Tag Archive for corporate

Moscow Mitch; Or Moscow’s Bitch

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, has been in the headlines a lot lately. Apparently poor little Mitchy doesn’t like his new nickname, ‘Moscow Mitch’, given to him for his refusal to pass election security bills that would ensure Russia doesn’t interfere with the 2020 elections like they did in 2016. Why would anyone, especially a United States Senator, want a hostile foreign nation to interfere with our democratic elections?

Well, Turtle Boy knows that without Russian help, Republicans have no hope of winning. Ever since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in the presidential elections once – that’s right folks – one time(2004). The only reason they’re even competitive in the House of Representatives is because districts are so gerrymandered by GOP controlled states that Republicans have a distinct advantage over Democratic candidates. Even Robert Mueller warned of Russian interference in his recent testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. The Russians hacked elections in all fifty states in 2016. Furthermore, Moscow Mitch knew about it and still did nothing to stop it in 2016 and he will continue to nothing about it because Moscow Mitch places the Republican party above country.

Moscow Mitch also has dubious ties to Russia in that Kentucky has gotten some pretty sweet deals from Russian oligarchs. Yes, Moscow Mitch has sold out his country for fun and profit and yet he has the audacity to accuse Democrats and media outlets of ‘modern day McCarthyism’. How is this dipshit still getting elected despite an approval rating in the thirties in his home state of Kentucky? Maybe its because voting machine companies donate heavily to his coffers. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; Corporate America has fixed it so Moscow Mitch gets elected time and time again because . . . you know. . . corporations are people, too. Thanks Supreme Court!

So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname 'Moscow Mitch' while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname ‘Moscow Mitch’ while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.

The British Trump

The United States isn’t the only country being overrun by right wing conservatives seizing control of the power structures. Many countries throughout the world have seen hard line conservative parties gain power and predictably are establishing authoritarian measures to make sure they stay in power. This past week, conservative Boris Johnson became the new Prime Minister in the United Kingdom. Johnson has been described as the British Donald Trump . . .you know . . . narcissistic womanizer with not a bit of intelligence. We thought that the U.K. went off the deep end when they voted for Brexit. With Boris Johnson taking the helm, we’re pretty sure the sun has set on the British Empire.

So, what is behind the rise of all these right wing, authoritarian conservative gaining power throughout the western world? Could Russian President Vladimir Putin have something to do with the rise of authoritarianism and the decline of western democracies? We’re thinking, yes. Modern day Russia is basically a corrupt oligarchy, where only the rich and powerful have a say so in how the country is run. Since the fall of communism and the Soviet Union in the early ’90s, Russia has gone through some pretty rough years which has given rise to the oligarchs. Putin was pretty peeved that his country lost the Cold War. But the former KGB operative is intelligent and very clever. Over the past twenty years, he and the deep pocketed Russian oligarchs have systematically used capitalism as a weapon against the western capitalist democracies and, as we’re seeing now, to devastating effect. They know that one common trait among all capitalistic countries is greed; the life’s blood of capitalism. There are any number of egotistical, power hungry people in western democracies who’d sell out their own mother for money, wealth and power. Trump’s connections to Russia are well known despite his protests and denials. Boris Johnson also has conflicts. Other countries have also shown a susceptibility to make corrupt deals with Russia.

In his testimony to Congress this past week, Robert Mueller explicitly warned that Russia interfered in the 2016 election and is on it’s way to mucking up our elections in 2020. And the Mueller report also states that Trump openly welcomed Russian interference (there are videos of Trump openly asking Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails). Russian oligarchs have used corrupt, crony capitalism to amass their considerable fortunes and they will spare no expense supporting the best hackers available in undermining our democratic institutions. And yet Mitch McConnell blocked legislation that would provide protection against hacking in the upcoming election. We guess Turtle Boy knows that the Republicans can’t win again without Russia’s help.

So Britain now has it’s own Donald Trump. We here at the Bucket see Putin as a James Bond Super Villain who dispenses helpful hints for those wanting to remake western democracies into Putin-style oligarchies. All you have to do is buy off wacky haired, egotistical, narcissistic, populist, capitalist megalomaniacs like Boris Johnson and Trump, who love money, fame and power. Oh, and don’t forget those wacky haired communist leaders like Kim Jong Un.

Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.
Russian President and James Bond Super Villain, Vladimir Putin, recently dispensed a helpful hint for those wishing to control the world: buy off men who are narcissistic megalomaniacs with wacky hairdos.

The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.

The Battle of Yorktown Airport

One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.

In it, he rambled on about the Revolutionary War and managed to mangle the history of this country beyond recognition, juxtaposing events of the War of 1812 with the Battle of Yorktown from the Revolutionary War and inexplicably linking both with the taking of airports. Watch a video of this mess. Of course, Trump blamed it all on his teleprompter.

The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.

In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

Religion: Humanity’s Security Blanket

If you’ve read any post or articles on this site, you know that we’re atheists. Our world view is solidly connected to a 21st century database of logic, reason and scientific knowledge obtained by thorough scientific methods and inquiry. Adherents to religion on the other hand, seem solidly connected to 1st century, 6th century or x century databases that may have made sense in those antiquated times, but given our advanced knowledge of the universe surrounding us, are now woefully obsolete.

Proponents of religion also claim that only they have the answers to life’s questions. Inevitably it boils to certain individuals in the upper echelons of the religious organizations who want to completely control their adherents or sheeple. History has many examples of bloody wars between adherents of one ‘faith’ disagreeing with followers of another leaving nothing but death and scorched earth behind. Many religions state that God made man in his image and that God created the Earth with man as ruler over all other animals. This directly conflicts with scientific evidence uncovered in the last three hundred years which concludes that man created God (or Odin or Zeus or Iron Man. . .pick you favorite fictitious deity) in his image and has used God and capitalism to commandeer and take control of the planet for fun and profit. Even the authoritarian dictator Napoleon commented that “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” That’s why there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing out there making a killing off of the gullible sheeple. There’s also a link between religion and vaccine refusal. So people are dying unnecessarily because the religious leaders are telling their flock to trust prayer (basically thinking good thoughts) over science.

We would think that modern day humans would see religion for what it is: a bloody, soiled security blanket to give us a warm fuzzy about capitalistic, materialistic life on this planet. All you really need to live an ethical and moral life is adherence to the golden rule or the law of reciprocity, which predates christianity or any other modern religions. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. You don’t need to tithe or give money to evangelical preachers so they can buy private jets to spread the gospel or ‘talk to God’. Just be kind and respect your fellow human beings and like Jesus (who was a human being, not a god) taught, share with others and help them when you can. Most major religions have this in their dogma. We’ll even go a step further and say respect animals and nature. The fact that so many evangelical rapture enthusiasts are salivating for complete destruction of the Earth, should be proof that they are insane. Why would anyone who loved God want to ruin his ‘ultimate creation’? And how can conservatives be against conservation? Given the knowledge we’ve obtained about the universe in the last three hundred years, the most important thing a human can do is maintain and preserve life on Earth. There is no planet B, folks. Since we’ve taken over the planet, it is up to us to preserve the life on it.

We’ve talked before that the best spaceship is our own planet. We need to stop being greedy materialists and live within our means. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “Simplify, Simplify”. We need to listen to modern day scientists. They know what they’re talking about. We need to attenuate our consumption and more importantly reduce the human population using the ethical means of birth control and contraception. By doing this, we can lessen our carbon footprint, decrease our pollution and in general, return the planet to a healthy equilibrium. Ridding ourselves of the antiquated dogmas of religion and embracing environmental science will also go a long way to preserving all life on planet Earth.

Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.
Denizens of Earth continue to wrap themselves in the bloody, soiled security blanket of religion putting the health and welfare of the planet in jeopardy.

London Bawling

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump just returned from a trip across the pond and to hear our man-baby-in-chief talk about it, it was a smashing success. Of course, the truth is somewhat different. As usual, Trump made many gaffes and ridiculous claims. He even had time to trash Bette Midler on Twitter, the platform of twits. The orange haired megalomaniac looked like Al Bundy in his tuxedo at a formal dinner. But probably the most egregious is the utter delusion he had of his own popularity. There were thousands who came out and protested Trump, complete with the Trump baby balloon, which accurately depicts our petulant toddler in all his diapered glory. But Trump said that they weren’t protesters; they were ‘fake news’.

We also have no doubt that with Trump’s colossal ego, he somehow thought D-day meant Donald’s Day and that everyone in the world was there to celebrate all the glory and wonder that is Donald Trump. As we’ve noted before, to think that in the span of fifty years, the Republican party has gone from a true hero in Dwight D. Eisenhower, to a world leader pretend like Donald Trump is nauseating, excruciating and revolting.

