Archive for Meme-ries

Hamberder Heaven

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, recently make a big deal that the Clemson national championship football team was making a visit to the White House. So did billionaire Trump break out the bucks to entertain these athletic lads with a fine dining experience? In true Trumpian fashion, he treated them to piles and piles of hamburgers and other junk foods from fast food chains. We guess he just assumed that since he loves this crap, everybody else must do it as well.

Trump also glaringly lied about the numbers served saying one time 300 hamburgers were served. Then he tweeted hilariously that a 1000 ‘hamberders’ were served.  So if Trump isn’t lying, he’s misspelling…hugely. There’s that old adage that says “You are what you eat.” Well apparently, Trump is a pile of junk food.

America's CEO/Dictator and junk food and 'hamberder' aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

America’s CEO/Dictator and junk food and ‘hamberder’ aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.

These Boots Were Made For Kicking Ass

We’ve decided to kick off the new year with a positive, non-Trump (or at least a minimal-Trump) post. Since the Democrats are now in charge of the House and Nancy Pelosi is set to become the Speaker of the House, we’re feeling a lot better about perhaps some justice coming to American CEO/Dictator and ill-tempered man child, Donald Trump, after two years of lies and corruption from his administration.

But in the mean time, let’s devote a little time to one of our favorite people here at the Bucket, Michelle Obama. The former First Lady has been making the rounds promoting her best selling book, Becoming. But she caused quite a sensation recently when she showed up to an event wearing a pair of $4000 designer boots. Now we adhere to the Henry David Thoreau mantra of “Simplify, Simplify” so we all think that’s a bit much to be paying for a pair of shoes. Staff member and living fossil Chester Einstein grumbles about paying $20 for a pair of loafers at Payless. But we’re also aware that conservative Republicans, who preach austerity to their sheeple, regularly go out and spend gobs of money on extravagant, expensive material possessions (see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, The Bushes, etc…). For instance, take current First Lady Melania Trump…please. She regularly wears glitzy, lavish, ostentatious clothing: remember her ‘fashionable’ “I don’t really care, do u” jacket. But then Republicans bitch anytime Democrats spend even a little bit of money. Sean Hannity and the faux journalists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, threw a memorable hissy fit when Barack Obama ordered spicy mustard for his burger back in 2009. Oh the humanity!!!

So although we pinch pennies better than Jack Benny, we think Michelle Obama looked fantastic and we say “Go get ’em!”  Who can forget her classy speech from the 2016 election when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” For normal, sane humans who believe in civilized society, these words are inspirational and right in line with the golden rule. But right wing, conservative, ‘christian’ Republicans only mocked and derided her. So, we’d like to suggest an minor update to our favorite First Lady for dealing with today’s Trumpian Republicans: “When they go low…put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***ing asses.”

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to now say when they go low just put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***king asses

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to include some ass kicking of modern day Trumpian Republicans.

Stephen Miller’s Fascist Hairstyles

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has taken ownership of the government shutdown all because he wants his precious border wall, which only right wing, anti-immigrant fascists want and a majority of Americans think shouldn’t be a priority. Like the stubborn man child he is, he’s hunkered down in the White House acting like the petulant megalomaniac he is, sending out pitiful ‘poor me’ tweets on Christmas Eve.

But what was really funny was when he recently sent out his Joseph Goebbels-in-training, Stephen Miller, to make the rounds advocating the border wall. In typical dickhead fashion, Miller humorlessly drove home his bullshit on news while sporting what looked to be spray on hair. Of course, the media took notice and mocked his horrible fashion sense. But maybe Stephen Miller has a future as a fashion icon for the alt-right authoritarian movement. We can definitely see a whole line of Stephen Miller hairstyles of the spray on variety for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Little Man Trump

The midterms are over and the Democrats, as expected, have taken back control of the House of Representatives, which gives them a much needed check against America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s continued abuse of power. The Republicans augmented their control of the Senate though, preventing a blue tsunami. However, Democrats made some important gains that have predictably been pooh-poohed by Republicans and some of the main stream media.

Take for instance, the gubernatorial and senate races in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania: three swing states that voted for Trump in 2016. All three elected Democratic governors and senators. It appears like voters in those states appear to be admitting that Trump is a con artist and they made a mistake. To put it in perspective, if these three states had voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, Trump wouldn’t be CEO/Dictator of America. It also means that the Democrats could very well put these states back in their column in 2020.

Also consider that 71% of the candidates that Trump supported lost their elections. So it definitely appears that many people have tired of Trump’s shenanigans and want anybody who supports him out of office.

