Tag Archive for corporate

Salve, Arrivederci Mooch!

Back in 2006, when the Bush administration took a thumping in the November elections, we were of the opinion that there would never be a White House as screwed up as Bush’s. We were wrong. To say the Trump White House is chaotic is as obvious as saying the sun is hot. Every damn day, something new is being mucked up.

Last week, in an effort to dispose of leaks in the Trump White House, America’s CEO/Dictator hired Antony Scaramucci, an up and coming financier and entrepreneur who promised to rid the White House of spies and leakers.  Scaramucci, or the Mooch as he likes to be called, promptly gave a profanity laden tirade against the leakers saying Reince Priebus was a “f*cking paranoid schizophrenic” and Steve Bannon likes to “suck his own c*ck”. He and Trump then promptly fired everyone’s favorite whipping boy, chief of staff, Reince Priebus.  Then Priebus showed what a sycophantic putz he was by saying “I’m always going to be a Trump fan. I’m on Team Trump, and I look forward to helping him achieve his goals and his agenda for the American people.” Geez! What an idiot!

Well, it turns out that the new chief of staff, John Kelly, doesn’t really like the Mooch, so guess what? Ol’ Moocher is gone. Wow! And we thought Michael Flynn’s tenure was short. Apparently, John Kelly, who is a former Marine general, is a bit of an authoritarian. So he’ll fit in just fine with Trump’s authoritarian regime. Will Kelly be an effective ringleader of this multi-ring clusterf*ck circus that is the Trump administration? Now we think Kelly is by far, a better choice than Priebus, but based on the six months of stunning ineptitude displayed so far, we’re kind of skeptical.

 World class profanity artist, Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. the Mooch, lasted just ten days as communications director before America's CEO/Dictator fired him in true Trumpian fashion.

World class profanity artist, Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. the Mooch, lasted just ten days as communications director before America’s CEO/Dictator gave him the ol’ heave ho in true Trumpian fashion.

Trumpf Youth

A strange thing happened recently on the campaign trail with Donald Trump. Normally, the previous sentence would have people scratching their heads in befuddlement. Campaign trail? It’s mid 2017; the election is over. But this is the Trump administration, where absurdity is the new normal. Trump is already campaigning for 2020 and this is a prime opportunity to try and strengthen the Trump authoritarian, fascist brand.

So anyway, Trump made an appearance at the annual Boy Scout Jamboree, an event where all the Boy Scouts get together and celebrate scouting. But when America’s CEO/Dictator showed up, he made  it all about…(drumroll please)…himself. Big surprise, right. Well, the orange rage monster decided to smear his political rivals as well…to a bunch of pre-teens and teens. They were there to talk about camping, scouting and community service and they got a rambling rant about the ‘evils’ of Obamacare, Hillary Clinton and ‘fake news’. Obama and Hillary even got booed at the mention of their names.

Trump even noted how big the crowd was and how wonderful it was that 40,000 people showed up. But they showed up for the jamboree, not Donald Trump. It’s an annual event. Like Stephen Colbert pointed out, it’s like Trump showing up for the Super Bowl and commenting how many people were there to see him. They would be there to see the football game, not some orange haired megalomaniac dictator bloviate and self aggrandize. The Boy Scouts of America officially issued an apology for Trump’s remarks.

What’s so unnerving about this is that Donald Trump seems to be following the strategy of another cultish, right wing conservative buffoon named Adolf Hitler. Yeah, yeah we know all about Godwin’s Law. And if you follow the above link and take a look at our handy dandy fascist checklist, you’ll see the modern day Republicans have a frightening similarity to the NSDAP party from 1930’s Germany. Trump is staging campaign rallies around the United States in non-election years to push conservative propaganda and build up support for his brand. Now he is trying to lure the youth of America into following his party’s narrow minded ideology. The best time to brainwash a mind is when it is young, innocent and impressionable as all religions, cults and authoritarian regimes know. We wouldn’t be surprised at all if Trump starts a Trump Youth or a Trump Scouts organization because it’s right in line with the GOP’s brand of right wing authoritarianism.

