Tag Archive for election

Racists Pickin’ Cotton?

Lost amidst the recent headlines of America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump ignoring Russia’s bounties on American soldiers in Afghanistan, the ever expanding number of COVID-19 cases in the U.S. and all the other Trumpf*ckery that is transpiring right now, is the apparent debut of the possible new standard bearer for the Republican party in the 2024 presidential election. The polls are so bad for Trump that some Republicans seem to be giving up hope and laying the groundwork for a successor to the authoritarian wing of the GOP. Some are even saying Trump will drop out. We don’t know about that but there’s one person who has stepped forward as the new white hope for Republicans: Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton.

Cotton recently penned a much criticized opinion piece in the New York Times stating that the military must be used to crush any protesters with overwhelming force. Gee, Mr. Cotton. . . does that go for the boneheaded, assault rifle toting, anti-lockdown MÆGAMorons who don’t want to wear a mask because it doesn’t look manly? Of course not! Those guys are white! Now, we’re not saying Cotton is racist but he sure is using the same dog whistles as Trump and other GOP Senators from the South have been using . . . for decades.

In addition to his toxic tome in the Times, he also spouted similar racist logic recently when the House approved statehood for Washington D.C. In Cotton’s dissenting viewpoint: despite that “the District has more residents than both Wyoming and Vermont, he argued that its economy and political leanings disqualified it from full representation. Its citizens, he suggested, were incapable of governing themselves responsibly and, in any case, did not deserve a voice in Congress because they hold jobs he considered illegitimate“. When you consider the fact that the majority of D.C. is African-American and Democrat . . . yeah, that’s some pretty good racism right there. Then Cotton said Wyoming’s “well-rounded working class” was more worthy of statehood. As you already may have surmised, Wyoming is mostly white (around 80%) and very Republican. Yep, we’re thinking the possible new GOP standard bearer Tom Cotton will be a dad gum fine heir to the right-wing, authoritarian, fascist, Nazi and KKK loving, redneck empire, now called the Republican party.

Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.
Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.

Mister Fitness

Things are not going well lately for America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. His coronavirus response has been anemic as COVID-19 cases continues to escalate across the United States and the death toll mounts. His ‘comeback rally’ in Tulsa was a complete and total disaster. His poll numbers are tanking and Joe Biden has opened up a sizable lead, although we know better (see the 2016 presidential elections) than to completely trust polls especially four months before election day.

But probably the funniest thing that’s happened is the problems our fearless Leader has had with basic human motor functions. Much mockery has been made of Trump’s exit down a ramp from a West Point speech that made him appear “like a baby deer on a frozen pond”. During that same West Point speech, our orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist drank a glass of water like a toddler using his sippy cup. Normally, we wouldn’t mock elderly people who are having trouble. However, Trump has derided and mocked others every day of his clusterf*ck of a presidency while simultaneously bragging what a perfect human specimen he is. He has become so unhinged that he spent several minutes regaling the crowd of his domination of the water glass and his ramp descent like he had just single-handedly wrestled a hippo into submission in the Congo. He even drank a glass of water with one hand, to hoots and hollers from the small crowd. So, this is what it’s come to, folks; Trump supporters are cheering for and worshiping a man because he can drink a glass of water . . . with one hand. Yikes!!!

Yes, Donald Trump is Mister Fitness, America. We have no doubt that soon he’ll be boasting about running a mile under four . . . HOURS.

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.

Trump’s Tulsa Turdfest

How ’bout that rally in Tulsa? Talk about your turdfest! Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump really laid an egg Saturday night at his Nuremberg rally for his MÆGAMoron followers. The Tulsa fire department listed the attendance at 6,200, which is about 1/3 the 19,000 seat capacity for the BOK Center. Compare the actual turnout with the millions of ticket requests boasted by the Trump campaign and you can quickly surmise what a complete and total clusterf*ck this was.

What caused this hilarious debacle for the orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist? Tik-Tok users and K-pop fans are taking credit for the reduced crowd by claiming they submitted fake requests. Also contributing, the unrelenting march of COVID-19 with massive coronavirus spikes throughout the Sun Belt. Trump did himself no favors by requiring attendees to sign a liability waiver form absolving Trump of any responsibility if they get sick. Indeed, several Trump staffers tested positive for COVID-19 before and after the rally. Oooops!