While most agree that it wasn’t a huge swell like 2006, when Bush got “a thumpin'”, it was a good wave and it has rattled Trump and put him on the defensive. Not only did he lash out at reporters at a press conference, he pushed Attorney Confederate General, Jeff Sessions, out the door. Of course, in true Trumpian fashion, the orange haired, megalomaniac, man child blamed everyone but himself for the losses. It’s funny, when we were growing up over half a century ago, there was a saying that it takes a big man to take the blame and admit he was wrong or that he made a mistake. Once more, Trump is proving that he is a very, very, very, little man.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

McSally: Trump Rubber Stamp

Wow! Two posts in a row on Martha McSally. Well, it’s election season here in Arizona and the GOP is at it again. We noted on our last post on how Martha McSally, who originally distanced herself from America’s CEO, Donald Trump, after his inauguration, has now drank the fascist Kool-Aid and is fully embracing the right wing crazy that is the modern Republican party.

On Monday’s debate between the two candidates, McSally claimed that Sinema was guilty of treason in a 2003 radio interview in which the radio host wackily started bantering about hypothetical situations and Sinema, refusing to give into the libertarian’s stupidity, suggested it was okay if he wanted to join the Taliban. To her credit, Ms. Sinema called McSally on her dirty politics. What McSally did is what Republican’s always do: they slice and dice only a small bit of what was said and never the full picture. Even former Attorney General, Republican Grant Woods, has called McSally on her bullshit. More often than not the Republicans accuse Democrats of exactly what they’re trying to do. like when Trump falsely declared that Democrats wanted to destroy Social Security and Medicare.

Of course, Republicans are the masters of being irony impaired. McSally called Sinema’s actions treasonous while completely turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s colluding with Russia during the 2016 elections and his open support for that ‘strong and powerful’ Russian president Vladimir Putin. We think McSally’s statements have earned herself a tin foil hat worthy of other Arizona wack jobs like former governor, Jan Brewer and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. That’s right, Ms. McSally: keep drinking that crazy, right wing, Trump Kool-Aid.

What’s also interesting is that not only is Trump supporting McSally but also Trump’s supposed Arizona nemesis, phony, feckless Jeff Flake has endorsed her as well. Yet, the Republicans are trying to con everyone that there are differences within the ranks of the GOP. Now that’s fake news.

With healthcare on many Arizonan’s minds, maybe McSally’s abysmal record on healthcare votes will help sway voters to elect Sinema rather than a Trump rubber stamp.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump's 2016 election treason.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s 2016 election treason.

Ol’ Pruneface Grassley

One person who came to the forefront for his surliness in the sham Kavanaugh hearings was Iowa senator, Chuck Grassley. He’s the very epitome of a cranky, cantankerous, old man sitting on his front porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Even the BilgeBucket’s resident old coot, Chester Einstein, says Grassley out-cranks him. Now that’s cranky!

Well, not only was his surliness during the hearings widely noted, he stated this week that the reason for the absence of GOP women on the Senate Judiciary committee was due to the heavy workload, implying that women couldn’t handle the job like a man could. The committee has never had a female Republican on it, whereas Democrats currently have four. Grassley, of course, backtracked and spun his comments like a true conservative Republican, but given his behavior toward the women involved in the Kavanaugh hearings, we think this sexist old coot should probably retire to his front porch for real come 2020 when he’s up for re-election.

We here at the Bucket are old enough to remember the Dick Tracy comics and we think that ol’ Chuck Grassley, with his permanently dour, sour and stoic expression bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s villains, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol' coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy's old nemeses, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol’ coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s old nemeses, Pruneface.

America’s Greatest Antifa Warriors

America’s CEO/Donald Trump has been steadily guiding America toward an authoritarian, corporatist, fascist state ever since he came into office much to the delight of Republicans, who’ve been clamoring for this ever since Franklin Roosevelt created the New Deal. The 2016 election was their coup and Trump is now ramming through the Republican’s agenda (like last year’s tax cuts that favor the rich) that has already given power to top corporations in America for years to come while drastically reducing the capability of the average American consumer to protest or dissent. Or basically democracy…but only for the rich.

Now our orange haired man child is whining about the antifa protesters who have been engaging against white supremacists in many protest marches around the country. Trump claims it is the antifa groups who are the violent parties and America should fear them more than the Neo-Nazis. This is propaganda that would have made Joseph Goebbels very proud. We have volumes of evidence of the violence perpetrated by Nazis throughout history. And yet Trump vilifies the people who fight against them. You know who else were huge antifa warriors?; every single American man and woman who fought against Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy during World War II. By claiming antifa doesn’t represent America’s values is a slap in the face of every American who gave their lives during World War II. It’s unbelievable that so many supposedly patriotic Republicans are not only buying this bullshit but supporting it. We’re pretty sure the last great Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, would probably be in the anti-fascist camp.  Wake up America!