America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man-baby, Donald Trump, whines that the protesters that greeted him in London were actually fans there to celebrate D-Day, which of course means Donald's Day.
America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man-baby, Donald Trump, whines that the protesters that greeted him in London were actually fans there to celebrate D-Day, which of course means Donald’s Day.

Mueller Passes Impeachment Buck To Dems

Finally, Robert Mueller broke his silence and made a statement concerning the report bearing his name investigating Russian interference and possible obstruction of justice by America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. He really didn’t say much other than reiterate the main talking points of the report, which also refute what Attorney General and Republican fixer Bill Barr claimed: that the report exonerates Trump on all matters. First, he said that Russia clearly interfered with the 2016 elections and that all Americans should be concerned by this. Then, Mueller said that according to DOJ criteria, it was impossible for him to indict Trump (which we think is a crock of crap – it’s not a law; if he’s guilty, charge him – you’re an officer of the law). But he also couldn’t say Trump was innocent of crimes. As a matter of fact, he laid out ten cases in Volume II of his report where Trump indeed obstructed justice. In a nutshell, he’s not only passing the buck, he’s telling Congress that it’s up to them to pursue the matter further by impeaching the president.

Since Americans are a football obsessed country, let’s explain this in football-ese. Robert Mueller takes the kickoff and drives down the field of impeachment so that it’s first and goal at the five yard line. He hands the ball off to the Congressional House of Representatives, which is controlled by Democrats. So what do some Democrats want to do? They want to wait until the 2020 election a year and a half from now to let the people decide. So again, in football-ese, they’ve got a the ball on the five yard line, first and goal, and some Democrats. . . want to punt! We kind of understand why Dems are so reluctant. Even if they impeach him, the Republican Senate, led by feckless Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell, would no doubt acquit him along partisan lines. But it’s also a risk not to impeach, because Trumpty-Dumpty no doubt will accuse Democrats of being weak and proclaim that he’s truly innocent when he’s clearly not. It also opens up the 2020 election for another round of meddling by Russia. In short, he’s going to bully his way into getting away with it all.

We’ve got one thing to say to the Dems – do your jobs and impeach this insane, megalomaniac, petulant man child before he starts another trade war and some real wars in Venezuela, Iran and North Korea. Channel FDR and get tough with these bastards. Donald Trump is not only a danger to democracy and rule of law in this country but to democracy in every other country on this planet.

Despite former Special Counsel Robert Mueller handing the ball to them on the field of impeachment 1st and goal at the five yard line, some Democrats want to punt, thus again snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and letting Republicans get away with their costly, authoritarian shenanigans.
Despite former Special Counsel Robert Mueller handing the ball to them on the field of impeachment 1st and goal at the five yard line, some Democrats want to punt, thus again snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and letting Republicans get away with their costly, authoritarian shenanigans.

Stable Genius

As usual, America’s CEO/Dictator provided more aggravation for sane Americans during the past week. This time he abruptly left a meeting with Democrats over infrastructure because Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi mentioned before the meeting that Trump was trying to cover up things about the Mueller investigation by ducking congressional subpoenas. According to most accounts, Trump threw another hissy fit because he didn’t get his way and stormed out like the petulant man child he is.

This prompted our orange haired, megalomaniac liar-in-chief to hold a press CONference to proclaim for the umpty-ninth time what a stable genius he was. Then he bizarrely called many of his sycophants, like Kellyanne Conway and Sarah *uckabee Sanders, who lie almost as frequently as Trump, to recite how calm Trump was and that all the news of his bluster was all fake news. The only way Trump is a stable genius is if you’re referring to the way he shovels the horse shit to the masses. Then we’d say he is an expert without peer.

America's CEO/Dictator and stable genius, Donald Trump, proclaims to every one within earshot how masterful he is at shoveling **it to the masses.
America’s CEO/Dictator and stable genius, Donald Trump, proclaims to every one within earshot how masterful he is at shoveling **it to the masses.

