the twice impeached, convicted felon and megalomaniac man child TFG. Well nowadays, the GOP is fully on board the Trump train of perpetual lies and propaganda.

Project 2025 has been exposed in the last year and it details a blueprint for the conservative Republican fascist takeover of this country. Like we’ve said all along, the conservative christian nationalists which make up today’s GOP want to turn this country into the Holy Corporate Empire and they won’t be denied because in their warped religious fevered minds, they are doing the Lord’s work. Some of the disturbing aspects of Project 2025 include: cutting overtime pay, relax worker safety rules and allow discrimination; undermine Medicare, restrict reproductive care and keep pharmaceutical prices high; eliminate funding for fighting climate change; reducing or eliminating environmental protections; limit access to food assistance programs; eliminate the Head Start program; eliminate the Department of Education; taking partisan control of the DOJ, FBI, Department of Commerce, FCC and FTC; cuts to Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security; roll back civil rights protections for all minorities, whether racial, religious or LGBTQ+; and eliminate other government agencies like NOAA, which provides vital information for the American people concerning hurricanes and tornadoes which are increasing because of climate change. So here’s a recommendation to all the MAGA Morons living in the south: to prepare for Project 2025 just ignore all the weather warnings for Hurricane Helene provided by the National Hurricane Center and just wing it with prayers and doing your own research. We’re sure that will work out just fine.

We’re becoming very fatigued with these constant threats to democracy that seem to be happening on a daily basis since Trump seized control of the corporate media apparatus. Like we’ve mentioned before, our corporatist overlords in conjunction with the main stream media are pulling the shock doctrine on their fellow Americans all in quest for absolute and total power in every aspect of our lives. With the revelation of Project 2025, the ugly truth is crystal clear: Fascism has arrived! The Republicans don’t want to govern – they want to rule with an iron fist.

Republicans don't want to govern, they want to rule with an iron fist.
Republicans don’t want to govern, they want to rule with an iron fist.

The Sheeple Still Bleat

Back in our September 6, 2018 post, we addressed the perplexing phenomenon of christians supporting Donald Trump, a man who is basically different from Jesus in every way, shape and form. We think it’s one of our better posts (click on the link above and read it) and perfectly summarizes why christians seem to follow authoritarians. Since then, Trump has only gotten worse and the MAGA Morons have officially obtained cult status with many loony tunes preachers actually stating they think TFG is the chosen one. Of course, ever the bombastic, narcissistic con man, Trump encourages them. He’s even hawking bibles for $60 a pop.

We’re going to just repeat most of that post with some changed links here because nothing has changed. Why are MAGA Morons worshipping Trump as their new Lord and Savior? Well, you can thank their teachers, pastors, priests and leaders for brainwashing them from day one to believe everything they say and that anybody who says otherwise is an agent of Satan. We’re atheists here at the Bucket, but we do abide by the golden rule, which pre-dates christianity. We were brought up in an religious environment, so we know from whence we speak. The organized christian religions are very authoritarian in nature; just look at the catholic church. The pope is considered to be infallible. That means he is never wrong and if you even suggest that he could be wrong, then you will face the consequences of excommunication or damnation in that mythical place of pain and suffering, hell. Dex Rexter, BilgeBucket editor, remembers very well the nuns searing into his young, malleable catholic brain to never, never, NEVER be a doubting Thomas or Jesus will be very upset with you and cast you into the pit of hell for all eternity. Fear is used as a weapon from day one on people in organized religious environments and used quite effectively. Just look at the art work of Hieronymous Bosch from the fifteenth century. Do what the preacher says and you’ll get to go to heaven; disobey and go to hell and get poked by demons with pitchforks. Of course, in reality, heaven and hell don’t exist. But this use of fear by religious authoritarians is the same methodology employers in corporate America get their employees to do whatever they want. They dangle that golden carrot telling their subordinates that if they work extra hard they’ll be rewarded with riches beyond their dreams, knowing full well that when the employee inevitably burns out or outlives their usefulness, they’ll be fired. Just ask the employees of Enron, Carrier or any of the other shit load of companies who’ve screwed their employees and consumers to augment the coffers of the top executives.

Another thing that is astonishingly aggravating is that many christians are anti-science and actually call critical thinking, logical and rational people who accept the truth of such things as climate change or evolution, sheeple. Really!? How ironic! Christians are the original sheeple! It’s even built into the dogma. Every christian is forced to pray the mantra “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” or think for that matter. The metaphor of Jesus as the shepherd and everyone else as the sheep is everywhere in the christian faith. That is why the congregation must do what the pastor, priest or minister tells them to do, like vote for Trump, because the self acclaimed holy men are tighter with God than the average commoner. That’s how these prosperity gospel charlatans get away with their crap and the people’s money for materialistic wealth that Jesus taught against.

