Archive for Meme-ries

Mister Fitness

Things are not going well lately for America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. His coronavirus response has been anemic as COVID-19 cases continues to escalate across the United States and the death toll mounts. His ‘comeback rally’ in Tulsa was a complete and total disaster. His poll numbers are tanking and Joe Biden has opened up a sizable lead, although we know better (see the 2016 presidential elections) than to completely trust polls especially four months before election day.

But probably the funniest thing that’s happened is the problems our fearless Leader has had with basic human motor functions. Much mockery has been made of Trump’s exit down a ramp from a West Point speech that made him appear “like a baby deer on a frozen pond”. During that same West Point speech, our orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist drank a glass of water like a toddler using his sippy cup. Normally, we wouldn’t mock elderly people who are having trouble. However, Trump has derided and mocked others every day of his clusterf*ck of a presidency while simultaneously bragging what a perfect human specimen he is. He has become so unhinged that he spent several minutes regaling the crowd of his domination of the water glass and his ramp descent like he had just single-handedly wrestled a hippo into submission in the Congo. He even drank a glass of water with one hand, to hoots and hollers from the small crowd. So, this is what it’s come to, folks; Trump supporters are cheering for and worshiping a man because he can drink a glass of water . . . with one hand. Yikes!!!

Yes, Donald Trump is Mister Fitness, America. We have no doubt that soon he’ll be boasting about running a mile under four . . . HOURS.

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.

Trump’s Tulsa Turdfest

How ’bout that rally in Tulsa? Talk about your turdfest! Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump really laid an egg Saturday night at his Nuremberg rally for his MÆGAMoron followers. The Tulsa fire department listed the attendance at 6,200, which is about 1/3 the 19,000 seat capacity for the BOK Center. Compare the actual turnout with the millions of ticket requests boasted by the Trump campaign and you can quickly surmise what a complete and total clusterf*ck this was.

What caused this hilarious debacle for the orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist? Tik-Tok users and K-pop fans are taking credit for the reduced crowd by claiming they submitted fake requests. Also contributing, the unrelenting march of COVID-19 with massive coronavirus spikes throughout the Sun Belt. Trump did himself no favors by requiring attendees to sign a liability waiver form absolving Trump of any responsibility if they get sick. Indeed, several Trump staffers tested positive for COVID-19 before and after the rally. Oooops!

Any way you slice it, Trump’s Tulsa rally was an unmitigated disaster. Or as this article puts it, Trump wanted mayhem but got meh instead. Excuse us if we have nothing but Schadenfreude about this fiasco. Could it be that the end of the Trump authoritarian regime is nigh? Only four more months to find out.

The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader's presence with overwhelming electric energy.
The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader’s presence with overwhelming electric energy.

Wrapped In The Flag; Carrying A Cross

Let’s face it, folks; the year 2020 sucks! The events of the last two weeks (not to mention the last three years) have profoundly disturbed and shook us, which is why we had to recently post some old photo-toons so we could wrap our heads about the ugliness of it all. First, there was the repugnant murder of an unarmed black civilian, George Floyd, by Minneapolis police officers. If you’re any kind of sentient, sane, compassionate, sympathetic human being, the video of the police officer with his knee on Mr. Floyd’s neck was nauseating to watch. Predictably and justifiably, protests broke out, not only in cities across America but in other countries around the world. Unfortunately, our Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump, decided to play authoritarian strongman and chose to throw gasoline on the fire by egging police and military forces to take harsh actions against any and all protesters. He called for governors in each state to ‘dominate’. It’s kind of ironic that just a couple weeks ago, when the MÆGAMorons protested not being able to get manicures because of the coronavirus shutdown, Trump was all for protesters to liberate their states.

The examples of brutality have become legion in the past week alone. Certainly, the most visible is the one Trump and his droopy-faced hound dog Attorney General William Barr instigated by scheduling a photo-op and sending tear gas into a crowd so Trump could waltz across the street from his White House bunker to St. John’s church so he could hold a bible upside down and proclaim that he’s doing God’s work. Really convincing, eh? Even religious leaders criticized Trump for his using the bible as a prop. Of course, Trump and his fascist gaslighters have denied using tear gas despite the evidence. Also notable at this incident, were several unidentified armored officers. Could these secretive security forces possibly be Trump’s version of brownshirts showing up to enforce the will of dear Leader Trump? It certainly seems like it.