P.S. We make fun of our own Senator John McCain here…a lot. But we have to give him props for voting against the ‘skinny’ Obamacare repeal last night along with GOP moderates Susan Collins(ME) and Linda Murkowski(AK), thus putting an end to the Republicans horrible healthcare repeal bill. Jeff Flake, however… well Mr. Flake will get his comeuppance in the November 2018 election.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is now recruiting impressionable kids to join the Trumpf Youth, where children will learn valuable skills like lying about your taxes, colluding with hostile foreign governments and grabbing women by the pussy.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is now recruiting impressionable children to join the Trumpf Youth, where kids will learn valuable skills like lying about your taxes, colluding with hostile foreign governments and grabbing women by the pussy.

Trump Fatigue Syndrome

The dog days of summer are here in America and people are sweating their arsenals off in every corner of the U.S. The monsoon season is upon us here in Arizona which means the normally dry air with <10% humidity, is now a swamp like 30-50%. Our energy levels are zilch. While we’re feeling the draining effects of the heat and humidity, we’re also suffering from something more insidious: Trump Fatigue Syndrome. Yes, we are so god damn sick and tired of this stupid President and his daily scandals, lies, deception and bullshit, that even hilarious commentary from comedians like Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and Samantha Bee isn’t helping. Even the news that Sean Spicer is resigning brings us no joy.

One reason is that we keep hearing that the shit is going to hit the fan real soon. But we’ve been hearing that for five months now. Nothing is happening, which gives us a nauseous feeling that justice will not be served. We just hope the scenario depicted in this photo-toon Meme-rie eventually plays out. It was originally a photo-toon featuring disgraced Bush administration member Scooter Libby from our March 11th issue in 2007. But we like to recycle here at the Bucket, so voila…here’s the Donald getting a special welcoming from his new bunkmate. In short: LOCK HIM UP!!!!  

P.S. If you’re thinking of visiting Arizona, do not come in July and August. See our old Cactus Corners Forecast category posts for clarification.

Donald Trump's new cellmate and friendly, loyal assistant asks if he likes spooning.

The only cure for Trump Fatigue Syndrome is placing the Donald in a new luxury residence complete with a friendly, loyal assistant.

Pepe Trump’s War On Truth

American CEO/Dictator Donald ‘Pepe’ Trump started a war on the press when he was a candidate. He proclaimed that he was the only one America could trust and that the media was biased against him. The sheeple who voted for him bought his bullshit hook, line and sinker. What’s amazing is that it’s been two years since Trump officially started campaigning for President and some people are still buying his bullshit; that’s he’s the bastion for truth, justice and the American way. He’s claiming that the press, especially CNN, is out to get him and that the real enemy of the people is the media.

This is just rinsing and repeating for the GOP. They did the same thing during the Bush administration led by the ‘truth warriors’ at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican propaganda network (at least Fox has dropped their ridiculous slogan ‘fair and balanced’.) Rush Limbaugh has made a career of railing against the ‘liberal media’ conveniently overlooking the blatant lies that he and other right wing ‘journalists’ promote as the truth.

Trump’s war on the media is insidious and incredibly dangerous for a free society. Freedom of the press is one of the cornerstones of our democracy. Everything Trump has said and done so far in his presidency has brought nothing but doubt and derision upon him from sane people, which explains why his approval ratings are so low. We have no doubt that Pepe will continue croaking his ‘fake news’ diatribe and we have no doubt that his acolytes will continue to bask in it and enable him like the sheeple they are.

When you want fake news and a never ending supply of bullshit, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!

When you want fake news and a never ending supply of bullshit, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!

Making Fascism Palatable

Since Donald Trump has ascended as America’s CEO/Dictator, we’ve noticed several things happening in the main stream media. One of the most obvious moves is the hiring of former Fox News personnel by main stream corporate media outlets. MSNBC has hired not only former Fox ‘journalist’ Greta Van Sustern but also Megyn Kelly. For those of you with the gnat like memory of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, we’ll briefly recap Megyn Kelly’s rise to fame as the most palatable conservative ‘journalist’.

She made a name for herself during the 2016 Presidential campaign by drawing the ire of Donald Trump. This was of course political theater; the Republicans doing a typical good cop-bad cop routine trying to show that Republicans are capable of harshly questioning other Republicans. Megyn played her part very well and for that she was rewarded with a job at MSNBC, where she now has been given a primo spot during NBC’s prime time where she gets to interview top news makers of the the day – and by news makers we mean top conservative news makers of the day. She recently did a much ballyhooed interview with Russian president Vladimir Putin. Last week she did an interview with right wing wack job and Donald Trump chum, Alex Jones. Why is Megyn doing these interviews? One simple, obvious, transparent reason; to make conservative, right wing, authoritarian fascism more palatable to the American public.