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.

Antifa activists are in good company with another group of prominent Americans: the brave, patriotic men and women who fought against the Nazis and Italian Fascists during World War II.

The Untouchables: 2018

Paul Manafort is the latest former associate of Donald Trump to flip and it has many speculating as to whether this is the beginning of the end for the orange haired man child who is America’s CEO/Dictator. Most people agree that things aren’t looking good for Trump, but then again things have never looked good for the Donald during his entire disastrous presidency and yet he is still — unfrickingbelievably — president.

This whole clusterf*cked trauma brings to mind for us old farts here at the Bucket, the early 1960s crime drama The Untouchables starring Robert Stack as Eliot Ness, which has been constantly played in syndication on TV for the last fifty years. In the episodes, Ness and his band of incorruptible G-men pursued noted criminal gangsters like Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti and the kingpin, Al Capone.  The lead-in and ending graphic for the show was very stylistic and combined with the iconic theme music, set the mood perfectly for the drama. We can just imagine a possible reality reboot of the show with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid team of FBI agents as they descend on Trump Tower to bring to justice members of the Republican crime syndicate like Manafort, Michael Cohen and of course, the dear leader, the real Alphonse Capone of the 21st century, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

The Perfect Visual Metaphor

It’s been a nerve-wracking several days for the inhabitants of North Carolina and South Carolina as they have dealt with the preparation for and are still enduring the effects of Hurricane Florence, which is now slowly spinning over South Carolina, still packing tropical storm force winds and drenching the region with record rainfall and flooding reminiscent of last year’s Hurricane Harvey in Houston.

While watching the coverage of the storm online, we noticed a web cam set up on Frying Pan Tower off the coast of Cape Fear in North Carolina. The cam was set up focusing mainly on the American flag fluttering in the wind with the stormy seas rolling behind it. As time went on, the violent winds of Hurricane Florence battered and eventually ripped the flag to shreds. We thought: what a perfect visual metaphor for what category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is doing to American democracy and rule of law.

Much like Hurricane Florence demolished the American flag at Frying Pan Tower in North Carolina, category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is shredding American democracy and rule of law.

Much like Hurricane Florence demolished the American flag at Frying Pan Tower in North Carolina, category 5 shitstorm, Donald Trump, is shredding American democracy and rule of law.

The Republican Crime Syndicate

Things are heating up in the Robert Mueller investigation as more and more of Donald Trump’s cronies are being indicted or flipping on the orange haired man child. The list keeps growing of people close to Trump who are being exposed for corruption. The list includes: Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman; Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor; Rick Gates, former business partner of Manafort; and Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and ‘fixer’. One of Trump’s former campaign advisors, George Papadopoulos, just received a puny 14 day sentence for lying to the FBI. In addition to these crooks, there is also one of the first GOP congressmen to support Trump, New York’s Chris Collins, who’s been indicted on insider trading and California’s Duncan Hunter, who is accused along with his wife (who he promptly blamed completely) of misusing campaign funds.  Throw in corrupt former EPA chief Scott Pruitt, former HHS Secretary Tom Price, Donald Trump Jr., who may be implicated because of his Trump Tower meeting and of course, Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s current lawyer who looks like he came straight out of a mafia movie and has done nothing but constantly lie and embarrass himself since he was hired by Trump. It’s a rogue’s gallery of con artists who could have easily rubbed elbows with the likes of Capone against the FBI G-men in the 1920s and 30s. Hey, whaddya’ know…Trump is fighting against the FBI just like those hoodlums.

The indictments are now prompting America’s CEO/Dictator to become unglued. He has accused Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III of hurting Republican chances in the midterms.  He continues his assault on the free press stating that it is the ‘enemy of the people’.  Bob Woodward’s new book release paints a pretty dismal picture of the Trump White House and has Trump champing at the bit. Now the orange megalomaniac is blowing his top with his own staff because of a recent op-ed piece in the New York Times which pretty much states that Trump is an addle-brained lunatic incapable of making sound decisions.

So, logically with all this mounting evidence of a completely incompetent and dangerous administration, why aren’t the supposedly ‘morally superior’ Republicans removing the orange haired man child from office? Like we’ve said in previous posts, the Trump administration is doing exactly what the Republican’s corporate overlords want him to do; provide daily distractions in the media while the Republican corporate lackeys in the Senate, House and the courts systematically dismantle laws and regulations therefore enabling the corporate oligarchy to reap enormous wealth in the process. If that means breaking the law, then so be it. The Republican party is no longer a party; their actions indicate they are now a crime syndicate worthy of praise from the Godfather himself.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they're a crime syndicate.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump’s associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they’re a crime syndicate.