We couldn’t help but notice while Mulvaney bumbled, sweated and strained in front of the press, telling them to ‘get over’ the quid pro quo, that with his bulbous, balding head, whiny expressions and round glasses he resembles the annoying school counselor from South Park Mr. Mackey. He’s even developed his own Mackey-esque catchphrase: “Quid pro quos are good and you people will have to get over it . . .mmmmkay.”
The Trump impeachment inquiry grinds onward but last week, the 2nd worst president of our lifetime, George W. Bush, a.k.a. Dubya, reappeared in the national arena when a football broadcast showed talk show host Ellen DeGeneres palling around with ol’ Dub Dub, who supported at one time a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage, at a Dallas Cowboy’s game in luxury seats. This has sparked much controversy, some celebrities being supportive of Ellen’s new buddy and others, like Mark Ruffalo, not so supportive. Given how much we’ve griped about Dubya since 2003, we tend to agree with Ruffalo’s statements. In fact. we say Bravo!
We recommend that everybody review the history of these conservative Republican con artists from the Bush era. They should be held accountable but instead people choose to forget. We like Ellen. But it’s too bad that she is so willing to look past Dubya’s war crimes, because he should be held accountable for them. But, in true conservative fashion, Bush has not apologized and will never apologize for his transgressions, because in his mind, conservatives never make mistakes and to admit a wrongdoing is a sign of weakness. Sound like anybody currently occupying the White House?
Well, in America, we guess when you’re a rich celebrity, money trumps everything else. Who cares if you tortured people and started a war on false pretenses that screwed up the entire Middle East. Let’s enjoy a football game together in luxury seats because we’re famous and wealthy. What Ellen should have done was to offer up her seat to one of the many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who lost limbs or who are suffering from PTSD. Better yet, why don’t Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and all those other millionaires and plutocrats who profited from those wars pay all the medical costs for those veterans who are now suffering. Nope; like everything else, we the people end up paying for everything while the wealthy skate away with their money without a care in the world and without accountability.
Here’s photo-toon featuring Dubya and Fredo ‘Pinocchio’ Gonzales from our June 26, 2007 issue.
But she’s not the first advocate for climate change. Jimmy Carter actually talked the talk and walked the walk back in the 1970s but thanks to conservative patron saint Ronald Reagan, the nascent green energy movement was ridiculed and quashed before it even got started. Of course, many other intelligent people have stepped to the forefront over the last forty years pushing for alternative energy, only to be ignored and vilified by the powerful oil, gas and coal industries and their Republican (and some Democrats) lackeys in Congress.
A few posts ago we noted how so many modern-day conservatives were against conservation, thus making themselves colossal hypocrites. But it’s much more complex than that, of course. It’s the collective, monstrous egos of our planet’s most intelligent (allegedly) species, homo sapiens, that have done the most damage. When you put it in that context, each and every human being on the planet is responsible for the demise of life on Earth. We are all to blame and if we’re to rectify the problem, we need to all get on the same page.We all need a giant philosophical paradigm shift and that starts with the realization that unregulated capitalism is killing the planet and all the life on it.
But how and why did having money become the most important thing in our world? Because we’re humans, goddamn it! We’re superior creatures! What are we humans supposed to do with our time? Go hiking in the wilderness, relax and enjoy life? Boring!!! We must grow, grow, grow! Bigger, bigger, bigger! We’re taught from day one that we must utilize our superior brains every second of the day or else we’re failures. We can’t just sit around doing nothing. Or can we? If you ask any sane person what their idea of paradise is, they’ll usually respond some idyllic tropical island like Tahiti or some mountain retreat with little to no development and lots of nature or some small remote village where people live simply. So, why are we constantly destroying nature and building ugly concrete and steel structures and athletic stadiums which only last for twenty years? Because we can; as a monument to human ingenuity and greed.
