Tag Archive for media

Our Simpson-esque Man Child Dictator

We received this week for the umpty-ninth time of the Trump administration a glaring colossal reason why America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump should not be re-elected. In a televised speech to the nation, Trumpty Dumpty in typical Trumpian fashion failed to admit any fault in his response to the coronavirus and instead of calming the nerves of people worldwide, prompted more panic as stock markets again plunged Thursday morning. That’s almost an 8,000 point drop since mid February, folks; basically erasing any stock market gains since 2017. And remember: the ‘strength’ of the stock market was supposedly Trump’s mightiest accomplishment. Ooops!

A hallmark of the Trump presidency is that he constantly boasts how everybody loves him, what a stable genius he is and that ‘some people’ proclaim that he’s the greatest president in history. This monstrous narcissism was on display last week at a press conference at the CDC where our orange-haired megalomaniac blathered on about how a relative of his was a ‘super-genius’ and how scientists were coming up and telling him how smart he was and that he’s got ‘a natural ability’. Scientist, doctors and engineers around the world collectively vomited at this point. Trump’s vanity and ego truly know no bounds!

We’ve noted Trump’s resemblance to perpetual cartoon brat back in 2016 when we did a photo-toon explaining the 2016 election, Simpsons style with Hillary Clinton as Lisa and Trump as Bart. Trump’s constant boasting over the last three years reminds us of a classic episode of the Simpsons in Season 4 (Lisa’s First Word) when a little two year old Bart paraded around the house banging a pot proclaiming to all within earshot “I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me! I am so great!” Or here’s a hilarious 10 minute loop of Bart’s proclamation. (We’ve also embedded the vids below.) Gee, sound familiar? Yes, our Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump certainly does bear a striking resemblance to rotten little imp Bart Simpson. Cowabunga, dude!

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, bears a striking resemblance to rotten, little imp Bart Simpson from the Simpsons and has even adopted walking around proclaiming loudly to all how great he is.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, bears a striking resemblance to rotten, little imp Bart Simpson from the Simpsons and has even adopted walking around proclaiming loudly to all how great he is.
Donald Trump proclaiming his greatness to all.
Donald Trump perpetually proclaiming his greatness.

Rewind: A Promise Too Far

The 2020 presidential election has become clearer in the past week with the results of Super Tuesday. Joe Biden won a clear victory and is now the front runner with Bernie Sanders not too far behind in second place. Michael Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar have bowed out and given their support to Biden. Unfortunately, for all Americans, Elizabeth Warren, the smartest candidate running in this election, has also called it quits. So, basically it’s a two horse race between a couple senior citizens; one a corporatist, one a social democrat. We’ve got the funny feeling that once again, despite having a myriad of social programs(Medicare, Social Security, etc…) already in place, Americans are still having a collective brain fart on social democracy and socialism.

Honestly, we prefer the Warren-Sanders wing of the Democrat Party. However, although we here at the Bucket are progressive independents, we are voting for whomever the Democratic nominee is, just like we have for the past twenty-eight years. Just look at the Trump administration in addition to the Bush administration (not to mention the first Bush and the Reagan administrations) and you’ll understand why we’ll never vote for another Republican as long as we live. But we’ve been around long enough to know that Joe Biden is not the perfect candidate. Let’s face it, folks; Biden likes to bullshit and he’s a big time gaffe master. If there’s a chance he’ll stick his foot in his mouth or tell embarrassing tall tales, he will. Back in 2008 when Obama named Biden his VP, we collectively slapped our foreheads and said “Oh, oh!” But thankfully, Biden turned out to be a commendable Vice President. He is a good, honorable man who will do the right thing for all Americans. But, he will also do and say some stupid things along the way, guaranteed. So, don’t let the conservative corporate media or Fox News Republican propaganda machine fool you. Yes, Biden’s having senior moments, but then again Trumpty Dumpty is outpacing Uncle Joe on that front by a country mile. Donald Trump is by the far the WORST choice for America and the world and he proves it on a daily basis.

Here’s a photo-toon from our March 7, 2009 issue, where Obama assures the American populace that Biden will not insert his foot into his mouth while Uncle Joe has some reservations about that prospect.

President Obama may have made one promise he can't keep. concerning Vice President and gaffe master Joe Biden.
President Obama may have made one promise he can’t keep.

They’ll Be Dancing…Dancing On His Grave

In addition to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s vendetta rampage following his ‘acquittal’ by the spineless Republicans sans Spiff Romney, Trump also found it fitting to give a presidential Medal of Freedom to none other than Rush Limbaugh, a.k.a. Boss Limhogg, who recently announced he had advanced lung cancer, most probably due to his lifelong love of smoking cigars. The Medal of Freedom is normally bestowed upon “individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors,” What the hell was El Rushblo’s contribution to American society, you may ask? Yes, he did do charitable work for cancer and veterans. That’s commendable. But basically, he’s provided forty years of hate-filled diatribe that has contributed much to the political chasm that divides this country today and the reason we’ve got an orange-haired, authoritarian, man child asshole in the White House.

