Tag Archive for corporate

Trump’s New Supreme Lackey

To no one’s surprise America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, picked a right wing conservative to be his new Supreme Court justice. Super catholic, Brett Kavanaugh, would give the Court a decidedly conservative and catholic lean for the next generation.

Of course, the media pundits and supposed experts are squawking and blathering about what all this means. There’s even news that departing justice, Anthony Kennedy even hand picked his successor. Most people are speculating that Roe v. Wade will likely be overturned, thus forcing women who may want to terminate a pregnancy for health reasons into back alley abortions or to use a coat hanger just like the good old days prior to the 1970s. We guess the life of the mother isn’t important at all to supposedly pro-lifers. Talk about your compassionate christian conservatism.

But we think it’s pretty clear that Trump chose Kavanaugh, because of his supposed enlightened stance on presidential privilege. Kavanaugh was member of Ken Starr’s team that sought impeachment against Bill Clinton and said at that time that no president was above the law. But apparently the young religious zealot had an epiphany while working in the Bush White House and believes that the president is above the law, especially if he’s Republican, which comes in handy with the ongoing Russia probe. So if and when Trump is found guilty of collusion with Russia and treason, he’ll really be innocent because…you know…conservative Republicans are never wrong and should never be punished (see Watergate, Iran-Contra affair, Iraq War, etc…).

Supreme Court justice nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, proudly proclaims that America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is above the law and cannot possibly be guilty of crimes he may have committed like collusion or treason.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, guarantees he won’t have to go to jail by choosing right wing authoritarian and religious zealot, Brett Kavanaugh, as the new Supreme Court justice.

Space Cadet Trump Of The Space Force

One of the more curious things Trump has done lately is to promote a future branch of military in outer space called the Space Force. We say curious because Trump doesn’t give a rat’s ass about science or space. The only reason he’s doing this is obvious: more distractions so that the Republican wrecking machine can keep on destroying our government. The GOP currently has their sites set on Social Security and Medicare cuts.

We’ve commented before about about space exploration. Sure, maintaining satellite safety and cleaning the ever growing field of space debris is important.  Space.com has an excellent article about whether or not a Space Force and the militarization of space is a good idea or not. We believe the exploration of space is perfect for robots, drones and other mechanical and electronic machines. But we also think that humans are not equipped to live in space and these proposals for any country to build space stations in orbit around the moon, or colonies on the moon or Mars are a colossal waste of money and a disaster waiting to happen for any nation which chooses to pursue this endeavor. Like we’ve said before in the link referenced above, the best spaceship possible is planet Earth.

We also think that in Trump’s obtuse, non-scientific mind, the idea of a Space Force is more like Star Wars, Star Trek, The Jetsons and a dash of The Simpsons all mashed together. So, we’re looking forward to more incredible space adventures from America’s ace Space Cadet, Donald Trump of the Space Force.

American CEO/Dictator and ace Space Cadet of the Space Force, Donald Trump, boldly proves that scientists are wrong and the vacuum of space is just fake news and is really full of space air.

American CEO/Dictator and ace Space Cadet, Donald Trump, promises his sheep-like followers plenty o’ space adventures in the future if they join the Space Force.

Melania: We Don’t Care About You Anymore

Believe it or not, we’ve got standards here at the Bucket. We usually don’t poke fun at the family of a politician unless they themselves are politicians. We did have fun with the Bush twins(they were adults) and Laura Bush during Dubya’s regime and likewise with Michelle Obama. But Sasha and Malia were off limits as is Barron Trump. We did do one photo-toon with Trump’s children Eric, Donald Jr. and Ivanka, but again, they are adults. We also aren’t going to waste our time mocking them because…quite frankly…they’re aren’t worth it.

We’ve refrained from poking fun at First Lady Melania Trump because she seems to be truly miserable in her current position. Of all the Trumps, she seemed to be the one person who maybe, just maybe had a heart. We thought that until last week proved otherwise…hugely.

As she took off to visit the immigration camps last week, she chose to wear a jacket which had emblazoned on its back “I don’t really care, do u?” Now, Ms. Trump is really rich. She’s got tons of jackets from which to choose. This should’ve been a no-brainer. But apparently she’s as cold and ruthless as her husband. She could have chosen a less offensive item of clothing. But no. She chose to be a troll. Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt would’ve warn a jacket like that? Do you think the recently deceased Barbara Bush would’ve worn a jacket like that? No – of course not. They were human beings. Well, we’ve decided to take Melania off our personal do-not-disturb list and reward her for her truly ugly display of intolerance. We think, because of her action, she resembles a horse’s ass. But honestly, the horse’s ass wears that jacket much better.

Dear Melania Trump: We don't care about you anymore. P.S. The horse's ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Dear Melania Trump: We don’t care about you anymore. P.S. The horse’s ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Coming Soon: The Aryan Bakery

There is so much crap happening every day with Donald Trump, that it’s impossible to keep up with all that is occurring. We’ve had this photo-toon almost ready to go for two weeks now but something new crap has been coming forth pushing this news to the back burner. Ahhhh! Life during the Trump administration.