We’ve commented many times about fascism and fascists, especially the prediction credited to Sinclair Lewis that when it comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. We even posted, before Trump was even elected, a handy dandy checklist comparing the NSDAP Party of 1930s Germany with 21st century Republicans. You know why? We’ve read a lot about the subject and when we see similarities we mention them. Like in Naomi Klein’s excellent book, The Shock Doctrine, Trump is following the playbook of authoritarian leaders who shock their own citizens into accepting their ideology and economic world view. The GOP has been planning this for the past twenty years. We even posted about it after Trump’s sham of an impeachment trial; it’s Trump über alles. Trump has been shocking us on a daily basis with a Twitter blitzkrieg for the last three years to crush our will and depress us. And what are the Republicans in Congress doing? They’re letting him get away with it because this is their plan. They’re goosestepping right behind him, pushing through laws that favor corporations and plutocrats while destroying the middle class as Trumpty Dumpty and Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican propaganda network, distract and gaslight us to death. Could these latest acts of authoritarianism and police brutality be the breaking point? We certainly hope so. We must continue to protest this clusterf*ck of a presidency and stand up against authoritarian rule. Fascism is unacceptable in America. Democracy and rule of law are what this country is all about. Freedom of speech is one of our most cherished freedoms. This is a country, by the people for the people; not by the corporation for the corporation. We the people must vote Trump and his fascist cohorts out of office in November!

Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates that fascism has arrived in America by sexually abusing a flag (wrapped in the flag) and displaying an upside down bible (carrying a cross).
Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates that fascism has arrived in America by sexually abusing a flag (wrapped in the flag) and displaying an upside down bible (carrying a cross).

Rand’s Gospel O’ Greed

The coronavirus pandemic rages on with over 1.4 million cases in the U.S. and over 88 thousand deaths (that’s almost 30 9/11s folks). And yet, many states, like Wisconsin, have decided that it doesn’t matter that the curve hasn’t flattened yet in the U.S., the economy must be restarted, damn the consequences. The gods of greed on Wall Street must be sated and stock prices must climb no matter how many people become sick and die. Money, money, money! Greed, greed, greed!

We’ve commented many times about the hypocrisy of right-wing, conservative, christian Republicans who proclaim their love of Jesus but in the same breath advocate the ramblings of Ayn Rand, who taught the gospel of greed: greed is a good thing; who cares about community; promote yourself constantly, to hell with all others; I got mine, screw you. We’ve got evangelical hucksters preaching the prosperity gospel. Former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, professed to be a catholic but at the same time admired Rand. But Rand’s philosophy is the exact opposite of Jesus’ teachings as this linked article points out. Rand promoted being selfish where Jesus said that being selfless and caring about your fellow man is the way to live your life.

Now we’re atheists here at the Bucket, so at first glance one might think we’d be in Rand’s corner, since she was atheist, too. But we’re also non-materialistic environmentalists. We need to live in harmony with our environment. We advocate the ‘simplify, simplify’ mantra of Henry David Thoreau. We also live our lives according to the golden rule, which is completely in line with the teachings of Jesus. We’re absolutely anti-greed and anti-corporation and call out the conservative christian Republican hypocrites who see no problem promoting both Rand and Jesus.

The grand problem for today’s christians is that they’ve been brainwashed by our capitalistic overlords that socialism is a bad thing when in actuality, Jesus’ teachings were socialistic. Unfortunately, our brand of capitalism has taken root throughout the civilized world and it’s taken the coronavirus pandemic to show how utterly cruel, empty, unethical, immoral, corrupt, depraved, inhumane and unchristian modern day capitalism is. Greed is not good! If humans have to sacrifice themselves at the altar of capitalism so the economy can function, then maybe we should look to another economic system like socialism to keep our civilization sane, wise and healthy.

Modern conservative christian Republicans seem to have no problem with the hypocrisy of worshipping both Jesus, who preached selflessness, and Ayn Rand, who advocated selfishness and greed.
Modern conservative christian Republicans seem to have no problem with the hypocrisy of worshipping both Jesus, who preached selflessness, and Ayn Rand, who advocated selfishness and greed.

