Archive for Meme-ries

The Singing Rat

The big news the past week was the explosive testimony given by Michael Cohen, the former personal lawyer and ‘fixer’ for American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump.  In a hearing before the House Oversight committee, the rat Michael Cohen sang like a canary much to the chagrin of the House Republicans like Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows and Paul Gosar, who made absolute asses of themselves during the ‘interrogation’. They never questioned him but chose, in typical Republican fashion, only to assassinate his character, which we’ve all already surmised is abysmal. Even Cohen admitted he was a fool. The GOP logic: “You can’t trust a liar”.  The Republicans are also considerably irony impaired considering Cohen was the RNC’s deputy finance chairman up until eight months ago. Oh yeah…and then there’s the fact that Trump’s lie count is over 9,000.

One colossal buffoon was GOP Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, who said Cohen was testifying against Trump only because he had ‘sour grapes’ for not getting a White House job. Then Jordan pulled another typical Republican prank of trying to twist Cohen’s words, which caused Cohen to reply, “Shame on you, Mr. Jordan.” This is the same Jim Jordan, who kept quiet about alleged sexual abuse at Ohio State. So, Jordan is certainly not someone who should throw stones.

Another mammoth idiot was Arizona’s own Paul Gosar, who embarrassingly resorted to playground taunts of “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” and even had a poster with the same next to him at the hearing to which Cohen responded to Gosar, “Are you referring to me or the President?” Gosar  is famous for having six of his siblings take out an ad to vote against their brother in Arizona’s 4th district election in 2018. The fact that Gosar still won speaks more to the conservative loons in the 4th district who put this nutbag back into office. Maybe Gosar and Trump can retire and hang out at a grade school playground where they can ply their bullying tactics and be undisputed ‘kings’.

So what’s next for Michael Cohen besides much deserved jail time? How about a thrilling crime drama about an everyday goombah for a national criminal organization who turns state evidence against his crooked boss called ‘The Singing Rat’, rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

All The Money And Power, No Responsibility

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez(AOC) has made quite a splash in Washington D.C. The freshman congressperson has managed to tick off the stodgy old corporate Democrats and Republicans while invigorating Progressives across the nation. Perhaps her biggest headline so far is her push for a 70% top marginal tax rate. This means that the top earners in this country, people who earn more than $10 million, would pay a 70% tax rate. This has made most conservative Republicans, like the fine folks over at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, apoplectic. Republithugs and plutocrats alike have stepped forward to denounce the ‘socialist’ ideology of AOC. Former Wisconsin governor and derp-monger Scott Walker embarrassed himself by providing an inane example of the tax rate to school children. Billionaire Howard Schultz has stepped forward to proclaim, with a straight face no less, that this would not be good for him. Ahhhhh…poor little rich man!

Even people on the left have criticized AOC. Whoopi Goldberg, co-host on The View, stated that she needs to hush up and pay her dues. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (like the true corporatist she is) has pooh-poohed the Green New Deal that AOC is proposing. Whenever we hear people criticizing this young idealistic woman, we think of the words of David Bowie from his classic song Changes.

And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re goin’ through

We think that the only reason these critics on the left are pissed is that they sold out to corporate or monied interests instead of vigorously pursuing the ideological dreams that AOC pushes. Of course, Hollywood is infamous for people having to ‘pay their dues’.  It takes years, sometimes decades for actors and actresses to become ‘players’, so Ms. Goldberg’s comments shouldn’t surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last fifty years.

The fact is that the 70% top marginal tax rate has been done before very successfully. During the ’50s, the “good ol’ days” as most conservative Republicans would call them, the top marginal tax rate was well above 70% and guess what…prosperity broke out. The interstate highway system was completed. The space program was booted up which kick started numerous industries which employed millions. And it worked because Eisenhower was president and no spoiled, well-to-do corporate plutocrat had the cojones to question the leader of the D-Day invasion. Ike knew what sacrifice meant and he expected all Americans, even the rich, to participate and aid the country. Now the plutocrats and the oligarchs have an entire party, the Republicans, to do their bidding and they’ve managed to steal away the wealth from most of the citizenry of America. The richest 1% owns 40% of this nation’s wealth, the greatest wealth gap in history.

Unfortunately, in doesn’t just stop in America. Because of capitalism, on a world wide scale, just under 50 people have more wealth than the bottom 3.7 billion people in the world. That’s greed, egotism, selfishness, competitiveness and materialism gone amuck in a ‘bigly’ way.

We wish AOC all the best on her Green New Deal crusade and her political career. It’s about time politicians in Washington start giving a damn about our planet and preparing for the future of all species of life. Give ’em hell, AOC!

Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.

Modern day plutocrats and their Republican lackeys abhor a 70% Top Marginal tax rate because they want all the money and all the power, but none of the responsibility.

Stoney The Pinhead

Roger Stone has been plastered all over the news lately as the FBI raided his house last week and arrested the Trump crony and confidant in connection with lying about pursuing Russian hacked emails related with Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. Predictably, now Stone has been making the rounds whining about what a victim he is. A judge has even suggested a gag order to shut him up.