Any way you slice it, Trump’s Tulsa rally was an unmitigated disaster. Or as this article puts it, Trump wanted mayhem but got meh instead. Excuse us if we have nothing but Schadenfreude about this fiasco. Could it be that the end of the Trump authoritarian regime is nigh? Only four more months to find out.

The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader's presence with overwhelming electric energy.
The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader’s presence with overwhelming electric energy.

Going Rogue!

Continuing with our ‘something completely different – get me the hell out of the nightmare year that is 2020’ photo-toon retrospective. . .

Remember when the craziest thing about the Republican party was Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin? Fun times! The Queen of Wasilla certainly made quite a ruckus when she published her book Going Rogue. Oh right. . . late Senator John McCain also chose her as his Vice Presidential candidate in 2008, which resulted in the rise of the Teabaggers in 2010. Ooops!!! Yeah, we never forgave McCain for that one.

Here’s a photo-toon from our October 28, 2008 issue featuring a certain beloved cartoon character moose who has fallen victim to a certain rogue hunter.

The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.
The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.

Like Father, Like Son

Straight out of the Oh, Da Irony file, comes this tidbit and just in time for April Fools Day. It seems crusty ol’ contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul has emerged from the his old prospector’s pit to give his two cents worth about the coronavirus and, surprise surprise, he’s agin’ it. We roundly mocked Paul during Con-a-thon 2012 and rightfully so. His views are and have always been all over the place.

Cue the entrance of his son, Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, who also was taking the coronavirus pandemic very lightly until, drum roll please, he tested positive for coronavirus even though he’s asymptomatic. But that didn’t stop ol’ Randy boy, no sir. After he got tested, he made the rounds at the gym and pool among other places before he got the results, thus possibly infecting many other individuals.

What makes this father and son pair’s actions even more astounding is that they’re both physicians. They should know better! Well, we think we know why they turned to politics. If they were still practicing medicine, their patients would probably be dead.

Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon, Ron Paul, reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.
Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.

Coronavirusing The Election

The coronavirus pandemic has brought out the strangeness of humanity. On one hand you have the Italian people singing from balconies in a touching effort to stay connected with each other. On the other hand, for some strange reason, people are hoarding toilet paper and acting like this is the apocalypse, which has now caused problems with the sewers in California with people using alternatives. The stock market has lost just about all its gains from the Trump era. Not only that, Republicans are somehow embracing socialism, proposing sending every American one thousand dollars to deal with the crisis.

While Covid-19 has wreaked havoc on the world, Vladimir Putin has pulled strings in Russia so that he will remain President until 2036. Hell, let’s just call this what it is: President-for-life(a.k.a.dictator) . . . and quite possibly even after his death (we’re sure he’ll find a way). This is hardly the actions of a healthy democracy now is it. Speaking of healthy, Russia seems to avoiding coronavirus surprisingly well. Hmmmmmm….

Yet we have no doubt that America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump is green with envy about his man crush Putin. Trumpty Dumpty has hinted on more than one occasion about how being ‘president for life’ would be a wonderful thing for America. The Republicans have been working feverishly to enact voter suppression laws across America. Last week we saw that fear of coronavirus kept some people away from primaries and many states are even postponing their presidential primary elections. Reports have indicated that Covid-19 may come in waves so that we will have to be on guard until next year. Could it be that Trump, in an effort to keep power, cancels the 2020 election due to a serious coronavirus wave outbreak? If it sounds evil and vile, then you can bet Republicans are probably going to do it. The Republican-led Senate just gave Trump a free pass on impeachment despite him being guilty as hell, thus suspending rule of law, checks and balances and democracy. So, Trump can do whatever he wants. Republicans under Bush tried to create a perpetual war with its war on terrorism after 9/11. Now with many waves of coronavirus possible and the American public panicking like never before, Republicans will absolutely politicize the hell of it because if there’s one thing the GOP knows how to do, it’s fearmonger.

Keep the sheeple scared and keep ’em away from the polls! Yep, Trump’s definitely angling to join the President for Life club with his pal Vlad and his Republican sycophants are no doubt going to do their damnedest to try and make it happen.

Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America's Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals that he'll just cancel the 2020 election so that he will be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals a plan that will enable him to be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Rewind: A Promise Too Far

The 2020 presidential election has become clearer in the past week with the results of Super Tuesday. Joe Biden won a clear victory and is now the front runner with Bernie Sanders not too far behind in second place. Michael Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar have bowed out and given their support to Biden. Unfortunately, for all Americans, Elizabeth Warren, the smartest candidate running in this election, has also called it quits. So, basically it’s a two horse race between a couple senior citizens; one a corporatist, one a social democrat. We’ve got the funny feeling that once again, despite having a myriad of social programs(Medicare, Social Security, etc…) already in place, Americans are still having a collective brain fart on social democracy and socialism.

Honestly, we prefer the Warren-Sanders wing of the Democrat Party. However, although we here at the Bucket are progressive independents, we are voting for whomever the Democratic nominee is, just like we have for the past twenty-eight years. Just look at the Trump administration in addition to the Bush administration (not to mention the first Bush and the Reagan administrations) and you’ll understand why we’ll never vote for another Republican as long as we live. But we’ve been around long enough to know that Joe Biden is not the perfect candidate. Let’s face it, folks; Biden likes to bullshit and he’s a big time gaffe master. If there’s a chance he’ll stick his foot in his mouth or tell embarrassing tall tales, he will. Back in 2008 when Obama named Biden his VP, we collectively slapped our foreheads and said “Oh, oh!” But thankfully, Biden turned out to be a commendable Vice President. He is a good, honorable man who will do the right thing for all Americans. But, he will also do and say some stupid things along the way, guaranteed. So, don’t let the conservative corporate media or Fox News Republican propaganda machine fool you. Yes, Biden’s having senior moments, but then again Trumpty Dumpty is outpacing Uncle Joe on that front by a country mile. Donald Trump is by the far the WORST choice for America and the world and he proves it on a daily basis.

Here’s a photo-toon from our March 7, 2009 issue, where Obama assures the American populace that Biden will not insert his foot into his mouth while Uncle Joe has some reservations about that prospect.

President Obama may have made one promise he can't keep. concerning Vice President and gaffe master Joe Biden.
President Obama may have made one promise he can’t keep.

GOP Ventriloquist Theater

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s revenge vendetta is still going strong following his sham acquittal during his impeachment ‘trial’ in the Senate. Now, our orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House is using mafioso tactics using the Department of Justice as his muscle to enforce whatever the Don wants.

Chief among the controversial, authoritarian tactics is the brow beating of prosecutors to get his pal and major conehead Roger Stone a reduced sentence for seven counts of lying to Congress and witness tampering. The original prosecutors suggested a seven to nine year sentence, but thanks to Trump’s rage tweeting and Attorney General Bill Barr’s intervention, Stone got just a forty month sentence. Trump’s also pardoned several high profile, white collar criminals such as former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, junk bond king Michael Milken, tax cheat and Rudy Giuliani pal Bernie Kerik and Medicare fraudster Judith Negron.

What’s even more dubious is the political theater performed by the Trump administration trotting out Bill Barr to act like a put upon Attorney General who has, gosh darn it, just about had enough, to which master ventriloquist Trumpty Dumpty dismissed the criticism stating that he has a ‘legal right’ to meddle in DOJ cases. This ventriloquist act reminds us of the crap Cheney did with Dubya back during the Bush administration (you know Cheney was pulling the strings during the Bush administration). This lame ass performance is fooling only sycophantic Republican senators like Lisa Murkowski, Lamar Alexander and Susan Collins, who are convinced that Trump has learned his lesson and will be a good boy from now on. Alexander is not running for re-election and Murkowski’s seat isn’t up until 2022. But we’re hoping that the good citizens of Maine have learned their lesson and will choose to send the oft ‘concerned’ and addled Collins to a retirement home come this November.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as 'concerned' Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, shows off his new ventriloquist act with dummy Attorney General Bill Barr, as ‘concerned’ Senator Susan Collins looks on, satisfied that little Donald has learned his lesson about abusing power and destroying democracy.

Iowa Caucus: There’s Not An App For That

The election primary season is kicking off and the Democratic needed a solid beginning to send a strong message to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump that his days as ‘dear Leader’ of this country are numbered. But instead of serving up a caucus the Iowa Democrats served up a caucusf*ck. Apparently, an app the administrators had a “reporting issue” and wasn’t functioning properly and brought the integrity of the results into question. It’s the weekend but the precise results are still in doubt with Pete Buttigieg and Bernie Sanders both claiming victories. Talk about serving up red meat to Trump. You just know that the orange haired megalomaniac and his flying monkey sycophants at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, will continually point to the incompetence displayed during the caucus as proof that Democrats will do anything to ‘rig an election’ and cannot be trusted. And all this after a superb performance by House Democrats, led by Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler, in proving the guilt of Trump in his impeachment trial.

