2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.
Since the evangelical christians and conspiracy minded QAnon wingnuts have taken over the GOP we’ve decided to repost a BilgeBucket List from our May 31, 2006 edition when we reported on the top revelations of the movie The DaVinci Code. This film threw a lot of christan groups and conspiracy buffs into royal hissy fits. The blockbuster by Ron Howard, based on the novel of the same name by Dan Brown, opened to huge box office numbers. Its opening week raked in $224 million worldwide. The controversial book elicited complaints from the Catholic Church and other christian organizations because it speculates that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene and has descendants walking among us today. But there were other juicy tidbits as well. So, here are those shocking and totally not made up revelations in no particular order.
- Jesus and Mary Magdalene had two children named Wally and ‘The Beav’
- Peter always walked around au natural at meetings which annoyed all the other apostles except James . . . Hmmmmm
- The beverage served at the Last Supper: Zima
- Emperor Constantine legalized Christianity at the Council of Nicaea in 325 A.D. and also penned the classic Disco hit “Get Down Tonight”
- Zeus is the one true God
- Jesus liked to wear his hair in braids, adorn himself with bling and rap with his homies when he wasn’t performing miracles
- JFK was killed by space aliens
- Judas annoyingly ended everybody’s sentences by saying “That’s what she said!”
- The Mona Lisa was smiling because DaVinci’s fly was open while he was painting her
- The world was created by leprechauns
- Opus Dei members get a special member discount at Walmart
- Elvis is alive and well and managing a Burger King in Tuscaloosa
- The original message scribbled under the Mona Lisa: “So Dark The Wrath of Khan”
- The Holy Grail is actually a big ass beer stein located in Munich’s Hofbrau House
- Black helicopters are really more of a midnight blue
- The current Grand Master of The Priory of Sion: Pauly Shore