The Supreme Court recently decided in favor of a baker who decided against baking a cake for a same sex customer. So this pretty much opens the door for a business to discriminate against the customer if said customer’s life style or beliefs offends the shop owner’s beliefs. Didn’t Jesus teach tolerance? Didn’t he teach against discrimination, you know – what so ever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me? This action and the recent activity of separating migrant children from their parents indefinitely is just another example proving today’s so called christians are nothing but hypocrites.

But this court decision just bit the right wing in the butt because it can go both ways, too. Just last week, Chief White House Lying Liar, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was refused service by a restaurant in Virginia because she works for Trump and was asked to leave. So what goes around comes around. If the conservative Republicans want discrimination everywhere, guess what: they’ve got it. It looks like soon we’ll have stores for certain clientele only. Unfortunately, that’s not what America is supposed to be about. One thing’s for sure: Donald Trump is most definitely not uniting this country.

In Donald Trump's America, soon straight, white, christian merchants can discriminate against anyone they please, which is a bit hypocritical from the teachings of Jesus.

In Donald Trump’s America, soon straight, white, christian merchants can discriminate against anyone they please, which is a bit hypocritical from the teachings of Jesus.

Bible Babble

The crap keeps coming at a fast and furious pace from the Trump administration, so it’s tough to keep up, folks. Among the myriad of events that occurred this past week is one where Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, boldly stepped to the microphone, thumped his bible and used a bible quote to justify separating children from their parents at the border and detaining them indefinitely, just like his Confederate ancestors did with the slaves and the Nazis did with Jews and other aliens they viewed as inferior. This is not new for right wing authoritarian fascists, who are obsessed with immigrants. We did a photo-toon back in 2014 where Capitalist Jesus said ‘Let the Children Suffer’ which covers the hypocrisy of the christian right wing. Electoral-vote.com provided an excellent analysis of the whole disgusting affair that covers all the bases very well, so we won’t rehash it here.

What we’ll focus on is why a United States lawmaker is using bible quotes for justifying law in 21st century America. Like the electoral-vote post says, when people quote the bible for justifying something, inevitably it devolves into just another game of dueling scripture. Why do we still give credence to text written by early Iron Age or even late Bronze Age ‘wisemen’ who, compared with today’s knowledge base, knew absolutely nothing about the world or the universe as it really is. We’ve mentioned before about how a person who accepts science is much more knowledgeable about everything because the science enthusiast accesses a much bigger database of knowledge than a religious person, who is obsessed with connecting to an antiquated and relatively small database. This latest example just shows that if the bible says that we should separate children from their parents for an indefinite period, then maybe the bible isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe we should probably be using some updated source of wisdom to help us make decisions in the 21st century and beyond.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III justifies separating children from parents by thumping his bible.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, lamely explains why separating children from parents for an indefinite period is right in line with the bible, which for some reason is now being used as the law of the United States.

Trump’s New Tough Guy Alliance

The Trump-Kim summit has concluded and there’s some strange and disturbing things that have become crystal clear. One is that, apparently Trump has decided to end our alliance with freedom loving western democracies like France, Germany, Canada and Britain. His disrespect of those countries leaders during the G7 summit couldn’t have been more obvious. Then he proclaimed that Russia should be invited back into the group, again avoiding any kind of bad mouthing of authoritarian Vladimir Putin, who has repeatedly repressed free speech and press in Russia as that country’s dear Leader since the 20th century.

Trump’s kind words for Kim Jong Un also brought concern since the North Korean dictator has proven to be a very cruel authoritarian leader in his own country. Trump even said that he wants the people of the United States to treat him the same way North Koreans treat their dear Leader; with awe and reverence. Most analysts conclude that this was clearly a victory for Kim. Trump’s actions have elevated a tin horn dictator to a seat at the adult table with the big boys of the world. So basically, we’ve made North Korea and Russia great and relevant.

So, America’s new tough guy allies are authoritarian dictatorships, North Korea and Russia. These are countries that value only true devotion to their leader and democratic institutions like free speech and freedom of the press are suppressed and punished with extreme cruelty and even death. The fact that so many Republicans are drinking the Kool-Aid and signing up for the ‘cult of Trump’ is truly alarming. Trump is looking more and more like a certain WWII dictator from Germany to us. Please refer to our handy dandy right wing conservative fascist checklist to see for yourself.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, introduces America's swell new allies, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and Russian strongman, Vlad Putin, who are super cool, way funny, bigly sexy and pretty gosh darn tough.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, introduces America’s swell new allies, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and Russian strongman, Vlad Putin, who are super cool, way funny, bigly sexy and pretty gosh darn tough.