At least the Iowa fiasco is pushing forth a movement that just might get rid of the troublesome caucus forever and install a primary system in its stead just like almost every other state. There are several annoying anomalies on the Democratic primary side (superdelegates, anyone), and if the Dems finally decide to move into the 21st century and kill off the caucus and superdelegates, then that would probably increase their chances in future elections. Plus, there’s no way Iowa should be the first voting event of the presidential elections season since its demographics are so homogeneous. Here’s hoping at least that the Democrats learn something from this debacle.

America's CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.
America’s CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.

GOP: Trump Über Alles

We knew before the impeachment process began that the Republicans would acquit America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump of any wrongdoing (with Spiff Romney being the lone Republican to vote to convict – note: we’ve given Romney a lot of crap over the years but he got it right this time; Good job!) but it doesn’t make it any easier to take it. To their credit, the Democrats, led by Adam Schiff, did an exceptional job of proving Trump’s guilt in the quid pro quo bullying of Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden in exchange for foreign aid. Which makes it infuriating to watch the self-proclaimed ‘morally superior’ GOP make a complete sham out of the proceedings. The charlatans didn’t even want witnesses called! Polls indicated that 75 percent of Americans thought witnesses should be called. What’s a trial without witnesses! Well, apparently it’s completely normal in Trumpland, where the Kansas City Chiefs play their games in Kansas City, Kansas instead of Kansas City, Missouri and Donald Trump is a master meteorologist.

The fact is that Republicans even admitted that Trump is guilty and they’re still voting to acquit him. Lamar Alexander said Trump did the quid pro quo but it’s not impeachable. Linda Murkowski said pretty much the same thing, saying what Trump did was “shameful and wrong”, but that she couldn’t vote to convict. So basically, in the warped mind of a conservative, lying about sex is impeachable and asking for foreign aid on a political rival is a-okay. Just put little baby Donald in time-out and he won’t do it again. But Trump is already reported plotting revenge on all the people who wronged him.

Chief Justice John Roberts did nothing to dispel his perception of being a partisan hack. Remember Roberts fully approved of the Citizens United verdict that gave unlimited power to corporate America to contribute to campaigns. And despite his voting for Obamacare, we knew he was still a true conservative Republican. He could have intervened and insisted on witnesses, but he didn’t. He seemingly has no qualms on presiding over a travesty of justice. Great example there, Chief Justice Roberts!

The GOP keeps whining that the Democrats are trying for a coup, which is a complete projection of what the Republicans have done since the 2016 election which they stole thanks to Russian election interference and suspension of the rule of law for selecting a Supreme Court justice (Merrick Garland) in the Senate by Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy. Even Karl Rove admitted during Dubya’s fiasco of a presidency that he was determined to have the same kind of Republican hegemony that existed between 1865 and 1932 when Mark Hanna was the chief political operative and only two Democrats served as president during that span (Grover Cleveland – two non-consecutive terms, 1885-1889, 1893-1897; Woodrow Wilson 1913-1921). Now with thisclusterf*ck of a trial, the Republicans have pretty much deemed that Trump can do whatever the hell he wants to do and not suffer any kind of consequences and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This despite the fact that since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in presidential elections once. We agree with the many people who are saying that just like the 2016 election, the megalomaniac Trump will never accept the results of the 2020 election if he loses and America will have yet another constitutional crisis involving Trump and the Republicans.

So, in true right wing, conservative Republican, authoritarian fashion, life in the United States can now be summed up by the mantra, Trump über alles. Enjoy your fascism, America – oh… and Heil Trump!

With their sham impeachment trial, Senate Republicans have officially declared that America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is above the law and that democracy and rule of law no longer exist in the United States. In other words, Trump über alles, or in other other words, Heil Trump!
With their sham impeachment trial, Senate Republicans have officially declared that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is above the law and that democracy and rule of law no longer exist in the United States. In other words, Trump über alles, or in other other words, Heil Trump!