Limbaugh’s transgressions are legion. We used to have a regular feature here from ’03-05 called Rush Watch where we highlighted some of his vileness in photo-toon form, but even we grew sick of his never ending bullshit. Staff member Chester Einstein used to listen to his radio broadcasts and watch his tv show in the early 90s, but stopped when El Rushblo continuously and ruthlessly mocked the Clintons, even Chelsea who was only a teenager at the time. He also picked on Amy Carter, too(see third link in our list below). But then mocking and bullying teenagers is par for the course for today’s manly man conservative Republicans.

Here are some links that illustrate how badly Limbaugh has helped tear America apart.

We have no doubt that lines are already forming to dance on his grave. If you think that’s in poor taste, well then you haven’t been paying attention to the drivel that Limbaugh has spewed forth from his gaping maw since the ’80s. We’re not alone in wishing El Rushblo a glorious trip to hell! We hope you choke on your massive, stinky stogies for all eternity, you racist, sexist, ignorant fat tub of goo!

Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).
Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).

Foolproof Gun Control Solution

The coronavirus has gained the attention of the world recently with more than 65,000 cases reported globally and almost 1,5000 deaths. America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump even took an aggressive stand by issuing travel restrictions with China where the virus originated. But many feel that the travel ban could backfire. While we applaud this act of preparedness, health officials and the CDC say that the flu is much more dangerous and has already claimed 10,000 lives in the U.S. since October.

But there is one deathly scourge that continues to be ignored by the corporate media and the corrupt, conservative Republican corporate lackeys in Congress who continue to look the other way and do nothing. That menace is none other than gun violence. In America, gun violence kills far more people than coronavirus every year (36,000 gun deaths each year with more than 100,000 shot and injured) but yet the corporate media chooses to gaslight us and continue to scare the sheeple with the occasional and over-hyped biological threats. Over-hyped is a strong word but look at the numbers. According to the CDC, 445 people are under investigation in the U.S. for coronavirus. There are about 325 million people in America, so that means that 0.00013692307 percent of Americans have the virus. In China, which has almost 1.4 billion people, there are 60,000 confirmed cases. So, that means that 0.00428571428 percent of the Chinese population have the virus. There are already questions concerning the numbers being reported from Chinese officials.

This is par for the course for the Republicans and their cohorts in the corporate media. Would Trump ever consider signing an executive order banning assault weapons? Are you kidding???!!! The Republicans love using viruses as way to scare the sheeple. Look at the 2014 election, when the GOP announced to everybody that Ebola was coming to get them. Ebola can only be transmitted if you’re in direct contact with bodily fluids of an infected person, but that didn’t bother the Republicans from lying their asses off to get their permanently scared constituents to vote for them to ‘save the day’. We’ve seen how much more corrupt they’ve become since then with their whitewashing of Trump during his impeachment trial and the complete collapse of the now corrupted Department of Justice.

Since Republicans refuse to do anything about our biggest crisis, we here at the Bucket have a foolproof method of gun control. Sure it’s a bit crude but you know what, so are today’s right wing conservative gun nuts. So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, if you love guns more than life itself:

  • go home
  • give your favorite firearm a blow job
  • bring that gun to orgasm

Or in simpler terms: Go F*ck Your Gun! We guarantee it will be a mind-blowing experience and we might finally be able to pass some decent legislation making America safe and sane again before the next round of mass shootings.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!
Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!

Nobody Knows The Trouble Trump’s Seen

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been impeached by the Democratic controlled House of Representatives and the Republicans are in full, whiny, crybaby persecution mode. They’ve done everything from having a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Trump in 2016 (what about the 66 million who voted for Clinton or the 8 million who voted for third party candidates!) to one GOP congressman from Georgia actually comparing Trump’s impeachment to the trials and tribulations of Jesus. Jesus Christ!!! What a load of malarkey!!!!

We’ve droned on forever about how hypocritical the evangelical, conservative christian sheeple are for supporting Trump but this takes the cake. At least one christian magazine has come forward and openly supports impeaching the orange-haired megalomaniac. Maybe, just maybe, this will start a backlash that will start christians waking up and realizing that Trump is nothing more than a golden calf. Yeah right!!! But hey, it’s the supposedly ‘magical’ holiday season – we can dream can’t we!

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admits that American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s impeachment is much worse than his crucifixion and offers him some affluent advice for healing his pain and suffering.