The Return of the Medieval Barber

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump provided more evidence of his superior brain last week when he suggested that maybe it would be possible to rid ourselves of the coronavirus scourge by just maybe injecting some disinfectant into our bodies or perhaps shine some light into our bodies so that pesky virus will die already and Trump’s stock market can grow again and his troglodyte followers can get haircuts and attend his stupid rallies to bask in his wisdom.

Of course, Trump has already received tons of flack for his pushing of hydroxychloroquine as a possible cure for COVID-19 despite scientific evidence to the contrary. But then again, facts have never been a hindrance for Trump. In his petulant, warped, authoritarian mind, the truth is what he says it is. What is Trump’s next suggestion going to be? Will he channel the medieval barbers of yore and posit that leeches and a good blood-letting will cure you? Maybe drill some holes in the skull to let the bad humors out? They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but no knowledge, especially in the leader of the free world, is proving to be catastrophic.

We noted in our last post that TV clown doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, both came to Trump’s rescue by touting reopening the country despite all evidence pointing to the fact we’re not ready yet. But what is truly amazing is that none of the medical professionals like Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx will come right out and tell Donald Trump to shut the hell up. Dr. Fauci has spoken out afterward, but never to his face. And Dr. Birx just seems to hide behind her facade of multi-colored scarves, chomping at the bit but saying nothing. But then again, that’s typical for today’s modern, fascist, authoritarian loving Republican party. Just do what dear Leader says and shut the hell up. Enjoy your Clorox cocktails everyone!

The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.
The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.

The Derp Doctors

Last week, Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, trotted out two famous television doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, to spew forth reasons why America should open up the economy despite nationally, being nowhere close to flattening the curve of the coronavirus pandemic. Both doctors, surprisingly enough, got their big break from the queen of all media Oprah Winfrey. Staff member Chester Einstein has always been a huge fan of Ms. Winfrey, but when it comes to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, he’s reduced to twiddling his lips. Quoting Chester, “These guys are clowns!” And from what these TV physicians said last week, we’re inclined to agree. As a matter of fact, we think they’re Oprah’s two biggest mistakes.

First, Dr. Phil. We’ve always thought his folksy prescriptions for living a better life were a bit reminiscent of a snake oil salesman. We even created a BilgeBucket list of Dr. Phils folksiest pieces of advice bullshit for improving your life. We’re particularly fond of ” If you can con Oprah into thinking you know something, start pricing solid gold houses .” Remember, she was hoodwinked by author James Frey. Anyway, Dr. Phil started making ill-advised and completely inappropriate comparisons of COVID-19 deaths to swimming pool, auto accident and smoking deaths. He stated basically that people die all the time, why not just open up the country.

Dr. Oz made a similar tone deaf argument stating that we need to open up schools as soon as possible, saying that a 2-3% death rate for children might be considered acceptable. Really!!!??? This quack has already been backpedaling on his comments about hydroxychloroquine. Now this blubbering bonehead, along with Dr. Phil are moonwalking more than Michael Jackson. One thing’s for sure: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are now America’s Derp Doctors. Trust them at your own risk, America.

Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America's Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.
Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America’s Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.

MÆGAMORONS: They Need Manicures!

We’re still shaking our heads at the stupidity of the MÆGAMorons or Teabaggers 2.0 and their insipid open up the country protests, despite the still rising number of cases of COVID-19 across the country and the world. The reason: they miss getting haircuts and manicures. These idiots, who’ve prided themselves that they collected enough rations to survive for years in the coming apocalypse, can’t make it a month on moderate social distancing. This shutdown isn’t to take away our freedoms; it’s for the safety of all Americans so we don’t get this nasty disease which currently has a 7 percent death rate worldwide. Like we stated in our previous post, should we protest when the weather service issues a tornado warning. It’s almost hurricane season; should we just ignore hurricane warnings because they infringe upon our freedoms for a while. This shutdown isn’t permanent, folks. If we can keep a lid on things until June, there’s a good chance the second wave, which will be coming, won’t be quite so bad.

But nooooooooo! States like Georgia and Michigan have already started to open things up. People flocked to beaches in southern California. We just hope that if these people do get sick, they won’t bother to go to the hospital. Just let your local Republican know that you gave your life for the economy and we’ll sure they’ll remember your sacrifice.

