Archive for Singles Adventure Club

Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club – July 2012

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners, Arizona area. The BilgeBucket Gazette’s own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

  • Thursday, July 12th – Mime Lessons at Monsieur Pepe’s Mime School in the Cactus Corners Mall. Best ‘Trapped in a Box’ impression, gets free mime makeup kit. 
  • Saturday, July 14th – ‘In Your Face’ Volleyball night at Uncle Jeb’s Sand Volleyball Emporium on Western and Prospector Way. First one to spike one off Dale Carlson’s head gets a free plate of nachos; knock him out and get a free pitcher of beer. Fifty dollar gift certificate from The Gun Bin for player with the most kill shots for the night.
  • Monday, July 16th – Euchre Night at Fran Miller’s house. We’ll be spending the night finding out what the hell Euchre is while drinking gallons of margaritas.
  • Tuesday, July 17th – Gardening Night at Phyllis Martin’s house. We’ll gather together and discuss our favorite desert plants like Agave schotti, Sphaeralcea ambigua and Mammillaria grahamii. We’ll also be drinking leftover margaritas from Euchre Night.
  • Saturday, July 21st – Picnic at Burro Thief Bend Park near Wikieup. If you haven’t been to Wikieup, you haven’t lived! We’ll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches under the blazing sun at one of the quaint, uncovered, termite infested, picnic tables at Suicide Point. There are no outhouses so bring your own bucket. This area is also home to many types of wildlife; wild burros, scorpions and the extremely poisonous Mojave rattler. Don’t explore too much because the van returns to Phoenix promptly at 5:30pm; so if you miss it, you’re on your own.
  • Wednesday, July 25th – Adult Toy Party at Dale Carlson’s house hosted by Gigi Gozongas from Captain Caboom’s Sex Emporium. This former stripper gives us the low down on all the latest sexual devices for making the boudoir a spicier place. Door prizes include a XL13 Supra-Vibrator, velvet lined handcuffs and a years supply of Übergliden, Germany’s miracle lubricant. First ten attendees win a free body condom.
  • Friday, July 27th –CCAW RAW Night at Cactus Corners Memorial Arena. Get up close and personal with Cactus Corner’s answer to the WWE, the CCAW (Cactus Corners Association of Wrestling). Rub elbows with local favorites like The Gila Monster, Dr. W.A.S.P., El Cholo Gordo and perennial doormat, Larry the Masturbating Hobo. We’re sitting in the front rows, so make sure your insurance covers getting squashed by wrestlers. Tickets are only $89.95. No wagering, please.
  • Sunday, July 29th – Outing planned at Guano Grande Caverns near Benson. We’ll explore the latest natural cave discovered in Arizona and opened to an unsuspecting public. These dark, unstable caverns are home to all kinds of bats including vampire bats. We’ll be hiking through dimly lit, narrow passages with loose rock all around us. Bring a hat because the bats will be dropping guano on us like rain.

 

Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club – May 2012

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners, Arizona area. The BilgeBucket Gazette’s own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

  • Thursday, May 17th – Origami Cactus Party at Maggie Bell’s house. Everybody will create their own origami cacti. Maggie will supply the paper, you supply the booze.
  • Saturday, May 19th – I Hate Men Night at Mistress Spankarella’s dungeon. Women, get your aggressions out on all men as Mistress Spankarella straps some poor schlep on the Wheel of Pain for some big time retribution. A male volunteer is needed. Hello. Anyone?
  • Monday, May 21st – Midnight rollerblading at Cactus Wash Drainage Ditch. Be sure to bring your flashlights, because it’s crazy dark down there. Word has it the concrete is a bit uneven, too. Helmets and pads are optional.
  • Thursday, May 24th – Candyland Night at Dale Carlson’s house. Bring your own sweets to enjoy while navigating Gumdrop Pass and Lollipop Woods. The night’s overall winner wins a big, 12 inch, candy cane courtesy of Dale.
  • Sunday, May 27th – Thin the Herd Hike planned at Rattler’s Canyon in the Buzzard Mountains southwest of Gila Bend. This remote, isolated area, miles from the nearest hospital, is noted for it’s abundance of poisonous critters like the Western Diamondback rattlesnake, the Gila Monster, the bark scorpion and numerous other exciting, deadly animals. Be sure to wear as little clothing as possible because it will be plenty hot out. Don’t worry about water, either. Our 75 year old map says there’s a small stream in the canyon.
  • Wednesday, May 30th – Happy Hour at Café Muy Caro in Cactus Pavilions Strip Mall. Join us for lackluster conversation, somewhat edible food, and tremendously overpriced drinks. Be sure to bring your credit cards, because you’ll get reamed worse here than at the gas pump.
  • Friday, June 1st –Casino Night at Cactus Valley Casino. This casino guarantees not only the loosest slots in town, but also the loosest sluts. Spend your paycheck at the blackjack tables; lose your mortgage payment at the craps table; or just get loaded from the free drinks served by the sexiest waitresses this side of Ahwatukee. Plus, relive the glorious music of 1980’s super group Wang Chung with the Wang Chung Experience in the Charlie Callas Room. Like the song sez: Everyone have fun tonight, everyone Wang Chung tonight!
  • Sunday, June 3rd – Hike planned at Grommet’s Ravine near Wickenburg. This area used to be an industrial waste dump and has been semi-cleaned up. If we’re lucky, we’ll see a few wild dogs with two tails, five legged cats and three-eyed mice. Wear waterproof shoes since some of the left over toxic sludge tends to eat through shoe leather and skin.

 

Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club – March 2012

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners, Arizona area. The BilgeBucket Gazette’s own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

  • Thursday, March 8th – Cut Each Others Toenails Night at Phyllis Boyle’s house. Delores Romanowski recommends the Tweezerman SPA Deluxe clipper for best results.
  • Saturday, March 10th – Polka Night at Larry’s Dinner Barn in Apache Junction. Appropriate dress required. Lederhosen is available for sale or rent at Oskar’s Accordion Depot.
  • Monday, March 12th – Yahtzee Night at Frank Brinkman’s house. BYOB and bring lots of it! Trust us; you’ll need it.
  • Wednesday, March 14th – Skateboard Night at Cactus Corners Mall Skatepark. Over 65 skateboard champ Thelma Clausen will demonstrate proper skateboarding techniques including ollies, kick-flips and frontside 180s.
  • Friday, March 16th – Theater Night at Exit Stage Left Theater in Cactus Sweat Strip Mall. Now playing, “Judge Judy: The Musical”, starring Mistee DuBois as Judge Judy. Admission is $40 for adults, $39 for students, and $38 for senior citizens.
  • Sunday, March 18th – Road trip to abandoned gold mine in Skull Valley. We’ll attempt to climb down the rickety, unstable, old mine shaft and search for gold. Bring your picks.
  • Tuesday, March 20th – Cooking With Spam Night at Sarah Milton’s house. Sarah goes over her favorite recipes for cooking meals with Spam: everything from delicious Spam omelettes to mouth-watering Spam cupcakes. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!!! Bring your pen and paper. You’ll want to jot these down.
  • Thursday, March 22th – Shuffleboard at Cactus Gallows Retirement Home. Elmer Scoggins demonstrates proper stick manipulation techniques.
  • Saturday, March 24th – Swinging at Nutcracker’s Social Club on Phoenix’s West Side. Wear some bling and bring your swing! Special fun rooms include a dungeon, a doctor’s office, and a congressional chamber. Admission is $75. Check with club personnel prior to arrival for appropriate gang signs to flash for entrance. Firearms are recommended. If you know what’s good for you, don’t stare at the midget!