Make no mistake; the Republicans have exactly who they want in the Oval Office, that is why they are sitting on their keisters why all chaos descends on the this country. Trump is the ultimate CEO; the exemplary authoritarian who barks out orders and condemns those who dissent. We ask the christian sheeple to wake up and realize that this wolf in sheep’s clothing, this golden calf, is nothing like Jesus, who preached the golden rule, to have tolerance and respect for others even if they were different and to eschew greed and materialistic wealth and to take care each other.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.
From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

The Golden Calf Still Bleats

America’s twice impeached former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump, a.k.a. TFG, is still bleating to his MAGA Moron followers how persecuted he is with some of his sheeple touting him as the new Jesus. We delivered a post back on April Fool’s Day in 2017 which pretty much sums up what Donald Trump is.

Since nothing has changed about this charlatan since then, our analysis still applies: If you make under 100k a year and you vote Republican, you are voting against your own self interests and you are a sucker and a fool. Or to put it in biblical terms, you are worshiping a modern day golden calf and that calf’s name is Donald Trump.

Donald Trump - Modern Day Golden Calf
The biblical myth of the golden calf has resurrected itself in the form of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Trump & Jeebus: Peas In A Pod

One of our features here is Capitalist Jesus where we present Jesus dressed in his best suit and tie ensemble commenting how wonderful capitalism and right wing conservative christianity is. Because nothing is more christian than the unregulated greed and selfishness brought on by unregulated capitalism. Like we’ve said before, unregulated capitalism is just indirect cannibalism. We’re killing each other for fun and profit.

Which reminds us of TFG, a.k.a. former twice impeached American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. We posted a photo-toon of Capitalist Jesus back in 2016 when TFG started running for President which pretty much sums up how hypocritical modern evangelical christians in the GOP are when it comes to supporting this pathological liar. Since Con-a-thon 2024 is basically a repeat of Con-a-thon 2020 and Trump ran during the Con-a-thon 2016, our job here is pretty easy. Since the Republican Party is rinsing and repeating with the stupidity of Donald Trump, we can rinse and repeat with our photo-toons because one thing hasn’t changes since 2016: Donald Trump is still a greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted and oppressive asshole.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

God’s Little Puppet

Mike Johnson has only been Speaker of the House for a short period of time and it already looks like he may not be long for the job. This bible-thumper actually reached across the aisle and came up with a funding bill to avoid a government shutdown which left the raving lunatics of the GOP foaming at the mouth.

We have no sympathy for this person. He’s an open christian nationalist who wants nothing more than to turn this country into a theocracy. Not only that, he’s a creationist and believes in the rapture. Like we’ve said before, if you believe that nonsense you should be permanently banned from the corridors of power. He has openly opined that he thinks God wanted him to be Speaker. Sound familiar? George W. Bush said that God wanted him to be President and now evangelical whack jobs have produced a propaganda video proclaiming that God created TFG to be America’s ‘Caretaker’.

We think that sanctimonious Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to another little bible thumper from the ’60s: little Davey from the Davey and Goliath stop motion claymation puppet show that preached the bible to kids every Sunday morning. Little Davey, along with his dog Goliath and his holier-than-thou family shoved their religion down every child’s throat. Just watch some of these old shows, especially the ‘lost episode’ about the Polka Dot Tie. The cringe is massive. And now America has a little Davey second in line for the Presidency. May Zeus help us all!

Republican Speaker of the House and christian nationalist Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to animated clay bible thumper Davey from the Davey and Goliath show of the 1960s and even has vowed to shove his religion down everyone's throat just like Davey.
Republican Speaker of the House and christian nationalist Mike Johnson bears a striking resemblance to animated clay bible thumper Davey from the Davey and Goliath show of the 1960s and even has vowed to shove his religion down everyone’s throat just like Davey.

Jan 6th: Traitor’s Day

January 6th marks the three year anniversary of the Capitol riots, Treason Day, Insurrection Day or Traitor’s Day – all names are fitting. It’s been three years since that infamous day and not one of the instigators like Paul Gosar, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Marjorie Taylor Greene have been held accountable and are still roaming free. And the biggest offender, TFG, is the leading candidate for the Republican nomination for President, which will undoubtedly turn into the office of President-for-Life, if he somehow gets re-elected this year. Sure, many of the rioters have been sentenced, but many have been given light sentences given the gravity of their offense – trying to overthrow the government!

We’re reposting our Insurrection photo-toon from our previous posts because it pretty much says it all. But like we’ve said before, this was an attempted coup to overthrow a legitimate election with almost zero voter fraud, no matter how much the Republicans claim there was! This was a dress rehearsal. If we don’t punish those responsible, the next time . . . and there will be next time, the rioters will be successful and America will cease to be a democracy!

Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.
Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.

Rewind: GOP – The Party Of Moral Values?

