Tag Archive for Trump

The Battle of Yorktown Airport

One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.

In it, he rambled on about the Revolutionary War and managed to mangle the history of this country beyond recognition, juxtaposing events of the War of 1812 with the Battle of Yorktown from the Revolutionary War and inexplicably linking both with the taking of airports. Watch a video of this mess. Of course, Trump blamed it all on his teleprompter.

The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.

In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

Chillaxing For A Spell

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump continues his relentless assault on democratic principles and as usual during the debacle that is the Trump presidency, we’re having a hard time keeping up with all the crap. Just in the past week there’s been reports of more migrant deaths in the concentration camps set up by Republicans, Trump almost started a war with Iran over suspicious claims of a tanker attack and a new press secretary has been named to replace Sarah *uckabee Sanders and for some strange reason, it’s not Sergeant Schultz. We thought he’d be a natural.

It’s been a while since we’ve taken a break, so we’re taking a little time to chillax and recharge our batteries from this non-stop bombardment on truth, honesty, logic, reason and democracy by the orange haired man-child and his feckless, flying monkey Republican goon squad. We’ll be back next month.

Gone Fishin' - Be Back Soon!
We’re taking a break America. We’ll be back real soon.

London Bawling

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump just returned from a trip across the pond and to hear our man-baby-in-chief talk about it, it was a smashing success. Of course, the truth is somewhat different. As usual, Trump made many gaffes and ridiculous claims. He even had time to trash Bette Midler on Twitter, the platform of twits. The orange haired megalomaniac looked like Al Bundy in his tuxedo at a formal dinner. But probably the most egregious is the utter delusion he had of his own popularity. There were thousands who came out and protested Trump, complete with the Trump baby balloon, which accurately depicts our petulant toddler in all his diapered glory. But Trump said that they weren’t protesters; they were ‘fake news’.

We also have no doubt that with Trump’s colossal ego, he somehow thought D-day meant Donald’s Day and that everyone in the world was there to celebrate all the glory and wonder that is Donald Trump. As we’ve noted before, to think that in the span of fifty years, the Republican party has gone from a true hero in Dwight D. Eisenhower, to a world leader pretend like Donald Trump is nauseating, excruciating and revolting.

America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man-baby, Donald Trump, whines that the protesters that greeted him in London were actually fans there to celebrate D-Day, which of course means Donald's Day.
America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man-baby, Donald Trump, whines that the protesters that greeted him in London were actually fans there to celebrate D-Day, which of course means Donald’s Day.

Mueller Passes Impeachment Buck To Dems

Finally, Robert Mueller broke his silence and made a statement concerning the report bearing his name investigating Russian interference and possible obstruction of justice by America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. He really didn’t say much other than reiterate the main talking points of the report, which also refute what Attorney General and Republican fixer Bill Barr claimed: that the report exonerates Trump on all matters. First, he said that Russia clearly interfered with the 2016 elections and that all Americans should be concerned by this. Then, Mueller said that according to DOJ criteria, it was impossible for him to indict Trump (which we think is a crock of crap – it’s not a law; if he’s guilty, charge him – you’re an officer of the law). But he also couldn’t say Trump was innocent of crimes. As a matter of fact, he laid out ten cases in Volume II of his report where Trump indeed obstructed justice. In a nutshell, he’s not only passing the buck, he’s telling Congress that it’s up to them to pursue the matter further by impeaching the president.

Since Americans are a football obsessed country, let’s explain this in football-ese. Robert Mueller takes the kickoff and drives down the field of impeachment so that it’s first and goal at the five yard line. He hands the ball off to the Congressional House of Representatives, which is controlled by Democrats. So what do some Democrats want to do? They want to wait until the 2020 election a year and a half from now to let the people decide. So again, in football-ese, they’ve got a the ball on the five yard line, first and goal, and some Democrats. . . want to punt! We kind of understand why Dems are so reluctant. Even if they impeach him, the Republican Senate, led by feckless Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell, would no doubt acquit him along partisan lines. But it’s also a risk not to impeach, because Trumpty-Dumpty no doubt will accuse Democrats of being weak and proclaim that he’s truly innocent when he’s clearly not. It also opens up the 2020 election for another round of meddling by Russia. In short, he’s going to bully his way into getting away with it all.

We’ve got one thing to say to the Dems – do your jobs and impeach this insane, megalomaniac, petulant man child before he starts another trade war and some real wars in Venezuela, Iran and North Korea. Channel FDR and get tough with these bastards. Donald Trump is not only a danger to democracy and rule of law in this country but to democracy in every other country on this planet.

Despite former Special Counsel Robert Mueller handing the ball to them on the field of impeachment 1st and goal at the five yard line, some Democrats want to punt, thus again snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and letting Republicans get away with their costly, authoritarian shenanigans.
Despite former Special Counsel Robert Mueller handing the ball to them on the field of impeachment 1st and goal at the five yard line, some Democrats want to punt, thus again snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and letting Republicans get away with their costly, authoritarian shenanigans.