The G7 Nadir

Once again, America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has embarrassed America on the world stage; this time at the recent G7 summit conference in Quebec, Canada. In one weekend, Trump managed to insult our trusted allies and at the same time strengthen support for his old pal Vlad Putin in Russia. He vilified Canada…that’s right, Canada… and their leader Justin Trudeau for talking back to the U.S. because of Trump’s recent decision to increase tariffs. Seriously, folks; Trump was all kind of crazy with his statements. German chancellor, Angela Merkel, was equally distressed about the experience. The summit made it clear to the world that Trump exists to make Russia great again.

That’s right, folks. Trump was all love when it came to talking up Russia and trying to get them readmitted to the summit meetings, thus making them the G8 again. But the reason Russia was dismissed from the group in the first place was because they invaded the Ukraine and annexed Crimea. But of course, Trump didn’t even mention this is his commentary. Why? Russia must really have something on Trump for him to blow off our old allies like France, Germany, Britain, Japan, Italy and Canada – you know, democracies – and embrace authoritarian countries like Russia and now North Korea. We’re thinking future economic conferences will very soon be called the G6 summit with Trump deciding that the United States is going to take its ball and go home because it has to play nice with other countries.

One thing that we like from the conference was that Trudeau massively trolled Trump by giving him a framed picture of a hotel in Canada that was run by Trump’s grandfather. It turns out the hotel was a brothel. Yes, the lust for vamps is in Trump’s genes.

We also love the viral photo from the conference which shows what a petulant man-child Trump really is. If clearly shows that if he doesn’t get his way, then he acts like a complete crybaby. We’ve decided to speculate that the picture was taken while ordering some vittles.

When confronted with the choice of pepperoni and mushrooms on his pizza, American CEO/Dictator and petulant man-child Donald Trump courageously threatens to leave the G7 summit, if he can't have a cheeseburger.

In true Trumpian fashion, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man-child, Donald Trump, makes a valiant, cross-armed stand for American values at the recent G7 summit.

The King And Queen Of Pain

Gina Haspel was narrowly approved by the Senate last week to be the new CIA director despite being grilled for being a supposed proponent of torture during the Bush Administration. Lawmakers repeatedly asked her if she would protest if perhaps Trump wanted to restart interrogation techniques such as waterboarding to which she basically did what all conservative Republicans do; avoid answering the question. You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney reemerges from his lair and states with Haspel in charge, the U.S. should restart harsh interrogations.

Of course, the Trump administration denies that Trump wants to resume the torture program, despite stating many times that he would definitely reinstate the method because “it works”. Perhaps Haspel can initiate a new torture method involving spanking with a Forbes magazine. We’re sure our megalomaniac, liar-in-chief would volunteer for that and maybe confess everything about lying on his taxes, his affair with Stormy Daniels, any collusion with Russia and the 3001 other deceptions he’s thrown at the public since his inauguration.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Trump Gets Respect…From Clowns

At a recent rally in a packed middle school gymnasium (you know those things seat tens of thousands of people) in Elkhart, Indiana, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, cajoled the crowd with how they’ve made America ‘respectable’ again. Oh Really???!!! According to Newsweek, global respect for America has dropped to an all-time low under Trump. The willingness of other countries to trust the U.S. is also on the wane because of Trump. Only three countries, Greece, Hungary and Nigeria, saw a positive uptick for America. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has pretty much stated that Europe can no longer depend on America because of Trump. And Trump’s disastrous plan to pull out of the Iran deal has been met with almost universal condemnation. Top E.U. official Donald Tusk, has even said that “with friends like that, who needs enemies?” in reference to Trump.

So we don’t know what Trump and Mike Pence have been smoking but they are seriously delusional. About the only group (other than Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network) that Trump has won the respect of are professional clowns. That is because the daily actions of the orange haired man-child in the White House are making them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Giuliani: The Melting Man

Former mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani has returned to the spotlight recently and just as quickly may be returning to oblivion. Giuliani was hired to be on America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump’s legal team after Ty Cobb resigned. Giuliani immediately stuck his foot in his big mouth by making the rounds in the media and stating that Trump did pay back the hush money to Michael Cohen that he doled out to porn actress Stormy Daniels, which promptly proves that Trump lied about not knowing anything about hush money payments. In each of Giuliani’s television appearances, he appeared completely out of sorts, yelling at times and appearing completely bamboozled and lost. We think the term ‘meltdown’ is very appropriate. He reminded us of the famous face melting scene of Major Arnold Toht in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Of course, we’ve never really understood why Giuliani was so popular. True, he was mayor of New York during 9/11 and he displayed a calmness through the resulting tumult that was reassuring. But beyond that…zilch. He always seemed like a bit of a mobster and he’s certainly acting like it now. At least he fits in with the Trump administration, which has been one embarrassing event after another since January 16, 2017. Mr. Giuliani’s media tour has been a complete fiasco. He has proven he is incompetent enough to be associated with Donald Trump. Way to go, Rudy!

Hot from his recent media meltdowns, Trump lawyer Rudy Guliani bears a striking resemblance to the melty face Major Arnold Toht from the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Hot from his recent media meltdowns, Trump lawyer Rudy Guliani bears a striking resemblance to the melty face Major Arnold Toht from the Raiders of the Lost Ark.