Stone is one weird, weird individual. He describes himself as an ‘agent provocateur’If anybody calls themselves an ‘agent provocateur’, run; run away fast – because that person is a colossal douchebag. Stone also has a tattoo of one of the most corrupt politicians of all time, Richard Nixon, on his back. Because of his admiration of Nixon, he proudly calls himself a ‘dirty trickster’, which may now get him in hot water with the Mueller investigation. Many jokes have been made about his attire, which transform him into some bizarre steampunk Batman villain.

But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Hamberder Heaven

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, recently make a big deal that the Clemson national championship football team was making a visit to the White House. So did billionaire Trump break out the bucks to entertain these athletic lads with a fine dining experience? In true Trumpian fashion, he treated them to piles and piles of hamburgers and other junk foods from fast food chains. We guess he just assumed that since he loves this crap, everybody else must do it as well.

Trump also glaringly lied about the numbers served saying one time 300 hamburgers were served. Then he tweeted hilariously that a 1000 ‘hamberders’ were served.  So if Trump isn’t lying, he’s misspelling…hugely. There’s that old adage that says “You are what you eat.” Well apparently, Trump is a pile of junk food.

America's CEO/Dictator and junk food and 'hamberder' aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

America’s CEO/Dictator and junk food and ‘hamberder’ aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

These Boots Were Made For Kicking Ass

We’ve decided to kick off the new year with a positive, non-Trump (or at least a minimal-Trump) post. Since the Democrats are now in charge of the House and Nancy Pelosi is set to become the Speaker of the House, we’re feeling a lot better about perhaps some justice coming to American CEO/Dictator and ill-tempered man child, Donald Trump, after two years of lies and corruption from his administration.

But in the mean time, let’s devote a little time to one of our favorite people here at the Bucket, Michelle Obama. The former First Lady has been making the rounds promoting her best selling book, Becoming. But she caused quite a sensation recently when she showed up to an event wearing a pair of $4000 designer boots. Now we adhere to the Henry David Thoreau mantra of “Simplify, Simplify” so we all think that’s a bit much to be paying for a pair of shoes. Staff member and living fossil Chester Einstein grumbles about paying $20 for a pair of loafers at Payless. But we’re also aware that conservative Republicans, who preach austerity to their sheeple, regularly go out and spend gobs of money on extravagant, expensive material possessions (see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, The Bushes, etc…). For instance, take current First Lady Melania Trump…please. She regularly wears glitzy, lavish, ostentatious clothing: remember her ‘fashionable’ “I don’t really care, do u” jacket. But then Republicans bitch anytime Democrats spend even a little bit of money. Sean Hannity and the faux journalists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, threw a memorable hissy fit when Barack Obama ordered spicy mustard for his burger back in 2009. Oh the humanity!!!

So although we pinch pennies better than Jack Benny, we think Michelle Obama looked fantastic and we say “Go get ’em!”  Who can forget her classy speech from the 2016 election when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” For normal, sane humans who believe in civilized society, these words are inspirational and right in line with the golden rule. But right wing, conservative, ‘christian’ Republicans only mocked and derided her. So, we’d like to suggest an minor update to our favorite First Lady for dealing with today’s Trumpian Republicans: “When they go low…put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***ing asses.”

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to now say when they go low just put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***king asses

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to include some ass kicking of modern day Trumpian Republicans.

Stephen Miller’s Fascist Hairstyles

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has taken ownership of the government shutdown all because he wants his precious border wall, which only right wing, anti-immigrant fascists want and a majority of Americans think shouldn’t be a priority. Like the stubborn man child he is, he’s hunkered down in the White House acting like the petulant megalomaniac he is, sending out pitiful ‘poor me’ tweets on Christmas Eve.

But what was really funny was when he recently sent out his Joseph Goebbels-in-training, Stephen Miller, to make the rounds advocating the border wall. In typical dickhead fashion, Miller humorlessly drove home his bullshit on news while sporting what looked to be spray on hair. Of course, the media took notice and mocked his horrible fashion sense. But maybe Stephen Miller has a future as a fashion icon for the alt-right authoritarian movement. We can definitely see a whole line of Stephen Miller hairstyles of the spray on variety for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Little Man Trump

The midterms are over and the Democrats, as expected, have taken back control of the House of Representatives, which gives them a much needed check against America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s continued abuse of power. The Republicans augmented their control of the Senate though, preventing a blue tsunami. However, Democrats made some important gains that have predictably been pooh-poohed by Republicans and some of the main stream media.

Take for instance, the gubernatorial and senate races in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania: three swing states that voted for Trump in 2016. All three elected Democratic governors and senators. It appears like voters in those states appear to be admitting that Trump is a con artist and they made a mistake. To put it in perspective, if these three states had voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, Trump wouldn’t be CEO/Dictator of America. It also means that the Democrats could very well put these states back in their column in 2020.