In an encouraging piece of news, her ratings have been abysmal. But we don’t doubt that she will soon have President Trump on to boost her ratings. Together they will make America embrace fascism whether they like it or not.

Megyn Kelly's new task as most palatable conservative propagandist is to make right wing wackos like Alex Jones acceptable to the American public.

Conservative ‘journalist’ Megyn Kelly, is using her new post in the main stream media to make right wing wackos like Alex Jones more palatable to the American public.

Stonewall Sessions

One of the more annoying characters in Donald Trump’s cavalcade of sycophants is Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. We’ve commented before about his racism and lying under oath. Well there was more deceit on display last week as our top justice did his best to obstruct justice.

During testimony last week in the investigation into the GOP’s ties with Russia during the 2016 election, Sessions stonewalled and did his best St. Ronald Reagan “I don’t recall” spiel. How did it go? Well, the Republicans, like always smirked their way through it, slapping themselves on the back at how cleverly they can deceive the American public, just like they’re doing with their healthcare plan.

But what’s bothersome is that our attorney general, who is supposed to be our top administrator of justice is obstructing justice at every turn. If he and Donald Trump did obstruct justice by firing James Comey, then that is grounds for impeachment. But Newt Gingrich already has a defense lined up. He stated this week that the President cannot possibly obstruct justice, even though he pursued Bill Clinton for two years because he lied about having sex. In a nutshell, it’s okay when Republicans obstruct justice and commit perjury and commit treason…ad infinitum.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, displays his gnat like memory while performing some Jackson-esque stonewalling.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, displays his gnat like memory while performing some truly Jackson-esque stonewalling.

Trump’s Cabinet Praise-a-thon

In one of the strangest events in the Trump administration so far (and that’s saying a lot), this past week, America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, held a praise-a-thon of sorts where his cabinet members gathered not to discuss policy; not to discuss world or domestic affairs; but to lavish praise and worship upon their illustrious leader. In something out of the Roman Empire, Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, North Korea or any other authoritarian state, adult men and women actually had to kiss the gigantic ass and stroke the colossal ego of Donald Trump.

Folks, this is not normal in a functioning representative democracy. We can’t remember any cabinet of any recent president, even doofus extraordinaire, George W. Bush, meeting just to lavish praise upon him like he was Julius Caesar. These are the actions of radical, authoritarians who want freedom and justice for only the rich, holy and the powerful; or in other words the Holy Corporate Empire.

Members of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's cabinet meet to kiss the massive ass and stroke the gigantic ego of The Leader.

Members of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s cabinet meet to kiss the massive ass and stroke the gigantic ego of The Leader.

Maverick Gibberish

As we mentioned last post, John McCain made a complete fool of himself in the testimony of James Comey. Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we feel it’s our responsibility to take him to task and ridicule him for the doddering fool he’s become. Honestly, how this befuddled old man won another term as Senator is beyond us.

First of all, McCain presented himself, after Trump got elected, to be the voice of reason in the GOP. After all, Trump said during the campaign that he liked soldiers that didn’t get captured, a hard slap in the face to the former POW. So McCain was none too happy about Trump becoming President where he himself failed in 2008.  But McCain is a stalwart authoritarian conservative. He and fellow ‘moderate’ Lindsay Graham, are pulling the good cop-bad cop routine on the American press and public and unfortunately people are buying their bullshit. Remember, he did this to great effect back in 2004; so much so that people actually speculated that John Kerry might choose him as a running mate. He’s also convinced many people that he’s a ‘maverick’ despite his stodgy, conservative stance on just about everything. So he’s an expert at manipulating the media, just like many of the Republicans are.

McCain has said to the press that he is very worried about Trump’s possible ties to Russia. And then when is comes time to shine at James Comey’s hearing, he acts like the goofy old prospector we like to portray him as in our photo-toons. Then he turns around and says Obama was a better leader than Trump and then two days later denies he said it, which makes him look even more confused. The only thing John McCain has convinced us of is that he’s nothing but a partisan tool, but then again we realized that back in 2004. Can we trust John McCain to put country before party? In a simple, prospector-esque word: NOPE! 

