Archive for Coming Soon To A Theater Near You

The Untouchables: 2018

Paul Manafort is the latest former associate of Donald Trump to flip and it has many speculating as to whether this is the beginning of the end for the orange haired man child who is America’s CEO/Dictator. Most people agree that things aren’t looking good for Trump, but then again things have never looked good for the Donald during his entire disastrous presidency and yet he is still — unfrickingbelievably — president.

This whole clusterf*cked trauma brings to mind for us old farts here at the Bucket, the early 1960s crime drama The Untouchables starring Robert Stack as Eliot Ness, which has been constantly played in syndication on TV for the last fifty years. In the episodes, Ness and his band of incorruptible G-men pursued noted criminal gangsters like Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti and the kingpin, Al Capone.  The lead-in and ending graphic for the show was very stylistic and combined with the iconic theme music, set the mood perfectly for the drama. We can just imagine a possible reality reboot of the show with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid team of FBI agents as they descend on Trump Tower to bring to justice members of the Republican crime syndicate like Manafort, Michael Cohen and of course, the dear leader, the real Alphonse Capone of the 21st century, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

Rewind: 3:16 To Tehran

This is our final post in our brief Coming Soon To A Theater Near You retrospective…

Here’s a theater poster from our October 28, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production 3:16 to Tehran starring George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as Mo. Yep, the conservative christian Republicans, led by John McCain are still banging the drums for war against Iran and the rest of the Islamic world. If only those Muslims would convert to christianity…

George W. Bush is on a mission from God to spread christian love to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Iran in missile form.

3:16 to Tehran: Super christian George W. Bush is on a mission from God as he and fellow neocon Dick Cheney try to convert Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Iran to christianity. Will his message of love from the book of John work in missile form? All aboard for the 3:16 to Tehran! Rated R for Rapturous.

Rewind: Transformers Of The Middle East

Continuing with our brief Coming Soon To A Theater Near You retrospective…

Here’s a theater poster from our July19, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production Transformers of the Middle East starring Dick ‘Rustbucket’ Cheney, Condoleezza ‘Chevtron ‘ Rice and George W. Bush as Lil’ DubDub, the chief Neocon transformer of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice invade Iraq with one mission: to transform the Middle East come Hell or the Apocalypse. Let the Quagmire Commence!

Transformers of the Middle East: Neocon transformers George W. Bush (Lil' DubDub), Dick Cheney(Rustbucket) and Condoleeza Rice(Chevtron) invade Iraq to transform it and the rest of the Middle East into an oil producing heaven for the west. Will they succeed or will they fan the flames of hatred and start an apocalyptic quagmire from which America will never recover. Rated R for Reprehensible.

Rewind: Republican Without A Clue

Back in the day, we had a feature here at the Bucket called Coming Soon To A Theater Near You, where we’d showcase upcoming movies you may not have heard about from that nasty, liberal media. We’ve decided to showcase these gems again, mostly our own entertainment…but hopefully you readers will enjoy them as well.

Here’s a theater poster from our April 21, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production Republican Without A Clue starring good ol’ Dubya, the chief decider of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War.

Republican Without A Clue: Blue blooded frat boy, George W. Bush, becomes President thanks to some shenanigans by his governor brother Jeb. Now, Dubya's the decider and hilarity ensues when he decides to invade Iraq against the advice of everyone with half a brain.

Republican Without A Clue: Blue blooded frat boy, George W. Bush, becomes President thanks to some shenanigans by his governor brother Jeb. Now, Dubya's the decider and hilarity ensues when he decides to invade Iraq against the advice of everyone with half a brain. Starring George W. Bush. Filmed in Neoconvision. Rated PG for Pretty Gawdawful.