Plutocrats Rule; All Others Drool

One of the big pieces of news recently outside the ever expanding vortex of the House impeachment inquiries is the announced candidacy of Michael Bloomberg running for President as a . . . wait for it . . . a Democrat. Yes, that colossal, egotistical billionaire plutocrat. former Democrat-Republican-Independent-Democrat mayor of New York City and corporate media mogul has decided in his infinite wisdom that only another plutocrat with a gargantuan ego can possibly defeat America’s CEO/Dictator and megalomaniac man child Donald Trump. He’s already bombarding the Internet, television stations and all other media outlets with salvos of ads touching all the Democrat’s talking points and, like Trump, has a bottomless pit of money to spend on the campaign.

But will Bloomberg really be a champion for the middle class, something Trump promised he’d be in 2016 and then gave massive tax cuts to the wealthy in 2017? We’re incredibly skeptical of Bloomberg. We’ve commented many times on how Bloomberg and the other plutocrats in America’s oligarchy or the 1% actually run this country. Now the plutocrats are scared that they might actually have to pay their fair share in taxes, something they’ve been avoiding thanks the generous tax cuts offered by every administration since Reagan. The tax cuts from the Republicans in 2017 have massively helped the 1%ers become richer. But as usual, it hasn’t trickled down to the rest of us. Farmers are in crisis mode right now thanks largely to Trump’s trade war. But the realistic possibility of social democrats Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders winning the Democratic nomination is scaring tycoons like Bloomberg witless. Even computer magnate and greedy dickhead Bill Gates (worth $107 billion) whined recently that if he has to pay one hundred billion in taxes, that would be too much. For the math impaired, he’d still have seven billion dollars even if he did have to pay one hundred billion. Awwwww — poor Bill! He’d have to live on just seven billion dollars. How can any person do that? We here in the middle class have no sympathy for the greedy assholes who proclaim that they can’t live on a few measly billion dollars while most Americans struggle to live paycheck to paycheck.

We agree with others who say that the best way Mr. Bloomberg can help out this country is by buying Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. That lie machine has been pumping out disinformation, deceptions and crackpot conspiracy theories for almost a quarter of a century and is the main reason we have a cult of evangelical Trump followers running our democracy and rule of law into the ground. Bloomberg and fellow Democratic plutocrats Tom Steyer and Andrew Yang could pool their resources and do it easily. This would be the best use of the plutocrats’ billions: ridding this nation of the real fake news once and for all.

Plutocrat Michael Bloomberg announces that only another billionaire with a colossal ego can defeat Trump much to the delight of other plutocrats, oligarchs and members of the 1%.
Plutocrat Michael Bloomberg announces that only another billionaire with a colossal ego can defeat Trump much to the delight of other plutocrats, oligarchs and members of the 1%.

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.

WWTD: What Would Trump Do?

As more and more information comes to the forefront in the House’s impeachment investigation, it appears that instead of re-evaluating their support for America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and seeing the light, Trump supporters, especially those of the evangelical variety, seem to be doubling down in their almost cult-like worship of a man who is the epitome of the golden calf mentioned in the old testament of the bible. Seriously, folks . . . Jesus’ preaching smacked of socialism and yet people choose the greedy capitalist who likes to grab women by the pussy as they’re new savior?

So why are these supposedly holy people supporting the polar opposite of their lord and savior Jesus Christ? Good question. Here at the Bucket, we’ve been completely baffled for the last four years. Could it just be that they love ‘owning the libs’? How can evangelicals support bashing skulls in the name of Jesus? This one article asserts that modern evangelicals reject the reality based world in the 21st century – you know, facts, logic, reasoning and the worst taboo of all, science – and whole-heartedly embrace the world presented to them by Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network and Donald Trump. As we’ve noted here before, it’s a fusion of Nazism, corporatism and christian theocracy, a holy trinity of authoritarianism if you will, which is creating the Holy Corporate Empire in which we now live in. Thus, there is the cult-like following of the evangelicals, especially in the rural areas of the South and Midwest, who are wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.

Unfortunately, even if Trump gets impeached, it may be quite a dilemma to remove him from office. Trump supporters, like this one MLB umpire, are even crowing that they’ll actually take up arms. Thus, we have no doubt that Trumpies from all across the nation could very well take to the streets and use thuggery and the word of Trump to impose their will on the nation. Onward christian thugs: praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

Some red state Republican voters discuss how truly christlike Donald Trump is and ponder forcefully spreading his word to some unsuspecting immigrants.
Some red state Republican voters discuss how truly christlike Donald Trump is and ponder forcefully spreading his word to some unsuspecting immigrants.

The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.

The Battle of Yorktown Airport

One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.

In it, he rambled on about the Revolutionary War and managed to mangle the history of this country beyond recognition, juxtaposing events of the War of 1812 with the Battle of Yorktown from the Revolutionary War and inexplicably linking both with the taking of airports. Watch a video of this mess. Of course, Trump blamed it all on his teleprompter.

The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.

In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.