During last week's Senate testimony hearing, Arizona’s Senior Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, babbles incoherently in old prospector gibberish while James Comey replies in 1950s boy scout gibberish.

During last week’s Senate testimony hearing, Arizona’s Senior Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, babbles incoherently in old prospector gibberish while James Comey replies in 1950s boy scout gibberish.

A Confederacy Of Nincompoops

The biggest media circus of the 21st century has commenced. The hearing about possible connections of the Trump campaign with Russia during the presidential election and Trump’s possible obstruction of justice in preventing further investigation into the matter has started and all eyes are on former FBI director James Comey, who’s already released some pretty damning evidence already.

We’re not big fans of James Comey. He knew Trump may have colluded with Russia on hacking the election and he chose to instead bring up Hillary Clinton’s non scandal with the email server before the election, which many believe, including us, tilted the election in Trump’s favor. In our minds, he’s a nincompoop (old timer staff member Chester Einstein loves that funny old word.) He deserved to get fired. But now he’s in a position where the sane people of the United States have to rely on him to bring down a dangerously insane President.

Will Comey’s testimony amount to something? Could this be the end of the Trump White House? We here at the Bucket would like nothing more than to see all the Republicans responsible for Trump becoming President go to a maximum security prison with cellmates named Bubba who like to spoon…a lot. But unfortunately, and we hate to be dubious downers about this —- it’s already shaping up to being nothing more than spectacle. Top Republicans are already spinning up tornadoes of excuses for Trump. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said that Trump was just inexperienced and didn’t know the protocol. Arizona Senator and crusty old curmudgeon, John McCain, who was supposed so concerned over the possibility of Russia interfering in the election, struck out in his questioning of Comey, preferring to ask nonsensically about Hillary Clinton’s emails. The pattern looks to be set. As long as Republicans are in charge, they will not harm other Republicans. They have deliberately chosen to put party before country. Period!

Trump is the ideal distraction for conservative Republicans to ram their filthy, cruel, narrow minded, ideological agenda through congress. While the media and the American public are currently busy gawking at the Trump and Comey confederacy of nincompoops, the Republicans in the House just passed a bill that would rescind the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform Law from 2010, thus opening the door for the same kind of financial malfeasance which brought upon the Great Recession. Senate Republicans are also close on repealing Obamacare. With the Republicans in charge, one thing is for sure; democracy in this country is so screwed.

Apparently, Americans have to depend on one nincompoop to defend us from another more colossal nincompoop. Ahhhh! Democracy in the 21st century!

Apparently, Americans have to depend on one nincompoop to defend us from another more colossal nincompoop. Ahhhh! Democracy in the 21st century!

 

Onward Christian Thugs

America’s CEO/Dictator has returned from his first trip abroad and it turns out that with the exception of authoritarian Saudi Arabia, Russia and perhaps Israel, the rest of the world despises the orange haired, megalomaniac rage monster as much as we do.

But despite the ongoing investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia, his base supporters are still trumpeting his greatness. In an eerie parallel to the militias which rose up with the right wing National Socialist Party in 1930’s Germany, there appears to be a rise in right wing thuggery in American, seemingly as a response to the growing likelihood of some kind of legal action against Trump. There’s the GOPer in Texas threatening to shoot their colleagues, in ‘self defense’ of course. There’s a Republican in Oregon suggesting that white supremacists militias need to form to protect Republicans in the wake of the murderous rampage of a lunatic right winger in Portland.

But probably the oddest endorsement of thuggery was from evangelical preacher David Daubenmire, who proudly proclaimed that all christians should show some of that famous christian love of Jesus and start bashing some skulls. They’ll know we are christians by our love, indeed.

Could it be that the Republicans would endorse the formation of militias to defend Trump? Some Trump supporters look like they’re going to support their supreme leader to the bitter end, just like certain right wing conservatives did in Germany in the 30s and 40s and we know that did not end well.

Some members of the redneck intelligentsia discuss healthcare, golf and the possibility of hanging with their illustrious leader at his exclusive resort.

Some members of the redneck intelligentsia discuss healthcare, golf and the possibility of hanging with their illustrious leader at his exclusive resort.