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The whole purpose of our 20th anniversary retrospective is to show that the Republicans haven’t just shifted to the right with TFG. They’ve been trying to make America a christian theocracy ruled by corporate America since the Bush administration. The leaders of the GOP want people to be mindless sheeple who blindly obey their leaders, work without complaint no matter what the hours, and consume corporate America’s products like automatons until they drop dead, broke and drowning in debt. So bible thumper creationist Mike Johnson coming to the fore should not be a surprise. It’s business as usual for the Republican syndicate. But it’s business as usual for Democrats as well as they’re doing now what they did in 2006; standing by and watching the Republicans self-destruct and hoping that the electorate will notice.

This article is from our July 7, 2006 edition.

House GOP Ready To Shove Values Agenda Down America’s Throat

Republican members of the House of Representatives recently released a series of bills it is calling ‘The American Values Agenda’ in hopes of energizing it’s conservative base for the fall 2006 elections. Already the first item, protecting the word ‘under God’ in the pledge of allegiance, has already gone down to defeat.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert commented on the initiative. “We feel that this is a necessity as a signal to our conservative base that we’re ready to ram the ideology of a minority of wealthy, religious individuals down the throats of the rest of America. And since this minority has a lot of bucks, we’re going to basically push these items through and character assassinate anyone who stands in our way.”

Among the gritty, pressing issues tackled by House Republicans; a vital flag-burning amendment, a crucial anti-gay marriage amendment, and an urgent cracking down on Internet gambling. Other serious topics to be considered include: protecting insurance companies from frivolous claims from greedy hurricane victims; protecting frozen embryos from evil stem cell researchers; abolishing the completely unfair estate tax which affects a whopping one percent of the population; making sure that every citizen can own and properly use an AK-47; making sure the Arctic Wildlife Refuge is drilled for that precious nine month supply of oil; and making sure that the United States of America becomes a full fledged Christian theocracy.

Democratic congresswoman from California Nancy Pelosi said that this is nothing but pandering by House Republicans. “They are taking radical right wing values and touting them as America’s values. This is nothing more than their age old tactic of distract, distort and divide. Meanwhile, the Democrats have a clear message to the American people and that is . . .we’re just going to stand by and watch Republicans self destruct.”

Vice President Dick Cheney said, “All have to say is that if you don’t support these issues, then you’re not much of an American. I mean if you voted to take the words ‘under God’ out of the pledge of allegiance, you probably watch Al-Jezeera and root for Al-Qaeda. You probably even cried when Al-Zarqawi died.” When it was pointed out that the words ‘under God’ were added to the pledge in 1954, Cheney shook his head vigorously and responded, “See! This is just another example of the biased liberal media spreading misinformation to the good sheeple . . . I mean, people of America. Where’s my shotgun?”

People expressed mixed views about the series of bills. Joe Nelson of Brighton, Massachusetts, said, “I don’t think these bills really help anyone. We’ve got huge problems in Iraq, our deficit is skyrocketing, affordable healthcare is a joke and people in New Orleans still need assistance. I think we need to solve these problems first, although I agree that we should stop Internet gambling. You should only be able to blow your money at a regular casino like normal people.”

Gladys Clary of Dennison, Iowa said, “We need to reduce our dependency on foreign oil and the only way to do that is to drill the hell out of all the available land and coastlines that we have. I don’t care about the Earth’s future. I’m old and my hummer needs gas now!”

Tom Miles of Fetid Gulch, Texas, said, “If we don’t pass these bills now, illegal immigrants will pour over our borders, burn our flags, marry farm animals and use stem cells to cure Alzheimers.”

Rewind: R U Rapture Ready?

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The recent turmoil in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestinians have the got the conservative evangelical christians thumping their bibles salivating for the end times and the rapture when all good christians will be slurped up to heaven (which is presumably somewhere in Earth’s atmosphere although no satellite photos have shown its precise whereabouts).


Of course, anytime anything goes wrong in the Middle East (which is pretty much every day) the christians scream about the end times and how Jesus is coming again. Back in July and August of 2006, the Lebanon War between Hezbollah and Israel had evangelicals sounding the alarm. But alas, the end of the world didn’t happen and nobody was raptured. The fact that at that time, legitimate news organizations like CNN would actually mention the rapture should make logical, intelligent and reasonable citizens very weary of any news organization that would promote such ridiculous bunk as the rapture. It’s kind of like entertainment shows that still feature astrologers and horoscopes. But then again, America elected Trump in 2016. Stupid is as stupid does.

This photo-toon is from our August 11, 2006 issue.

The escalation of hostilities in the Middle East has launched an obsession of talk about the Apocalypse, the end of the world and the Rapture on supposedly responsible news networks like CNN.
The escalation of hostilities in the Middle East has launched an obsession of talk about the Apocalypse, the end of the world and the Rapture on supposedly responsible news networks like CNN.