MÆGAMorons: Goddamn it! They need manicures!
MÆGAMorons: Goddamn it! They need manicures!

Trump Supporters: Bat Shit Insane

In our previous post we commented about America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump and his mind boggling, head spinning pivots on authority for opening up the coronavirus during the COVID-19 pandemic. One day he says he has authority, the next day he says the governors have authority and then the day after that he encourages civil war by urging his brain dead troglodyte followers to LIBERATE their respective states.

Yes, lets talk briefly about these bat shit insane boneheads who don’t like being told to follow safety precautions to save their own lives. It’s basically the stupid Teabagger movement redux. The corporate media is doing the same thing they did ten years ago – a small group of idiots, armed to the teeth, band together and protest common sense and the corporate media foams at the mouth and gives them top story coverage. That’s because there are some insidious right wing conservative groups behind the lock down protests with solid connections to the anything-for-profit media. In contrast, tens of thousands of people have peacefully and non-violently protested the vile, oppressive policies of the Trump administration and the Republicans and the corporate media gives them barely a passing mention. Un-f*cking-believable!

But the stupidity of these MÆGAMorons is off the charts on the bat shit insanity meter. These shutdown orders are to save your lives not to inconvenience you. What’s next? These idiots will protest taking shelter during a tornado warning because it violates their constitutional freedom. There were even signs among the protesters that proclaimed “My body, my choice.” But yet these same assholes are perfectly fine with the government telling a woman what to do with her uterus. What colossal dumbass hypocrites! These people are actually choosing to be exposed to a debilitating disease which may kill them or kill their loved ones; all in order to maybe bump the stock market up a few points and keep our plutocratic overlords wealthy. Un-f*cking-believable!

But then Las Vegas mayor Carolyn Goodman topped all the stupid meters by suggesting a Hunger Games type scenario where all the casinos open up and the ones who have the least amount of COVID-19 cases, win. Ahhh! The wonderful, magical free market! We’re getting tired of saying un-f*cking-believable so we’ll just say this: when it comes to the bat shit insane MÆGAMorons versus the coronavirus – we’re rooting for the virus. Natural selection, take them away!

A bat shit insane Trump supporter or MÆGAMorons proudly defies orders to take shelter from a killer tornado to preserve his constitutional freedom.
Trump supporters or MÆGAMorons have made it clear that they will not tolerate any ‘guvment’ orders which may violate their constitutional freedom even if it’s to save their moronic, bat shit insane lives.

Trump: Bat Shit Insane

Another day, another bat shit insane action by America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump and his army of mindless sycophants. This time, Trump performed head revolutions worthy of the demon from The Exorcist. At the beginning of last week, Trump proclaimed that the ultimate authority laid with him in the reopening of America’s businesses, in shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic currently ravaging the world’s human population. This predictably produced much backlash from people who like the Constitution, law and order, democracy, science, logic and reason. Like Dr. Fauci had said previously, Trump just can’t tell the virus when it has to stop; we don’t set the timetable. So, on this past Thursday Trumpty Dumpty made an announcement stating the ultimate authority on reopening the economy should lie with the governor of each individual state.

You would think that Trump thumpers, being states rights advocates and all that, would have rejoiced. But nooooooooo! Reminiscent of the teabagger movement from ten years ago, armed idiots took to the streets on Friday in states such as Michigan, Ohio and Kentucky proclaiming loudly to all that they will not follow shutdown orders; that it violates their constitutional rights. To make matters ridiculous, our megalomaniac dear Leader tweeted for these ‘very responsible people’ to LIBERATE their respective states, effectively nullifying his statement of the previous day. These aren’t the actions of a level headed, clear minded, logical leader. These are the actions of a bat shit insane, narcissistic asshole who has no regard for human life.

There has been more than 40,000 lives lost in the last two months due to COVID-19. Our leaders should be taking this seriously. The goal should be reopening the country when we have proper testing available so more people won’t fall victim to the virus. But what does Florida governor Rick DeSantis do? He reopens beaches around Jacksonville while Florida is still getting slammed by the virus. The conservative Republicans values have been exposed for all to see and. . . surprise, surprise. . . the only thing they care about is money, wealth and power.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates the bat shit insanity that has endeared him to his equally bat shit insane followers.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump demonstrates the bat shit insanity that has endeared him to his equally bat shit insane followers.