Also consider that 71% of the candidates that Trump supported lost their elections. So it definitely appears that many people have tired of Trump’s shenanigans and want anybody who supports him out of office.

While most agree that it wasn’t a huge swell like 2006, when Bush got “a thumpin'”, it was a good wave and it has rattled Trump and put him on the defensive. Not only did he lash out at reporters at a press conference, he pushed Attorney Confederate General, Jeff Sessions, out the door. Of course, in true Trumpian fashion, the orange haired, megalomaniac, man child blamed everyone but himself for the losses. It’s funny, when we were growing up over half a century ago, there was a saying that it takes a big man to take the blame and admit he was wrong or that he made a mistake. Once more, Trump is proving that he is a very, very, very, little man.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

McSally: Trump Rubber Stamp

Wow! Two posts in a row on Martha McSally. Well, it’s election season here in Arizona and the GOP is at it again. We noted on our last post on how Martha McSally, who originally distanced herself from America’s CEO, Donald Trump, after his inauguration, has now drank the fascist Kool-Aid and is fully embracing the right wing crazy that is the modern Republican party.

On Monday’s debate between the two candidates, McSally claimed that Sinema was guilty of treason in a 2003 radio interview in which the radio host wackily started bantering about hypothetical situations and Sinema, refusing to give into the libertarian’s stupidity, suggested it was okay if he wanted to join the Taliban. To her credit, Ms. Sinema called McSally on her dirty politics. What McSally did is what Republican’s always do: they slice and dice only a small bit of what was said and never the full picture. Even former Attorney General, Republican Grant Woods, has called McSally on her bullshit. More often than not the Republicans accuse Democrats of exactly what they’re trying to do. like when Trump falsely declared that Democrats wanted to destroy Social Security and Medicare.

Of course, Republicans are the masters of being irony impaired. McSally called Sinema’s actions treasonous while completely turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s colluding with Russia during the 2016 elections and his open support for that ‘strong and powerful’ Russian president Vladimir Putin. We think McSally’s statements have earned herself a tin foil hat worthy of other Arizona wack jobs like former governor, Jan Brewer and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. That’s right, Ms. McSally: keep drinking that crazy, right wing, Trump Kool-Aid.

What’s also interesting is that not only is Trump supporting McSally but also Trump’s supposed Arizona nemesis, phony, feckless Jeff Flake has endorsed her as well. Yet, the Republicans are trying to con everyone that there are differences within the ranks of the GOP. Now that’s fake news.

With healthcare on many Arizonan’s minds, maybe McSally’s abysmal record on healthcare votes will help sway voters to elect Sinema rather than a Trump rubber stamp.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump's 2016 election treason.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s 2016 election treason.

Ol’ Pruneface Grassley

One person who came to the forefront for his surliness in the sham Kavanaugh hearings was Iowa senator, Chuck Grassley. He’s the very epitome of a cranky, cantankerous, old man sitting on his front porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Even the BilgeBucket’s resident old coot, Chester Einstein, says Grassley out-cranks him. Now that’s cranky!

Well, not only was his surliness during the hearings widely noted, he stated this week that the reason for the absence of GOP women on the Senate Judiciary committee was due to the heavy workload, implying that women couldn’t handle the job like a man could. The committee has never had a female Republican on it, whereas Democrats currently have four. Grassley, of course, backtracked and spun his comments like a true conservative Republican, but given his behavior toward the women involved in the Kavanaugh hearings, we think this sexist old coot should probably retire to his front porch for real come 2020 when he’s up for re-election.

We here at the Bucket are old enough to remember the Dick Tracy comics and we think that ol’ Chuck Grassley, with his permanently dour, sour and stoic expression bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s villains, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol' coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy's old nemeses, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol’ coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s old nemeses, Pruneface.

America’s Greatest Antifa Warriors

America’s CEO/Donald Trump has been steadily guiding America toward an authoritarian, corporatist, fascist state ever since he came into office much to the delight of Republicans, who’ve been clamoring for this ever since Franklin Roosevelt created the New Deal. The 2016 election was their coup and Trump is now ramming through the Republican’s agenda (like last year’s tax cuts that favor the rich) that has already given power to top corporations in America for years to come while drastically reducing the capability of the average American consumer to protest or dissent. Or basically democracy…but only for the rich.

Now our orange haired man child is whining about the antifa protesters who have been engaging against white supremacists in many protest marches around the country. Trump claims it is the antifa groups who are the violent parties and America should fear them more than the Neo-Nazis. This is propaganda that would have made Joseph Goebbels very proud. We have volumes of evidence of the violence perpetrated by Nazis throughout history. And yet Trump vilifies the people who fight against them. You know who else were huge antifa warriors?; every single American man and woman who fought against Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy during World War II. By claiming antifa doesn’t represent America’s values is a slap in the face of every American who gave their lives during World War II. It’s unbelievable that so many supposedly patriotic Republicans are not only buying this bullshit but supporting it. We’re pretty sure the last great Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, would probably be in the anti-fascist camp.  Wake up America!

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.