Archive for December 26, 2021

Rewind: Lunch Break Lotto

December 26, 2021 bb_admin Articles:Corporate BS

We were scanning through our archives recently and we noticed this article about the foibles of working in corporate America from our January 11, 2006 issue. You see, workers have been getting screwed for some time now and, unfortunately, this article still works for today like it did in 2006. The beat goes on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Juggermart Holds Exciting New Lottery For Lunch Breaks


In response to recent court cases complaining of its employees not being able to take lunch breaks, retail giant Juggermart, has announced a new lottery for employees to ‘win’ full half hour lunch breaks.

Lawrence T. Juggers, President and CEO of Juggermart, explained the new system. “This lottery will allow five employees per store the chance to have a full half hour lunch break for the day. A full half hour lunch break! This is great news for the employees who win. This means the lucky employee will not only be able to choke down their tuna fish sandwich, but he’ll also be able to wash it down with a refreshing beverage from one of our store soda vending machines, where every drinks sell for the low, low price of $1.00 for a 12 ounce can. The employees who don’t win will continue to get their regular ten minutes, not including rest room break. The employee will also be required to purchase their lottery ticket at the low, low price of two dollars per ticket. I mean who wouldn’t want a full half hour lunch break? With this fantastic program, geared for today’s worker, nobody can say that I’m not generous.”

Consumer advocate Clarence Simons said, “This is an outrage! Not only does Juggermart pay barely above minimum wage to it’s employees and forces them to work over forty hours a week without extra pay, they’re now stuffing this down the employee’s throat. Pretty soon the workers in this country will have no recourse whatsoever. I don’t know how Lawrence T. Juggers can sleep at night. If they didn’t have such low, low prices, I’d never shop there again.”

Employees had mixed reaction to the new ‘Lunch Lotto’ promotion. Sales clerk Dale McDougall at the Ft. Dinsdale, New Jersey store, said, “Well it would be nice to have a enough time to eat a sandwich. And to have a bathroom break so I don’t have to hold my pee all day long. And to have health care. And to see my wife and kids during waking hours. And to be able to pay my mortgage, even though I’m working seventy hours a week. But I’m just a lowly sales clerk. I’m sure Mr. Juggers knows what’s good for me better than I do.”

Cashier Fern Stack, of Juggermart’s Blythe, California store, said, “So let me get this straight. We have to pay two goddamn dollars for the lottery ticket and only five employees per store per day win a measly half hour lunch break while the rest of the employees continue to get ten friggin’minutes . . . as long as Juggermart keeps its low, low prices, I’m good!”

Store greeter Lou Farmer at the Winchester, Mississippi store, said “I’ve always wondered what it was like being a slave like my great-great-great grandfather. Now I know. Thanks Juggermart!”

Stock clerk Bessy Kuhlander at the Poedunk, Iowa store, said, “Oh, boy. I think it is a great idea. Mr. Juggers has certainly shown me why he is the boss. What a generous man. I sure hope I’m able to win the ‘Lunch Lotto’ one day and get a whole half hour to eat my lunch. I certainly hope Mr. Juggers remembers my kind words when he is filling the position of head stock clerk.”

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I’ll Be Home For Festivus

December 22, 2021 bb_admin From The Editor

Despite the fact that the new Omicron variant of the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus is spreading like wildfire around the globe and cancelling many holiday festivities for a second straight year, we’d like to wish everyone a Happy Festivus!

And to all the TFG loving, QAnon nut jobs who stormed the Capitol and the conservative christian Republicans who enable and encourage their democracy threatening antics . . . we think you know where you can stick the Festivus pole.

Happy Festivus aluminum pole
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GOP Baby Factories – a.k.a. Women

December 17, 2021 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

The right-wing dominated Supreme Court has shown their true intentions about abortion rights by recently letting stand severe abortion bans in Texas and Mississippi. We’ve been screaming about their intentions for years here at the Bucket. States with Republican leadership ranging from bible thumping states like South Dakota and Alabama to our home state of Arizona have been slowly chipping away at abortion rights over the last twenty years. Religious zealots have seized control of state and federal government and forced their horribly archaic, first century viewpoints upon the citizenry of the country because these holy huckster bible thumpers still view the woman as nothing more than a baby factory. If these people were truly pro-life, they’d realize that the woman’s life should come first. But then hypocrisy does seem to be commonplace with these sheeple. They claim to be pro-life but then fervently support gun rights. They claim to be pro-life but then violently protest getting a life saving vaccine against a disease that has claimed over 800,000 people in the US and over 5 million word wide.

We’re re-posting a photo-toon from January 11, 2006 when ol’ Dubya nominated Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. This was the beginning of the end because since then, Alito, Thomas, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett (the Handmaiden’s Justice) have formed a staunch conservative religious bloc on the court that not only wants to force women through unwanted pregnancies but also to knock down the wall between church and state, thus forcing all of us to adhere to outdated, biblical philosophy whether we like it or not. Like we’ve stated before, we’re regressing rapidly toward America becoming the Holy Corporate Empire.

Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool (a wire hanger)which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he's on the bench.
Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he’s on the bench.
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Bush’s Forever War

December 7, 2021 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

Like we mentioned in our previous post, one of the disturbing events which happened this summer was the media’s treatment of the United States’ withdrawal from the Afghanistan quagmire after twenty long frustrating years. The Taliban quickly regained controlled of the country from the sham government propped up by the U.S. and the corporate main stream media was quick to blame everything on Joe Biden despite twenty years of missteps from not only the Bush and TFG administrations but also the Obama White House.

Most Americans seem to be correctly blaming the Bush administration for the failures. But they also blame Biden which is completely wrong. Granted, the withdrawal did not go smoothly. But was that Biden’s fault? We think not. For one thing, the media seemed to gloss over the fact that TFG not only released thousands 5,000 Taliban prisoners while he was in office, he also scheduled the withdrawal immediately in 2021. Biden had only six months to make sure the very weak government of Afghanistan was in order before withdrawal thanks to TFG’s schedule. Don’t forget, TFG wasn’t too smooth with the withdrawal from Syria leaving the Kurds high and dry against not only their adversaries in Syria but also Turkey.

There have been a multitude of failures over the past twenty years in Afghanistan. After killing Osama Bin Laden, Obama had the opportunity to exit the country where empires go to die but failed to do so. The number of snafus committed by the Bush administration are legion. We never should have gotten involved in the first place. We didn’t learn our lessons from Vietnam and thanks to ol’ clueless Dubya, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and the war mongering, conservative Republicans, we ended up repeating the very same mistakes, all to make money for the military industrial complex. Considering that TFG always bitched about Bush, why didn’t he withdraw from Afghanistan during his administration? Because the Republican’s modus operandi is to boldly go nation building in impossible countries half way around the globe knowing full well that it will be impossible to leave and when Democrats get elected to clean things up, they will receive the blame, just like Biden did.

Like we said in the previous post, the corporate main stream media will throw anybody under the bus if it means money and ratings and right now they are pushing right wing talking points which are false and misleading. Biden made some mistakes, but the blame for the Afghanistan quagmire, just like the Iraq clusterf*ck falls firmly on the George W. Bush administration. Thanks Dubya! At least you’re painting pictures now instead of making more forever wars.

Much to the delight of former President George W. Bush, his buddies in the corporate main stream media have blamed current President Joe Biden for Dubya's failures in the Afghanistan quagmire.
Much to the delight of former President George W. Bush, his buddies in the corporate main stream media have blamed current President Joe Biden for Dubya’s failures in the Afghanistan quagmire.
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