Oreo Dreams

This past week an event took place that looked like it came from a Three Stooges movie involving Housing and Urban Development Secretary and snoozing aficionado, Ben Carson. During questioning at a recent congressional oversight hearing with the House Financial Services Committee, California Representative Katie Porter asked Carson about the rates for an REO(real estate owned) home, to which Carson replied like he was doing vaudeville schtick, “An Oreo?” Yeah, that’s right, Ben. It’s a hearing on housing and she’s asking you about cookies. You could tell from the smirk on his face he was having fun trolling Congress. He also did the same kind thing with Ohio Representative Joyce Beatty on the term OMWI (Office of Minority and Women Inclusion) in which Carson replied “Amway?” We’d expect this kind of “what? where?” foolishness from Vinnie Barbarino and the Sweathogs, not the head of HUD. Watch the videos in the link and see what a clown this man is.

This tomfoolery shows without a shadow of a doubt that he has no business being the secretary of housing. Of course, from what we’ve seen from Carson the last five years, we’re wondering how he ever became a neurosurgeon. We’re guessing he probably spends his time at HUD taking some naps and dreaming of those sweet, sweet Oreo cookies and a big glass of milk. mmmmm. . .zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

HUD Secretary and snoozing aficionado Ben Carson skillfully deflects questioning by congresswoman Katie Porter by proclaiming nap time so he can dream of those sweet, sweet Oreo cookies and a big glass of milk.
HUD Secretary and snoozing aficionado Ben Carson skillfully deflects questioning by congresswoman Katie Porter by proclaiming nap time so he can dream of those sweet, sweet Oreo cookies and a big glass of milk.

Wagging The Rapture Dog

The news is out that the Democrats are pushing for Robert Mueller to testify before Congress and the Trump administration and Republicans are not happy about that. Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell tried using Jedi mind tricks in the Senate by repeatedly uttering “Case closed….Case closed.” And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and delusional man child, Donald Trump, continued his pathological prevaricating on Twitter and on his right wing echo chamber Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. But there were some other disturbing developments on the international front that show that the Republicans might take an insane, catastrophic step in order to protect Trump from the fallout of Mueller testifying.

The United States has sent warships to the Gulf of Hormuz in response to ‘troubling’ actions by Iranians. National Security Advisor, war hawk and failed walrus impersonator John Bolton, has been beating the drums for war with Iran since the days of the Iraq War clusterf*ck, which Bolton still thinks was the right call. Now the delusional Bolton thinks starting another war in the Middle East would be another smashing idea and we’re sure the defense corporations are champing at the bit for a new avenue for profit. Therefore, Bolton and Trump are trying to create a Gulf of Tonkin incident so they can start a war with Iran.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also seems to be supporting the idea of war with Iran but for a different reason. Pompeo is one of those looniest of loony evangelical christians called a rapturist. In the warped mind of these nutbags, the end times are a-coming which means that all good christians will be slurped up to heaven while the rest of us ‘heathens’ will be left to toil on Earth. One of the pre-cursors for the end times, according to ‘biblical scripture’, is that Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel, which Donald Trump did last year. Now, according to the end times mythology, a great war will occur and Jesus Christ will come again which will facilitate the ‘rapture’. Many prominent Republicans are rapturists including Pompeo, VP Puritan Mike Pence, former Teabagger darling Sarah ‘Ubetcha’ Palin, former Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, housing secretary Ben ‘Mr. Sandman’ Carson and energy secretary and brain fart expert Rick Perry. So, with a normal, logical, reasonable Secretary of State, war is usually and wisely avoided. But with this evangelical loon, conditions are being forced that would result in a catastrophic conflict in the Middle East. This would mean that biblical prophecy would be ‘proven’ correct and all the ‘good people’ (christians) will get their just desserts in heaven and all the bad people (the rest of us) will suffer in lakes of fire here on Earth.

Of course, these wack jobs fail to consider that the people who wrote the bible lived two thousand years ago and didn’t know jack about the Earth or the universe. We’ve mentioned before that religious people connect to a tiny bronze age database while scientific people connect to a colossal, 21st century database chock full of knowledge. We’ve gained so much knowledge about everything in the last four hundred years. To ignore science, scientific inquiry and scientific methods is sheer lunacy and any person advocating radical ideology based on two thousand year old babble shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the corridors of power in this country. We guarantee to all those rapture loonies that unless you’re vaporized by a nuclear blast you’ll still be here left to toil on the Earth with the rest of us.

To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to 'wag the dog' with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.
To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to ‘wag the dog’ with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.