But just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should. Would it really be so bad to just not build a new multiplex shopping center? Would it be so bad to adopt a simpler lifestyle and enjoy nature and the great outdoors? Would it be so bad to tear down some of our ubiquitous, ugly strip malls and skyscrapers and plant urban forests and farms? Plant an urban garden where that stupid parking lot is. Have a nature reserve where that stupid golf course is. If we combine this with a global effort of birth control and contraception, we can get things under control again. We need fewer humans, not more humans on this planet. Humans, especially ones from industrial, consumptive nations are at the forefront of environmental devastation. We’ve created so much waste that we’re exporting it to third world countries with poor waste management systems. If third world countries become like first world countries, then our planet is truly doomed and we can all kiss our materialistic asses goodbye. We need to dial our greed back from 11. We need to curb our consumption and learn to be content with fewer material possessions and simpler lifestyles. This is the only planet we know of that supports life. We need to put the welfare of our planet before our own wealth, because without the planet, how can we enjoy the wealth?We need to stop worshipping the greedy, egotistical and avaricious and start respecting and caring for nature and our environment. Those paradises we yearn for are right under our feet; we just don’t recognize them because of all the concrete, asphalt and steel.
So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.
So Britain now has it’s own Donald Trump. We here at the Bucket see Putin as a James Bond Super Villain who dispenses helpful hints for those wanting to remake western democracies into Putin-style oligarchies. All you have to do is buy off wacky haired, egotistical, narcissistic, populist, capitalist megalomaniacs like Boris Johnson and Trump, who love money, fame and power. Oh, and don’t forget those wacky haired communist leaders like Kim Jong Un.
But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.
One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.
The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.
In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
If you’ve read any post or articles on this site, you know that we’re atheists. Our world view is solidly connected to a 21st century database of logic, reason and scientific knowledge obtained by thorough scientific methods and inquiry. Adherents to religion on the other hand, seem solidly connected to 1st century, 6th century or x century databases that may have made sense in those antiquated times, but given our advanced knowledge of the universe surrounding us, are now woefully obsolete.
Proponents of religion also claim that only they have the answers to life’s questions. Inevitably it boils to certain individuals in the upper echelons of the religious organizations who want to completely control their adherents or sheeple. History has many examples of bloody wars between adherents of one ‘faith’ disagreeing with followers of another leaving nothing but death and scorched earth behind. Many religions state that God made man in his image and that God created the Earth with man as ruler over all other animals. This directly conflicts with scientific evidence uncovered in the last three hundred years which concludes that man created God (or Odin or Zeus or Iron Man. . .pick you favorite fictitious deity) in his image and has used God and capitalism to commandeer and take control of the planet for fun and profit. Even the authoritarian dictator Napoleon commented that “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” That’s why there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing out there making a killing off of the gullible sheeple. There’s also a link between religion and vaccine refusal. So people are dying unnecessarily because the religious leaders are telling their flock to trust prayer (basically thinking good thoughts) over science.
We’ve talked before that the best spaceship is our own planet. We need to stop being greedy materialists and live within our means. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “Simplify, Simplify”. We need to listen to modern day scientists. They know what they’re talking about. We need to attenuate our consumption and more importantly reduce the human population using the ethical means of birth control and contraception. By doing this, we can lessen our carbon footprint, decrease our pollution and in general, return the planet to a healthy equilibrium. Ridding ourselves of the antiquated dogmas of religion and embracing environmental science will also go a long way to preserving all life on planet Earth.
We also have no doubt that with Trump’s colossal ego, he somehow thought D-day meant Donald’s Day and that everyone in the world was there to celebrate all the glory and wonder that is Donald Trump. As we’ve noted before, to think that in the span of fifty years, the Republican party has gone from a true hero in Dwight D. Eisenhower, to a world leader pretend like Donald Trump is nauseating, excruciating and revolting.
Finally, Robert Mueller broke his silence and made a statement concerning the report bearing his name investigating Russian interference and possible obstruction of justice by America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. He really didn’t say much other than reiterate the main talking points of the report, which also refute what Attorney General and Republican fixer Bill Barr claimed: that the report exonerates Trump on all matters. First, he said that Russia clearly interfered with the 2016 elections and that all Americans should be concerned by this. Then, Mueller said that according to DOJ criteria, it was impossible for him to indict Trump (which we think is a crock of crap – it’s not a law; if he’s guilty, charge him – you’re an officer of the law). But he also couldn’t say Trump was innocent of crimes. As a matter of fact, he laid out ten cases in Volume II of his report where Trump indeed obstructed justice. In a nutshell, he’s not only passing the buck, he’s telling Congress that it’s up to them to pursue the matter further by impeaching the president.
We’ve got one thing to say to the Dems – do your jobs and impeach this insane, megalomaniac, petulant man child before he starts another trade war and some real wars in Venezuela, Iran and North Korea. Channel FDR and get tough with these bastards. Donald Trump is not only a danger to democracy and rule of law in this country but to democracy in every other country on this planet.