Stable Genius

As usual, America’s CEO/Dictator provided more aggravation for sane Americans during the past week. This time he abruptly left a meeting with Democrats over infrastructure because Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi mentioned before the meeting that Trump was trying to cover up things about the Mueller investigation by ducking congressional subpoenas. According to most accounts, Trump threw another hissy fit because he didn’t get his way and stormed out like the petulant man child he is.

This prompted our orange haired, megalomaniac liar-in-chief to hold a press CONference to proclaim for the umpty-ninth time what a stable genius he was. Then he bizarrely called many of his sycophants, like Kellyanne Conway and Sarah *uckabee Sanders, who lie almost as frequently as Trump, to recite how calm Trump was and that all the news of his bluster was all fake news. The only way Trump is a stable genius is if you’re referring to the way he shovels the horse shit to the masses. Then we’d say he is an expert without peer.

America's CEO/Dictator and stable genius, Donald Trump, proclaims to every one within earshot how masterful he is at shoveling **it to the masses.
America’s CEO/Dictator and stable genius, Donald Trump, proclaims to every one within earshot how masterful he is at shoveling **it to the masses.

Twit Tweets: #KingTrumpNeverWRONG

It’s been two and a half LONG, LONG, LONG years since Donald Trump has assumed leadership of this country as CEO/Dictator/King and so far the most consistent thing he has done is to tweet like an adolescent about every little thing that pops into his deranged, megalomaniac, man child head of his.

Unfortunately, his next greatest accomplishment is his over 10,000 lies and deceptions he has perpetrated on the American public. But then again we’re sure that King Trump, who is never wrong, would no doubt dispute those numbers as fake news, too.

America’s CEO/Dictator/King, Donald Trump, assures his loyal subjects that the stupid lying Press is lying about his 10,000 lies because the King is never wrong.
America’s CEO/Dictator/King, Donald Trump, assures his loyal subjects that the stupid lying Press is lying about his 10,000 lies because the King is never wrong.

Ban Alabama

As if we didn’t know their viewpoint already, the right wing, conservative, christian Republicans have officially declared war on women. Twenty five Republican males in that hot bed of compassionate christianity, Alabama, have decided to make abortion illegal, even in cases of rape and incest, thus placing it directly in conflict with the 1973 decision of Roe v. Wade and almost guaranteeing a decision in the Supreme Court where ‘compassionate’ christians of all denominations are hoping über-Catholic Brett Kavanaugh will overturn the abortion law and relegate women officially to second class citizens who are nothing more than baby factories just like they were in the bible, two thousand years ago.

This isn’t the first time the right wing christian zealots have tried it and it won’t be the last. South Dakota tried it in 2006 (we even mocked up a re-issued state quarter for them). Other states like Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Georgia and Missouri have also passed Draconian measures to give precedence to the potential life of a fetus over the life of the mother who is actually alive and breathing air in the current, real world. The fetus is a part of the woman’s body and a living woman should always have control over her own body.

We’ve got a suggestion to all sane logical humans who are sick of these so-called ‘right-to-life’ hypocrites who say life is sacred but turn their heads to gun violence which kills thousands every day. Ban these states (how convenient is it that the Alabama state flag is a big red X). Don’t travel to any of these states. Don’t buy merchandise from any store in these states. Women should leave these states in droves. Let these fine examples of compassionate christianity rot. Conservatives proclaimed that they voted for Trump because he was in your face supposedly ‘telling it like it is’. Well, we’re telling it like it is, too. It’s the 21st century, not the 1st century! It’s time to update your database connections you sanctimonious, knuckle dragging troglodytes! Personally, we’d rather have Puerto Rico as a state than Alabama.

Dear Alabama lawmakers: The rest of the United States would like to ban travel and trade to your state until you start living in the 21st century.
Dear Alabama lawmakers: The rest of the United States would like to ban travel and trade to your state until you start living in the 21st century.

Wagging The Rapture Dog

The news is out that the Democrats are pushing for Robert Mueller to testify before Congress and the Trump administration and Republicans are not happy about that. Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell tried using Jedi mind tricks in the Senate by repeatedly uttering “Case closed….Case closed.” And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and delusional man child, Donald Trump, continued his pathological prevaricating on Twitter and on his right wing echo chamber Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. But there were some other disturbing developments on the international front that show that the Republicans might take an insane, catastrophic step in order to protect Trump from the fallout of Mueller testifying.

The United States has sent warships to the Gulf of Hormuz in response to ‘troubling’ actions by Iranians. National Security Advisor, war hawk and failed walrus impersonator John Bolton, has been beating the drums for war with Iran since the days of the Iraq War clusterf*ck, which Bolton still thinks was the right call. Now the delusional Bolton thinks starting another war in the Middle East would be another smashing idea and we’re sure the defense corporations are champing at the bit for a new avenue for profit. Therefore, Bolton and Trump are trying to create a Gulf of Tonkin incident so they can start a war with Iran.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also seems to be supporting the idea of war with Iran but for a different reason. Pompeo is one of those looniest of loony evangelical christians called a rapturist. In the warped mind of these nutbags, the end times are a-coming which means that all good christians will be slurped up to heaven while the rest of us ‘heathens’ will be left to toil on Earth. One of the pre-cursors for the end times, according to ‘biblical scripture’, is that Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel, which Donald Trump did last year. Now, according to the end times mythology, a great war will occur and Jesus Christ will come again which will facilitate the ‘rapture’. Many prominent Republicans are rapturists including Pompeo, VP Puritan Mike Pence, former Teabagger darling Sarah ‘Ubetcha’ Palin, former Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, housing secretary Ben ‘Mr. Sandman’ Carson and energy secretary and brain fart expert Rick Perry. So, with a normal, logical, reasonable Secretary of State, war is usually and wisely avoided. But with this evangelical loon, conditions are being forced that would result in a catastrophic conflict in the Middle East. This would mean that biblical prophecy would be ‘proven’ correct and all the ‘good people’ (christians) will get their just desserts in heaven and all the bad people (the rest of us) will suffer in lakes of fire here on Earth.