The Gods of Greed

The coronavirus pandemic is still wreaking havoc on the human population across the planet with the death rate at close to 6% globally. The United States now leads the world in coronavirus cases by a large margin with over 500,000 cases and in deaths with over 21,000. Not only has COVID-19 exposed the incompetence of the Trump administration, but it’s revealed the true abhorrent nature of right wing propaganda media outlets like Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, and has destroyed the myth of a strong economy that American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has touted since day one of his clusterf*ck of a presidency.

Trump has taken over the media since the coronavirus outbreak and on a daily basis shown that he is a truly horrible, tone deaf, uncaring heel. He openly has pushed for the use of hydroxychloroquine as a possible cure for COVID-19 despite medical evidence to the contrary. He has openly tried to gaslight the public in saying that he was always concerned about the coronavirus pandemic when he clearly mocked the media for touting its danger back in January and February, calling it ‘the next democratic hoax’ and stating that the virus will go away by April. (Editor’s note – we were skeptical back then, too – but at least we’ll admit we underestimated the original situation). In typical Trumpian fashion, he has blamed everyone but himself. His daily briefings are nothing more than political rallies where he crows about what a fantastic job he’s doing and that his ratings are higher than ever. He even brought out the My Pillow guy to prop him up. In Trump’s warped mind, over 21,000 (that’s seven 9/11s, folks) deaths in a two month span is a good thing and apparently we should congratulate him. Remember when he tweeted in 2014 calling for Obama to resign because of his handling of Ebola which resulted in two American deaths. No hypocrisy there, eh?

Fox News has also been doing its part in the gaslighting of America, too. When the pandemic first broke back in February, they openly called it a hoax and nothing to worry about. Twenty-one thousand American deaths later, they’re walking back their comments like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk. Trump bootlicker extraordinaire Sean Hannity even had the gaul to say that Fox has always been concerned about the coronavirus, conveniently forgetting that there are video records showing the contrary. Fortunately, they’re getting sued for spreading lies and misinformation to the American public about coronavirus. Will justice be served and Fox be driven into the ground? We can only hope, but like John Oliver recently revealed on his excellent show, there are more bat shit insane right wing networks like OAN waiting in the wings to take Fox’s place.

The true emptiness of our capitalistic society has also been exposed with this pandemic. People have been trying to make boatloads of money off the shortages of paper products from the panic buying last month in the very definition of disaster capitalism. The stock market has lost much of its gains of the Trump era despite billionaires pumping money into the voracious, insatiable maw of Wall Street. Pundits like tin foil hat king Glenn Beck have even put forth notions that people should sacrifice themselves in order to save the stock market. Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin has even suggested that people are going to die anyway, why not sacrifice yourself for the stockholders of America. And somehow, disgraced former Fox News propagandist and self-proclaimed history detective Bill O’Reilly has appeared back on the air and has been blathering the same kind of thing as Johnson saying that the deaths have been people who ‘were on their last legs anyway’. What a compassionate conservative christian!

That’s where we are, folks; our leaders and right wing media pundits are actually suggesting we lay down our lives for profit. For those christians out there, is this what Jesus would do? With the coronavirus pandemic, we now know that to the Republican party, certain people in America (a.k.a. the non 1%ers) just don’t matter and they should sacrifice themselves on the altar of capitalism in order to appease the Gods of Greed; the capitalistic overlords on Wall Street and plutocrats of corporate America.

The Gods of Greed: In order to save his precious stock market while simultaneously improving his all-important TV ratings, American CEO/Dictator and top notch medical professional Donald Trump and his horde of sycophantic Republican lackeys try to convince the American populace that granny and gramps must sacrifice themselves to the coronavirus pandemic on the altar of capitalism in order to save the lives of our greedy corporate overlords and the avaricious plutocratic gods on Wall Street. Rated R for Rapacious.
The Gods of Greed: In order to save his precious stock market while simultaneously improving his all-important TV ratings, American CEO/Dictator and top notch medical professional Donald Trump and his horde of sycophantic Republican lackeys try to convince the American populace that granny and gramps must sacrifice themselves to the coronavirus pandemic on the altar of capitalism in order to save the lives of our greedy corporate overlords and the avaricious plutocratic gods on Wall Street. Rated R for Rapacious.