Of course, these wack jobs fail to consider that the people who wrote the bible lived two thousand years ago and didn’t know jack about the Earth or the universe. We’ve mentioned before that religious people connect to a tiny bronze age database while scientific people connect to a colossal, 21st century database chock full of knowledge. We’ve gained so much knowledge about everything in the last four hundred years. To ignore science, scientific inquiry and scientific methods is sheer lunacy and any person advocating radical ideology based on two thousand year old babble shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the corridors of power in this country. We guarantee to all those rapture loonies that unless you’re vaporized by a nuclear blast you’ll still be here left to toil on the Earth with the rest of us.

To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to 'wag the dog' with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.
To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to ‘wag the dog’ with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.

Sinking The Middle Class

The news is out on the Trump’s tax cuts and…surprise, surprise – refunds for the middle class are down and it appears the tax cuts only benefited the top 1% percent of Americans. But how can this be? American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump promised that every one would benefit. Could it be that Trump lied? Given that he’s gone over the 10, 000 lie mark just over two years into his presidency, YES, OF COURSE HE LIED!!!

We’ve commented before about how poor people view themselves as temporarily embarrasses millionaires and are cajoled into voting against their own self-interests by right wing propagandists, like Fox News, blaming everyone else but the real culprits (plutocratic capitalists) for their conditions. The scapegoats are always the same: minorities, people of color and people of different religions other than christianity – you know, people who are ‘different’. So these right wing, racist, conservative christians, although they are in the same boat financially as blacks, hispanics, other non-whites, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and atheists, will support politicians who create laws and policies that decimate the middle class and make their own lives even tougher. For example, the Trump administration has destroyed consumer protection regulations which make it harder for Americans to stand up for their rights and easier for corporations to do whatever the hell they want with no repercussions. With higher insurance premiums and no voice to change them, we’re all getting screwed. But it doesn’t matter to the racist Trump supporters, because at least non-whites are not becoming better off than them. So much winning. . . for corporations and plutocrats!

Trump supporters, despite being in the same boat financially as non-whites, amazingly vote against their own self interest for Republican lackeys who adopt laws and policies which reward plutocrats handsomely while simultaneously sinking the middle class.
Trump supporters, despite being in the same boat financially as non-whites, amazingly vote against their own self interest for Republican lackeys who adopt laws and policies which reward plutocrats handsomely while simultaneously sinking the middle class.

Rod In The Headlights

The mask has been removed from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and as it turns out, it doesn’t seem that he’s not all that committed to rule of law as his title may imply. Many details have come to light about how Rosenstein had to walk a political tightrope to mollify our petulant, man child CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump. And he even became angry at the press for treating Trump unfairly. Oh, boo-hoo! You’re supposed to uphold the law and instead you let Trump piss all over the constitution. As one ex-DOJ critic summarized, Rosenstein was weak. “He shouldn’t be talking to the president about an investigation into the president under any circumstances and he shouldn’t be giving him assurances about how that investigation will end and he especially shouldn’t be doing it at a time when he’s begging and pleading for his own job… The way to understand Rod is he’s weak, and he’s always been weak. He was weak at the beginning of this investigation when he signed off on the Comey firing and gave the president the excuse, despite––we now know, having read the Mueller report––that he knew why the president was firing Comey, that it was over the Russia investigation.”

We here at the Bucket noticed Mr. Rosenstein’s stone face demeanor at Bill Barr’s pre-Mueller report release con job party where the Republican obfuscator attempted Jedi mind-tricks on the American people. And we wondered to ourselves, is that Rod Rosenstein or a deer in the headlights? Many people have speculated about the thoughts running through his head as Barr misled the public. We think he was saying, “Oh oh…now everyone knows that I’m just a pro-Trump stooge.” We’re looking forward to your retirement, Mr. Rosenstein! We have no doubt you’ll get a comfy position at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein bears a striking resemblance to a deer in the headlights especially during Bill Barr's deceptive press conference before the release of the Mueller report where he seems to be thinking "Oh oh...now everyone knows that I'm just a pro-Trump stooge."
Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein bears a striking resemblance to a deer in the headlights especially during Bill Barr’s deceptive press conference before the release of the Mueller report where he seems to be thinking, “Oh oh…now everyone knows that I’m just a pro-Trump stooge.”